Strong opinion warning.
I’m not a fan of adult children living at home. It’s one thing if you’re on break from school and you’re a temporary visitor. It’s another thing when you’re able bodied. I’d even argue that the best thing for 18 year olds staying local for community college would be to kick them out of the house.
Trust me. They won’t die of exposure.
My opinion is that coddling teenagers leads to dependency. From a sociological perspective, I hypothesize adult coddling of teenagers and young adults has lead to an elongation of adolescence. (Some say it ends at 26? Crazy.) Likewise, raising a child from an early age with the goal that they will become happy, healthy, and independent young adults will prepare them for the swift kick that comes after high school graduation.
Enter Lisa.
I was Lisa’s youth pastor when she was in high school. She’s the eldest child from a great family. She worked hard in high school, was faithful to God, her parents, and a dedicated student. She’d be the first to tell you that she wasn’t perfect in high school. But something in Lisa’s character kept me investing in her. When she was a sophomore she and a few others started showing up for a 6 am Bible study. I thought they’d come for 2-3 weeks… and to my amazement we kept it going for almost 2 years! After high school she headed off to Grace College where she’ll earn a degree in just a few weeks with an emphasis on criminal justice and adolescence psychology.
Last November, I was on a flight using the wifi late at night when we struck up a conversation on Facebook chat. Inevitably, I asked the question: “So what do you want to do when you grow up? What’s next?”
She had some ideas but expressed some frustration. She really wanted to go back home to Michigan but feared that she’d either not find a decent job at all or be forced to give up her dream of working with teenagers. Let’s face it– Michigan is a tough place to be a recent college grad.
I was afraid for her. My fear was that she’d move home, not find a decent job, end up in something like minimum wage… unhappy and stuck in a cycle of paying off student loans by doing jobs that she wasn’t passionate about– and living at home.
I offered a potential solution we both agreed to pray about it.
What if you moved in with us, watched our kids during their summer break, and spent the summer chasing some of those social justice dreams by volunteering with San Diego-based non-profits?
Lo and behold after a month or so of praying about it we all agreed it’d be worth a shot.
Starting in June Lisa is coming to live with us. She has the first 6 weeks of time with us to volunteer for some non-profits. (We’re basically paying her to be a volunteer!) Than the second half of the time her concentration will shift to watching our kids when school ends July 15th.
We pray it’s a win-win. She gains some experience and exposure to what God is doing in the social justice community in San Diego. And our kids have a sweet nanny.
The hope, naive as it may be, that this will be a “halfway house” type of experience. We hope that through this experience that she’ll be able to find a permanent job, land a place to stay, and move on at the end of the summer to the next phase in her life. (Probably grad school being in the not-too-far distance.)
Independence is possible. We just need to facilitate it as opposed to fostering dependency.
This is how we’re helping a societal problem. How are you?
Christians make strange political bedfellows
Have you noticed that a lot of Christians are exhibiting a hatred for our government?
I just don’t get it.
For those who are mad about the latest government program… (yesterday it was social security, today it is health care, tomorrow it will be something else.)
Just some friendly reminders
- Anger isn’t the answer, it just make you look silly.
- Agreeing with everything isn’t an option, we live in a pluralistic democratic society.
- Living in denial of the situation we live in isn’t an option.
- Pointing back to founding fathers of the nation is silly, they are dead.
- Separating from society isn’t a biblical option.
- Moving to Canada isn’t an option, they don’t want you.
What is an option?
- Changing your attitude.
- Being a part of the solution.
- Loving your neighbor.
- Caring for your neighborhood and proving it with your actions.
- Being hospitable to people you don’t know.
- Stop waiting for your church to start a program.
- Putting the needs of others above the needs of yourself.
If you are Good News to your community you have to live like it.
If you aren’t willing to be Good News to your community, than shut up and let the government do what you aren’t willing to do.
Doing nothing tangible and also complaining about the government doing a bad job at your job… let’s just say that’s not “Good News.”
A young man prays in Carrefour, the epicenter of the January 12th earthquake
“Wake up, O sleeper,
rise from the dead,
and Christ will shine on you.” Ephesians 5:14
I first memorized Ephesians 5 with Kristen in 1995. We were dating and we had discovered that memorizing Scripture together was a way to channel our, um, energy for one another. It worked!
This passage of Scripture has been illuminated to me in new ways since I returned from Haiti a few days ago.
On the one hand– I need to shake the trip, to focus on the action items ahead of me, to move on with being a leader, husband, and father here in San Diego. I am needed here and there is no denying it. That much is clear.
On the other hand– everywhere I go I encounter something I cannot reconcile with what I have seen. Yesterday, I spent most of my day in a coffee shop sipping mochas and working on a freelance project for some friends. I am proud of the work I did yesterday. It turned out great. I love the opportunity it provides both for my family and the organization this work will benefit. But as I walked through my neighborhood I couldn’t help but think of the contrast to what I was doing just a week prior. Last Saturday, sounds of thousands praising Jesus and shouting prayers filled every neighborhood in Port-au-Prince and Carrefour. Even as night fell and we rested in our mission station we could hear the loud speakers in the distance… people singing and praising well into the humid darkness. Yesterday, back home in my neighborhood– nearly silence. The only sounds heard were children playing soccer in the park.
One place was awake. The other asleep.
Paul doesn’t leave me there, he continues, “Be very careful, then, how you live–not as unwise but as wise, making the most of every opportunity, because the days are evil. Therefore do not be foolish, but understand what the Lord’s will is.” Ephesians 5:15-17
My prayer while in Haiti were verses 15-17. I overlooked verse 14. My teammates kind of poked fun at me because I barely slept the whole week. I’d go to bed after they were asleep and they’d wake up and I’d already be up. It’s was this verse… I was doing what I could to make the most of every opportunity. I could sleep on the plane.
But it is verse 14 which stirs me now. Now I have to sort out how I can be awake to both realities.
