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Stardate 73676: Fourth day of social distancing

Stardate 73676
Fourth day of social distancing

Today we took up arms against the gravitational pull of despair. We will not be bored! We will not be isolated! We will fight! Er, calm down dude, it’s only Facebook. After coffee Kristen and I settled in on a major work project. I taught her how to add items to WooCommerce and then we competed on who could do it the fastest. Kristen won. Seems to be a theme around here. I’m not a loser but I lose a lot. We decided that Jackson will do school from 9-noon each day. He was mad for long enough to remember how bored he was. Then he logged in to everything and got to work. He did as well as an extrovert stuck at home with four introverts trying to concentrate is going to do. No Jackson, I don’t want to talk right now. Tonight the governor said he didn’t think kids would be going back to school at all. So it’s summer break now? Great. I’m going to send Jackson to play at the governors house in Sacramento. After a weeks productivity squeezed into 6 hours I went to Tijuana. They have toilet paper there. That’s the story. The toilet paper is safe because there’s a direct correlation between the people hoarding toilet paper and the people who are afraid to travel to Mexico. I have a roll of toilet paper in my van for anyone who wants to know. It’s there because sometimes in Mexico you need a roll of toilet paper. Monday I went to LA. Tuesday I went to Tijuana. Wednesday I am not going anywhere. I did not touch any strangers today. I got something sticky on my hands in the grocery store in TJ. And I licked my finger. I don’t know why. I think it was sugar. Or coronavirus. I used hand sanitizer immediately afterwards. I’m probably gonna die. Also, just learned there was an infected student at UCLA. We are all gonna get it. If I get sick I’m eating those pinguinos.

Current body temperature: 97.2
Rolls of toilet paper: 2.85 cases
Number of times I touched my face today: Yes 
Supplies: We have not opened our 25 lbs of black beans or 25 lbs of flour. I don’t know why. We are down one box of Pop Tarts. 
Social distancing grade: F (finger in mouth in public place)

By Adam McLane

Kristen and Adam live in the San Diego neighborhood of Rolando with their three children.

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