Category: family

  • Leaving Romeo: Jimmy

    Last week I talked about leaving Romeo and my relationship with our senior pastor, Bob. Next, I want to talk about our music dude Jimmy. Jimmy, like Jason before him, has been an awesome friend to me. There is something about being in that “associate” role at a church that I’ve always found kinship with. 

    Jimmy joined us in November 2007. Like the rest of the staff Jimmy came from “big church land.” Jimmy and Ashley have an amazing personal story. Not only do they have an amazing story, they love talking about it as they realize their pain… ultimately… can and should be used for glorifying God. If you don’t know their story, take them out for a steak dinner and have them tell you!

    It goes without saying that Jimmy is talented. Even if you don’t care for his style of music you have to recognize the gifts God has given him. (Of course, his dad is a musician and music is part of what it means to be in his family.) But in the last 6 months I’ve learned that there is so much more to “The Savage” than just musical talent. 

    In my post about Bob I pointed to two qualities I’ve always looked for in a staff member at the church. Does this person passionately love Jesus? Is he wild eyed enough to follow God and not man? If you’ve ever talked to Jimmy for more than 5 minutes you’ll know the answer to those questions. It’s a scary combination when a man is both talented and passionate about Jesus. As I told his mom a couple weeks ago… that a combination she must be proud of. 

    Jimmy is game for silliness. At his very first staff meeting he jumped on board with the Elf videos we used. I knew right there we’d get along!  There’s nothing worse than a guy who is super talented and “too cool” for silliness. Not the case with Jimmy. (I really was worried about that.) Jimmy is a gamer.

    Jimmy is game for leading Romeo’s worship to the finish line. As I think back on the music at our church over the last 5 years I can think of a single description: Liquid. I liked the music when we first arrived… super vibrant and fun. Then we went through some dark times musically, the people were fine, it was just an issue of preference. From there we went through a steady embrace and transition to where we are now. Music is a big part of what Romeo is now all about as we try to reach Romeo for Christ. The goal is worship excellence. (High quality musically, high quality worship experience) I look forward to coming back to Romeo often and telling him, “the music is solid.”

    Leaving now stinks. After years of toil, snares, and bumps… things are just getting good! And Jimmy is a big part of that. He adds an element to the staff that was missing. 

    Beyond work, Jimmy and Ashley are awesome people. Kristen and I are looking for opportunities to be in Romeo so we can hang out with our new friends. Their daughter cracks me up as she is a synthesis of both of them. She is a little bit wild like Jimmy yet sweet like her mommy. The bad thing is that she has one of those smiles that’s going to cost mom and dad a lot of money! She’s going to get whatever she wants. 

  • Leaving Romeo: Bob

    As I mentioned two days ago, it is now official that my tenure at Romeo is rapidly coming to an end. And while there is plenty of curiosity among readers about what my new job is all about with Youth Specialties… there are years to talk about that and just days to reflect on the past five years in Romeo.

    The hardest part of moving is seeing relationships transform, morph… but hopefully not end. As we wrapped up our last staff meeting together on Tuesday we all knew it was the end of an era for the church. Out of our staff meeting have come some of the best and worst ideas! (Cow & elf costumes included) But the staff meeting is always a place where we ask the Spirit to help us plan… and we’ve never been shy in following His leading. 

    I can’t think of staff meeting and not think of the guys. So let’s kick off this “leaving Romeo” series by talking about them. 

    Bob is “the man” of our church, constitutionally. I don’t know why, but in the constitution it says that his title is “Pastor” and then a long string of titles like “bishop” and “king of the assembly.” But this includes “the man.” I like that one… and the sports nut in Bob likes it too.

    Bob and I met at Caribou on 26 Mile Road in March 2004. He was interested in being our interim pastor and I was desperate to fill that role.

    About 6 months prior, his predecessor suddenly left to move to Alabama and that left a serious void at our church. One thing I’ve always been confident in at Romeo was that I was “not the man.” I never felt God called me to Romeo to eventually become the Senior Pastor and that left me in an awkward spot during those transition years without a Senior Pastor… I was a guy left serving an unnamed man. 

    When we met it wasn’t all that memorable. He was willing and qualified and we agreed that by taking the interim role he was eliminating himself from the possibility of being the Senior. What I was looking for, he had. It’s really the same core thing we’ve looked for in every single hire I’ve been a part of at Romeo. Does this person passionately love Jesus? Is he wild eyed enough to follow God and not man? If you know Bob you have little doubt within the first 2 minutes that the answer to those questions was… YES!

