Category: Church Leadership

  • Is forgiveness possible?

    HT to Doug

  • How Do I Matter?

    Every person who attends your church needs to know the answer to this question. Church leaders, how are you answering it?

    There are two thoughts that lead me to this question. The first comes from Christopher Brook’s blog. He contemplates our freedom of conversion in contrast to the cost associated with that conversion. In some cultures, it has become illegal to convert from one religion to another… and that obviously presents a problem for Christianity. Even in Westernized countries our culture questions the morality of religious conversion. And it led Chris to the question, “Why are conversions down in America?” Why is it hard to have someone new come into the faith and easy for them to walk away?

    The second comes from an observation I made in talking to a former student yesterday. We were talking about her choice to change churches. At Romeo she felt as if no one really cared about her… rather focused on what could she do. Or extended guilt because of one thing or another. She’d have a few weeks where she wouldn’t be at church for various reasons. Upon returning she felt like no one really cared about her story, just immediately asked her to serve. Talk about devaluing a persons journey. She doesn’t want to come to a church where her worth is answered in “she fills a slot in ___ ministry.” And I don’t blame her.

    This leads me to say this, I think it is every churches responsibility to help their people understand how they matter. 

    People are wondering… do I fit in here? Are these my people? Am I one of them? Or am I just another body to fill a slot, fund a ministry, and boost the Sunday morning attendance by one. Here’s what they need to know.

    1. Does my service matter?

    2. How does my money matter?

    3. Do my prayers matter?

    4. Does my journey of messiness fit in?

    5. Do my vocational talents/interests matter?

    6. Do I matter enough to be loved for who I am right now?

    7. Am I worth a phone call, email, facebook message, text message?

    8. Do you love me for who I am or what I can do for you?

    Next, I wonder how many church leaders will read this and think… “How arrogant that a person would want to know how ‘they’ matter to my church? Of course they matter. I just don’t have time to tell people they matter.” My reply to that is pretty simple. People matter. It’s the reason why we do church. People are the reason there is a church. People are the reason we did all this training. People are the reason we have programs to find people to work in. People are the reason we prepare messages. It really is all about the people. And people is made up of very expensive individuals. Each one cost Christ a lot. Each individual is more valuable than your building, budget, or Bible lesson.

    Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. 1 Corinthians 6:19-20

    For discussion: How do you express people’s worth where you go to church? 

  • Finding a church home: Kaleo Church

    Our first stop on the search took us to Kaleo Church that meets at the AMC 20 in the Mission Valley Mall. Obviously, this being the first one we’ve visited it was pretty high on our list of places to explore.

    And we weren’t disappointed. Parking is a non-issue obviously. The location is easy enough to get to and was just 1.4 miles from the hotel. I think this campus would be roughly 10 miles from our new house… so a little far for our liking. But they also do something closer to us on the campus of San Diego State University that we may want to check out as well.

    I don’t really have a format to these “reviews,” so I am making it up.

    First impressions. I kind of dig the movie theater thing. Reminds me of Granger when it first started. It’s informal and comfortable to me. I could see myself easily inviting people to a movie theater. We were greeted by a few official greeter people and since we were awkwardly early for SoCal (15 minutes before service) there was absolutely no one in the auditorium! Thankfully Kate [wicked good violinist] was uber friendly and showed us where to take the kids. Boy were the kids happy they didn’t have to sit through the whole service.

    They seem pretty confident in their format. I like confidence. While it was odd there was no soft buffer music for those of us who came early, I was perfectly comfortable chilling with Kristen while the countdown clock was on.

    The service. It was very chill, but not overly chill in that the people up front came across as unprepared. The service order was very simple. 2-3 songs at the beginning, a message, 1-2 songs at the end with communion pretty much ending things. There were some short announcements at the beginning. But other than that it was a very basic service. Did I miss an offering? If they did it I didn’t notice. The lack of lighting, video, or even mics at times was both cool and different. For this group simplicity worked.
    Environmentally I don’t think they take full advantage of the space… but that’s OK and wasn’t annoying. I think their simple style reflects their values without coming across as bland.

    I really liked the style of the band though I’d never heard any of the songs. I gathered that a husband/wife team lead the band and we sang originals. Stylistically, I can’t quite label it… Hawaiian maybe? Very cool and raw sound. No production elements whatsoever for worship times. For my comfort level I could have dealt with a little Tomlin or Crowder mixed in, but the worship was… worshipful. So that’s good.

    The message. Yikes, I have to admit I wasn’t prepared for the depth. I had listened to parts of a couple of recent messages so I knew I would like the style of the primary preaching elder, David (I think that’s his name.) I liked that the message was designed in a way that acknowledged my intelligence and yet made me think. It was conversational, he even stopped a few times to ask for thoughts. It was very personal to the audience, a few moments he directed certain portions to individuals in the church that a segment applied to. If I had to find something negative it is that it felt a little like a college lecture. I don’t know if that’s a bad thing at all… just an observation.

