CONTEST: Cobra Pit Cleaner ad

Sometimes I watch a YouTube video or read a news story and I wonder…

What would the Craigslist Ad look like for this?

Contest: Write a fake Craigslist ad for the gig featured in the video above. Make me laugh. Make me cry. Make me wince in pain. Just make it good.

Rules: Keep it PG-13 or below. No more than 2 entries per person. I’ll narrow it down to 3 finalists on Monday and run a poll to pick the winner.

Prize: $25 USD Amazon gift card. (If I get a lot of entries, maybe I’ll find more prizes.)

By Adam McLane

Kristen and Adam live in Ahwahnee, California.


  1. Are you tired of having hiss your pit? Call St Patrick’s professional hiss shoo-ers and pit doers. We’ll shoo the hiss right of your pit.

  2. Middle-management position has recently become available to oversee a quiver of ground-floor executives hungry for leadership. The selected candidate will demonstrate the ability to think quickly on their feet while maintaining order in chaos. Experience in sorting socks preferred but not required.

    In accordance with our company’s new-hire policy, employee’s first check will be held for two weeks.

  3. Adventurous Soul Wanted!

    Are you currently in a dead end job and feel like you’re going no where fast? Maybe it’s time for you to take a new direction and spice up your life!

    If you’re not much for the office environment (and as long as you don’t have ophidiophobia) this may be the job for you!!

    location: TBA
    compensation: $15 an hour (but that probably isn’t enough for what you will be doing . . . )

    Some cleaning experience needed

  4. A submission via Facebook from Jason B:

    Animal Caretaker Wanted
    Tired of the rat race? Like working outside with interesting animals? We’re looking for a reliable, venturesome, hands-on person who will clean and maintain an exclusive over-sized worm farm. Previous experience HIGHLY recommended, but not required.

    Excellent Benefits include: A swig of whiskey to start each shift properly relaxed. All the Easter egg shells you can find are yours to keep. The company may opt to purchase life insurance on Caretaker (came in handy with last employee).

    High-quality broom and pooper-scooper provided. Must supply your own sandals and first aid kit.

    Serious inquiries only. Don’t let this opportunity slither away!

    Location: Conveniently located just 43 miles from local hospital.

  5. Wanted: Youth pastor
    Reports to: Personnel Committee
    Job Description: This job is exciting. You can write your own job description when you get here. (i.e. – we dont know what it is we want you to do, but well know what we dont want you to do when you start doing it)
    Compensation: How much did you make at your last job?

  6. YS: The Early Years. Somehow this idea of playing with snakes didn’t make it to Mike and Wayne’s Ideas library.


    Wanted: Youth Minister in West virginia … must possess quick skill, love people, love the janitor, be able to sweep up after others, and be gentle like a dove and quick as a snake.

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