Category: family

  • Family Update

    This was our first full weekend here in San Diego. Reality is starting to set in for all of us that we won’t be “going home” to Romeo. When I brought everyone out a couple weeks back for the taste test it was gravy, this is the hard part. Here are some prayers I have for the family this week.

    Paul: He’s the most honest of the bunch right now. He wants to go back to our other house. He told me last night that he hates the new house, it’s too small, and he needs to be able to go upstairs to his room to be by himself. I’m praying that God would soften his heart to our new house. I’m praying that he would start to meet some new kids. I’m praying that we would find an outlet for his energy, excitement, and creativity before his frustration turns into another emotion. I’m praying for him as school starts in a couple of weeks. I hope he gets excited about it!

    Megan: Either she is lying or she really likes it here. She told me several times yesterday that she misses her friends… but she likes it here. Ever the optimist, Megan will almost be in tears about missing home and then she will kind of shake it off and start talking about something cool here. I’m praying for her to find some good girlfriends. We were fortunate in Romeo that she had a really nice interweaving of school friends and church friends. I’m hoping for that for her as well. I’m praying that she keeps up her spirit of exploration and optimism that this is a great move for us.

    Kristen: The stress of the move weighs heavily on her shoulders. Each day there are fewer boxes but we’re also facing the reality that there may not be room for everything. I know Kristen is trying her best to make this a home and she longs to just see us all find our groove again. And the upcoming trip to Ikea to buy bucket loads of furniture for the kids room and the living room will help a ton. Pray for Kristen as she starts looking for a job. We had always planned on her going back to work once Paul started school… it just happens to coincide with moving to a new place. I’m praying it would be clear which jobs to interview for, that it would somehow be plausible to remain a one car family, that the new job would allow her to still consider herself a full time mom, on and on.

    Me: Besides dealing with the guilt that I’ve somehow ruined my kids lives by accepting this new role in life, I am doing well. We’ve been trying out Kaleo Church and so far I’ve been really pleased with that. We went to a visitors BBQ yesterday and it warmed my heart to see the kids playing with other kids and just being normal. I’m thankful for the road trip last week. Not only was it safe and uneventful… it was a ton of fun and I feel fortunate to have had that much time with Megan.

    Randomness I’m praying about: I’ve got some interesting new things popping up at work, I’m praying they are well-received. Kristen and I will be checking out a community center this week. It is only a few block from here and it could be a great way for all of us to get more active… we just need to weigh the expense vs. the benefit to the family. I’m praying that someone will buy our house in Romeo, soon! I’m praying for oodles of little details with the old house and the new house.

    This morning I re-read Galatians for about the 200th time. It never struck me before like it struck me this morning… do you think Paul wrote that in a bad mood? Do you think he sat down and pounded that out in about 20 minutes?

  • We’ve landed

    Yesterday Megan and I made it to San Diego with about an hour to spare. Our plan worked out perfectly! We were able to drop off all the stuff from the car at the new house just in time to head to the airport and pick up Kristen, Paul, and Lovely as they arrived from Detroit. From there we headed back to the house to do a little “nesting” and get everyone settled. Everyone is having a good time exploring their new surroundings.

    Personally, my surprise joy came when I went grocery shopping. It may sound like something silly to get excited about… but it was a blast! Since there are so many ethnicities in our community the grocery store is packed with new flavors and things to try. I think I came home with 20 different juices that we’ve either never had or have not had access to in a long time.

    The truck gets delivered later this afternoon. So we’ll have the weekend to unpack the truck and start getting organized. Yup, it feels really real now.

    One cool thing that happened yesterday is that we started meeting our neighbors. Although the house is a lot smaller I can tell we are going to like living here a lot.

    video update: It’s going to take me a few days to get all the videos online. We took so much video… getting days 4 & 5 of Travels With Stoney done is just going to take me a little bit. Plus, I’ve got a massive backlog of work!

  • Happy Birthday Paul

    Happy Birthday PaulDespite Paul’s preference to believe that he was never a baby, today is his 5th birthday.

    On August 8th, 2003 Kristen and I drove to Mount Clemens General for Paul’s scheduled birth. Since his sister was a big baby our doctor felt no need to make Kristen wait the typical 2 weeks after the due date. And for good reason. Several hours later baby Paul was born at 9 lbs 2 oz.

