Tag: happiness

  • Are you willing to love your life?

    I’ve gotten a fresh round of criticism lately and most of it flows back to a single source: There are people so grumpy that it annoys them that I am happy.

    It’s as if we’ve grown so accustomed to whining about everything that we now have decided to whine about people who aren’t whining.

    Maybe our entire country is depressed?

    People seem pessimistic that optimism is even possible.

    Beyond Content

    I love my life. And I’m not afraid to state it.

    Critics– Go buy some cotton candy and watch kids on the merry-go-round for an hour.

    2009 sucked in many ways but galvanized one important thing: I am comfortable with who God has made me to be, come what may.

    And in releasing that anxiety God rewarded my life with a flood of blessing.

    Why am I happy? I’m challenged in new ways all the time. And I love that. I’m learning all the time. And I love that. I am doing things that matter. And I love that.

    My bills are paid. My kids are safe. Our family is growing. I take joy in the simple things. I take joy in being charitable with my time and treasures. I stop and smell the roses. I have many things in my life I could complain about but I simply chose not to.

    Find someone to high five and give them one! Glory to God!

    And yet I know it bugs people to say that I’m happy. In some Christian circles happiness really isn’t allowed… only contentedness. If you are too happy that is somehow sinful. This reminds me of the Puritans, who forbade comfortable furniture because being too comfortable or sleeping too well would somehow lead you to sin.

    Happiness is not bad. Jesus’ sermon on the mount contained something we call the beatitudes. This was a list of counter-culture things that should make us happy! (Read Matthew 5) Blessed is just a fancy way of saying, “Happy.” Reread the beatitudes and insert that word. It’ll rock your world.

    See, happiness is an attitude I chose. It comes from within and not from circumstances. It’s why I can walk around a tent city in Port-au-Prince and meet widows who tell me, “I don’t have anything but I am happy. In Christ, I have everything I could ever need.”

    Say it with me, “I love my life.”

    I’ve met too many church staff members this year who have chosen dissatisfaction as their attitude. It’s as if nothing short of being the most famous person in the world. Loving God and serving his people in their town just isn’t satisfying. We sit down and they list 25 things that are going great in their ministry. But that one thing drives them to dissatisfaction and bitters their whole life.

    You can smell it on them. Literally, it is a stench of dissatisfaction. It’s hard to be around.

    My advice? Chose a new attitude today. Join me in choosing happiness.

    Write it down. Declare it to some people. Make today the day you chose happiness.

    Actually say it out loud, right now. “I love my life.”

    Maybe it’s the first time you’ve ever said that out loud. Practice it a few more times… “I love my life.” Say it again and again until it feels natural.

    Kind of freeing, isn’t it? Go ahead, text it to your spouse right now. “Baby, I love our life.”

    Happiness comes from within. It is absent from circumstances. A happy person is happy because they’ve chosen to be happy. And choosing to be happy can be one of the most powerful, life-changing things you could ever do.

    Go and tell

    Imagine the joy it would cause if people in your life to know that you’re happy? Think about the sweet lady in your church who has told you over and over again that she prays for you daily. Or your boss. Or your mom. You know– the people who really care about you and your happiness.

    Let it be known that you love your life. Write, “I love my life” as your Facebook status today. Post it on Twitter. Print off a sign and put it on the doorway to your office.

    I dare you. Chose happiness and change your life. It can start today.

    O, that we would live a life worthy where the Gospel has fully penetrated even to our attitudes.

  • Second Fiddle

    Second Fiddle

    Last night, a co-worker posted a link on Facebook to a Mint.com blog post called, “Top 10 Things That Determine Happiness.”

    That post resonated with me because a lot of people in my life are unhappy because they don’t want to be happy. They seem to have a co-dependency with angst. And they tend to take it out on me because I’m a generally happy person.

    Here’s a couple of my favorite parts of the list:

    No.10 – Having a short memory

    Are you one to hold grudges? Do you need the jaws of life to pry forgiveness out of you? Well, don’t expect these attributes to contribute to your happiness or to your overall health for that matter. This ability to forgive and forget, to go with the flow, is frequently cited by researchers of centenarians as being a key factor in their ability to live to see their 100th birthday.

    No.5 – Developing a skill

    According to psychology professor Dr. Timothy A. Pychyl, the route to happiness is simple enough, “Live it, don’t buy it.” This is especially relevant in the modern world, where instant gratification can be purchased — but only to a point, before it hits a wall.

    He quotes a professional base jumper, who says, “You’ve got to have the passion to do your time. If you haven’t done the time, you just can’t get there.” He goes on to argue that only by paying one’s dues through time, effort, devotion, and experience can we, “develop the rich experiences that make life meaningful.”

    No.1 – Liking yourself

    Liking oneself is arguably the principal characteristic of happy people. It’s been revealed in study after study after study: happy people like themselves. They think they’re pretty great people. They have high self-esteem, meaning they think highly of their own intelligence, they consider themselves to have strong ethical standards and to have far fewer prejudices than others.

    If I could be so bold to add one to the list, for youth workers, it would be:

    No.11 – Embrace your role as second fiddle

    Being satisfied in your ministry role will mean not being the most important person on your church staff. Ultimately, your role is to elevate the overall ministry of the church. When the student ministry is successful it compliments the overall mission of the congregation. The position of second fiddle is nothing to be ashamed of as it often earns many of the perks of the person in charge, but with little of the pressure of being the star. Conversely, the least satisfied youth workers tend to carry an attitude of, “I don’t play second fiddle to nobody, I’m a leader!” This disconnect between their role in the organization and where they see their role leads to dissatisfaction and unhappiness.

    What do you think? Is a key to happiness in youth ministry being satisfied in your role that you’ll never be the star?

  • The new corner office

    Photo by bitsnpixels via Flickr (Creative Commons)

    Perhaps this recession really has taught us some things?

    I’ve noticed some trends softly changing in the past 2-3 years that are enlightening a cultural shift in our work-home-success life quotient. And they are encouraging.

    Here’s a few things I would label under “the new corner office.” (Things that todays worker use to label that “they’ve made it.”)

    • No fear of self-employment. You’d think that a serious downturn in the economy, a tightening of credit, and exploding health insurance costs would scare the bejeezers out of people starting their own business? That’s just not happening in my circle of friends. And these new businesses, self-ventures, and new careers are all doing pretty well.
    • Working from home, working remotely, and location independence. Within the workforce, I think these are becoming status symbols. Kristen works from home as much as she likes. I like to work remotely about one day per week. And I know plenty of people who don’t even live in the same state as their company but work remotely permanently and just come in when needed. The net result for the company is that employees are actually more productive and the company needs less/different work space. The way technology is now… there’s a whole breed of worker growing less and less dependent on the traditional work environment. It’s a win-win.
    • Choosing “right job” over “big pay” jobs. [Note: I’m not talking about unemployed/unemployable recent college grads holding out for dream jobs that don’t exist at their level.] Plenty of people in my world have left jobs they pursued for years for something that was better suited for their personality/gift match. In many cases, that means they are pursuing a new career that pays less but feels right over a job that pays more but sucks the life out of them. That’s awesome for everyone.

    Hard work is now and will always be the grease that makes the machine of success work for 99.9% of workers. At the same time, these new trends seem to show a desire for a simpler life. The new mantra seems to be, “I don’t mind working hard for the right things.“