Author: Adam McLane

  • Congrats to Tim & Sara

    st_48A few weeks ago Sara and Tim got married. They have a pretty cool story, I hope I don’t get in too much trouble for sharing the little snippets that I know.

    I met Sara last October in Pittsburgh for the National Youth Workers Convention. I was walking around looking for people to interview for the ghetto fabulous podcast recap and found Sara in the hallway and she agreed to let me ask her a few questions. (She also knew Patti, maybe through YMX, I’m not sure on that part of the story!) Later in the weekend she and I bumped into one another again in the store and chatted some more. We connected, it was cool, and now she is a contributor on the YS blog.

    I remember cracking up with her because she told me that before the convention the little old ladies of the church had invited her to come over and they all prayed for her… that she would meet a husband at the conference. Being from a smallish town in Upstate New York it really wasn’t an unreasonable prayer request. There probably aren’t a ton of eligible bachelors there who’d love a life of ministry to teenagers. She thought it was funny that the ladies of the church were so concerned about her dating life. I mean, it is really funny!

    Lo and behold, the old ladies of the church got their prayer answered! Sara met Tim (a youth worker from the Albany area) at convention. They hit it off… obviously. And I have no idea the whirlwind romance that happened between then and November 14th… but they got married!

    Now we know that NYWC isn’t just a place to get encouraged, trained, resourced… and has been well-documented… make babies [for married couples.] Apparently, NYWC is a great place to meet a spouse, too!

    We tried really hard to get them to convention in Atlanta so we could bring them up on stage, embarrass them lovingly, and turn their faces all shades of red. As it turned out, NYWC was a great place to meet and all… but not such a great place for a honeymoon.

  • The power of editing

    The unsung heroes of any book, movie, magazine, or television show are the people behind the scenes who edit and frame a story into something that people will want to watch and talk about.

    For instance, take a look at the trailer for the 1988 movie, “A Cry in the Dark.” (You know, the one with Meryl Streep when she says, “A dingo ate my baby!” “the dingo’s got my baby.” [Thanks commenter])

    Here is the original trailer, put together by the UK-based company who made the movie, CannonFilms.

    Here is the U.S. theatrical release version shown to American audiences, put together by Warner.

    The video is probably 90% the same. Same shots, same scenes used. But with a few copy edits, a different voiceover actor, and different background music… the trailer comes across much different.

    I bring this up for two reasons.
    1. The difference between a lot of things being appropriate for one audience or the other is often times in the minor details.
    2. When you watch or read a story be aware that somewhere, someone is editing it to convey a message.

  • Let’s not talk about 2009 too much, ok?

    Let's never speak of 2009 again

    It’s not been an easy year. There have been some highlights… but a lot of lowlights. I can’t think of a period of time with more tears than 2009. I know I’m looking forward to a fresh start in 2010. Anyone with me?

  • Ministers Need Friends

    Photo by LabyrinthX via Flickr
    Photo by LabyrinthX via Flickr

    This may come as a shock to people who go to church– but being a church leader is a very lonely job. Sure, if you work in a church with a large staff it probably isn’t that lonely since you have co-workers who can become friends. But by-and-large, friends are hard to come by for ministers.

    Loneliness is a major issue for church staff.

    Reasons

    1. It’s hard to be friends with parishioners. Kristen and I have been fortunate in this regard, but by-and-large it is really hard to truly be friends with people in your church. You can be acquaintances, but you’ll never get to the point where you can go out for a laugh (or a beer) and lament about work sucking. (or just share “real life.” You have to be guarded.)
    2. It’s hard to find people wired like you. Even in large cities, there aren’t many people wired quite like a pastor.
    3. It’s hard to be friends since work hours are weird. I’ve not met a person who worked in a church who kept 9-5 type hours. It’s always that plus a bunch of nights out… randomly scattered. Makes it tough to be friends.
    4. It’s hard to have a life outside of the four walls of a church. The reason so much is said and written about balance and rest for church workers is that they suck at balance and resting! The job is just too demanding.