    It was a tough passage (one I’ve always shied away from preaching) so I am not certain if that led to the length of the message… maybe 50 minutes? (Matthew 13) If I were designing the service I’d shoot for a little less preaching, but it seemed like he preached until he was done. The message only felt long at the end when he prayed… FOREVER! (Take that with a grain of salt as I’m trying to be “picky” here. How can you rush prayer?)

    I can’t really compare the message to anyone else I’ve heard. Definitely not “feel good, one big idea” like Andy Stanley and not quite “holy cow that’s a lot of stuff” like John Piper. But more leaning towards Piper than Stanley. If I knew more about Mark Driscoll I’d guess it was more like him.

    The church. One thing Kristen and I strongly identify with Kaleo is its mission. They are seemingly passionate about reaching the community. I noticed on their website they have a new ministry to exotic dancers as well as a homeless outreach and several other community projects. I liked feeling as though I could likely contribute something to Kaleo if God wanted us to partner with them.

    One thing I like is that Kaleo is a church plant of the Acts 29 network. While I don’t think we’re 100% exactly matching their theology… it is quite solid. If we proceed I’m going to really understand their position on women [not] in ministry as well as a couple other positional differences. But no deal breakers that I know of. But I know a couple other Acts 29 planters and a little bit of networking goes a long way to gaining credibility in my world.

    Kids ministry. Being selfish parents… kids ministry is pretty important to us. It was a big deal that the kids both wanted to go back. Megan asked several times throughout the day if we could go back to that church. “I know we want to look at a few churches before we decide, but I really liked the people there.” Megan even told me “it was awesome” during lunch. She is a pretty shy girl, so she must have really connected with the leaders and kids to say that.

    Paul… he was bored and hungry when we picked him up. It’s no surprise he was hungry as he’s always hungry. And I don’t think he was really all that bored. When I asked him later in the day if he’d like to go back to the “movie theater church” he asked if he could go back and told me he really liked it there. One thing they both liked was that the kids got to come into “big church” for the worship portion of the service. I also noticed that most of the parents seemed to go get their kids and bring them to the end of the service with them… we’d probably do that again.

    Overall. Kristen and I really liked what we saw. From a first impression standpoint we really dug the service and it made us curious about the church. We will definitely come back when we move out in a few weeks and give it a second look. I’d be quite interested to see how school starting effects both the attendance and demographics of the congregation. I think there were about 100-150 people in the service this morning. (I could have been WAY off too as Kristen and I sat about 5 rows to the front.) Age wise, we’re in our early 30s with kids… and we felt a little high on the age radar. I felt like we could definitely connect with some of the other couples, maybe even get involved somehow in mentoring the engaged/young marrieds. The young demographic is not a bad thing at all! It was also noticeable that they don’t have any student ministry of any kind. 10 years as a youth pastor and that stuck out like a sore thumb. At the same time, if you aren’t ready for student ministry it’s best to just allow someone who is to do that. With that said my mind started to wander and wonder… “I bet they could do a service at the same time for high schoolers.”

    As Kristen and I made our way to the food court after church we both agreed, Kaleo’s service was definitely heartfelt and decidedly not fake. That’s a great impression to leave on two “battle tested” church staffers. We’ve been inside the walls enough at church to smell fake.

    Follow-up. I filled out the card and talked to someone after the service. Actually, I thought it was cool that a couple of other new people introduced themselves to us. They just moved here from Texas and have been going to Kaleo about a month… that conversation awkwardly died… but yeah, it was cool new people said hello to newer people. So I’ll just wait and see if/what we get for follow-up.

  • Finding a church home: The Prize

    Ladies and gentlemen, let’s look at the grand prize and see what churches in San Diego would get if they won the McLane lottery.

    The total package. This family of four churchgoers label themselves as “contributors.” They won’t just be bumps on a log at your church, they will give it everything they’ve got. Adam has a passion for student ministry and would love to be the best volunteer you’ve ever had. Besides helping with those crazy adolescents Adam is pretty handy with all technical areas of the church. He can create stuff, manage teams of volunteers, or just generally make all your tech stuff work. Kristen has served on church boards, lead small groups, and loves doing outreach to other moms like her. These bible college grads don’t just give their time, they give their money too. But wait, there’s more!

    Adam and Kristen don’t come alone, they bring kids. Their two children are the perfect addition to your kids ministry. Megan is entering 2nd grade, loves to make friends, and will make your children’s workers gush with pride. Paul is a fresh faced kindergartner who is 100% boy. When he’s not pretending to be Scooby Doo or a Power Ranger, Paul will amaze you with his intellect. 