    If you’ve not spent time with Paul you are missing out. Paul is a blast. He is full of energy, creativity, stories, ideas, and spunk. Paul has some of the best faces you’ve ever seen. Seriously, he can roll his eyes in a way that just cracks me up.

    Paul is also a very physical kid. One of our favorite things to do is “wrestle.” Wrestling at our house essentially means that I get on the floor and throw them around for a while. Then Megan and Paul do some massive WWE moves to try to break me.  They’ll jump off furniture or get a running start to dive onto my back. This is also a way I teach them to work together as the only way I’ll allow them to knock me down or pin me (they count to 4 and say, “We win!”) is to work together. While Megan and I always played together, Paul craves this physical contact. You’ll often see him run up and punch me in the stomach or pull my arm or push me or smack me on the butt. Those are all invitations to “fight.”

    Here are a few more of Paul’s favorite things.

    1. Karate. Paul has earned his first belt and can’t wait to start at his new school in San Diego.

    2. Chicks. Paul’s man squeeze is Autumn. It doesn’t matter that she’s babysat him since he was about a week old, he’s madly in love with her. But she’s not his only girlfriend. At one point he claimed he had 100 girlfriends. Play on player.

    3. Food. Seriously, the first thing he says when he wakes up is “What can I eat?” Sometimes he’s non-verbal in the morning and he just points to his mouth!

    4. The computer. As I’ve talked about before, you’ve not lived until you see this little boy navigate his computer.

    5. Superheros. Right now he’s into Pokemon. But he’s also into Power Rangers, Webkinz, and Scooby Doo.

    Like his dad, Paul is very sensitive. As much as he likes the spotlight he also gets embarrassed easily. When he is confident about what he’s doing he is very confident. But when he is doing something he’s unsure about and he suddenly realizes other people are watching him, he bolts and hides.

    I could go on writing about my son, but all of this is to say… Happy birthday Paul!

  • Garage sale thoughts

    The last two days I’ve been in charge of the sale department for our garage sale. So while Kristen may have done the majority of the work, she simply has no ability/desire to look at someone and say “I want $20 for that chair.” I think I was meant for a haggle-based society so it’s fun for me.

    A couple observations about garage sales.

    #1 You want to attract the early morning garage sale customers. They are great! Not only do they come ready to buy, they are polite and fun to talk to. 

    #2 If someone says “I am going to tell my daughter about that, I’ll be back” it probably means they are not coming back.

    #3 Don’t hold anything until someone has paid. We made that mistake with a bed frame… several others wanted it and that person never came to get it. 

    #4 It’s perfectly acceptable to pull into my driveway, look at things and then drive away. Apparently, it is just as acceptable to pull up and ask for directions to other garage sales.

    #5 Traffic drops off sharply after noon. And the people who come after 1:30 PM can be downright mean. Not everyone, but some people cussed at us when we wouldn’t give them $20 items for $2. 

    #6 Expect to chat with neighbors. That’s the best part of a garage sale! We spoke to tons of people over the last two days and it was really encouraging. I had a great conversation with Les Young about why he’s running for Bruce Township Supervisor. He’s got some great ideas that earned my vote on Tuesday. (Also planning to support Jeanie Lerchen, in case you were interested.) 

    #7 Smile and be patient. Just like traveling overseas… a smile and a patient attitude will get you all you need.

  • Travels with Stoney: Join us!


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    Every once in a while I come up with an idea that is crazy enough to try. This is one of those.

    On August 10th, Megan and I will push Stoney (our yellow lab) into the car and leave on a 2500 mile adventure. Together, we will travel through 10 states between Romeo and San Diego. As Megan told me, “This is the adventure of a lifetime.”

    You’re nuts! I know, it’s completely insane to travel for four long days with a 7 year old and my dog. But let’s be honest, how often in life do you have the opportunity to share an adventure with your kid? Never!

    The cool part? This is a participatory event. You want to meet up with us? Send me an email at mclanea@gmail.com and I’ll add you to the list. (If I can fit it in.) Of course, being that we are total tech heads, this will be a very well documented trip. We’ll blog, twitter, twitpic, and other “tech stuff” all the way across the country. Expect regular video updates too! I hope to meet all sorts of friends, including crashing at their pads, all the way from

    Don’t follow me on twitter? This is a great time to jump in and follow me. Tune in here on the website for all the latest.