    Solutions

    1. Understand that this isn’t optional. For your long-term health as a minister in the community, you require friendships. (Not church acquaintances) You require true friendship outside of the church, in your local community.
    2. Seek permission from your supervisors. This sounds like a silly step, but you may need to hear “get a life” from your boss or board to make this a reality. If they’ve been a leader in the church for a while they will know that if you have good friendships locally you are more likely to stay in the community a lot longer. But if you are lonely, you will be a poor leader and in your boredom you’ll start looking for a job elsewhere.
    3. You aren’t in ____, so get over it. I know you are probably from somewhere you liked better. And you have friends who are in those places. That’s not helping you. Get over it and get to know some people in your community. God planted you where you are, He is smarter than you are, you need to suck it up and make friends.
    4. Do something outside the church. How did I make friends when I was in full-time church ministry? I volunteered to coach the golf team, I joined a golf league, a started participating in local politics. I wasn’t looking for 1,000 friends, just a few people who didn’t go to my church that I could be “just Adam” with and not “Pastor Adam.”
    5. Meet up with your long-time best friends once per year. Meet up at a conference, go away hunting, go on vacation together, go visit them for the Holidays… just do something where for a few days you can be with your long-time friends.

  • Christians are Bad Tippers

    Photo by garryknight via Flickr
    Photo by garryknight via Flickr

    The other day I was reading Steve Dublanica’s blog, Waiter Rant, in which he had a post entitled “Who are the worst tippers?“ Essentially, Steve was querying his reading audience… people who make most of their money from tips… who are the worst tippers.

    And the comments were revealing.

    There seem to be two kinds of bad tippers in the United States.

    1. People from countries where they don’t tip.
    2. The after church crowd.

    But the worst? Sunday Church goers who sit for hours and hours and leave 3 bucks on a $40 bill.

    What does that say about believers that we think so little of the people who serve us that we, as a people group, are known as cheap?

    ‘I tell you the truth, whatever you did not do for one of the least of these, you did not do for me.’ Matthew 25:45

    Let’s review. Here’s a link to some tipping ettiquette. This is what is expected, to not do at least this is rude.

    If you are going to go to lunch after church and hang out for an extended period of time, it is also customary to double tip on your table since the server is actually losing another table because you’ve stayed so long.

    Let’s presume that we, as a people group, are doing this because we just don’t know any better. But now that you know that “we” are known as bad tippers, I’d hope “we” adjust our behavior accordingly. I’d hate to presume that we really are cheap jerks!

  • Life Schmooshing

    life-convergence

    “How do I keep my private life private with social media?”

    When I pull away all the onion layers for people learning about social media, this is their core fear. They wrestle with two primary realities.

    1. Why would anyone care about what I am doing?
    2. How do I control the message?

    I’m not saying that every person who uses social media has something to hide. But I am saying that nearly every adult is increasingly aware that their use of the internet can be a both an asset and a liability– often times at the same time.

    I call it “life schooshing.” When I want to come across as intelligent, I use the phrase “life convergence.”

    Rather than fight it I suggest you learn to embrace and manage it.

    In the past, we could have a public persona and a private persona. And because theose spheres of influence rarely collided it wasn’t a big deal if those lifestyles didn’t line up with one another. A pastor could be a complete Republican hero on Sunday morning, while privately supporting the most liberal Democrats with his money. No one would ever know or ever care to know!

    The internet has changed all of that.

    Now? You’d be an idiot to try to keep all of these spheres apart. Your high school friends on Facebook will call you out. Your family will call you out. Your church will call you out. Your co-workers will call you out. Worse case scenario, your sins will call you out.

    Two realistic choices for dealing with life schmooshing.

    1. Go Amish. Unplug from social media. Don’t have a Google account. Stop using Facebook. Don’t comment on people’s blogs. Pretend Twitter doesn’t exist.
    2. Embrace incarnational living. It’s not a bad thing to have all of your life converge together. Trust me. It’s more blessing than curse. If you truly want to be a person of integrity in all areas of your life… social convergence is a great thing!

