• Proactive vs. Reactive

    The past year or so has taught me all new levels of being proactive that I’d never needed to be before. 

    • Shipping orders for our store, tracking packages, and making adjustments to our shipping rates to keep up with USPS.
    • Um, getting people to buy stuff from said store means that I have to order from the manufacturer, build their shipping costs into my costs, market the products, and a whole bunch more stuff.
    • Helping a wide variety of organizations with their web development needs has meant deeply listening to what they are asking for and proposing solutions they aren’t even imagining.
    • Not having a boss or board has meant that if I’m not on top of it, I’ll work 80 hours per week every week and never take a vacation.
    • Taxes. Oh for the love of all things, I have to track sales tax, city business tax, state & federal income tax, and social security tax. Most of them are due on the same days but you’ve got to watch it! One of the reasons I’m so shy about hiring someone right now is taxes!

    I won’t bore you with the details of all the things I need to stay on top of as a small business owner.

    The point is that when I’m proactive I catch things before they are problems. I discover opportunities I didn’t even know about. I catch mole hills before they are mountains.

    For me, I live in a weird space of half business and half ministry. It’s good business for me to keep on top of things and anticipate stuff to just keep a step ahead. But it’s also a good ministry practice.

    Proactive vs. Reactive

    I think a lot of ministry people get in trouble because they are in a reactive posture as opposed to a proactive one. They are a step-behind the needs of their congregation instead of leading them into a new future.

    A reactive posture is dealing with bad news when your people need good news from you.

    Never forget that people come to Jesus because they need Good News. Not just spiritual teaching, they need Jesus to be their provider, their rescuer, their day-to-day Savior, and their healer.

    And when you can help them be proactive about that? Solid gold.

  • Confession: I sprayed for bugs tonight

    After 3+ years of growing vegetables in our backyard I used my very first pesticide tonight. As I write this my arms arms are still burning from some of the toxic chemicals that must have gotten on my arms. OK, so that’s most likely psychosomatic, but I’m feeling burning and tingling.

    We panicked

    Last year we had a very successful spring but later lost most of our summer tomatoes to mites. It was a royal bummer and it put us in a bit of a gardening slump.  Back in 2010 we had a bumper crop. Literally, every day I picked 1-2 pounds of yellow cherry tomatoes. We had so many that I even began sun drying them on the patio. And 2011 started off the same way but slowly the mites won the battle and we lost all of our plants right in the middle of high-yield time. We set a record with 42 red tomatoes in one day and within 3 weeks had zero.

    So today, when Kristen sent me a text that she had found some mites on a plant and that they had done a great deal of damage to a specific plant, my instant response was to say “Let’s go to Home Depot tonight and spray them before sunset.” 

    Two hours later and we were wandering up and down the fertilizer and pesticide aisle. While we regularly use a mixture of our own compost, commercially available organic fertilizer, and fish meal we buy from our local nursery… we’d never bought a pesticide for the garden.

    It was crazy how fast we went from recognizing the problem, to buying a chemical, to actually spraying our garden.

    And we didn’t buy a soft little nice pesticide. We bought a mean one with red labels, an included electric sprayer, and we were careful to make sure it was designed to kill hundreds of special of pests.

    It took about 10 minutes. (Per the directions I will repeat it every 3 days for at least 2 more treatments.) And I felt that type of guilt one feels when you have to have a pet put to sleep. There’s no joy in it but you know it’s the right thing.

    Bug management

    For some reason the other 2 growing seasons in San Diego don’t trip us up. We grow big, healthy stuff in January and October. It’s not that we don’t have bugs then but it is that we don’t see them destroy everything in sight. But for some reason bugs are worse in summer and maybe we just needed to take this stand?

    Well, that’s the guilt talking. At least I’ll get to wash down that guilt with some fresh tomatoes soon.

  • So here’s the deal

    In the dog days of summer, Washington D.C. is in the hottest place on earth.

    This morning the Supreme Court issued their ruling upholding the major points of the Affordable Healthcare Act. (read the ruling, keep up with the New York Times live blog if your heart can handle it.)

    By the end of the day both sides will claim victory. Both presidential candidates will make statements. Polls will be taken. Extremists will parade in front of cameras.

    God bless America. (Said in a cynical tone.)