  • Paul and the Internet

    Paul loves his macI’m a web geek, my wife is a (hot) web geek, and my kids are web geeks. If you don’t have young kids I don’t think you really understand what I mean by “our kids are web geeks.” So here is a visual for you. Paul, who turns 5 next week, navigates the web very well.

    Paul can launch Firefox, click the address bar, and type in the URL of his favorite websites. From there he can completely navigate these sites. This includes some relatively complex things like typing in user names and password and printing documents. Here’s the catch… Paul can’t read. He is 4 years old.

    Imagine all that Megan can do? She is 7 and has mastered browsing the internet, google, and can even launch various programs like Word. One of her favorite things is to write letters, play with the fonts, print them out, and hand them to her friends.

    Sidenote to educators. You need more computers. While my kids may be slightly above the norm you need to step up both the rollout of computer time and the quality of projects you have them do. In first grade Megan would come home and say “I hate computer time. I already did everything at home and was bored.” Yeah, better step it up there to keep her enthusiasm. I don’t care that everyone doesn’t have broadband internet and everyone doesn’t have a computer at home. Educate my kid or you’ll lose her attention. And upgrade the teachers. Got a teacher that doesn’t want to use the computer? Fire ’em. Seriously. My kids don’t need teachers who were good twenty years ago. They deserve a teacher who will educate them for the future. Fire ’em and hire someone who can teach. Do it today. Then you’ll see your precious scores go up. Deal?

    3 Websites ruling the roost this summer

    #1 Club Penguin

    #2 Webkinz

    #3 Cartoon Network

    How do the do this? Just like web browsers are smarter these days, wed design education is smarter as well. The operative word these days is “Interactive media design” or “IMD” for short. 

  • Life on the Raft


    We are at a place in life where it feels like we live on a raft. Our family is disjointed from normal life as we’ve made the decision to pull up anchor and trust that God will take care of us as we coast down the river to the next place.

    While our kids should be focusing on summer activities and starting to look forward to school starting in a month, they are instead intent on holding on to these final days in Romeo. Lingering with friends a little. Making sure their stuff is packed. Talking about our new adventure to come. 

    While Kristen and I are eager to start our new lives, there is a sadness sweeping over us as we recognize that life will never be the same. For better or worse, the next phase of life brings fresh opportunities. Yet, like the kids, we can’t focus solely on the future and forget about the past. Each box packed is full of memories. With each step towards San Diego a realization that we’re one step closer to leaving this anchorage behind. As we cast off the shore of the known for the unknown we trust we’ll find the next anchorage safely. Uncertainty causes caution while optimism brings about steadfastness.

    Yet there there is something even bigger going on. As we drift down this river of life we feel ourselves giving away control. Life on a raft is not something you can navigate fully. Together, we are learning new respect for Old Man River as His currents move us down the river. Our possessions aren’t our possessions anymore. Our home doesn’t feel like our home anymore. Our dreams for one place are being replaced by dreams for another. Peril lies down some branches of the river yet the road map to avoid mistakes is unclear. With enthusiasm we embrace the risk and adventure!

    While the wonder of a new adventure looms, we are aware that every adventure story experiences highlights, dramatic shifts, unexpected dangers, sorrow, silliness, and joy. Just like Huckleberry Finn and Jim experienced… the journey is as important as the destination. 

    While this is a personal raft our family is casting into the river… this life season opens our eyes to many others in the same river of trust. With newfound empathy we connect with fellow rafters. Together, those drifting down the river identify strongly with one another’s journey. We love to exchange stories. Some stories are filled with mourning. Ours is filled with blessing. All are filled with awe. As a group our unknowns are embraced while risk is carefully mitigated. It seems that we resolutely accept the reality that His currents will take us where He wants at His mercy and benevolence.

    While some quickly assume these movements are random or even the result of chaos, we know who commands the currents, the emotions, the raft, the raft captain, and even the winds. 

    And so here we are. Just prior to Bon Voyage we pause to reflect, celebrate, hope for safe landing, and embrace the story ahead. Sapere invenio.

