In golfing news, I had the best 9 holes of the year today. My front 9 were borderline infuriating. I had a couple of great tee shots… Started to get things rolling and then WHAM I would tee the ball dead left again. I thought I was past that? It happened on 4 and 7. 4th hole I got lucky and sssshhhh I played it from OB and managed a bogey. On 7 I slammed it straight left and smacked a tree (knocking down a huge limb!) and it bounced back out onto the ladies tee box. I still managed a bogie because of my nice 2nd shot. then somehow I managed a birdie on 9 and almost walked it in. Anyway, I started on the back and kind of got lost in the round. Hit a shot. Walk it up. Hit the putt. Keep on going. When I got to the 16th tee I realized I was even par. I promptly hooked it left off the tee. When I went to look for my ball I was happy to find it just short of the hazard so I could get it out. With about 90 yards left I busted it to about 10 feet and somehow made the putt. Then I also birdied 17 and just missed a putt on 18 for a 34. Also in golf news, I picked up the new 51 degree Cleveland wedge. I got the gun metal finish since I’m so sensitive about glare. (Yeah right.) On the 10th hole I saw it’s tendency to back up for the first time. I was at 110 yards and I was just waiting for this chance to try the new club. So I hit it really well and just right on the pin. I thought I was pin high with a birdie putt. Instead, when I walked around the pond the ball was on the very bottom of the green. I could see clearly the dew outline as it hit, took a big hop and then trailed about 35 feet to the fringe. Then I hit it again off the tee at 15. I hit it about 30 feet past and watched it scoot back to about 6 feet. Unbelievable!

I could not believe the pictures I saw on Fox News this morning. I had a feeling that the storm was terrible and that it would be hitting Mickey Mouse about midnight… but I had no idea how bad it was. us Midwesterners are at a real disadvantage. When I lived in Horrorville, CA we had the leftovers of a tropical storm one week and I thought the house would blow over with sustained 40 mph winds. I can only imagine what the houses must have felt like with 85-100 mph winds.

There may even be a relief effort under way with YS forums geeks like me.

It has yet to be seen if we are really needed or not. Also unknown on that possibility is if the deacons would allow it. Then I’d have to wiggle out of golf practice for a week, get out of my thing with Grace Centers of Hope golf fundraiser, get out of the water fight at LF this week (OH, twist my arm!) and also still maintain my marriage. So it looks like that is a long shot. That is unless I am really needed. Because if I am really needed by a brother, than I will drop everything and go. Because that’s what you do for people. I could and would make it all happen if there really was something I needed to do.

A few days ago I wrote about being stressed out with bills and my inability to balance the household budget. Well, t hat was a few days ago and I’ve calmed down a bit. Things seem a little more under control right now than they did “way back then.” Some of this has to do with lots of new expenses like graduate school and mechanic pre-school as well as our current backlog of things to do but not right away like new glasses, car maintenance issues and maybe even getting a new vehicle to the family arsenal. Long story short is that after getting paid… I feel a lot better about everything.

