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The Villain in My Own Story

Here’s something coaching others has taught me: We’re often as much our own villain as we are our own hero.

That’s absolutely true of my life.

No one believes in me as much as I believe in myself. And no one doubts me like I doubt myself. It’s as simple and complex as that.

For me, confidence and self-doubt are tangled like spaghetti in the same bowl.

I have so much that I want to get done, that I want to accomplish for myself, my family, and the things I care about. But sometimes I push too hard. Sometimes I see an opportunity and seize it even when the timing is all wrong, leaving me looking like an idiot. And other times self-doubt takes over and I second guess myself while I watch opportunity pass right by, standing like a moron holding my gear on shore wishing I was on the boat I just missed.

I have a feeling most of us experience this spaghetti in life. There are some of us that are fortunate enough to have picked the right moments. And there are those of us who haven’t. But all of us are as much the villain as we are the hero in our own story.

I think that’s why empathy is so important. Empathy for myself in my own humanity. And empathy for others. Sometimes humans blow it. We. just. blow. it.

But you know what? If you go around the sun a few times you learn that life has a funny way of giving you another shot. Eminem is right about a lot of things… but as he’s learned himself, you get more than one shot, one opportunity.

And that’s why I woke up this morning.

And that’s why I’ll probably wake up tomorrow.

By Adam McLane

Kristen and Adam live in the San Diego neighborhood of Rolando with their three children.

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