Do you have friends? Maybe that sounds like a weird question.
But the truth is that I know a lot of people who really don’t have many friends.
- Friends with whom they can be really, truly honest.
- Friends with whom they have shared significant stuff.
- Friends with whom they’ve known a long time, through the ups, downs, and monotony of life.
- Friends outside of their marriage.
- Friends outside of their family.
- Friends outside of their workplace.
- Friends with people who don’t give a crap about who you are or your fancy title or your work responsibilities.
Scott Rubin summed this up in his rant at the Middle School Ministry Campference last year… “Do you have people in your life with whom you can put your worst foot forward?”
And the result of not having enough friends?
When you don’t have enough friends in your life it starts to show in unhealthy ways.
- You put expectations on your marriage or relationship with your significant other that aren’t fair for your spouse or significant other.
- You wrap up your work with your friendships in an unhealthy way. Obviously, you can be friends with people you work with. But that can be a double-edged sword if those become your only friendships.
- Same with your family.
- When you have problems inside your marriage, family, or work… you don’t really have people with whom you can process stuff with. Consequently bad things tend to compound.
- When you don’t have people with whom you can be “just you” with, without today’s titles or roles– you kind of forget who you are.
- You make bad decisions or run with bad ideas and don’t have anyone in your life tell you it’s a bad deal.
- Do you have significant friendships? How are you celebrating that?
- Are you lacking in significant friendships? How are you rectifying that?