Permission to Thin the Herd

As of right now there are 337 million people living in the United States.

“Two-thirds (67 percent) of Americans say they have a friend whom they have known since childhood” according to this study from the Survey Center on American Life.

According to Pew Research 53% of people have between 1 and 4 people whom they call close friends.

According to Facebook, the average user on the platform has 155 “friends”.

What’s the point?

The point is that there are a lot of people out there in your world and you don’t have to be friends with all of them.

Social media has mislabeled friends as acquaintances so long that we forget that our actual circle of friends isn’t that big.

It’s OK to thin the herd.

Thin on social media

It’s certainly OK to unfollow or unfriend someone who is unkind or doesn’t see the world the way you see it. Or posts too much or things that aren’t relevant to you. 10 years ago I was interested in growing my sphere of influence on social media wider and wider. But over the past few years I’ve grown my social media following on Instagram from 4,000 to about 450.

Thin IRL

It’s certainly OK to thin the herd in your daily lives, too.

As the world becomes more divided unsafe I’ve distanced protected myself more and more from people I no longer enjoy feel safe being around.

I think that’s what maturity looks like.

Sure, I can be curious about others and how they chose to see the world. But I don’t have to translate that curiosity towards being close with them.

And surely, for business or community relationship purposes, I can be friendly or even be an acquaintance with a lot of different types of people.

But you don’t have to sit in my living room. I don’t have to let you inside my head. And I surely have no obligation to be friends with those whom I don’t want to be.

Give yourself permission to…

You don’t need me telling you this. You already know it. But it’s totally OK to give yourself permission to end a relationship that is toxic in your life.

There’s 337 million people in this country. You ain’t gotta be friends with all of them.


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One response to “Permission to Thin the Herd”

  1. Roberta Brosius Avatar
    Roberta Brosius

    More than a decade ago, when I was trying to become a published author of a young adult novel, I was advised to grow my friends on social media. I did so. I have a lot of author friends I’ve never actually met, and I enjoy some of them more than others.
    I’ve also grown more nostalgic with age and reconnected with some high school friends. Some of those weren’t actually friends in high school, but from my graduating class. I think I have around 1000 friends. Some of them I keep snoozing at 30 day intervals because not only do we have nothing in common, they are always posting unkind and unsubstantiated “facts.” I don’t want to fight on FB, so I snooze.
    I think I agree with thinning the herd and I’m going to try to do that.

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