  • The injustice of grace

    Define GraceHave you ever thought about what Jesus did and thought, “eh?“ I’ve been having this thought lately and I just can’t shake it:

    It’s a complete injustice that I experience grace.

    First of all, I need to be clear what I mean by grace since there are several definitions for this word… even the Bible uses it 5-6 different ways. By grace I mean “the active communication of divine blessings by the inworking of the Holy Spirit, out of the fullness of Him who is “full of grace and truth,”” (Louis Berkhof, 1949) In other words, grace is the good stuff we are blessed with because of our relationship with Jesus.

    Have you ever been comped on something? You know, you show up to a place and because you are with “him” or “her” you get free stuff. That’s a practical expression of grace… and it’s a total injustice! In my life I’ve gotten comped on some very nice things. Rounds of golf, meals, retail stuff, vacations, stuff like that. It’s always a weird feeling as you of look at the person whom you’d normally pay and then flash a glance over to the “big guy” and the need to pull out your wallet goes away. (Sometimes a half thumb pointing at the big guy helps.)

    Why is that an injustice? Well, you get stuff you can’t afford for free! Other people have to pay big bucks for the round of golf I play for free… that’s really not fair to those who have to pay, is it?

    It’s the same way in a lot of areas of my life right now. God is granting my family a lot of injustice lately. When I look my kids I can’t help thinking… what an injustice, I don’t deserve this awesome family. Even as a family, there is so much good stuff happening to us and all around us we’re kind of left simply shrugging our shoulders and pointing at the “big guy” and admitting… “we’re with Him.” God is comping us on little things (stuff) and big stuff (a family who choses to honor God with what they do) and the only word I can use to describe it is overwhelming injustice.

  • Finding a church home: Kaleo Church

    Our first stop on the search took us to Kaleo Church that meets at the AMC 20 in the Mission Valley Mall. Obviously, this being the first one we’ve visited it was pretty high on our list of places to explore.

    And we weren’t disappointed. Parking is a non-issue obviously. The location is easy enough to get to and was just 1.4 miles from the hotel. I think this campus would be roughly 10 miles from our new house… so a little far for our liking. But they also do something closer to us on the campus of San Diego State University that we may want to check out as well.

    I don’t really have a format to these “reviews,” so I am making it up.

    First impressions. I kind of dig the movie theater thing. Reminds me of Granger when it first started. It’s informal and comfortable to me. I could see myself easily inviting people to a movie theater. We were greeted by a few official greeter people and since we were awkwardly early for SoCal (15 minutes before service) there was absolutely no one in the auditorium! Thankfully Kate [wicked good violinist] was uber friendly and showed us where to take the kids. Boy were the kids happy they didn’t have to sit through the whole service.

    They seem pretty confident in their format. I like confidence. While it was odd there was no soft buffer music for those of us who came early, I was perfectly comfortable chilling with Kristen while the countdown clock was on.

    The service. It was very chill, but not overly chill in that the people up front came across as unprepared. The service order was very simple. 2-3 songs at the beginning, a message, 1-2 songs at the end with communion pretty much ending things. There were some short announcements at the beginning. But other than that it was a very basic service. Did I miss an offering? If they did it I didn’t notice. The lack of lighting, video, or even mics at times was both cool and different. For this group simplicity worked.
    Environmentally I don’t think they take full advantage of the space… but that’s OK and wasn’t annoying. I think their simple style reflects their values without coming across as bland.

    I really liked the style of the band though I’d never heard any of the songs. I gathered that a husband/wife team lead the band and we sang originals. Stylistically, I can’t quite label it… Hawaiian maybe? Very cool and raw sound. No production elements whatsoever for worship times. For my comfort level I could have dealt with a little Tomlin or Crowder mixed in, but the worship was… worshipful. So that’s good.

    The message. Yikes, I have to admit I wasn’t prepared for the depth. I had listened to parts of a couple of recent messages so I knew I would like the style of the primary preaching elder, David (I think that’s his name.) I liked that the message was designed in a way that acknowledged my intelligence and yet made me think. It was conversational, he even stopped a few times to ask for thoughts. It was very personal to the audience, a few moments he directed certain portions to individuals in the church that a segment applied to. If I had to find something negative it is that it felt a little like a college lecture. I don’t know if that’s a bad thing at all… just an observation.

