Month: December 2009

  • 5 Clarifying Questions

    As another week begins and another year winds down I hope that you are pausing long enough to reflect on who you have become, who you are becoming, and the trajectory/pace you are taking.

    If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today, and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, how much more will he clothe you, O you of little faith! And do not set your heart on what you will eat or drink; do not worry about it. For the pagan world runs after all such things, and your Father knows that you need them. — Luke 12:28-30

    Where have you set your heart?

    Ask yourself these questions:

    1. If they stopped paying me to do what I do… would I still do it?
    2. Am I proud of what I’m doing?
    3. Am I doing something worth dying for?
    4. Am I doing something worth living for?
    5. If I were to go back nine years, am I on the path of things I dreamed about for ten years in the future?

  • 61 Minutes: The Kitchen

    I’m learning to love time lapse videos so I thought I’d start off by making a series of my own.

    Here’s an ordinary 61 minutes in my kitchen. A mom makes dinner, cleans up, takes the dog for a walk, a dad sneaks a snack, the kids come and do homework.

    There is something extraordinary about the ordinary, isn’t there?

  • December Nights

    Yesterday my family went to December Nights. At the heart of San Diego’s tourist industry stands Balboa Park. It’s a very cool complex of museums, gardens, and of course the San Diego Zoo. Like residents of most tourist destinations, very few San Diego residents regularly go to the tourist industries epicenter. I don’t know what that is, but it’s the same reason why I lived in Chicago for 8 years but have never been to the top of the Sears Tower.

    Once per year, the residents of San Diego go to Balboa Park for a community festival called December Nights. As Midwesterners, we laugh at the Santa Claus’s and hot chocolate stands among the palm trees… but for San Diego folks this is about as cold as it’ll get and they are feeling the Christmas spirit.

    It’s an event filled with wonderful food stands, choirs and dance troupes, and vendors peddling their art.

    It’s also filled with SoCal flavor. Yuppies bring their foo foo dogs. Families bring their kids and grandparents. The singles scene crowds into the 21+ booze area. Political nut cases try to get you to sign their ballot petition. Kids sell candy, some for legit causes some for illegitimate causes. Someone in the parking lot was likely selling weed. Vendors walk around trying to sell you stuff that you don’t want. (But at least they have nice candy canes!) It’s really the same crowd you’ll see at the beach, baseball games, or any other street market in the city.

    Perhaps the most fun thing about living in a tourist destination is being a local who gets to play when all the tourists go home?

  • Congrats to Tim & Sara

    st_48A few weeks ago Sara and Tim got married. They have a pretty cool story, I hope I don’t get in too much trouble for sharing the little snippets that I know.

    I met Sara last October in Pittsburgh for the National Youth Workers Convention. I was walking around looking for people to interview for the ghetto fabulous podcast recap and found Sara in the hallway and she agreed to let me ask her a few questions. (She also knew Patti, maybe through YMX, I’m not sure on that part of the story!) Later in the weekend she and I bumped into one another again in the store and chatted some more. We connected, it was cool, and now she is a contributor on the YS blog.

    I remember cracking up with her because she told me that before the convention the little old ladies of the church had invited her to come over and they all prayed for her… that she would meet a husband at the conference. Being from a smallish town in Upstate New York it really wasn’t an unreasonable prayer request. There probably aren’t a ton of eligible bachelors there who’d love a life of ministry to teenagers. She thought it was funny that the ladies of the church were so concerned about her dating life. I mean, it is really funny!

    Lo and behold, the old ladies of the church got their prayer answered! Sara met Tim (a youth worker from the Albany area) at convention. They hit it off… obviously. And I have no idea the whirlwind romance that happened between then and November 14th… but they got married!

    Now we know that NYWC isn’t just a place to get encouraged, trained, resourced… and has been well-documented… make babies [for married couples.] Apparently, NYWC is a great place to meet a spouse, too!

    We tried really hard to get them to convention in Atlanta so we could bring them up on stage, embarrass them lovingly, and turn their faces all shades of red. As it turned out, NYWC was a great place to meet and all… but not such a great place for a honeymoon.

  • The power of editing

    The unsung heroes of any book, movie, magazine, or television show are the people behind the scenes who edit and frame a story into something that people will want to watch and talk about.

    For instance, take a look at the trailer for the 1988 movie, “A Cry in the Dark.” (You know, the one with Meryl Streep when she says, “A dingo ate my baby!” “the dingo’s got my baby.” [Thanks commenter])

    Here is the original trailer, put together by the UK-based company who made the movie, CannonFilms.

    Here is the U.S. theatrical release version shown to American audiences, put together by Warner.

    The video is probably 90% the same. Same shots, same scenes used. But with a few copy edits, a different voiceover actor, and different background music… the trailer comes across much different.

    I bring this up for two reasons.
    1. The difference between a lot of things being appropriate for one audience or the other is often times in the minor details.
    2. When you watch or read a story be aware that somewhere, someone is editing it to convey a message.

  • Let’s not talk about 2009 too much, ok?

    Let's never speak of 2009 again

    It’s not been an easy year. There have been some highlights… but a lot of lowlights. I can’t think of a period of time with more tears than 2009. I know I’m looking forward to a fresh start in 2010. Anyone with me?

