Category: family

  • Sunday Normalness

    torreypinesPretty much every Sunday is the same for our family. It’s our new normal and we love it. For the first time in my adult life I have weekends off… and I’m still enjoying the novelty of it. Here’s what a typical Sunday looks like.

    7:00- Everyone up. We don’t set alarms, but we all get woken up by hungry animals.The pace of our morning is extremely slow. With 3+ hours until church we hang in our PJs for as long as possible. The kids usually play quietly while mom and dad enjoy coffee and just enjoy the morning.

    8:30- Dad and Paul head over to Yum Yum Donuts about a mile away to hunt & gather some donuts. Typically, we get 6 donuts and a bag of donut holes.

    10:00- We leave for church. Old habits die hard… so we’re always there a little too early. (Californians are notoriously late for church; the cool kids come late.) This is the part that astonishes me… I just go to church. It took some intentional pulling back but I now do nothing on Sunday mornings but attend services.

    12:30- We leave church and head for home. Sometimes we go out sometimes we don’t. But there’s no hard and fast rule for going out like before. We’ve been to Chili’s exactly once since moving to California! (In Romeo we went almost every week.)

    2:00- We’re done with Sunday running around. No evening meetings. No youth group. Nada. We have the rest of the day to ourselves.

    When it’s warm outside we are in the habit of going to the beach after church. We run home, grab a quick lunch, and pack up the car with all of our stuff. But that hasn’t happened since October. We’re hoping for the beach routine to come back in April!

    It’s taken us a few months… but I finally feel like we’re hitting a healthy stride for Sunday’s. From the donut routine, to “just going to church,” to doing something simple and fun. Our family is actually starting to look forward to Sunday coming again!

  • Pet Resue Works

    This is Stoney. In my mind he is the poster dog for adopting from a rescue shelter.

    Stoney joined our family in October 2005, just a month after we bought our house in Romeo. We had a half acre of grass that was fully fenced and it was screaming for a dog to patrol it.

    After looking around a little, we decided to check out K-9 Stray Rescue League in Oxford, Michigan. We liked the idea of adopting a dog who had gotten lost and finding him a new home. We especially liked that this shelter rescued dogs from other shelters who were going to put unwanted dogs to sleep.

    I can’t lie. We went to look for a dog hoping for a beagle. I’ve always wanted one… heck, I still do! But after walking around the shelter we knew we had to adopt one of the larger breeds they had in abundance. We had actually picked out a female yellow lab first. But the attendant looked at our family and said, “There’s a really nice male you need to check out. But he’s down at PetCo in Auburn Hills right now.” As soon as we met him Kristen gave me “the look” and our hearts just melted for him.

    All the way home we debated names. The kids wanted something like “yellow” or some other descriptive name you’d expect from a 4 and 2 year old. But I managed to convince them that we should name our dog after a favorite park, Stoney Creek. His name has since morphed to it’s permanent name… Stoney J. Baloney McLane.

    Today, I took Stoney to the dog beach down in Ocean Beach. Stoney is still transitioning into a west coast style of January. A year ago I’d throw his ball in the backyard and watch him lop through foot deep snow to find the spot where the ball disappeared into the snow. As he chased the tennis ball, other dogs, and did all sorts of dog business it suddenly dawned on me. He is both a great dog and a very fortunate beast.

    I kind of wonder what he thinks of sometimes. A crazy family who first gave him a great yard than one day told him “car ride” and drove him 2500 miles west and south? Does he wonder if he’ll get to go back there and dig up all his old bones? Or does he just try to forget about yesterday and focus on the present?

    Does he think about the family who first bought him? Does he think about the day he ran away from them and got lost? Does he think about his time at the Humane Society in rural Michigan? Does he wonder about the other 100 dogs from the K-9 shelter?

    Stoney is a great dog. He is disciplined and gentle. His worst habit is waking us up at dawn to let us know it’s time for his daily meal. He rarely barks, and when he does we trust it is for a good reason. He even likes the family cat, Lovely.

    I don’t know if you’re in the market for a family beast. But if you are, let me remind you that there are shelters everywhere filled to the gills with pets of all shapes and sizes. Puppies and kittens are great. But slightly “used” animals are still fantastic.

  • Back to School Day!

    For our kids, today is the first day back to school from winter break. Since they are on a year-round schedule their last day was December 19th. Kristen and I are especially thankful for our flexible work situations. I have the opportunity to work from home at least a day per week and so does Kristen. Along those lines, between my Christmas vacation time and Kristen’s parents coming to town, we really only had 6-7 work days where either Kristen or I had to flex our schedule.

    It was a fun break for them. They had lots of visitors. They got to go to lots of cool places like the beach, Birch Aquarium, Cabrillo, and about a hundred other places which I forgot. And we used this time to draw a line in the sand on some discipline things which will hopefully help mom and dad in the months to come. (It is a fact, our kids are normal!)

    So, today we are back to the family routine.

    7:00 AM Everybody up. Mom takes her shower and the everyone else rubs their eyes and does early morning trance walks around the house.

    7:30 AM Breakfast for the kids, coffee for the ‘rents.

    7:45 AM Everybody dressed, except dad who usually starts his morning blog routine at 7:15.

    8:15 AM School uniforms on, mom marches the kids up the hill. Dad publishes whatever he is working on and gets showered/dressed for work. (Hey, I’m a dude… only takes me a minute or two.)

    8:30 AM Kristen comes back and we drive to the YS offices.

    8:45 AM Kristen drops me off and heads to her office. (Sometimes this is reversed.)

    2:00 PM Either mom or dad leaves work. Since Kristen’s job is PT right now… that’s usually mom.

    2:40 PM Paul gets out of school.

    2:50 PM Megan gets out of school.

    3:00 PM Home, snacks and homework for everyone.

    5:30 PM Go get dad from work. Sometimes earlier or later.

    6:30 PM Dinner, play time, TV time, etc.

    8:00 PM Kids bed time.

    It has been fun having them home. This is our first go-round with a year round school and we are already stressing out about what to do in April for their 3-week break and July for their 6-week break… but so far we like it.

    We need a regular sitter. Bad! Either that or we need to adopt a teenage girl to live with us and watch the kids when they come home. With my crazy schedule and Kristen getting more and more hours reality is setting in… we can’t do it alone!

  • Tammy

    The other day I was driving our truck on the way to pick up Kristen from work. Megan and Paul were in a mood and bickering in the backseat. Among other things Megan was kicking the front seat, annoying my passenger while laughing when I told her to stop. Dave, our house guest, was being good in the front with me.

    In a moment of sheer evil I piped up over the bickering and told the kids a story. “Hey guys, did daddy ever tell you about our other daughter?” Dead silence filled the car. “Yeah, she came before you Megan. (7 years old) One day we were driving along and she was being naughty. She wouldn’t stop kicking mommy’s seat and she wouldn’t listen to daddy when he told her to stop. So daddy stopped the car and left her on the side of the road. Then we had you two. You wouldn’t want to be like Tammy, would you?”

    There are a few moments in parenting when you’re certain you’ve said something that your kids will spend their twenties telling a counselor about. This was one of them.

    Thankfully Megan saw right through it. So did Paul. (5 years old.) Megan said, “Daddy, that’s not true. You’re just trying to get us to stop being bad.” Paul chimed in, “Tammy isn’t real.” [pause] “Is she?”

    Laughter filled the cab and Dave exhaled loudly. He couldn’t believe I’d made up such a horrible tale!

    I think Tammy may be around for a while too. Tonight, as Kristen was putting the kids to bed and reading about Joseph, Megan had an aha moment. “So Joseph was kind of like Tammy, right? An annoying member of the family that everyone wanted to get rid of?” Kristen somehow kept it together and agreed with her.

    Then, as Kristen climbed out of Megan’s bed, my little girl had to get the last word.

    Megan: “Why did Tammy cross the highway?”

    Mom: “I don’t know, why?”

    Megan: “To get to the other side after daddy left her.”

    I never claimed to be parent of the year.

  • Excited about 2009

    As far as years go 2008 has been a crazy one. The year started off with me gasping for air between rounds of Kidstown events and ended with a long time of rest and reflection after moving our family across the country and launching myself in a new direction. To quote Mike Yaconelli, “What a ride!”

    As 2008 takes it’s last spin on the disco ball known as Earth I wanted to record a few of the things I’m excited about for 2009.

    #1 A simpler life continuing. It may sound weird that moving into an urban setting, Kristen taking a job, and both kids now in elementary school is actually simpler for us, but it is. Unlike before, we’re living within our means and building healthy boundaries between our work, play, jobs, and church life.

    #2 To social media and beyond! I’m looking forward to the two-fold reality of getting deeper into the social media scene while at the same time venturing into new things.

    #3 A hobby with my wife. For the first time in our relationship Kristen and I have purposed to do something together. Those who know us know how true it is that we often have had different worlds. Purposing to have the same hobby of Beyond The Zoo is going to bring us closer together.

    #4 Golf. After a 3 year sabbatical from the game I will be resolving to get my game back in shape. I’d love to find a league or a volunteer opportunity to force me to play. How in the world could a lifelong golfer live in San Diego and not play?

    #5 A vacation. No idea where we are headed or what we will do. But the family will definitely require a trip somewhere.

    #6 A new place to live. Our lease is up in February and we’ve already told our landlady we intend to move. That said, we’re starting to look at places in the SDSU area, City Heights, Rolando, Kensington, or somewhere else near our church. We need more space.

    #7 New stuff at Youth Ministry Exchange. Starting soon I will have a weekly column ay YMX. After kicking around a lot of ideas I’ve decided to stick with my passion. It’s going to be a weekly encouragement. Recognizing how little worship and preaching most of us hear as we lead the students… I hope it’s helpful to fill a tiny bit of the void. Plus, YMX’s main site has a brand new look we’re popping out soon.

    #8 Some cool stuff at YS. Now that I’m not “the new guy” anymore it’s fun to be around some of our things from genesis through release. I’m excited about increasing my impact at work in 2009. More importantly, I am still shocked that God has allowed me the ability to impact the lives of youth workers through YS. Gosh, that is too cool.

    #9 Unloading the Michigan homestead. Hard to believe that our house in Romeo has been vacant since the first week of August. We have a buyer and we’re waiting on the banks to do their thing. Originally, we had hoped that we’d be done with the house by the close of 2008. One way or the other, we will be done with the house in 2009.

    #10 Kid Stuff. Megan and Paul have hit the age where childhood hits the afterburner and starts to speed along. Blogging is awesome in that I get to capture little snapshots, literally and figurately, of their lives for posterity sake. Both of their personalities are blossoming and I’m falling deeper and deeper in love with these kids God chose for us.

  • A Favorite Thing About Harbor

    Each Sunday, during the worship service, our church invites all the children to come up and play instruments during one of the songs.

    Too often we push the children of the church away from the adults and I think that’s a real mistake that accidentally sanitizes intergenerational worship. This small action each week is symbolic of a place that provides voice and value to all equally. I love it! The leaders are crazy enough to think that they can change City Heights.


    Pint-Size Jam Session from Kristen McLane on Vimeo.

    HT to Kristen

  • Reigning in Christmas

    This was the 3rd year where Kristen and I really controlled Christmas instead of Christmas controlling us. We’ve always had a desire to keep Christmas in it’s rightful place. It seems like it is finally sinking in and becoming a habit.

    The good news is that anyone can control Christmas!

    Practically, we are celebrating another Christmas paying for everything in cash. (Gasp! You can do that?) Around Thanksgiving Kristen and I discussed how much we wanted to spend and we did a good job sticking to our gift giving budget. (Our big splurge was the new TV. The crazy thing about that is it was the first TV I’d ever bought!)

    We don’t have the best history as far as gift giving goes. Like a lot of couples, we completely overspent for years. In those earlier days of our marriage, when we had more cash flow than wisdom to handle it, we managed to spend way more than we could afford and got used to paying off Christmas debt well into Spring.

    My only encouragement to those who want to make a change is plan early and pay cash. I don’t mean “buy early” as that’s not the best way to get deals. Just plan early and set aside some cash to buy gifts. From there, commit to not dipping into savings or using a credit card.

    Here’s the kicker. We’re less stressed out about it and it gives us a chance to teach our kids about Jesus. Now that Christmas is over I have zero guilt about what we spent. The secret is that the kids are just as happy with fewer, smaller presents, as they were when we spent a lot! The Incarnation didn’t happen so we could get further entrapped! He came to fully release us from bondage. That means the bondage of sin. But it also means that Jesus’ taking on flesh is a reminder that we can be released from our other indebtedness.

    A simpler Christmas is over the top fun. I just hope we can be even more disciplined in 2009.

  • Christmas Photos


    Created with Admarket’s flickrSLiDR.

  • The Anticipation of Christmas

    A shared experience most of us have is waiting for Christmas morning. Wait? Waiting sucks! Christmas may be the one last great place we all wait for something… in a “now” culture, to have something to wait for is a lesson waiting to be taught.

    I remember that my family wasn’t very consistent with Christmas morning. Some years we woke up at the buttcrack of dawn to tear all of our presents open before collapsing for an 8 AM nap. Other years we woke up and had to stay in our rooms while my dad and stepmom made breakfast and made us eat a big breakfast before opening presents. Pure evil torture! My mom only seems to remember one Christmas in relationship to growing up. Her first year as a single mom… she refers to this Christmas a lot as the tree with one strand of lights. We had nothing. I think it broke her heart to know that we had almost nothing to open. But as a kid it wasn’t a big deal! Even as a young married couple, there was a time when the anticipation of Christmas was too much and our “just one” present on Christmas eve turned into opening everything under the tree. We totally ruined Christmas morning in a moment of guilty tearing! Something tells me, as a newlywed couple, that we’d had enough waiting that year! “Forget waiting… we’re free!”

    But I think having kids finally has helped me understand gift giving as anticipation.

    Two thousand years ago the people of the earth yearned in anticipation for the Messiah. Paul captured this feeling of waiting vs. anticipation quite well in Romans 8:

    We know that the whole creation has been groaning as in the pains of childbirth right up to the present time. Not only so, but we ourselves, who have the firstfruits of the Spirit, groan inwardly as we wait eagerly for our adoption as sons, the redemption of our bodies.

    Christmas and gift giving are integrally tied to the anticipation of the moment we discover what we’re receiving. It’s emotional and it’s physical, isn’t it?

    Everyday our kids ask me, “How much more (sic) longer until I get to open my gifts?” and “Tell me what my gifts are!” This is our kids groaning in anticipation of present time!

    The anticipation of Christmas is really a flashback physical experience of the anticipation of 2,000 years ago. The earth groaned for a Messiah… they waited in anticipation. They longed for the Chosen One. The moment of his arrival was precious.

    Silent night, holy night
    All is calm, all is bright
    Round yon Virgin Mother and Child
    Holy Infant so tender and mild
    Sleep in heavenly peace
    Sleep in heavenly peace

    Silent night, holy night!
    Shepherds quake at the sight
    Glories stream from heaven afar
    Heavenly hosts sing Alleluia!
    Christ, the Saviour is born
    Christ, the Saviour is born

    Silent night, holy night
    Son of God, love’s pure light
    Radiant beams from Thy holy face
    With the dawn of redeeming grace
    Jesus, Lord, at Thy birth
    Jesus, Lord, at Thy birth

    I love experiencing Christmas through the eyes of a 5 and 7 year old. Each day they wake up and carefully examine the tree and their stockings to see if anything new has appeared. They each count how many gifts have their name on them. Their anticipation is more than mental, it is physical! They literally groan. “Is it here yet?” On Wednesday night they won’t be able to sleep as the anticipation will be too much! On Thursday morning we will torture them by making them lay in bed while we prepare the living room. In those last few moments it will be real, emotional, PHYSICAL anticipation.

    It’s our job as parents to remind them of that moment. That moment is the real meaning of Christmas. God answered the earth physical anticipation and groaning with the Child.

  • Merry Christmas

    From our family to yours, Merry Christmas.