    Here’s the deal. This isn’t the America I want to live in. This isn’t the America I want my kids dreaming about. This isn’t the America I read about in history books and biographies. United we stand, divided we fall.

    Until we decide to unite, we are falling. It’s not the economies fault. It our fault. When we decide we, the people, will move forward. But right now we are stuck in inward-focused circles of bandaid application.

    That said, I’m thankful that the courts are stepping in, pulling away from the politics far enough to help us move forward. I actually see today as an amazing day for those with aspirational goals in the legal field. (With the Jerry Sandusky decision last week it’s been a very big 7 days for the courts.) I am intrigued that Bush’s choice for Chief Justice sided with more liberal appointees. I think it shows the strength of Bush’s choice.

    I’m tired of the divisions. I’ve got no pride or allegiance to a party. It’s not that I’m unwilling. It’s that I’m bored of it. Division doesn’t get me nearly as excited as forward progress.

    I’m not naive. I know politics are brutal. But I don’t think our future as a nation lies in having elected officials stand opposed on everything just for the sake of standing opposed to every view. In this case the irony is really delicious. Obama passed a version of Romney’s law. So Republicans loved it when the conservative governor passed the law in a liberal state. But when the President passed Romney’s law at the federal level it became a liberal against conservative thing. Romney, the original author of the bill, had to stand opposed to his own idea for the sake of winning his parties nomination.

    Republicans were for the Affordable Healthcare Act until Democrats were for it. Then they stumbled all over themselves throughout the primaries trying to convince everyone they were against it, and were always against it, even when they were for it in Massachusetts.

    That’s what I mean. We need to stop disagreeing simply  for the sake of disagreement. We, the people, aren’t stupid. We hold this truth to be self-evident: Politicians will say whatever it takes to get lobbyists to write them checks. 

    But this check of disagreement is being cashed by people like you and me. Both parties are guilty for the game is no longer Republicans vs. Democrats, but rich vs. poor. National politics has become the rich man’s WWE where both parties put on a show for the sake of getting the redneck’s inside the belt to write them checks.

    Again, this isn’t my dream for our country. This isn’t the dream I want my children to aspire to.

    I want my kids to see that two people who disagree can come together and make a joint decision for the good of others. Just like mom and dad make compromise after compromise for the sake of our family, I want them to know that compromise is a virtue.

    This carries over directly to our faith, doesn’t it? I love that my kids are growing up in a home where mom and dad try to hold loosely to their personal convictions for the sake of the body of Christ. How pathetic would the Gospel be if we only worshipped with people we got along with? How pathetic would it be to only hang out with, be influenced by, and study things from a single perspective. Yes, we are conservative evangelicals. That’s who we are. But we make the conscious, hopeful choice to identify ourselves with Christ more than we identify ourselves with a theological heritage.

    For the record: I’m in favor of a nationalized health care system. I’d like to see it illegal for drug companies to market to the public. And I  think all insurance companies should be not-for-profit, like the BlueCross system started as in the 1960s. So I’m not pumped about the decision today because I feel like it’s not the reform that is  truly needed.

    Photo credit: Tosh at SCOTUS by Mark Trimble via Flickr (Creative Commons)

  • What happens at camp doesn’t stay at camp

    Earlier this Spring I posted an infographic about the Power of Camp. I think this video from YouthDynamics illustrates the power of camp quite well. Personal challenges and personal encounters with Christ. That’s what it’s all about!

    The video captures my own experience as a youth pastor in getting teenagers out of their context. For them, it’s a big adventure which helps conquer fears and expose them to stuff they wouldn’t get at home. But it’s also an unparralled way for God to grab hold of students lives in new ways.

    While trips impact teenagers in different ways, each time I’ve taken students somewhere each of them is challenged in big, unique ways.

    Of course, I think it’d be great if you helped YD crush their modest fundraising goal of $5000, they are at $3500 and need just a little bit more by July 4th. I love that they’ve set it up so that even $20 makes a difference. Wouldn’t it be cool to help them raise $50,000? 

    Not familiar with YD? One thing I love about them is that they intentionally open ministry centers in small communities, underserved by local church youth ministry programs– they go places others won’t which displays their Kingdom heart.

    My bigger point is this: Build experiences that put your students outside of their native context. For YD it’s taking them into the wilderness. But for you it might mean taking small town teenager to a soup kitchen in a big city or comfortable suburban kids into the worker camps of Tijuana.