    Could there be more? Why yes! Not only does this family come regularly and contribute positively, they bring people! This family is hard wired for outreach into your community. Whether you are looking for people to head up a major outreach event or just looking for someone to invite their neighbors, look no further.

  • 3 Lies of Church Growth Experts

    Right now there are a lot of people making a lot of money telling churches how they can grow. Along the same lines, there are a lot of church boards and pastors wasting a lot of time discussing church growth strategy.

    An observation. Have you noticed that churches that want to grow (100 to 1000 people) flock to churches that grew 10, 20, or 30 years ago but have since plateaued? It’s like asking Bill Gates, “How do you start a software company?” Bill wouldn’t have a clue! When he wants to start a software company he buys one! In the same way, asking a church of 10,000 how to grow is a waste of time because they knew how to do it in their town 10, 20, or 30 years ago but haven’t a clue how to do it today in your town!

    So let me save your church some time and money. Here are 3 guaranteed ways NOT to grow a church. There must be 20 conferences, 50 books, and 100 consultants based on these three lies. 

    #1 You have to have a great ____ ministry. This lie has been out there forever. A church with a great van ministry that’s really reaching people will one day go, “Hey… let’s start teaching people how to start a van ministry so they can copy us!” Same thing with student ministry, kids ministry, music ministry, puppet ministry, after school ministry, seniors ministry, etc. None of these programs will grow your church! It’s just a marketing lie to think that you can grow a church by having a great program. Having great programs is vitally important to the mission of any church (reaching and discipling people) but there isn’t a program out there that will grow a church from 300 to 1000 people! If you see a conference, book, or consultant who tells you “If you just have ____ you’ll see the growth you are looking for” just know that you’re being sold an idea that worked in one location and won’t work in yours. The best consultants will look deeply into your organization before recommending anything!

    #2 If You Build it They Will Come Building stuff and remodeling stuff is highly addictive. But buildings and environments don’t grow churches. I’ve been to some real dumps that were exploding in growth. And I’ve been to some beautiful buildings that were empty. Have you ever been to Europe? There you can visit some of the best looking church buildings in the world, they are mostly empty on Sunday mornings. As a 16 year old I toured the Cathedral in Strasbourg France. Completed in 1439 the cathedral is amazing in its beauty. It was the tallest building in the world from 1647 to 1874. Talk about a city on a hill! Want to know how many people go there now? None.

    A ministry will endure when it focuses on its task at hand way more than its location. Location means squat. (Just ask the Chinese!)

    If someone is telling you that a new building or a new _____ will grow your church, they are either deceived or trying to sell you something. Take a tour of some of the fastest growing churches in the United States and you won’t be overly impressed with architecture, ornate decoration, or interior design. What’s on fire in those places is not the building!

    #3 “You have to be more focused on reaching people than keeping people.” This is just ignorant marketing! It’s even worse pastoring.

    The best thing you can do to grow a church is to lead, grow, and love the people in your church. If they are growing, being lead  to deeper expressions of their faith, and feeling loved by the people of the church, they will tell their friends. That makes sense along every front a church looking to grow. Marketing, strategy, leadership. 

    The only church growth advice that I’ve ever heard that is truly a guarantee is “All healthy organisms grow.” That is dead on. If only the folks looking to grow their churches would focus on getting the church they have today healthy, it would grow. But to take an unhealthy church and try to grow it with a new building or a new program or a new focus is just silly. 

    Q for Church leaders: What do you think? Do you think I’ve captured 3 lies in church growth? Or do you think those experts out there really have something that can help you grow your church?

  • Finding a church home: Pre-search thoughts

    Pre-search thoughtsThis week marks the beginning of a new era. For the first time in more than 10 years Kristen and I begin a search for a new church home. Sure, there were other searches before– but they were always tied to employment so that’s a little different. Now that I don’t have a church job we are looking for a new church from a whole new vantage point, and that’s kind of exciting!

    And so the search begins in earnest.

    What are we looking for? There’s no simple answer to that. I wish I were one of those people who could say, “I’m looking for a church of 350-500, a certain type of music, a certain program of discipleship, a certain set of theology, a certain demographic, and looking for families like ours.” But I’m not that kind of person and this isn’t that simple.

    So, here’s the deal. We’ll visit a church at least two weeks in a row before deciding if its worth more of our investment or not. It’s simply not fair to judge anything on one shot. (Well, unless the vibe is bad. Then we may not stay beyond the cup of coffee.) We’ll play the role of visitors. We’ll fill out the cards, chat with the people welcome team, etc.

    How will we chose the churches to visit? The old fashioned way. We’ll ask some friends. We’ll search the web. We’ll drive around where we live. Stuff like that. But we’d be open to a church marketing to us. Want us to check you out and play secret shopper? Leave a comment or send me an email. Here’s a family of four looking for a place to not only attend, but contribute… come and get us! San Diego, East San Diego County, bring it.

