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Stardate 73673.1: Third day of social distancing

Field trip day. Today’s coffee was really good. Today was also the first day of online learning for our 11th grader. I give it another day before e3 cancels school. Left at 8:15 to go to LA. Normally that’d be a huge mistake but today made it there in like 2 hours flat. Driving 80 MPH is a form of social distancing. Megan packed up her room. We saw students there but we didn’t talk to or touch anyone. So I don’t think we’re going to die. I did a good job not making dad jokes while she packed her room. But I wanted to. There’s no prizes for not telling dad jokes. But when you tell them they pay you in eye rolls. I am an eye roll millionaire. By this time I’m guessing 100% of husbands in the United States have propositioned their spouse with a social distancing joke. Like the virus that joke works 1%-3% of the time. See, eye rolls are free. We ate on campus and it was delicious. I had flash fried tofu with ginger and a sushi salad. They were so cautious at the dining hall that some student was getting paid to pour soda. I wish they’d tell him I can handle a full cup. The food at UCLA is delicious. Food at Moody sucked. Unless you liked cereal. I love Captain Crunch. I might hoard that next. We got back at about 4 PM. With rumors of San Diego going on lockdown like the Bay Area, I ran to Home Depot to get some stuff we needed. They did not have toilet paper. I don’t need toilet paper but I am socially obligated to look. We got Megan moved in. The kids instantly started talking Minecraft. I think they formed a coven or some sort of sorcery. Whatever keeps them busy. I washed my hands a lot today. I did my best to not touch stuff. I found a secret bottle of hand sanitizer. 

Current body temperature: 98.2
Rolls of toilet paper: 2.85 cases
Number of times I touched my face today: A million. 
Supplies: One of our doggy daycare clients traded us 3 lbs of rice for a dozen eggs. A neighbor traded us 12 oranges for a dozen eggs. 

Social distancing grade: C- (I went places but I didn’t talk to or touch anyone. Apparently I’ve been social distancing for years!)

By Adam McLane

Adam McLane is a partner at The Youth Cartel, co-author of A Parent's Guide to Understanding Social Media, blogger of 10+ years, and a fan of all things San Diego State University Aztecs.

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