    Want to widen your impact? Widen your students world view to bigger things. 

  • Teenagers and the law

    Yesterday’s ruling by the Supreme Court included some important nuances on the legal understanding of teenagers, their standing in our country, and how the courts view their decision-making abilities.

    Whether you work with teenagers or have one at home– I’ve done my best to synthesize this nuance in both the argument and the opinion of the court. I’m highlighting in red negative words about teenagers abilities, highlighting in blue words which recognize teenage capabilities. That way you can see the dance the courts are making visually.

    The argument made to the Supreme Court

    To start with the first set of cases: Roper and Graham establish that children are constitutionally different from adults for purposes of sentencing. Because juveniles have diminished culpability and greater prospects for reform, we explained, “they are less deserving of the most severe punishments.” Graham, 560 U. S., at ___ (slip op., at 17). Those cases relied on three significant gaps between juveniles and adults. First, children have a “‘lack of maturity and an underdeveloped sense of responsibility,’” leading to recklessness, impulsivity, and heedless risk-taking. Roper, 543 U. S., at 569. Second, children “are more vulnerable . . . to negative influences and outside pressures,”including from their family and peers; they have limited“contro[l] over their own environment” and lack the ability to extricate themselves from horrific, crime-producing settings. Ibid. And third, a child’s character is not as “well formed” as an adult’s; his traits are “less fixed” and his actions less likely to be “evidence of irretrievable depravity.” Id., at 570. 

    Our decisions rested not only on common sense—on what “any parent knows”—but on science and social science as well. Id., at 569. In Roper, we cited studies showing that “‘[o]nly a relatively small proportion of adolescents’” who engage in illegal activity “‘develop entrenched patterns of problem behavior.’” Id., at 570 (quoting Steinberg & Scott, Less Guilty by Reason of Adolescence: Developmental Immaturity, Diminished Responsibility, and the Juvenile Death Penalty, 58 Am. Psychologist 1009, 1014 (2003)). And in Graham, we noted that “developments in psychology and brain science continue to show fundamental differences between juvenile and adult minds”—for example, in “parts of the brain involved in behavior control.” 560 U. S., at ___ (slip op., at 17).5 We reasoned that those findings—of transient rashness, proclivity for risk, and inability to assess consequences—both lessened a child’s “moral culpability” and enhanced the prospect that, as the years go by and neurological development occurs, his “‘deficiencies will be reformed.’” Id., at ___ (slip op., at 18) (quoting Roper, 543 U. S., at 570). 

    Roper and Graham emphasized that the distinctive at- tributes of youth diminish the penological justificationsfor imposing the harshest sentences on juvenile offenders, even when they commit terrible crimes. Because “‘[t]he heart of the retribution rationale’” relates to an offender’s blame worthiness, “‘the case for retribution is not as strong with a minor as with an adult.’” Graham, 560 U. S., at ___ (slip op., at 20–21) (quoting Tison v. Arizona, 481 U. S. 137, 149 (1987); Roper, 543 U. S., at 571). Nor can deterrence do the work in this context, because “‘the same characteristics that render juveniles less culpable than adults’”—their immaturity, recklessness, and impetuosity—make them less likely to consider potential punishment. Graham, 560 U. S., at ___ (slip op., at 21) (quoting Roper, 543 U. S., at 571). Similarly, incapacitation could not support the life-without-parole sentence in Graham: Deciding that a “juvenile offender forever will be a danger to society” would require “mak[ing] a judgment that [he] is incorrigible”—but “‘incorrigibility is inconsistent with youth.’” (pages 8-10)

    The courts ruling

    Although we do not foreclose a sentencer’s ability to make that judgment in homicide cases, we require it to take into account how children are different, and how those differences counsel against irrevocably sentencing them to a lifetime inprison. (page 17)

    Source

    This is from the Supreme Courts ruling on Miller vs. Alabama, a challenge to mandatory life sentences to juvenile murderers. In other words, judges can now take into account the circumstances of the individuals background, their mental ability to understand the crime, their ability to discontinue involvement in the crime, and family life.

    Obviously, I think this is good news for teenagers in general because the courts indicate that adults (and our laws) should not apply to teenagers in the same way, regardless of age.