  • Ministers Need Friends

    Photo by LabyrinthX via Flickr
    Photo by LabyrinthX via Flickr

    This may come as a shock to people who go to church– but being a church leader is a very lonely job. Sure, if you work in a church with a large staff it probably isn’t that lonely since you have co-workers who can become friends. But by-and-large, friends are hard to come by for ministers.

    Loneliness is a major issue for church staff.

    Reasons

    1. It’s hard to be friends with parishioners. Kristen and I have been fortunate in this regard, but by-and-large it is really hard to truly be friends with people in your church. You can be acquaintances, but you’ll never get to the point where you can go out for a laugh (or a beer) and lament about work sucking. (or just share “real life.” You have to be guarded.)
    2. It’s hard to find people wired like you. Even in large cities, there aren’t many people wired quite like a pastor.
    3. It’s hard to be friends since work hours are weird. I’ve not met a person who worked in a church who kept 9-5 type hours. It’s always that plus a bunch of nights out… randomly scattered. Makes it tough to be friends.
    4. It’s hard to have a life outside of the four walls of a church. The reason so much is said and written about balance and rest for church workers is that they suck at balance and resting! The job is just too demanding.

    Solutions

    1. Understand that this isn’t optional. For your long-term health as a minister in the community, you require friendships. (Not church acquaintances) You require true friendship outside of the church, in your local community.
    2. Seek permission from your supervisors. This sounds like a silly step, but you may need to hear “get a life” from your boss or board to make this a reality. If they’ve been a leader in the church for a while they will know that if you have good friendships locally you are more likely to stay in the community a lot longer. But if you are lonely, you will be a poor leader and in your boredom you’ll start looking for a job elsewhere.
    3. You aren’t in ____, so get over it. I know you are probably from somewhere you liked better. And you have friends who are in those places. That’s not helping you. Get over it and get to know some people in your community. God planted you where you are, He is smarter than you are, you need to suck it up and make friends.
    4. Do something outside the church. How did I make friends when I was in full-time church ministry? I volunteered to coach the golf team, I joined a golf league, a started participating in local politics. I wasn’t looking for 1,000 friends, just a few people who didn’t go to my church that I could be “just Adam” with and not “Pastor Adam.”
    5. Meet up with your long-time best friends once per year. Meet up at a conference, go away hunting, go on vacation together, go visit them for the Holidays… just do something where for a few days you can be with your long-time friends.

  • Christians are Bad Tippers

    Photo by garryknight via Flickr
    Photo by garryknight via Flickr

    The other day I was reading Steve Dublanica’s blog, Waiter Rant, in which he had a post entitled “Who are the worst tippers?“ Essentially, Steve was querying his reading audience… people who make most of their money from tips… who are the worst tippers.

    And the comments were revealing.

    There seem to be two kinds of bad tippers in the United States.

    1. People from countries where they don’t tip.
    2. The after church crowd.

    But the worst? Sunday Church goers who sit for hours and hours and leave 3 bucks on a $40 bill.

    What does that say about believers that we think so little of the people who serve us that we, as a people group, are known as cheap?

    ‘I tell you the truth, whatever you did not do for one of the least of these, you did not do for me.’ Matthew 25:45

    Let’s review. Here’s a link to some tipping ettiquette. This is what is expected, to not do at least this is rude.

    If you are going to go to lunch after church and hang out for an extended period of time, it is also customary to double tip on your table since the server is actually losing another table because you’ve stayed so long.

    Let’s presume that we, as a people group, are doing this because we just don’t know any better. But now that you know that “we” are known as bad tippers, I’d hope “we” adjust our behavior accordingly. I’d hate to presume that we really are cheap jerks!

  • Life Schmooshing

    life-convergence

    “How do I keep my private life private with social media?”

    When I pull away all the onion layers for people learning about social media, this is their core fear. They wrestle with two primary realities.

    1. Why would anyone care about what I am doing?
    2. How do I control the message?

    I’m not saying that every person who uses social media has something to hide. But I am saying that nearly every adult is increasingly aware that their use of the internet can be a both an asset and a liability– often times at the same time.

    I call it “life schooshing.” When I want to come across as intelligent, I use the phrase “life convergence.”

    Rather than fight it I suggest you learn to embrace and manage it.

    In the past, we could have a public persona and a private persona. And because theose spheres of influence rarely collided it wasn’t a big deal if those lifestyles didn’t line up with one another. A pastor could be a complete Republican hero on Sunday morning, while privately supporting the most liberal Democrats with his money. No one would ever know or ever care to know!

    The internet has changed all of that.

    Now? You’d be an idiot to try to keep all of these spheres apart. Your high school friends on Facebook will call you out. Your family will call you out. Your church will call you out. Your co-workers will call you out. Worse case scenario, your sins will call you out.

    Two realistic choices for dealing with life schmooshing.

    1. Go Amish. Unplug from social media. Don’t have a Google account. Stop using Facebook. Don’t comment on people’s blogs. Pretend Twitter doesn’t exist.
    2. Embrace incarnational living. It’s not a bad thing to have all of your life converge together. Trust me. It’s more blessing than curse. If you truly want to be a person of integrity in all areas of your life… social convergence is a great thing!

    What are some ways social media is helping your spheres converge in healthy ways? What are some fears you have? What about concerns of privacy?