In golf news, I am hitting the ball very well. Yesterday I was in charge of golf practice since we had a varsity tournament elsewhere and the other assistant had some personal business going on. Despite the whining I had to deal with of playing Romeo’s North back nine, everything went fine. This was my first time playing with our new batch of freshmen. All in all I was impressed by their patience. They do not hit the ball well at all. I would categorize their game with one word: Awful So I had resolved to play 10-13 with them so that they could see that I knew the game and I could start to give them some pointers. As I was being overly nice and complementary towards them, my round started off terribly with a double bogey on the easy par 3 10th hole. On 11 I drove the ball very long down the right and was unlucky to hit a tree and bounce out into the 3rd holes rough. This left me with a very poor position for my 2nd shot on the par 5. But I felt pretty good about punching out through the trees and did so with ease. My approach trickled off the back to about 15 feet from the cup and I easily got up and down for a par. So, 2 over after 2 holes was a bit annoying when I was approaching the 12th tee. As the freshmen took their time I walked up and blasted my tee shot down the fairway about 310 yards. The 4 of the were impressed that I hit it that far and then they proceeded to hit it about half that. I think one student had already hit his ball 4 times to get to mine and it took about 10 minutes to get everyone up to my drive. I was sitting about 240 yards short of the green with a little wind in my face. But since I was in the fairway and there wasn’t anything to lose, I decided to pull the 3 wood and give it a go. Normally, I would have hit a 6 iron to about 130 yards for an easy par… But what the heck. So I lined up and swung nice and easy. As I released the ball I could feel that I made solid contact and was happy to see it floating down my target line perfectly. One freshmen said shortly after I hit it, “man, you hit that right at it.” But I was convinced that it was short of the green so when they asked if I was on the green I just assumed I had come up short. Well, lo and behold I had nearly holed it out for an albatross! It was about 3 feet below the hole and I easily tapped in for an eagle. That was my first one of those is a little while.

Later in the day I had agreed to play with a guy from the church who I knew was awful. He lived up to the billing easily. It was only his 3rd round of golf and with that in mind, he didn’t do a bad job. Mechanically, he’s not bad. He just needs to work on it some more and put some of the tips I gave him into practice on the range. He’s one of those guys that could easily break 100 with a little concentration and some practice. For a beginner I was really impressed that he didn’t get embarrassed or frustrated too much when he made bad shots. He also had a fantastic drive and 2nd shot on the last hole to finish with a putt for par. (He 3 putted for double bogey) As for me, I continued to hit the ball very well and even drove the first green. This was the 2nd time I had done something jaw dropping in a day! More impressive to me was that I was able to control the ball very well. Even when I got into trouble I was able to make adequate recovery shots and left myself with a birdie or par putt on every hole.

You know, in the last 10 months since Mike left me, I’ve never heard that so much. It usually is strongest around the time that I do something that everyone likes.

Person: Oh Adam, we just loved your sermon last week.

Adam: Oh, well thank you. [secretly knowing to himself that he just reworked/rewrote/added to an old sermon from Spurgeon or maybe a chapter from a book I like]

Person: Yeah, it was really interesting and you really kept my attention.

Adam: Well, I don’t know what that means, but thanks again.

Person: Say, have you ever thought of being a real pastor.

Adam: Well, I know what you are saying [biting my tongue so I don’t say anything stupid] but I am really happy with what I am doing now.

Person: Yeah, but I mean later on… when you’ve done this a few years… are you going to be a pastor?

Adam: I really feel like what I am doing now is the best way for me to reach lost people. I plan on doing this forever. I know guys in their 50s-60s that still work with the youth. It’s what I plan to do forever.

Person: Oh… so you don’t want to be our senior pastor?

Adam: It’s not like that. It’s just that I’m really happy with what I do.

I swear, I have that conversation 3 times a week. And you know what. It’s getting to the point where it’s a little uncomfortable. For the first time in a long, long time I am at a position where everything is going my way and Kris and I love it here, we love the students and aren’t even passively looking or listening to other church… and it seems like people are just desperate to get me somewhere I don’t feel called to be. How can something be both flattering and frustrating at the same time? It’s an oxymoron. It’s getting on my freakin’ nerves.

The vent part in my mind goes like this. Let’s change professions to teaching. If I was a really good teacher, how many times would a parent go up to a favorite teacher and say “when are you going to become a professor or the principal?” It would be rare. It’s understood that a teacher is in a profession and that a teacher can pursue becoming the best teacher in the world and still not be constantly hounded about being a principal.. but a youth pastor is expected to become a senior pastor simply by being there are being good at what he does? I don’t get it.