    Over the next several months Bob and I gradually got to know one another. The thing I want to communicate and the thing I want people to know about Bob as I leave can be boiled down to a couple of facts. 

    1. Bob passionately loves the Lord. Leading the church through a change process has repeatedly put that to the test… and I am the guy positioned closer than anyone so let me tell you, Bob passionately loves the Lord. You could get all “John Piper” on me and disagree with this statement, but the #1 you should look for in choosing a church or choosing to stay at a church is, “Does the person in charge exhibit a passion for Jesus?” If you want my opinion, Bob’s a firm YES on that one. Got doubts? Let me buy you a cup of coffee and lend me your ear.
    2. Bob calls people to an active faith. See, it’s one thing to be passionate about Jesus. But being a leader is all about taking people where they won’t go on their own. (I always think of Patton) Bob’s not a lover of confrontation but he is not afraid to confront you with what the Bible says. As much as our personalities are different… this is something that we’ve been rock-solid-together on since day one… God is calling His people to live our their faith visibly to shake this community to it’s core for the sake of winning thousands to Jesus. Not only have I witnessed in innumerable ways Bob living out an active faith, I’ve seen him call tons of people to an active faith. 
    I’ll miss Bob’s friendship a ton. We do life together. We’ve been married roughly the same amount of time and we’ve got kids roughly the same ages so we’ve always had that in common to talk about. He’s been there for me through some tough times and I’d like to think that I lifted him up through some tough times. Bob’s friendship has been atypical in my life. I generally either make friends with someone quickly or never really connect. In the case of Bob and I, it took a while for us to connect. As “boss and subordinate” our work relationship started off rocky and has continually gotten more natural. I was pretty convinced I was going to get bounced! To say that Bob and I are two different people is like saying that the Sears Tower is tall. Yet our shared heart for the community/church/people kept us united and I never had a serious though of leaving until… well, the day I told him I was leaving! In the end, I think he and I worked pretty well together. Kristen recently asked me, “Who was a tougher boss… Bob or Vivian. (My boss at BlueCross) I have great respect for both, but Bob never was in V’s zip code. I hope I helped make him better as he obviously brought out stuff in me I never foresaw using in a church.
    Since I know how church life is… let me go on the record for future reference. My leaving Romeo was about following God and not about something that happened privately between Bob and I. Quite the opposite! Romeo is a church that has been through so much stuff that I think the people are leery in believing me at face value. In fact, there have been a lot of tears shed over this decision because I know relationships like this don’t come easily. To go further, let me share illustrate with a quick story.
    Last winter the church hit a serious bump. As bumps come in leadership this was a big one and it rattled us. And that led to Bob and I sitting down for a few hours and having a really tough conversation. Basically… he was asking me if I was in. But more than that [simple question to be honest] there was something that Bob needed to say to me that I knew had been swirling around for a while and it would change our relationship somehow. He said something like, “You always say you love the people, love the community, love the church, love the vision, etc… but do you love me? Am I your pastor?” (reference points 1 & 2 above) I think if he and I hadn’t had that conversation that I wouldn’t have been free to leave Romeo now. He and I would have never really known the truth, but now we do. 
    So if you believe that my leaving Romeo is really about some strange conspiracy no one will talk about I… don’t know what else I can say. You probably believe that the FBI killed JFK. Send me an email, I’ll buy you a cup of coffee and we’ll talk. If you still don’t believe me… I can’t help you.
    Soon I’ll talk about all sorts of other things about leaving Romeo. But I wanted to start it off with talking about Bob. Leaving the staff is hard. But leaving friendships and the church is hardest. 

  • The home stretch

    Home stretchMegan has about three weeks left of school. Like a lot of other kids in school, she can only think about the finish line. How many days until she is done with first grade, gets a vacation, and enters second grade? Right now that is all those thoughts dominate her mind.

    We are using this time, this moment, to emphasize three McLane values. She knows them… now she is getting to live them.

    Value #1: Winners don’t look back. It doesn’t matter what the sport is, if you keep your eye on your competition and what they are doing you are more likely to lose. We teach our kids to focus on doing their absolute best. If they are in first place… only look at the finish line and do your best. For her school work Megan needs to focus on being #1 and not focusing on what her friends are doing. They may be doing great right now, or they may be cashing it in. But there is still important learning to be done in these final moments. I know that historians tell you that looking back helps you not make mistakes in the future… that may be true for some things. But for me, my ministry and my business depend on my looking forward toward the goals and focusing on the winning… all that matters are the two times I can control: Today and tomorrow. Looking back only leads to failure.