    Why this matters

    1. GOOD The Supreme Court’s ruling indicates that maturity and cognitive ability to grasp the seriousness of risk is not fixed by age. All 17 year olds are not the same, all 14 year olds are not the same.
    2. GOOD The Supreme Court removes state laws mandatory sentencing for juvenile offenders, even in states where minors are tried as adults for serious felonies. This doesn’t say they can’t get life sentences but it does say that the courts are allowed to to examine the maturity level and family circumstances of individual offenders.
    3. GOOD While nuanced, the language of the majority opinion affirms the capabilities of teenagers. Justice Kagan makes a distinction between a juvenile raised in a stable home with one raised in a chaotic home. She also affirms that the mental capacity to understand cause and effect varies widely between a 14 year old and 17 year old. Did they have the ability to walk away before a crime was committed? Or were they able to grasp the risk to themselves prior to committing a crime? Those are questions of capability.
    4. GOOD The Supreme Court affirms that since a juvenile cannot legally defend themselves in the same way, because of their constitutional definition as a child, that it’s unfair to use the same sentencing guidelines as an adult defendant. That acknowledges the justice gap as its unfair to give someone a life sentence when they can’t properly defend themselves.

    What else do you see in the courts ruling yesterday that I’m missing?

    Photo credit: Charles Pence via Flickr (Creative Commons)

  • Until you get fired…

    … you won’t change. 

    … the pain of doing something outside the box outweighs the ease of trying to make the box you’re in prettier.

    … those sacred cows are worth feeding, watering, and printing new t-shirts for. 

    … it’s about the depth of your relationships and not numbers. 

    … you think you don’t have the power to do anything within your system.

    I get accused of stuff or labeled as stuff all the time. “Oh Adam, why do you keep saying stuff isn’t working?”

    Because it isn’t. Look at the numbers, gang. Youth ministries who are making a measurable difference regularly go back to the drawing board and are doing something deeply rooted in ethnographic study/research/innovation. Youth ministries who have been statistically flat for long periods of time typically only do minor tweaks year-to-year.

    But let me tell you this simple truth that I hear over-and-over-and-over again from people: It all changes as soon as you get fired. 

    I mean, “asked to resign.”

    It’s amazing how much clarity getting canned is for so many people. All of a sudden they get it. “I should have been doing things very differently.” Well, no duh. All of a sudden planning that mission trip for 14 students doesn’t seem like it was worth 300 hours of your time in research, preparation, fundraising, and travel, does it? All of a sudden, in the swirl of emotional fallout comes the realization that you could have, should have, and now have to live with the regret that you DIDN’T do a lot you could have done.

    Make today different. Don’t wait until you get fired to act. Today. Today. TODAY. 

    • Begin a process of smart, measurable, statistical analysis of your ministry. Get outside help if needed.
    • Begin a process where you do more than read blogs about culture, but do ethnography for yourself.
    • Begin a mindset that looks for solutions instead of a solution.
    • Begin a mindset that allows ministry to adolescents to go beyond things that you can directly oversee and participate in.
    • Allow yourself to re-think resource assessment to the assets of your community, not just stuff you have keys to in your pocket.

    There is unlimited talk in our world about the future of youth ministry. Let’s be reminded that in order for each of us to find that future in youth ministry we need to act now.

    Make today the day. Don’t get canned.  

  • Holy Crap.

    These are the words of Jake Bouma when his oncologist showed him evidence that his cancer has responded to 4 months of chemo.

    Holy crap indeed.

    Here’s what Jake meant:

    Holy = God is holy.

    Crap = Cancer sucks

    I don’t know if I shared quite the tears as Libby. But wow, this video touched me and sparked a thankfulness I can’t quite put to words to fully explain.

    Thank you for sharing it, Jake. We’re with you as the radiation begins soon.

  • My Sanctuary

    Ugh. Another parking ticket. I think I already had about 10 of them. While I never intended to pay them I was still embarrassed to get ticket after ticket for parking in the women’s basketball coaches spot. She never seemed to use it anyway and the walk from the visitors lot was long. Plus, tickets were for rich kids.

    I dropped the ticket on the ground and got back into my 1978 Ford LTD Station Wagon to begin the drive home.

    It was the Winter of 1994 and I was spending a lot of time in Notre Dame’s Hesburgh Library. You might know the building as Touchdown Jesus but I know the building as my sanctuary.

    My senior year of high school was complicated.