After 3 days of golf, we have made our team cuts. As the freshmen coach for the last two years, I can officially predict a talent slump on the varsity level beginning next year. (We’re fine for this year and I expect us to be back at the state finals.) This years sophomores and this years freshmen are all just so-so. We will be working our hides off all year to see if we can 2 freshmen under 50 for a match. Heck, I’d even be happy with a couple of 40s scores for a practice.

This years crop of frosh are very, very weak. Of the 8 players that came out only 1-2 were worth keeping. However, after a lot of discussion amongst the coaches we decided to bring on 5 of them “as projects.” The five that were chosen have little real talent and are mediocre potential starters at best in 3 years. However, since there is such an unknown for the future we felt like it would be better to have a larger pool versus a very small pool in the coming years. (Freshmen that get cut rarely come back their sophomore year.)

A couple of funny things worth remembering. Yesterday we had the first group of freshmen on the 17th hole. A leftie somehow hit his 2nd shot dead left. He ended up nearly out of bounds on the 16th rough. He and I went over to look for his ball and when we got there he quickly surmised that he had zero shot of finishing this hole in under the 10 stroke limit. He looks at me and says, “so what should I do?” I said, “well, the fairway is back on the other side of these trees, the only thing you can do is go over them.” His eyes got like saucers. I had my lob wedge and said… “do you want me to show you what I mean?” Then I dropped a ball I had in the cart and pounded it about 120 yards over the big tree line and back into the fairway. Then I said “your turn.” Well, he chunked it about 25 yards into the woods and had to pick up. I have never, ever seen anyone go that far left on that hole and I hope it is not a premonition of the future.

It doesn’t matter what we do, there is always one time during the year that all of our money gets drained. Perhaps no previous year has been quite as much a squeeze as this year. I take that back. Summer of 1998 was worse than this. In that summer we actually had to get a payday loan to pay some bills. I easily could have asked someone for a loan, but it was much more manly to pay someone $50 for a $200 loan for 2 weeks.

This summer it has gotten so fierce that I am actually stressing about it. Our once impregnable balance in savings is uncomfortably low. Larry Burkett instructs people to have 3-6 months of soft cash for things that come up like automobile expenses, medical bills or a lose of job. If I lost my job now I may have a months worth of savings. It is scary.

It seems that everywhere I turn right now I am spending loads of money. Babysitters. Cell phones. Grad school bills. Preschool bills. Medical bills. Clothing bills. Enormous grocery bills. You name it, and I am writing a check for it right now. I’ve actually had to drop a class this fall for lack of funds. It just wasn’t fair to the whole family to pay that much more at the expense of things we need. I committed to not mortgaging my future on today’s expenses, and sometimes I have to make a hard call and walk away from an aggressive school schedule.

The funny thing is that each year during this “cash crunch” I promise to myself that next year will be different. I know that for the next 5-6 months I will do better. I will save. I will be frugal. By next spring I will feel like I have cash flowing from my ears. I will start to get paychecks and laugh to myself since I know that I haven’t spent a dime of the previous check yet. However, instead of being wise and sitting on that nest egg, or converting it into an account that is nearly untouchable we end up spending it on something less valuable… Like stuff.

It seems like I haven’t said much about golf lately. There is now only a few days until the high school season kicks off. For this, I am genuinely excited. Just like last year, we should have a strong team. Plus, knowing what to expect will make what I do a lot easier. Rich told me that there will be about 30-40 guys trying out for only 16-18 spots. So next weeks try-outs should be drama filled. I know there will be some sophomores and juniors who will get cut if they don’t show up and play their best.

Hit a beautiful shot yesterday. I told the story like this “somewhere else.”

My drive on the par 4 8th hole ended up hitting a cart path and “in the stuff”

between the red and white tees of the 9th hole. (This is what happens when you

try to place your slice!) I had to hit a completely blind shot from +/- 140

yards over a very thick bunch of trees about 75 ft tall with a downhill sideways

lie in about 4-6 inches of weeds. I pulled my 9 iron and guessed the outline of

the green. Though I hit it solid, it wasn’t a clean hit and it barely got high

enough and I wasn’t sure if cleared the trees. When I got to the other side I

was dumbfounded to see it about 15 feet below the hole. I had even left myself

with an uphill putt! I made a 2 putt par. Absolutely incredible.

