Dave (a TV channel in the UK) recently hired some historians to compile a list of the 10 Oldest Jokes recorded in human history. Here’s my favorite, I love “yo mama” jokes and this appears to be the earliest.
8. Augustus was touring his Empire and noticed a man in the crowd who bore a striking resemblance to himself. Intrigued he asked: “Was your mother at one time in service at the Palace?” “No your Highness,” he replied, “but my father was.” (Credited to the Emporer Augustus 63 BC – 29 AD)
Saturday is here. We were supposed to be doing the last day of our garage sale… but neither Kristen nor I felt it was worth it. So if you are looking for a couple of furniture items just drop by and ask, OK?
With the moving truck coming on Monday and serious loading beginning on Tuesday, I think the best description we have for what’s going on here is “preparing.” There isn’t a ton left to do, but there is still stuff to get done. Oh, and we have a showing at lunch time.
So, while I’m doing the Saturday thing… music is always going. Here are my next 10 tunes. As always this is completely random with ratings included.
#1 Viva la Vida by Coldplay *****
#2 Girls Just Wanna Have Fun by Cindi Lauper ****
#3 Hollywood by Collective Soul *****
#4 Busted by Vetiver ****
#5 Take Me by Vineyard Generation ****
#6 Can I Stay Here Forever by Starfield ***
#7 Sleep by Kimya Dawson *****
#8 Plain White Rapper by KJ-52 ****
#9 We All Want the Same Thing by Kevin Michael ****
#10 You Were Meant for Me by Jewel
Check out this quote.
Dear God,
I was a pastor for 23 years. It killed me. I am not sure I was every called to it. As you know, the overwhelming numbness finally caved in all around me. Now, I am on the outside of the church looking in and I don’t like what I see. Why do we have to be fake to be a Christian or part of a church? How did we buy the lie that showing up occasionally was the same as a relationship with you? Now that I am not a pastor, people are honest with me. I had no idea how hard life was for so many people because when they came on my “turf” they pretended just as much as I did. I feel hope inside God. Now, without the job I feel like you let me go through everything to understand pain. I want to do what I can, but I feel like a failure every day. Can you still use me? link
While I can’t identify with the feeling far from God or having felt fake with God while serving at a church, I can definitely tell that people are more honest with me about their lives now that I don’t work at a church full time. Why is that? Was there something in my title that made me someone you couldn’t speak openly with? Did you feel like I couldn’t help? Did you feel like I didn’t want to know? Were you trying to protect me? Do you think I’d judge you? Not love you? Tell others you were human? Were you looking for an escape when you were around me? Did I project myself as someone who couldn’t understand? Was I above your struggles? Was I intimidating? Was I uncaring? Was I too transparent? Not transparent enough?
The thing is, I’m not done being a church leader… at least I hope not. I just want to know.
HT to Andy
The last two days I’ve been in charge of the sale department for our garage sale. So while Kristen may have done the majority of the work, she simply has no ability/desire to look at someone and say “I want $20 for that chair.” I think I was meant for a haggle-based society so it’s fun for me.
A couple observations about garage sales.
#1 You want to attract the early morning garage sale customers. They are great! Not only do they come ready to buy, they are polite and fun to talk to.
#2 If someone says “I am going to tell my daughter about that, I’ll be back” it probably means they are not coming back.
#3 Don’t hold anything until someone has paid. We made that mistake with a bed frame… several others wanted it and that person never came to get it.
#4 It’s perfectly acceptable to pull into my driveway, look at things and then drive away. Apparently, it is just as acceptable to pull up and ask for directions to other garage sales.
#5 Traffic drops off sharply after noon. And the people who come after 1:30 PM can be downright mean. Not everyone, but some people cussed at us when we wouldn’t give them $20 items for $2.
#6 Expect to chat with neighbors. That’s the best part of a garage sale! We spoke to tons of people over the last two days and it was really encouraging. I had a great conversation with Les Young about why he’s running for Bruce Township Supervisor. He’s got some great ideas that earned my vote on Tuesday. (Also planning to support Jeanie Lerchen, in case you were interested.)
#7 Smile and be patient. Just like traveling overseas… a smile and a patient attitude will get you all you need.
#1 Goodbye Creepy Guy (here’s why)
#2 Shutting Down Missingmoney.com
#3 3 Lies of Church Growth Experts
#4 $200 Asterisk for the iPhone 3G
#5 Vision, Goal, and Mission Statements
The power of google. That’s why most of those top 5 are there. People are searching for something that brings them here…. welcome! And it’s also worth noting that you’ve helped me get one of the highest vote tally’s at this contest. Thanks for reading this month. I can’t wait to journey the next 30 days of my life. It’s gonna be great.
The last 24 hours has been interesting. These are the two operative phrases from various arenas of my life right now.
Every once in a while I come up with an idea that is crazy enough to try. This is one of those.
On August 10th, Megan and I will push Stoney (our yellow lab) into the car and leave on a 2500 mile adventure. Together, we will travel through 10 states between Romeo and San Diego. As Megan told me, “This is the adventure of a lifetime.”
You’re nuts! I know, it’s completely insane to travel for four long days with a 7 year old and my dog. But let’s be honest, how often in life do you have the opportunity to share an adventure with your kid? Never!
The cool part? This is a participatory event. You want to meet up with us? Send me an email at mclanea@gmail.com and I’ll add you to the list. (If I can fit it in.) Of course, being that we are total tech heads, this will be a very well documented trip. We’ll blog, twitter, twitpic, and other “tech stuff” all the way across the country. Expect regular video updates too! I hope to meet all sorts of friends, including crashing at their pads, all the way from
Don’t follow me on twitter? This is a great time to jump in and follow me. Tune in here on the website for all the latest.
