Adam McLane

What’s all the fuss about sexting?

There have been a lot of newspaper articles about sexting lately.

Example 1

Example 2

Example 3

Example 4

What in the world is sexting? Simply put, sexting is using your mobile device to send a sexy note to someone.

What’s the big deal about it? It’s nothing serious. As long as kids have communicated there have been kids who passed naughty notes, instant messages, emails, and now… text messages. (text, picture, and even video)

But let’s get real for a second. As long as there have been kids talking dirty to one another there has always been an adult fascination with their pillow talk. And since news agencies know that nothing sells better than teens talking about their sex life every newspaper in the country picked up on the study.

Next thing you know there will be a Christian company perpetrating a lie that their cell phone network screens and blocks anything inappropriate! Jesus Talk, 400 minutes and 400 bible verses per month. $129.99!

Do kids really send naughty things to one another via their cell phones? Probably. But, in my experience, this is no where near what everyone things it is. What it typically is relates more to pornography than sexting. In other words, kids send dirty notes to one another, share videos, and share pictures with their phones. (And computers, and xbox’s, and PS3s, and ipods, and any device you can imagine!)

But let’s get real. This isn’t a big deal. We need to put away our facination with adolescent sexuality and focus on teaching the kids in our lives how to value other people. No one wants to be exploited by their boyfriend/girlfriend. Doesn’t education on this really just boil down to the Golden Rule?

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Adam McLane

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Comments

13 responses to “What’s all the fuss about sexting?”

  1. Uncle Dave Avatar
    Uncle Dave

    Is this new news in america? It’s kind of weird because naughty phone sex texting etc. for me was before dirty email, i remember getting them when i was like 16. I’m just suprised that the US of A has taken so long to catch up

    Reply
  2. Uncle Dave Avatar
    Uncle Dave

    oh and to add.. as soon as phones had camera’s the pics and videos wer being passed around, and bluetooth made it worse. You wer out somewhere and people wer connecting and sending you stuff

    Reply
  3. ¿Qué es el “sexting”? — Textualmenteactivo.com

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  5. Juan A Fister Avatar
    Juan A Fister

    This is nothing new in the USA, The new thing is that kids are getting in trouble for doing it. Its considered child pornography. Which in the USA is illegal there for its caused a stir….

    Reply
  6. Violet Avatar
    Violet

    Your the ones who caused this in the first place.
    Media?!?!?! Duh.
    You know when you were our age you were just as interested in sex as we are.
    I am eighteen years old. I like sex. Get over it.
    This is ridiculous. Its like the world is coming to an end over some naughty texts.
    Oh then the suicide….some other stuff was going on with her.

    Reply
  7. arealmom Avatar
    arealmom

    Violet, really. You are ONLY 18! And yes at 18 I also LOVED sex! However…. I ALWAYS had enough common sense to know that if EVER took a photo of myself that way and gave it to a BOY (not men yet), it would be all over campus within hours!! For some who really believe that being wanted just as a sexual object, this may sound sooo AWESOME and may even be your goal. However, for those who really do not want to be known as TRASHY and want more from life, they use the knowledge God gave them and refrian from such STUPID acts! Ohhh your parents should be sooo proud!! Bravo Sweetie! Now go tell your parents what a FINE job they have done!

    Reply
  8. Violet Avatar
    Violet

    Thanks “arealmom.”
    You have no right whats so ever to dismiss my upbringing.
    I am in all AP classes. I have parents who love me and a very very loving boyfriend.
    However…I do not belive in God. And honestly I feel better about myself. The “knowledge of God” was enforced upon me. But it wasn’t for me. I am so damn sorry I go against the fantasy world you live in. I love myself. I love my family. And I love my boyfriend. But don’t ever come and dismiss my raising as a child.
    I have done things that I am not proud of: sexually and not sexually. But coming from a person who has sent sexy texts…I am okay..no remorse….wait..oh no that wasn’t it either.

    Reply
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  10. The T(w)een Factor Avatar
    The T(w)een Factor

    Hi there

    I too have a blog post with a similar title: ‘Sexting – What’s the fuss all about?’ http://thetweenfactor.blogspot.com/2010/09/sexting-whats-fuss-all-about.html

    I have worked (and continue to do so) with teens for almost 20 years and I fear that statements such as yours will not empower parents or young people when issues such as ‘sexting’ DO come up. I have spoken to thousands of young people and at EVERY seminar there are youth waiting behind to talk with me about their ‘sexting’ habits and what to do to ‘erase’ these!

    I do believe that we need not be sensationalist about this, but acting as if it is not a real issue in the lives of today’s youth, we are setting them up for failure.

    I look forward to staying in contact and hearing some views on this.

    Collett

    Reply
    1. adam mclane Avatar
      adam mclane

      Collett- thanks for your comment. This blog post is nearly 2 years old. And, here in the states, I wouldn’t change a word of my opinion. Students are still sexting. (of that I have no doubt) And certainly some are harmed/shamed by it.

      And adults are still fascinated by adolescent sexual behavior, acting like moral police, and even vilifying adolescent sexual behavior by adding yet another law for them to break.

      My opinion is pretty much the same. There are much more important matters to address in the lives of students.

      Reply
  11. The T(w)een Factor Avatar
    The T(w)een Factor

    Thanks Adam – I completely agree that if we focus on relationships, spirituality and the ‘positives’ we go a long way in empowering our youth. I just found your comment ‘It’s nothing serious.’, when it is actually illegal in Australia and many other countries a little frivolous.

    I too am an active Christian (and psychotherapist) and see the effects that pornography and sexualization are having on relationships. It is far more destructive now than the old magazine at the corner store once a month ever was. (not that, that wasn’t)

    I will keep up with your blog and look forward to keeping in touch!

    Reply
  12. ladynala Avatar
    ladynala

    Ok, so like I’m gonna be honest and admit that I Have sexted before…well in the dirty messages form of it. Me and my boyfriend were dating for about a year and a half (we’re both 15) and we wanted to try something to make things a little more interesting, so we tried it. It worked out pretty good and we both really loved eachother so it was awesome but one day he forgot to erase his messages and his mom read them O.O long story short his parents being the strict Catholics they are broke us up and forbid us to talk :/ we still talk sometimes when his parents are around, but in the end in the end I lost a guy I really loved that I could see a future with all because Sexting. So personally, I’m done, for good 🙁

    Reply

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