    The non-negotiables… because we do have some standards.

    – We’re looking for a church that teaches the Biblical truth.

    – We’re looking for a church where kids are important.

    – We’re looking for a church that expects us to jump in and get involved but will be patient enough to let us settle in.

    – We’re looking for a church that is practically passionate about reaching the community we live in.

    – We’re looking for a church that values its people, all of ’em.

    Other than that, we are open. It can be an old church or a church plant. A big church or a little one. One that has a pretty white steeple or meets in a store front. A church that is huggy… uh, better skip the huggy ones. Fast and loud music or soft and boring.

    Last Sunday during the service I looked at Kristen and said, “I’m ready for the next step.” She nodded in agreement. As much as we loved our time in Romeo, it is time.

  • Music Wars Rage!

    pump organ | instrument of the devil

    For as long as I’ve been going to church I’ve had to hear about “music wars” in the church. Contemporary music was never an issue for me as I hated the music at the old Presbyterian church I went to from 5th grade through 10th grade. Seriously, half of the words in the hymns meant nothing to me. It was just music to be sung. (Nothing against the music director, who is still there!) Later in high school I went to a church which sung more contemporary hymns and some praise music… and the terms “worship” and “music” finally connected to my emotions. 

    There is a great post about music wars by Dan Kimball on his blog. He writes, “It is fascinating how our own personal choices and preferences dictates what we feel is appropriate worship or not.” Certainly at Romeo that was a word I learned to hate… “appropriate.” In my eyes, if it was meant or used to honor and/or worship God’s name it was appropriate!

    He also illustrates the churches most controversial instrument, the organ! It seems the standby of worship we all grew up with was once battled over in a music war of its own. 

    Also included in this excellent reflection on hymn favorites. Check out what was said about the hymn, “What a Friend I’ve Found in Jesus.” This letter comes from 1890.

    “What is wrong with the inspiring hymns with which we grew up? When I go to church, it is to worship God, not to be distracted with learning a new hymn.  Last Sunday’s was particularly unnerving.  The tune was un-singable and the new harmonies were quite distorting.“

    Check out the rest of his post, it’s intriguing and centering on the core of the music war issue.

  • Sushi

    I’ve been feeling introspective lately. What does this mean? Why do I do that? The questions go on and on. And I’m pretty sure it has everything to do with not being a full time pastor anymore. I can feel myself wondering, “Who are you anyway?” 

    Whereas a few weeks ago I was all wrapped up in being a pastor. Right now I am all wrapped up in not being a pastor. That doesn’t mean I’ve flown off the handle or somehow decided to be a different person. It’s just that my mind is consumed with slightly different things this morning than I’m used to. 

    For instance. On a typical Sunday morning at 9:00 AM I’d be directing people, the band and the tech team, greeting folks, making sure that everyone was in their right places, and giving last minute reminders to other people who might be going to the front. Today it is 9:00 AM and my family isn’t ready for church. We’re clearly not going to make it to the first service and we’re settling into the fact that we will head to the in between time of church, hang with some friends, and meander into church. 

    On the one hand I miss the responsibilities, the fun, and the wonder of helping to “make church happen.” On the other, I’m really enjoying this time in my life when I’m not on a staff. It’s awesome to go to church without much to do other than go to church. It won’t be satisfying for very long but it is satisfying for now.

    It’s like sushi. There are parts of it that are yummy goodness and there are others that you just chew on and get past. 

  • No More Microscopes

    no more microscopesIt’s now been about 3 weeks since my tenure at Romeo ended. And I’m only now starting to realize something that really stunk. We lived under a microscope.

    Don’t get me wrong, it’s not just pastors and it’s not just in this small town. There are a lot of people in the public eye in their communities that suffer from this. And it’s not right.

    It happens so subtly that you barely notice it. And yet as the weight of prying eyes on myself and my family gradually releases we realize that we were surrounded by unrealistic expectations.

    I think there is a general fascination in our culture with people in the public arena. How many television programs daily broadcast the personal lives of “celebrities?” It really is a sick and demented segment of our society that does this to individuals and families.

    So let me speak on behalf of church staff everywhere. It’s perfectly acceptable to put your pastor under the microscope. It really is part of the job as you try to determine if that person is who they say they are. When we enter into public ministry we accept that responsibility that our every move can and will be scrutinized. But leave families out of it.

  • Money Saving Tips for NYWC

    We were thinking about something this morning. With all the talk about NYWC, I wonder how many people are realizing that they may still be able to go to the convention… but they may have to do things differently to afford it?

    Take it from someone like me… you can go to the convention really, really cheaply if you need to. In 2006 I did the whole thing for about the cost of a full price convention registration. Gas, registration, hotel, meals. Not bad!

    The result of this chat was this little video: