Category: family
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Checking in with Megan and Paul
School has been in session for a couple weeks now, here’s how they are doing.
Megan loves her teacher. And who wouldn’t? Her teacher is very cool… even if I can never remember her name. Of course, she is doing great. The first spelling test she got 25 of 25 words correct. (Only one in her class.) She’s your typical first born as she always has to be the best. The school also has some rewards built in that she is hooked on. There are behavior rewards and she has 7… she claims this is more than anyone else in 2nd grade. They have a regular assembly and she is shooting to have her name called. They also have a physical fitness reward. For every 20 laps you run before school starts you get a necklace. She got her first one yesterday. We’ve not heard about her having any good friends yet, so we keep praying for that. Yet she is like her mom/dad, not the easiest person to let her guard down enough to get close to.
Paul is also loving his teacher, Mrs. Cohen. Each day Paul tells me all about his day. What he did, what he learned, what was for lunch, and what he did at each of his 3 recesses. (All day kindergarten) Paul is learning all about letters and math and other cool things. His teacher has picked up on his baby talk, so we think Paul’s going to get hooked up with a little speach therepy. (Got the eval coming, trying not to freak out about the “special ed label” to that.) Paul’s a lot like me in kindergarten… it’s all heavenly. Last night before bed Paul asked what day today was. When we told him it would be Wednesday in the morning and he had a full day of school he raised his hands above his head and ran off to bed, “I can’t wait!” I will remind him of that moment in 12 years.
Kristen and I really like Darnall. First of all, it’s in our neighborhood and we’re all about getting to know people in the neighborhood. Second, it’s a charter school. I’m digging that we’re not deeply involved in the corruption and crappy politics of Romeo. And the uniform thing… it’s so not a big deal to them now that school started.
Long story short, the kids are settling in and the learning has begun for this year. Praise God for a smooth transition.
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Finding a church home: We think we’ve found it
For the first time in our adult life Kristen and I have had the chance to find a church with a tabula rosa. Well, that’s a sensationalist way to look at it since we’ve made the choice before but it was always complicated because it was both a church decision and an employment decision. And at least once (Oroville) we worked at a church we wouldn’t have attended if they had not paid us.For the past several weeks we’ve been researching, praying, talking, and visiting churches. An interesting part of our search is that we’ve been able to accelerate it because of the internets. (And the Google, as President Bush calls it) Being a web dude, I instantly recognized that there was a correlation between how much I liked a church’s website and how much I liked their church. It may seem like an odd thing to compare to… but a good church has a good website because they recognize it as a powerful representation of their community. Plus, we were able to week out a lot of places simply by listening to the sermons online. You can tell a lot about a church by their messages. Anyway, just a random observation.
When we set out on this process we were evaluating churches based on a few criteria. (non-negotiables)
#1 Teaches biblical truth
#2 Kids are important
#3 Expectation that we’ll get involved, but respects that this may take time
#4 Practically passionate about the community we live in
#5 Values its people, all of ’em
Enter Harbor Church Mid City. Last Sunday we visited and yesterday Kristen and I had the opportunity to sit down and chat with the lead guy, Stephen and his wife Bradford. When Kristen and I went last week we were blown away by the spirit of this church. Sure, empirically speaking it hits all 5 of the things we want in a church… but let’s face the fact that connecting to a church is an emotional experience. And church last week felt like home. (And it helped that this was a big celebration service and vision casting day.)
What makes Harbor different from a lot of places we evaluated is its unique design. In the DNA of the church is a desire to reach neighborhoods with the Gospel. This isn’t just a Gospel of words but also a Gospel of social change, mercy, and justice to restore what’s broken eternally and today. Stephen explained that the goal of Harbor (it’s part of a team church planting effort) is to launch about 100 churches in the San Diego/Tijuana area over the next 20 years. In church growth models, they are a multi-site strategy “big church of little communities” idea. So all over the area are linked bodies part of a larger church with the hope of adding a lot more little communities in neighborhoods as opposed to growing one regional monster campus.
I have to be honest… the big vision for San Diego is interesting but we really just care about our neighborhood! And we witnessed first hand that practically living out. We’ve heard a lot of churches say they want to be diverse but few actually pull it off. As we look around our neighborhood we recognize that these working class folks represent tons of cultures, races, dreams, and hardships. And it was refreshing to see that translated on Sunday morning.
This is a church who loves kids. As Stephen and I chatted we talked about reaching the lost kids of the community more than we talked about discipling our own. For Kristen and I this echos our hearts. As much as we value a strong children’s program we long to see the two-fold model of evangelism/discipleship lived out in our family from an early age. We recognize that if we want our kids to catch a vision for reaching their peers they need to see mom & dad modeling that behavior. The very fact that the church meets on a school campus and has several active outreaches/ministries/supports within that same campus tells us a lot about the heart of the people. You can’t help thinking about the school’s kids as you worship in their building!
The church values its people, all of them. One thing that I really like is the strong sense of mission. Like the best missions the core of Harbor craddles the reality that indigenous people are best at reaching their people. So rather than “the experts” the staff seem to position themselves as the enablers. Stephen described this as being a coach rather than a player. And as you think about that analogy you recognize that the coach is powerless in determining the outcome of the game. (Not to devalue life by calling it a game.) Instead, being the coach empowers the people to be the players and also clearly communicates that the mission can only be accomplished when the players play. In most cases, the coach was/is a great player who may feel as it is easier to “do it myself” in order to guarantee a win. But a coach willingly allows others to learn their position and represent the team to the measure of thier ability to play. To hear the leadership describe themselves as a coach rather than a player is powerful in our decision.
All that to say, we think we’ve found it. As Kristen and I left we were entirely comfortable in telling the kids that this is the place. In the weeks and months to come we’ll gradually get more into the lifeblood of what’s going on. But for now we’re happy to begin the process of making friends.
A couple other random things I like about Harbor:
– Structurally, they have a central office which does all the admin stuff. This leaves the ministry staff to do ministry and not worry about details like a bulletin or paying bills.
– They’ve partnered/joined forces with World Impact to reach the neighborhood. It’s always a good sign when you see an organization attracting other Christian organizations staff members to attend.
– They dig student ministry. As it fits, I am looking forward to getting involved with students again. I’m not going to wiggle my way into this… but if they want me to help I’ll gladly jump in.
– Kristen is jazzed about some things they are doing… but really got excited to hear them talking about a babysitting co-op!
– I like the words “incarnational living” and “community development.”
– Stephen and Bradford like college football. I think it’s a sign.
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San Diego Living
Paul is adjusting It’s been nearly a month since Megan, Stoney, and I packed the car to drive off across America. And it’s been 4 weeks now that we’ve been living in our San Diego house… not quite a month but closing in on it.
So how is it going? In a nutshell it’s going great. We are slowly getting used to a different lifestyle in Southern California. In some ways SoCal is foreign to us and in other ways we feel like we blend in.
Here’s a typical day in our house. We get up at about 6:15. That’s after a restless night of sleep… the sprinklers still wake us up at 4:00 AM every morning. Technically either Kristen or I gets up at 5:30 to head to the gym depending on who’s day it is. So days start early.
Mornings are quiet. We make coffee. I like to sit on the back patio and watch the animals explore the yard while doing my morning internet rituals. Eventually the kids get up and we start getting them ready for school. Around 7:40 I leave for the office while Kristen gets ready to march the kids up the hill to school.
Days at YS are pretty much like work anywhere else. Everyone tries to get stuff done between meetings, we go to lunch, and then we do more work between meetings. It just so happens that the work and meetings I am doing are the most enjoyable stuff I’ve ever done.. but other than that it is pretty similar to working anywhere else in my life.
Somewhere between 4:30 and 5:30 I head home. On days Kristen keeps the car she comes to get me while other days I just drive home while listening to NPR. (How is this different from life in Romeo again?) I love it when Kristen comes to pick me up as the kids actually come into the office to find me. They love YS! It’s full of people who love talking to them as well as a big candy jar by the front desk. They bring the fun and then steal me to go home.
The evenings are pretty basic. We have dinner, we walk the dog, we watch some TV, we go to bed. At least once a week I like to take the dog to the beach so he can run around and smell other dogs butts, chase other dogs, and pretty much just run free at Dog Beach without a leash.
We go to bed pretty early.
Weekends. Friday night has become our family date night. We try to take the kids somewhere fun… we may introduce a movie to this night as Fall progresses. On either Saturday or Sunday we go to the beach. Other than that we don’t do much. Even when we go to the beach we’re only going for 2-3 hours. For some reason we’ve started the habit of going at about 2 and leaving by about 5. That seems to be just enough time for us.
Dear Lord, Kristen and I need our date night back. It’s nice with the kids but… yeah.
So what’s different? The big point of contrast is that our lives are so simple. Life has really slowed down for me. (Conventions are coming!) In Romeo I was always running somewhere. Either for the church or YMX or family stuff… I never got to just chill out. So far it’s been nice to “reset” and just enjoy the cool breezes on the porch, watch the birds in the trees, spy on the cat eating something in the yard, etc.
Other things are very different. San Diego is a true melting pot. There are oodles of other cultures everywhere you go. I have been comparing San Diego (in my mind) to a bunch of European cities I’ve visited. Lots of languages, lots of types of foods, lots of polite “I have no idea what to say” smiles in shops. The abundance of ethnic foods is awesome.
I dig the weather… I mean, who doesn’t? Mornings are typically overcast with a “marine layer” and sometimes that means it is foggy. So mornings will have near 100% humidity until that burns off. When the sun comes out just before lunch it warms up and true Southern California emerges. It gets to about 90 at the YS offices… but never seems to be above 80 at home.
I’ve mentioned the beach several times because I like going there so much. Each time I drive down there I have this “I live here” moment! The waves are typically calm enough the splash around in and the water isn’t warm like in Florida… but so far it’s been warm enough to swim in.
What else is different? Well, we live in a city now. So yards are smaller, houses are smaller, cars are smaller… pretty much everything is smaller and more dense. It is weird to hear your neighbors talking. We have a neighbor who regularly has karaoke nights… that’s fun right there.
We live near San Diego State so sometimes we get exposed to gems like Kristen uncovered the other day at the store. Generally, food is cheaper but everything else is more expensive than in Michigan. Tropical plants are different than Michigan… we have a massive ficus tree in our backyard that would only be 4 feet tall in someone’s house in Macomb County.
This may be the most rambling post of my life. 900 words. Yikes. 901. 902.
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Ode to the Remote
Around the McLane house we have a unique ability to lose the remote. I always blame it on the kids, yet half the time it’s my fault. I’ll get up to go to the kitchen or head to bed and I think it stays in my hands.But I’m convinced that sometimes the remote is like a sea creature. When we aren’t looking the shell pops open and it’s little wormy body slides out and drags it into a crevice somewhere to hide. Sure, if we forage we always find it. But I think that creature on the inside of our remote just lngs to eat the Fruit Loops and Cheerios it finds in those crevices.
My only other theory is that Kristen hides it from me.
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Finding a church home: Journey Community Church
Several weeks ago I shared that our family would document the church search process. And this past weekend that search continued as we attended Journey Community Church in La Mesa. It’s worth pointing out right away that a ton of people I work with go to Journey and suggested that we check it out. Everyone at work says the same thing, “I love Journey.” With that ringing endorsement… why not visit?
First impressions: Journey recently bought a shopping center. So their campus is spread around in a typical California shopping center kind of way. (For you midwesterners, this means that its designed like a mall, but the walkways aren’t indoors.)
As we pulled into the parking lot Kristen told me “if you flash your lights at a parking attendant they’ll know you are a visitor and you can park in the front row.” Apparently, she read that on the website. As soon as she said this I swerved to park back by the student center. Getting out of the car, the kids could tell this didn’t look very much like a church. In fact, Paul said “can we go to a regular church next week?” (Kaleo meets in a movie theater.) So we walked to what looked like the main building and started looking for signs to the kids area.
When we got to the lobby we were pointed towards the kids registration area. So far, so good! As we made our way through the maze of hallways we saw lots of pictures of things the church had recently done, I liked that a lot. (Good to know they do stuff today.) The child check-in process was painless enough. After checkin the desk printed some badges for the kids and we were led upstairs to the kids rooms.
The kids rooms were well stocked and the staff was clearly well-trained. Our kids were nervous, Paul particularly, and they were fine with us giving them a little extra attention before we headed to the service.
From there, Kristen and I made our way to “big church” for the 9:00 AM service. The room has a lot of very comfortable chairs, the room is laid out a lot like a typical conference room. Big sections of seats, bleachers near the back, big stage, and two big screens so people in the back can see.
The service. The music was familiar to us. In fact, the order of service was pretty familiar to us as well and we found comfort in that. Couple songs, announcements, shake some hands, couple more songs, offering, song, sermon, song. The music was good, nothing about it really captured my attention strikingly good or bad. If nothing else, the songs were performed fairly closely to how they are recorded. It was clear when we came in that they were trying to do something artistic in the room that day. There were several prayer stations in the auditorium. Let’s see, lighting was good, display of stuff on the screen was good, sound was good. From a technical aspect the only thing that was distracting was that their transitions were pretty rough leaving the service feeling very disconnected from its elements choppy. Plus, the very fact that I was sitting there thinking about the service order, lighting, set design, and transitions should tell you a lot about the service.
The message. Clearly the people like the teaching pastor. I found him to be an acquired taste and struggled to pay attention for longer than a minute or two at a time. The people listened intently and followed along on the outline diligently. (Well trained!) About 10 minutes in Kristen leaned over and said what I was thinking, “Can we get something in the middle?” This meant at Kaleo the sermons are so deep that it’s easy to get lost but at Journey it just felt very light. Not knowing the mission of the church its impossible to know if this teaching approach is right for this fellowship and the people they reach, but I’m just being honest in reporting that I didn’t connect with the message or the teaching pastor at all. His message ended with a transition to some prayer stations. It was really clear to me that there was a disconnect between the preparation of the prayer stations (art guy) and the communicator/instruction of the prayer stations. (teaching guy) When the speaker told people to get up and shuffle to the stations I looked at Kristen and just said, “Let’s go!” Yep, we bolted.
The church. It was really hard to grasp the heart of Journey in one visit. It’s a big church with a ton of people and a ton of things going on. I know from people who attend that it’s a very loving church and people grow a lot in small groups. In our visit, we didn’t feel the love. (yet) What came across to Kristen and I is that Journey is a programmatic church. You can see that in the kiosks and the endless bulletin. Now, there is nothing wrong with a programmatic church where there is something for everyone. Certainly, a lot of churches operate this way and are successful in reaching people. But not having been to one in a long time… it was a shock to the system! I kept thinking… where in the world would we start?
Kids ministry. Our kids were happy. They told us all about the reward system of verse memory. They told us about the game. They showed us their crafts. They talked about how nice the teachers were. They told us they sang songs, but couldn’t remember what the songs were. Paul didn’t like the puppets but did like a guy dressed like an astronaut or something like that. (Did this really happen?) But when we asked them what they learned about God they looked blankly at us and said “I don’t know.” This is our families normal routine as we talk about what they learned in church… they are really good about telling us what they learned. But for some reason the lesson didn’t stick and 10 minutes after leaving they couldn’t remember. But they did get a nice goodie bag and were very entertained by that.
Overall. Let’s just say that I’m glad our process requires a second visit as we feel it’s not right to judge a ministry based on a single visit. Likewise, we know from our friends who a involved that this is a great community to be a part of. Yet, judging from Sunday services alone you can tell where this review would lead a decision for us. Let’s hope on our second visit we’ll get to meet a few people and get better connected to the heart of Journey.
A HUGE upside to Journey is that I know they have a rocking student ministry. Since we don’t have kids in that age bracket I didn’t get to see that in action. I’ve been in the middle school room, met the middle school pastor, and met a few of her volunteer staff… so when push comes to shove, I’m a youth ministry dude and having a great youth ministry is going to trump a lot of other stuff.
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First Day of School
It’s safe to say the kids are jacked up and ready to go for their first day of school. Megan came out of her loft this morning wearing her school uniform and Paul came out of their bedroom carrying his backpack and lunch box.It’s quite a change from Amanda Moore in Romeo. First of all, we’re actually closer to school than we were in Romeo. Darnall Charter School is about 2 blocks up the hill. (Yes, we’re so close we know we’ll be late often!)
Even if the kids aren’t nervous, I am for them. It’s one thing for dad to have this dream that his kids will grow up in an economically and culturally diverse climate. It’s another thing to send them off to it for the first time.
For Megan, this is old hat. She loved kindergarten and 1st grade and we have high hopes for second grades challenges. My hope for her is that she’ll meet some girls to connect with right away. No one is complaining, but I can tell the whole family is in need of some friends. (I’ve got built in people to hang with at work.) Every grade she matures I get a little more worried about social pressures to conform. Megan is the type of kid where she is oblivious to most of the bad stuff happening and just focuses on her stuff. She is like her mom in that! Kristen went to a large high school in suburban Philadelphia and swears there weren’t any kids doing drugs or having sex. Megan was born with that same set of blinders… it’s a great thing!For Paul, this is brand new! Mom and dad are more nervous for the first day of kindergarten than he is. He’s been correcting me for the last two weeks. I typically call him “little man” since he’s pretty much a smaller version of me. Now I’m supposed to call him “big man” since he is in school. I’m nervous for him since he’s not done super well in Sunday school and we didn’t enroll him in preschool. (Combination of it just being easier to keep him home and we didn’t have the extra money to pay for it.) He’s a lot like his daddy. The actual educational part of school was never a problem for me and I don’t think it will be for Paul. But he was born with my “adamant adam” genes. It all has to do with his connection to his teacher. He met her last week and seemed to really like her. But that will be tested when he hears there are rules and that he’ll have to obey them. I keep saying to myself, “It’ll be fine.” But something tells me that I’ll be a frequent visitor to the principals office.
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Photo Post: Padres Game
I think he’s the 3rd base coach
3rd Base Coach Talks to a Runner
Everybody Dance!
No idea who this is
Synchronized dusting
This is the sad part of the picture
Full of nachos, lemonaide, and cotton candy the boy is out
Down by 5, not sure the urgency
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Ikea Trip
We made our second trip to Ikea this week last night. The first trip was a scouting trip, and this one was a hunting trip. We had a pretty good idea what we wanted, it was just a matter of going to get it.
All told, we got a coffee table, tv stand, computer desk, 2 arm chairs, a sofa, and 2 loft beds. It was a trip. Once we got to the self-service area we acquired a couple big carts. We quickly realized that that wasn’t going to be enough. By the end we had 3 carts totally stuffed and crawling to the cashier! Let’s just say they were happy to see la familia de McLane.
We brought home the 2 arm chairs with us, but the rest is getting delivered on Wednesday.
The point here isn’t what we bought or that we went as a family. The point is that we will soon have some furniture! It’s been a couple of weeks since we’ve been able to sit on normal things like a sofa, chairs, or even a bed that wasn’t on the floor. I know we are fortunate and that there are many people in the world who will never have such luxuries in their lifetime, but we are greatly looking forward to getting off of the floor.