    Value #2: Never give up. We say this all the time when we wrestle and play with the kids. “Do you give up?” The right answer is “Daddy, I never give up!” (As they are pinned down on the floor struggling to get up and knock me down.) The life of a McLane is never a bed of roses. We’re not handed anything… we earn what we have with hard work, diligence, honesty, and perseverance. I moved out of my house before my 18th birthday and I learned this lesson the hard way. Sure God wants to bless us. But in my life, God blesses me when I’m working hard. I expect my kids to translate that value to everything they do. From soccer to karate to 1st grade. Until the teacher or coach tells them its time to go home, they don’t give up.

    Value #3: Finish strong. Let’s face it. Most people are lazy. They know that doing 70% of their job and making 51% of people happy means doing a “good job” and getting a raise. Our society expects and rewards mediocrity. (Sorry, but this is why I hate unions. Unions reward mediocrity.) I don’t believe God desires mediocrity from His children. We teach our kids that finishing strong matters. From the first day of 1st grade to the last day of first grade… everyday matters. When I’m at work, finishing a project strong is all that matters. It doesn’t matter that I’ve had a great week of preparation. It doesn’t matter that the meeting started good. It doesn’t matter that I have a good plan. What matters, what you are judged on, is execution. Strong execution of a plan, task, or even a sermon makes up for inadequacies in other areas.

    These are the values I teach my kids. Are they biblical? You tell me.

    What values do you teach your kids? What values do you express in your daily life that emphasize who you are, your life story?

    Bonus: What does this have to do with the Protestant Work Ethic?

  • Happy Birthday Megan

    Happy Birthday MeganIt’s hard to believe but my oldest child turns 7 today. Six was a good year to her. She has finished most of first grade. She is learning like crazy. She just got baptized. She has a lot of friends. She is in love with Webkinz.

    Megan loves animals, especially her cat Lovely. While Lovely is a pretty grumpy cat to me, she is super gentle with Megan… who is a bit rough with the feline.

    Turning seven is a big deal. As I look forward to the next 12 months for her I can foresee a lot of changes, a lot of exploration, and a lot more learning. Megan is just about the sweetest kid you’ll ever meet. Gosh, I love that kid.

    A couple of Megan tidbits from a daddy perspective—

    1. Megan was born on the ideal day. Kristen and I were meticulous in planning the pregnancy. In our family, it’s against the rules to have a June baby as nearly every day is taken. And I didn’t want to have a baby while I was in school, so I needed to make sure she was born after finals and before mid-August. And Kristen didn’t want to be pregnant for a sweaty Chicago summer, so that left a window of May 12 to May 30th. In fact, we circled May 12th on the calender and did some math to.. um… time everything out. Yes, I’ve been known to make a plan and stick to it! So while Megan was technically “late” according to the doctor, she was born on the date we planned out many months before.
    2. On November 20th, 2000 I journaled this about getting started with a family: We finally made an agreement to get started the first time we met your cousin Ryan. I instantly fell in love with his “McLane-ness” and I absolutely had to have one, my very own McLane. For some reason I was convinced that any children I had were going to look just like mommy’s family. (Jacob in particular.) But as soon as I saw little Ryan crawling around his grandparents yard I knew I was ready. He was just too cute and way too stubborn! Let’s just say that prophesy has come true. Megan is all McLane and she is slightly stubborn.
    3. Megan was a boy. At least she was a boy 3 times in ultrasounds. (Friends of ours ran an ultrasound school and used Kristen’s belly as a lab rat. It wasn’t until Megan was about 5 minutes old that I made the observation and went over to Kristen… “Our boy doesn’t have a piece.” [direct quote!] In fact, on the video taken immediately after she was born you can hear us calling her Paul. (We’ve had our kids names picked out since we were dating!)

  • 13 Years Later

    13 yearsKristen and I have been going out 13 years. (OK, we’ve been married almost 11 years… but we’re still dating.) I love telling our story because it’s pretty unusual these days.

    Kristen and I met when we were almost 19 years old. After a really awkward and unmemorable blind date Kristen and I finally had our first real date in May 1995. It happened spontaneously as I asked Kristen out… thinking she would say something about the weekend… but she said, “Sure, I’m not doing anything right now. Let’s go out.” Since I’ve never been accused of being a plan man, this was perfect for me as I was able to improv a little.

