Category: illustrations

  • What You Water Grows

    photo

    I took this picture in my backyard this morning. It illustrates this thought perfectly. In the middle is our healthy orange tree, to it’s left is a healthy grapefruit tree, if you could see more you’d see another orange tree, a couple peach trees, a mandarin, and lemon tree. And everything else is dirt.

    Being a Midwest boy now living in an coastal arid climate I’ve been fascinated by this simple principle: What you water grows. The rest of our backyard is dirt or dead, dried up weeds. Where I grew up this same effect would be impossible. Weekly rains would ensure that the dirt would become covered in in vegetation. But in our climate, if you don’t water an area… nothing will grow.

    In your life, what you water grows

    Followers of Jesus know this to be true in matters of the heart as well. Jesus said  this, “If anyone is thirsty, let him come to me and drink. Whoever believes in me, as the Scripture has said, streams of living water will flow from within him.” By this he meant the Spirit, whom those who believed in him were later to receive. Up to that time the Spirit had not been given, since Jesus had not yet been glorified.We know that God’s written word is living water to our souls.” Practically speaking, those who spend time contemplating and meditating on Scripture grow– while those who do not, don’t grow. Later Jesus taught his followers why they needed to stay connected to the vine. [fellow believers] “I am the vine; you are the branches. If a man remains in me and I in him, he will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing.” The vine is the source of water and nutrients… stay connected to the vine and you live. Disconnect and you die.

    Are you watering the right things?

    In an arid climate water is a precious commodity. Here in San Diego we live under water restrictions as our fresh water isn’t natural to the area. It is all pumped in from other places! (We have a rainy season [Winter] and a dry season. [Spring, Summer, Fall]) We all have to make choices with the water that we have… what will we allow to grow and what will we allow to die? The same is true in our lives. Professionally, we know we can’t do it all… so what will we give water and see thrive and what will we not water and see die? In our families, we must chose things to water and things to dry out. In our ministries, we must chose which programs and people to water and which to allow to not grow or even willow. Individual believers chose, do I want to be connected to the vine… the source of nutrients and water… or do I want my faith to die by not connecting with other Christians?

    This water thing is pretty deep. After all, the Mediterranean climate is a coastal desert as well. It all ties into the parable of the talents as well, doesn’t it? We’re all given things to manage. And part of being a good manager is deciding what to water and what to let die. You can’t do it all! Chose wisely and water the right things.

  • When life crushes you

    Awesome video. When I saw it I laughed and went “hmm” at the same time. Isn’t it ironic that the thing that cleans and refreshes us… in massive quantities crushes and destroys?

    As an introvert stuck in an extroverts world I often feel relationally crushed by human interaction.     For example, one of my biggest struggles in serving in ministry was the always on nature of events, retreats, and mission trips. I would ache for alone time to reflect on what was happening, but feel crushed by the urgent needs of my students. I’m ashamed that there were moments of imbalance where I would snap at an adult volunteer or student… not because of what they did or said but because they inhabited the space my introverted mind wanted to protect.

    What are the types of things that crush you with their goodness?

    What are some centering activities you do when you feel crushed by things that are meant to refresh and cleanse?

  • Gran Torino Discussion Questions

    Basic CMYKWalt Kowalski is a widower who holds onto his prejudices despite the changes in his Michigan neighborhood and the world around him. Kowalski is a grumpy, tough-minded, unhappy an old man, who can’t get along with either his kids or his neighbors, a Korean War veteran whose prize possession is a 1972 Gran Torino he keeps in mint condition. When his neighbor Thao, a young Hmong teenager under pressure from his gang member cousin, tries to steal his Gran Torino, Kowalski sets out to reform the youth. Drawn against his will into the life of Thao’s family, Kowalski is soon taking steps to protect them from the gangs that infest their neighborhood. link

    Discussion Questions:

    – Why do you think Kowalski stayed in his neighborhood when all of his neighbors had moved to the suburbs?

    – Perhaps the hardest part to stomach of Gran Torino is the repeated use of racial slurs. Do you think Kowalski was a racist?

    – The miscommunication between Kowalski and his sons was epic. Based on what is presented in the movie, what would be some steps the son could have taken to re-open the lines of communication?

    – What changed Kowalski’s opinion of his Hmong neighbors?

    – When confronted with the priest, Kowalski closed the door on his because he was too young to comprehend what Kowalski was going through. Should the priest have honored his parishner’s wishes, tried harder, or done the same as was presented in the movie?

    – Kowalski fathered Thao in a way that he didn’t his own children. Why?

    – The Hmong people celebrated Kowalski as a hero. Was he a hero, a vigilante, or a nutcase?

    – Which character was more righteous, Kowalski or the priest?

    – When Kowalski finally goes to confession, he confesses that he kissed a woman at a cocktail party and that he wasn’t a good father. Do you think there were other burdens that he needed to confess?