In other news. While it is absolutely pouring today, the grand hope is that all this rain will knock the humidity down so that it will be pleasant enough to play more than 9 holes. We shall see.

Yesterday was a cool experience. A few days ago I posted my message for Sunday mornings worship service. Doing “the sermon” is not something I enjoy since it is beyond my training and fills me with incredible feelings of unworthiness and angst. I suppose I am so worried that I’m going to say something stupid and people are going to be made aware of the affect that I’m not too bright and then after the service they will meet and decide to fire me. So maybe I just don’t like to do the sermon since I don’t want to end up working at Taco Bell. “Would you like any hot sauce?”

At any rate, enough about my feelings. The message that I shared was not only well received with “that was a real good job, thank you,”instead, there was a very nice response to my challenge and a lot of people came forward with their commitment. That was very encouraging that they “got it.” And I definitely feel this is an area of our church family we need to work on. I long to see our church family be one that approached ministry together with an eye of “what’s in it for us” as opposed to “what’s in it for me?”

The “bad news” is that I have a feeling I will be asked to do that again next time Bob goes out of town.

You guessed it. At work on Saturday. Story of my life. It’s like this:

Me: So you work on your own a lot?

The other me: Yep, sure do. Make my own hours.

Me: Yeah, I work too much.

The other me: But you’rel ike your own boss and everything… so who’s fault

is it that you have to work today?

Me: Shut up.

That’s the dialogue in my brain lately. But in all seriousness, life is

great. I couldn’t be happier with how everything is going. I will readily admit

that it will be great relief when VBS is over and the students go back to

school… but until then I am just trying to enjoy the constant distration.

[note: this is my talk for Sunday am church this week. While this is the original script, this is no where near what the final version will be. Please look at this as a draft for writing purposes.]

A bad case of Me-itis

“Where do you think all these appalling wars and quarrels come from? Do you think they just happen? Think again. They come about because you want your own way, and fight for it deep inside yourselves.” (James 4:1-2, The Message)

James takes out his hammer and hits it right on the head, doesn’t he?

There is a notion in our brains that everything we do is really about us. Since we were infants we’ve learned to identify everything we see and hear to ourselves and how that relates to our agenda. “What do I want?” “What’s in it for me” “How can you help me?” Think about it. We live in a very selfish, me first society that gives you full liberty and even encouragement to do whatever you think is right. It’s everywhere to the music we hum along with in the car to the commercials we watch on television. “Don’t you want to look like this?” “Don’t you deserve this kind of car?” “Are you ready for the washing machine that gives you more time?” It’s so prevalent, even in the church, that we don’t recognize it for what it is… selfishness. But James, under the guidance and inspiration of the Holy Spirit says to us… believers in Jesus Christ, “You think it’s all about you? Think again.”

I’d like for you to take a moment to envision a conflict that you’ve been in recently. (Close eyes and relive it)

Think back to yourself. Was this a conflict that was about something really important or was it a case like James was talking about? Did you just want to be right? Sadly all of us, at one point or another have suffered from a bad case of Me-itis. Me-itis is a disease that chokes you spiritually. It is a sin that causes us to forget that we are not God. We give ourselves to Me-itis because we want to call the shots. We want to be important. We want to see our value and we want to be right. The disease convinces us that the earth’s access and rotation completely depends on what we want. It is a disease that eats you alive from the inside out. It will suck away pleasure and joy in your walk with the Lord and leave you lying on the side of the road… near death.

Of course, it won’t be too long before a person who wears the slogan “It’s all about me” on their sleeve bumps into another person who feels the same way. These are the conflicts James writes about. It’s quarrels and wars.