    Needless to say we got lost. We jumped on the el and went the wrong way towards O’hare. For entertainment on our long train ride I read Dr. Seuss books to Kristen. While I acted out all the voices and made her giggle with my stupidity we lost track of where we were going. When the blue line ended 25 miles out of the way… I suddenly realized our mistake. The only problem was that I didn’t have enough change to correct the mistake! So, on our first date Kristen learned about my “Live like JFK rule.” (I rarely carry cash and depend on debit cards, even then.)

    An hour later we arrived at the airport. Why the airport? Well, I had been convinced that O’hare had an observation deck where we could watch planes taxi and take off. I was wrong. But it didn’t matter. She was sold on my sexiness and Dr. Seuss voices.

    A true test of how things were going came from a classic Adam corny joke. As we were wandering around O’hare we rode the escalator up to the 2.5 billion check-in desks. As we were walking through we walked past all the placards that said “International” and “Domestic.” I said, “Did you know that the domestic lines are just for married people?” Kristen said, “Really?” And I was in love.

    I can’t get her anymore as she ignores 99% of what I say. But we’re still in love.

  • Tax returns

    tax refundWe’re a late filing family. I filed at 10:15 PM on April 15th. I’m happy to report that we got our state refund today. It came at the perfect time! Between that and the relief check we are, for lack of a better term, relieved.

  • Chirp!

    ChirpRight now our house is a little annoying to be in. You need to know that we live in an old house, built in 1871. For those of you outside of Romeo I’ll explain our town to you like this. Have you ever driven through and old town, gone down Main Street and slowed down to admire the Victorian homes? I live in that neighborhood. Romeo is one of those towns with homes dating back to the mid-1800s.

    Over the years our house has acquired a bunch of smoke detectors. I think there are 8 smoke detectors and a carbon monoxide detector. And every single one of them takes a 9v battery. Our house is annoying to be in right now because 3 of them need their batteries changed. And they remind you… chirp.

    An annoying warning sign. Think about this. The chirp that is annoying me is annoying me by design. The batteries are low on those 3  smoke detectors to warn me that if I don’t change the batteries soon they will go back to the silent way there were before with one important difference: They would be dead. They won’t protect my family.

    What are the chirps in your life? What are the things in your life that give you constant reminders that you learn to ignore?  

  • Cedar Point is in the portfolio

    cedar pointMy family has a habit of investing in companies that we believe in. Our family portfolio includes an automaker and an oil company that are serious about making money while remaining serious about caring for the world we live in. In short,
    We added a fun company to our portfolio, literally. Cedar Fair Entertainment Group (stock symbol: FUN) is the company that owns two of my favorite places in the world: Cedar Point and Michigan’s Adventure. [As well as a few other amusement parks, hotels, water parks, and other stuff]

    Why invest in this company now… in a recession? The play for us is that we think that families are still going to take their kids on trips this year…  and an amusement park is the perfect place to drop off a few hundred bucks in a day while feeling like you can’t afford to go on a big trip. Put that with this family-friendly businesses habit of distributing profits to its investors and I was sold!

  • Spring Comes to Romeo

    peonyThis isn’t quite what our peonies look like just yet, but they have begun to sprout. Around our house that is a sure fire sign that spring has sprung.

    This was a really long winter. I can’t wait for more warm weather, taking walks, riding bikes, and seeing anything green.

    And yes, I do believe golf will be a small part of 2008. (Been on sabbatical for a couple years.)

  • Plumbing Fun!

    plumberThe last couple of weeks we had some water in our basement. Not altogether unusual for a 140 year old house, but enough to be concerned about. Yesterday, our plumber friend came over to have a look at it. He ran his massive snake machine all over the place and that didn’t clear out the problem. (Though he did get rid of some pesky roots from our 100 foot tall sycamore in the front yard.)

    So he did a little digging (literally) and discover the source of the problem. There is a key elbow where the new PVC piping linked up with the ancient clay piping. The actual elbow was completely gone. All that was there was an elbow of soil which somehow managed to get most of the waste water down the drain while leaving some of it under our house. Yuck.

    Long story short, he’ll be back today to finalize the job.  He’ll be re-routing some of our drains and fixing a few other mistakes the previous owner made. All told, it could have been a lot worse. It’s bad… but when you live in an old house like this… there are going to be a lot of previous owner mistakes to undo to get stuff done right by the pros.