    – Kowalski’s actions helped one family in a tough neighborhood. What action could you take to make a change in your nieghborhood?

    – Ultimately, Kowalski embraced his Hmong neighbors, mentored the boy next store, and helped them seek justice where justice could not be found. What does that teach us about our individual responsibilities in the hood we live in?

    – Which character represented the person you’d like to be. Why?

    – Which character exhibited the type of faith you’d like to exhibit in your life?

    – What do you think happened in the neighborhood after the story ends?

  • Rounding 3rd

    softball-gameA few years ago I was on the church softball team. Being a church league for adults it was mostly filled with people who used to be able to play well, but time and a few extra pounds had lowered their skill level down a lot lower than their imaginations thought they were. In other words, most of the teams sucked. And none was worse than ours!

    After a couple of weeks of frustration I started to figure out how to hit. The first 5-6 times up to bat my golf-styled swing lead to easy outs as all I could do was hit the ball right down the fairway… easily gobbled up by the pitcher, 2nd baseman, or center fielder. While watching a few games I made an interesting observation: There were a lot of dropped balls. I noticed that there was a high likelihood that the person playing first base wasn’t going to be able to keep his foot on the bag and catch a poorly thrown ball.

    So I learned to just keep running. In game after game this strategy worked. I’d hit a ground ball to 3rd base and instead of trying to beat out the play I’d just round first and keep running. Time and time again they’d drop the ball or it’d fly over their head and I was off to second or even third.

    The last game of the year, while I was riding to the game with a few other players, I joked that I wasn’t going to stop at third base. I was going to just keep the calamity going all the way home. I had a feeling that if I rounded third the same way I rounded first, I could make it a home run.

    So, true to form our team was down big with just two innings left. I get up and absolutely tee off on a ball that splits the outfielders and one hops to the fence. It’s a stand-up double and I could probably make it to third if I weren’t so out of shape. The third base coach gave me the stop sign at second. But I look at his stop sign and throw caution to the wind… it’s time to go home! As I got close to third I could tell by the way the third basemen was looking that the ball was coming in and he would tag me out. So I rounded third. My locomotion– instead of sliding– caused him to look up for a brief second and he bobbled the ball. Halfway home he tossed the ball to the catcher which made me stop and retreat to third. But wouldn’t you know it? When the catcher tossed the ball back to third, he dropped it and I turned for home… stretching a double into an inside the park home run.

    During my commute yesterday I was thinking about this, I love rounding third. I love the whimsy of finishing stuff off with a bang. Which is a weird statement for a guy who spends a lot of his mental day imagining ideas for projects that will never get done. That might lead you to believe I’m a project start-up kind of guy. Nope, I love seeing that small percentage of ideas come to fruition.

    With three of those “hey, wouldn’t it be cool if” projects just hours, days, or weeks away from completion I’m finding that rounding 3rd base has given me a lot of energy and momentum. I know that locomotion, surprise, and a smile will carry it home from here.

  • The Double Edged Sword of Awe

    geiserWe are all born with a desire for religious experience. God made us this way. Each of us has had experiences in which the only description of our emotions is awe. These are intimate moments between you and God, a person, or a even location or event. While God intended for this awe to be for Him, our humanity doesn’t reserve them to Him exclusively. It’s a human response of deep connectedness. Most often there is a build-up and anticipation to the experience. You want it to happen so bad, it finally does, and the experience overwhelms you because it is better than you’d imagined.

    Here are some awe experiences people mention as the highlights of their lives.

    – Seeing a bear in the wild.

    – Liftoff of the space shuttle.

    – Sexual intimacy

    tiger_17_425x600– Hitting the winning basket, scoring the winning touchdown, nailing the winning putt.

    – Exploring a beautiful coastline in Ireland.

    – Worshipping with thousands of believers at a conference.

    – Meeting God for the first time at a retreat.

    – Starting your own business and earning your first dollar.

    Most often, these are intensely personal moments of awe. The experience defies description and is often too intimate to even talk about. Even during the moment your emotions run high.

    This is the first edge to the sword. It’s a good edge. The pursuit of this high and the after effects/remembrance of this high produce tremendous energy for people. This religious experience forms a deep bond between that individual and that event, object, or person. It is something they shared that was intimate and powerful.

    Industries exist to help people pursue this experience, don’t they? We seek the awe-inspiring moment and wise capitalists provide tours of Ireland and Yellowstone. Religious events build anticipation for these moments knowing that they will draw thousands of seekers. How many clubs, bars, and dance clubs exist for the sole purpose of a common meeting ground for people seeking a sexual experience? On and on.

    But that sword has a second, more dangerous edge to it, doesn’t it? Once you have this religious experience you seek to have it again. I mean, if the high of that moment… seeing the bear… crossing the rope bridge to a tiny island… having a killer day with a new business… sinking the putt to win the big tournament… it will never be the same as the first time.