    It was a tough passage (one I’ve always shied away from preaching) so I am not certain if that led to the length of the message… maybe 50 minutes? (Matthew 13) If I were designing the service I’d shoot for a little less preaching, but it seemed like he preached until he was done. The message only felt long at the end when he prayed… FOREVER! (Take that with a grain of salt as I’m trying to be “picky” here. How can you rush prayer?)

    I can’t really compare the message to anyone else I’ve heard. Definitely not “feel good, one big idea” like Andy Stanley and not quite “holy cow that’s a lot of stuff” like John Piper. But more leaning towards Piper than Stanley. If I knew more about Mark Driscoll I’d guess it was more like him.

    The church. One thing Kristen and I strongly identify with Kaleo is its mission. They are seemingly passionate about reaching the community. I noticed on their website they have a new ministry to exotic dancers as well as a homeless outreach and several other community projects. I liked feeling as though I could likely contribute something to Kaleo if God wanted us to partner with them.

    One thing I like is that Kaleo is a church plant of the Acts 29 network. While I don’t think we’re 100% exactly matching their theology… it is quite solid. If we proceed I’m going to really understand their position on women [not] in ministry as well as a couple other positional differences. But no deal breakers that I know of. But I know a couple other Acts 29 planters and a little bit of networking goes a long way to gaining credibility in my world.

    Kids ministry. Being selfish parents… kids ministry is pretty important to us. It was a big deal that the kids both wanted to go back. Megan asked several times throughout the day if we could go back to that church. “I know we want to look at a few churches before we decide, but I really liked the people there.” Megan even told me “it was awesome” during lunch. She is a pretty shy girl, so she must have really connected with the leaders and kids to say that.

    Paul… he was bored and hungry when we picked him up. It’s no surprise he was hungry as he’s always hungry. And I don’t think he was really all that bored. When I asked him later in the day if he’d like to go back to the “movie theater church” he asked if he could go back and told me he really liked it there. One thing they both liked was that the kids got to come into “big church” for the worship portion of the service. I also noticed that most of the parents seemed to go get their kids and bring them to the end of the service with them… we’d probably do that again.

    Overall. Kristen and I really liked what we saw. From a first impression standpoint we really dug the service and it made us curious about the church. We will definitely come back when we move out in a few weeks and give it a second look. I’d be quite interested to see how school starting effects both the attendance and demographics of the congregation. I think there were about 100-150 people in the service this morning. (I could have been WAY off too as Kristen and I sat about 5 rows to the front.) Age wise, we’re in our early 30s with kids… and we felt a little high on the age radar. I felt like we could definitely connect with some of the other couples, maybe even get involved somehow in mentoring the engaged/young marrieds. The young demographic is not a bad thing at all! It was also noticeable that they don’t have any student ministry of any kind. 10 years as a youth pastor and that stuck out like a sore thumb. At the same time, if you aren’t ready for student ministry it’s best to just allow someone who is to do that. With that said my mind started to wander and wonder… “I bet they could do a service at the same time for high schoolers.”

    As Kristen and I made our way to the food court after church we both agreed, Kaleo’s service was definitely heartfelt and decidedly not fake. That’s a great impression to leave on two “battle tested” church staffers. We’ve been inside the walls enough at church to smell fake.

    Follow-up. I filled out the card and talked to someone after the service. Actually, I thought it was cool that a couple of other new people introduced themselves to us. They just moved here from Texas and have been going to Kaleo about a month… that conversation awkwardly died… but yeah, it was cool new people said hello to newer people. So I’ll just wait and see if/what we get for follow-up.

  • Last day

    We’re back from church. (More on that later) Today is our last day in San Diego and the family is sad to go home. I suppose that means that the week was a success.

    We wanted the kids to come out here so they wouldn’t be afraid to move. They’d get a part in picking a new house, new church, new school, meet some new people, see some sites, and basically get a feel for the new community.

    In a few minutes we’re leaving for our “last trip” to the beach. I think it’s our 5th trip this week. Clearly the family likes sand, surf, and people watching. And the thing that has the family all charged up is that it is our last trip to the beach.. for 2-3 weeks until we’re back permanently in August.