    While I did my best to maintain a front that everything was OK, everything wasn’t OK.

    After spending my junior year in Germany with my mom I moved in with my dad for my senior year.

    My hope was to move home and resume my life. My reality was that I’d exchanged one chaotic situation with my mom for an even more chaotic situation with my dad. While his marriage to my stepmom wouldn’t end for a couple more years the volcano of their relationship erupted over and over again. It was pretty rough. I moved in, then we moved out, then we moved back in– on and on this went. I think I moved in and out of that house 7 times in 10 months.

    When we were home I tried to avoid being there as much as possible. And when we lived with grandma I tried to stay out until after she went to bed. I spent as much time as I could at school. But eventually the janitors would ask me to leave and I’d have to go somewhere else.

    Hesburgh Library was on my way home from school. It was both a logical and welcoming place for me to hang out. While I wasn’t a student no one ever asked me if I belonged. As long as I was quiet, doing homework, and didn’t break rules I knew no one would complain. I was good at blending in, knew enough about Notre Dame to fake it if I got into a conversation, and knew they weren’t going to put me in Leprechaun Jail if I got caught.

    So I’d disappear for hours into the stacks to read, research, dream, nap, and explore.

    To graduate I needed to pass gym. So I had little homework. But that didn’t mean I wasn’t learning. I’d grab a novel off the shelf or dig into an autobiography of someone I’d never heard of. They’d refer to a piece of history I wasn’t familiar with so I’d head over to the microfilm and read the New York Times from those days to find out what the author was referring to. Anything to pass the time.

    As the weeks went by I got lost in reading newspapers from the Great Depression. Over time I got pretty good at finding stuff and operating the microfilm… and then I started helping the librarian show students how to find what they were looking for. And that lead to even more time in the library “studying.” (This was a great way to meet female students, by the way.)

    At a time in my life when I didn’t feel welcome at home– or really even have a home to feel welcome in– I felt welcome in the library. More than a place I trespassed at or occasionally got a parking ticket for squatting on the women’s basketball coaches parking spot, it was a sanctuary of comfort and predictability that I desperately needed.

    Do you work with teenagers? Help them find their place of sanctuary. Don’t ever assume that because they look OK or aren’t saying they aren’t OK that everything is fine. Sometimes the best thing you can do isn’t talk… it’s help them find a place where they can just be.

  • Adam + Kristen = 15 Years

    On June 21st, 1997 Kristen and I tied the knot. 

    We took vows.

    We made promises.

    We smiled for pictures.

    We ate some food.

    And we began a our life together. 

    Fifteen years later we are still holding vows, keeping promises, smiling for pictures, eating some food, and loving life together. I can’t imagine life any other way. 

  • Belonginger

    This is the role of the youth worker. 

    Adolescence is full of isolation. Many teenagers struggle to see the world from anyone’s perspective other than their own. While in adulthood we have learned to “look at things from the other persons perspective” many early to middle adolescents just haven’t fine tuned that skill.

    That’s why when something relatively minor happens, say they get a pimple on the end of their nose or they trip on a curb and fall in front of their friends, can be so devastating. Since they only see things from their perspective they don’t notice that their friends also have pimply noses so it must be no big deal or that everyone falls sometimes and it’s just because their body is growing so fast.

    The net result is that many students struggle to find a place where they fit in, that is safe, and where they can stop worrying about being accepted and rest knowing they are.

    A great youth worker is great at making everyone around them feel like they belong. When I think back to my first exposure to youth group in 1992 I left after 1 night feeling like I belonged. I had been around church for 5+ years and never felt as welcome as that place made me feel in 2 hours.

    Here are 3 Rules of a Great Belonginger

    1. Create space that is emotionally and physically safe. I’ve visited youth groups that were like vipers pits. Cutting remarks went unchecked, body language communicates unwelcomeness, and adults more focused on their task than their ministry. But create an emotionally and physically safe place for teenagers? You do that and you’ll be a magnet.
    2. Create a place where everyone is heard and has a voice. Think about a students interaction with typical adults. It rarely involves actual conversation. And it very rarely gets past hearing to listening. Do that and you’ve helped students realize they can be a part of something bigger than themselves.
    3. Creates a vibe where everyone is in on the joke. Great friendships are full of inside jokes and have a relational ecosystem all their own. The task here is to create simple, fast ways where visitors feel like insiders instantly.