A look at conflicts

I will tell you straight up that I am not the best person to talk about selfishness and conflicts. As my mom reminds me all the time, there was a time when I was affectionately referred to as “Adamant Adam.” Now that I think of it, maybe I’m the perfect person to talk about this since I will readily admit that I have a lot to learn. So, just to illustrate a case of Me-itis in the every day world… let’s use conflict or arguing as an example.

The problem: A conflict arises! Both parties fight to win. (Christians argue so politely don’t they?)

The result: Relationships are damaged. Feelings are hurt.

Fake solution for temporary resolution: Blame on circumstance or others. It’s not my fault! It’s got to be….

Real solution for permanent resolution: Put the interest of others ahead of your own.

Overcoming selfishness

For those of you that are here and aren’t too sure that what I am saying is true or possible I have some reassuring news for you. There is a way that you can overcome selfishness. I guarantee it.

My proposition to you today is this: You can overcome selfishness by putting others first.

Let’s take a look at Philippians 2. Paul wrote this letter to the church in Philippi about 30 years after Jesus’ resurrection. This is one of the few times that Paul wrote a letter, not really to correct a problem, and really not even to respond to specific questions that the church had… instead Paul essentially wrote the letter as a thank you gift for a generous gift. Paul had 3 main purposes for the letter:

To thank them for their gift

To instruct them to unity

To encourage joyfulness in the Christian life

So in turning to Philippians 2:3 we see Paul begin to instruct the church family on how to live together is way pleasing to God. Read along with me as I read:

“3Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. 4Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others. 5Your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus:”

Principles for living an others first lifestyle

These verses challenge us with 4 overlapping commands. A careful look at each of them reveals both the root cause of the “ME FIRST” orientation as well as some help for overcoming them.

Don’t allow ambition or conceit to drive your decision.

What is vain conceit?

i. It’s the false belief that you are so special and so unique that you deserve special treatment.

What is selfish ambition?

i. It’s simply going for something that’s only going to benefit you. Putting the needs and desires of everyone else in jeopardy so that you can get what you want.

Paul says, don’t let those things drive your decisions. A couple of years ago I was sitting in a board room with a bunch of other mid-level supervisors listening to the company trainer give us the company lines about how we should implement this new program of cutting back on overtime. After about 2 hours of mind-numbing PowerPoint presentations the trainer put up a slide that said “WIFM?” I think of the 30-40 people in the room I was the only person who was paying attention and trying to take notes. Then the trainer said “So, I’ve just explained to you why we need to do this as a company. Now let me introduce you to a new motivational tool we’re trying. It’s called What’s In It For Me? That’s right, we know that none of you want to go back to your departments and start implementing this new policy. We know your employees are going to complain because you are hitting them with a reduction in overtime. So we’ve decided to give you a little incentive. For every 10% of overtime you cut from your group, we’ll give you a 2% raise.” Let me tell you, every eye was on this trainer and everyone was taking notes. Why? Because this woman had tapped into everyone’s selfish ambition!

Treat others as more important than yourself.

Imagine that you’ve just gotten word that your favorite musician or the president or a famous actor or some sports hero were coming to your house for dinner. Paul is saying that we should treat everyone the way we would treat that kind of a special guest.

Note that the passage didn’t say “they are more important than yourself’ instead it says treat others as if they were better than you.

Parents, I want you to understand that this passage is not superceding other passages about your role as a parent. The children that God has given you are supposed to be subservient to you. I see so many families that are ruining this principle because they are treating their kids as little gods. They are literally worshipping at the altar of their kids. You are not doing them any favors by allowing them to dictate your lives with their self-interests. Be careful to not model selfishness by placating their every want and desire.

Look out for the interest of others

Simply put, don’t be consumed by your own self-interests

Take an interest in the things that interest others.

i. Example of Jessica Potes hunting with Jon

Follow Christ’s example of humility

Paul reminds us that Jesus gave up so much in order to make himself nothing… for us!