    What are some ways social media is helping your spheres converge in healthy ways? What are some fears you have? What about concerns of privacy?

  • Hands Up Kitty!

  • The Main Thing

    focus-on-main-thing

    Could you help me out? What’s the BIGGEST issue you are dealing with in your church right now? What’s keeping you up at night? DM or @ me.

    Todd Rhodes tweeted this today. And his question perfectly emphasized what I’ve been thinking about the last few days. This Fall, I’ve had the beautiful opportunity to run around the country  for work and in the course of doing so sit down and chat with people from all walks of ministry life. Big churches. Little churches. Senior pastors. Volunteers. On fire. Burnt out. Rookies. Seasoned veterans. It seems like I’ve had a chance to get the pulse of a pretty good sample of people doing ministry today.

    At some point in most of those conversations a single theme rang true: We need to spend less time on stuff that doesn’t really matter and focus more time on things that really change lives.

    More specifically, ministry-people want/need/long to focus more intently on presenting Christ than anything else! They want to focus more on the “main thing” and less on stuff like building an amazing program.

    It seems like the last 20-25 years of church ministry we elevated a ministry leaders value to “what else can you do?” as opposed to “are you a minister?” You’d hear things like “That person is a powerful leader of his staff.” “That woman runs the most efficient youth program in the world!” “He is an amazing worship leader.” On and on.

    Those are all value statements about ministry program skills and not the “main thing.”

    And people in full time ministry are pretty frustrated by it. We didn’t go into ministry to be valued by our skill set, did we?

    I experience this all the time. People seek me out to talk about “how I can help their ministry” all the time. It’s because I have a skill and not because of who I am in Christ.

    Certainly, it is nice to have skills that people seek out. (Don’t get me wrong!) But I’m often left wondering… “Do these people really think I’m all about social media, internet utilities, strategy, design?” I hope not. I hope they recognize that these are the means to an end. The reason I work so hard on these skills is to convey the most important message in human history! At the core of who I am is not a tech nerd. I want to be a nerd who passionately loves Jesus and wants to reach the lost. My skills are not my “main thing” and I shudder to think of others looking at me and thinking it’s my main thing.

    To answer Todd’s question: I hope people lay in bed at night thinking about their ministry. I hope the Holy Spirit stirs them at 2:00 AM to innovate powerful things. But I also hope they aren’t wasting their time and sleep on stuff that isn’t the “main thing”.

  • Notre Dame vs. Stanford

    Last night Kristen and I went to the game between Notre Dame and Stanford with my cousin and fellow Irish fanatic, Trent.

    It was a fun game with lots of points scored, lots of exciting plays, and a few times we thought, “they are going to pull away and win for sure.”

    That isn’t the way it worked out and it isn’t the way the whole season has worked out. A month ago they were looking at a BCS bowl bid and Jimmy Clausen was being mentioned as a Heismen candidate. Now it looks like Weis will be fired today, Clausen will likely leave for the NFL, and my favorite team will be back to rebuilding.

    We have become the Cubs.

    I have three requests for Notre Dame:

    1. Hire an experienced head coach.
    2. Join a conference. The Big 10 seems likely, but any conference will do.
    3. Tell NBC to go away. Nothing good has happened as the result of being on National TV. No Heismen’s. No National Championships. Nothing.

    There is always next year. I know that. But I really wanted them to win last night!

  • Rest

    Convention season is over. As you would expect, I am exhausted.

    My mind is marshmallow. My heart for the conventions is that I am there to serve and minister… And that I want to leave every ounce of myself “on the field.”

    All three cities left me physically spent. But in Atlanta I made a special effort to open myself to time with attendees. As a result I did a lot of listening and praying with fellow youth workers. This has left me emotionally drained. I have so much going on in my mind, but it just won’t come out in written word.

    The next few days I will be pretty absent. I just need to rest, think, pray, and be present with the most important people in my life.

    Until then, my feet will be up, I am turning it off, and I will see you all again soon.