Don’t fall into the trap of thinking that a person has to be worthy enough for you to put them before you.

i. If you saw how that person treated me…

ii. My dad never had time for me as a kid, why should I…

iii. Nobody seems to care about my feelings, why should I care for theirs?

iv. They don’t respect me, so why should I do…

Paul anticipated this instinct in each of us and supports his teaching by pointing to the supreme example of selflessness.

Paul challenges us to be like Christ

i. How did Jesus treat others?

– He constantly treated others as more important than himself

– He consistently served people

– He never allowed rejection or hatred to dilute His love for them

– Think about it, the Creator subjected Himself to His own creation.

It’s Has to Be Supernatural

We looked at these commands and if you are like me you are saying… “Great Paul, I like it… but how do I actually do it?”

So let me take some time now to help you take these timeless principles from God’s word and put them directly into your lives.

First of all, you have to know and acknowledge that you are powerless. What do I mean by that? We are, by very nature as humans, selfish and conceited. How do I know that? If I were to create a machine that could create a recording of the “self talk” that goes on inside each of us… we would all be completely humiliated. On the outside we may look perfectly normal, friendly, outgoing, well meaning, yet on the inside we have a natural tendency to sit there and think only of ourselves. We have to admit to ourselves that we are completely self-absorbed.

Have you ever read a blog? If you’ve ever had a doubt that everyone is as self-consumed and selfish as you are… spend an hour reading people’s journals at a blog website. If you do it, get prepared to be depressed and see tons of stories from only one side on an argument!

So, if we’re going to overcome selfishness, we need to ask God for help!

Next, remember that we are selfish by training, repetition, practice and years of positive reinforcement. Again, to overcome this we are going to have to ask for Supernatural power.

We are going to have to ask the Lord for a servant’s attitude and constantly pointing ourselves back to Jesus as our example. Let his priorities become your priorities.

So let me leave you with some challenges for beginning an others first lifestyle.

– Is your schedule more important than serving others?

– Is your position among co-workers/peers more valuable than serving others?

– Is your pride/ego keeping you from stooping to serve?

The Bible says that Jesus “made himself nothing” are you willing to make yourself nothing?

– By nothing, we don’t mean worthless

– To the contrary- your worth stops being about you and your gain and starts being “my life’s worth is in others.”

– Living your life as a servant to others means that you become something in God’s eyes by humbly considering the needs of others. As a famous youth speaker likes to say, “God’s name is I AM and you’re name is I AM NOT.”

Light Force Plug

In our youth group we’ve set off down the path of loving God and loving others. These are our priorities.

The difference between those being our priorities and these being priorities that drive us is that we are taking the time to say “How can we love God? How can we love people?”

The answer to those questions is terribly tough, isn’t it. You see, in order to love others we must serve them. How can we treat them as guests in a way to make them feel welcomed and loved? How can we love God in a way that is outside of ourselves and not about us? You see, the same truth that is true for you if you are in 7-12 grade is true for you no matter what age you are. God clearly instructs his people that our value in His eyes comes from the value we put into others.

Closing ceremony

As we prepare to close… I’d like each of you to take a few moments… in the quietness of the moment… I’d like for you to write down a specific person you feel led to apply these principles with. Maybe as I’ve been speaking the Spirit’s been leading you to think of this one person over and over again. I’d like you to write that name down now… no one else will know who it is. It’ll be between you and God. Maybe it’s an attitude you need to change about something. Write it down like this:

“Dear God, I want to obey your word and imitate Jesus by putting others first. Help me to serve _____ by ______. Amen”

In the next few minutes… as you finish with that… if you are serious about this commitment, please come forward and put it here on the altar. No one will ever know. What you put there as a promise stays between you and the Lord.

Deacons come forward. They will be here to pray for your needs…