    In fact, many industries sustain because they know there will always be people who are seeking the second experience. They are in the exhilaration/disappointment business. They know that a weery businessman will lay down tens of thousands of dollars to go on tours of Ireland again. And then when he doesn’t find what he is looking for he will go to Scotland, Iceland, and the Gallapogos. The sex industry exists because people are seeking a more amazing sexual experience than “that amazing time.” Parents will relentlessly drive their children into sports in hopes that one day their kid will have the amazing experience they did of scoring a touchdown to win the big game. Certainly, many youth groups thrive because teenagers are seeking to repeat an intense religious experience they had at a retreat.  Get-rich-quick schemes work because people remember that one time when they made easy money and they want it to happen again.

    The truth is this. The secret is this. The learning point is this. Once you have that amazing moment, don’t try to repeat it. It will never be the same the second time. When you take someone back to that spot… it’ll be awesome for them… but a let-down for you. If you can’t handle that let-down, just let that awesome one-time experience live in your memory.

  • The greatest small group night ever

    ob_small-group1I’ve done small groups in one form or another most of the last 15 years. I’ve been in high school, college, and adult small groups. I’ve lead middle school, high school, college, and adult small groups. I’ve always wanted a small group that gelled and did awesome things… and I could never make it happen as a leader. Just when I had nearly given up on small groups, along came Harbor and my stupid insane idea to say “yes” to hosting this group after visiting a church one time.

    It’s been about 8 months and I can’t imagine a better community group to be a part of. I’m growing. We’re growing. And I think we’re making an impact on the people around us. Moreover, I can’t think of a better church to be a part of in this season of my life. That may sound like hype… but you need to understand what happened tonight to see why I dig Harbor so much.

    Last week we decided that it would be fun to meet at Ocean Beach for a bonfire. For those who read this outside of San Diego all you need to know if that OB is kind of a leftover surfer area full of artists, hippies, beach bums, and those who can afford to live down there who probably secretly wish they were one too. The beach has these fire pits that are open to the public, just bring wood and claim one and you’re good to go.

    ob_small-group2So our group met at 6:30. In typical form everyone brought something. Wood, hotdogs, a cooler full of water, etc. We got our fire going and started to enjoy an awesome sunset laughing and catching up. Then Keith showed up. Keith is a homeless guy who asked if he could sit by the fire. Soon enough another person from our group struck up a conversation like he’d known Keith since grade school. Hotdogs eaten, water drunk, more sunset enjoyed. Pretty soon Keith asked us why we were hanging out at the beach. He didn’t really wince too much when we told him we were a small group from a church. “So, what do you guys talk about?” That’s when Richard pretty much told Keith the entire sermon from the day before. He read all of the Scriptures and then retold him all of the illustrations and all of us agreed… we were pretty much hypocrites and we were construction zones… we all settled on Stephen’s description of “holy mess.” Yeah, that pretty much explains me too.

    Just when we were all settled into a nice quiet moment another person shows up. This sort of thing happens in OB all the time. (This kind of thing happens to our community group all the time as well.) 10 people having a good time on the beach naturally draws others looking for a good time. So a guy walks up with a couple of his friends. “Hey, would you guys mind if I practiced my fire twirling?” Um… no!

    So here we are. A hodgepodge group, a holy mess, huddled around a fire enjoying s’mores, the perfect sunset, waves traveling thousands of miles across the open ocean and crashing on the shore 50 feet in front of us, and a guy with a boom box twirling fire. “This is the best night ever,” Amy says. She’s right. We all exchange high fives. He does his performance while we all look on. His friends are not sitting with us but are cheering him on. After a couple of routines our entertainer comes over to us and says, “You are in for a treat… a lot more people are coming.”

    ob_small-group3Within 15 minutes ten more fire twirlers show up. Each of them has a few of their friends. 20 or so of us huddle around the fire while people with flaming sticks, fireballs, and numbchucks wait their turn to show off their skills. More hotdogs eaten by anyone hungry. More s’mores by those who needed a sugar fix. And our hodgepodge small group, the holy mess, is completely surrounded by awesomeness. We’re all grinning ear to ear.

    Fire twirlers, hippies, girlfriends, and us. I post a couple of pictures and tweets onto Twitter… and my co-worker Mandy and her husband who live in OB come walking over. How could they resist, right? That’s when it hits me: This is the best small group night ever in the history of human existence!

    You can’t put small group mojo in a bottle. You can’t buy community at a conference. All of the training in the world couldn’t put this magic in a bottle and sell it. We’ve got the real deal in our community group and all we can do is enjoy it.

    As Kristen and I pulled out of the parking lot we roared with laughter. We knew full well that in most ministry contexts, including the ones we’ve served in, tonight would be viewed as an utter and complete failure. “What do you mean you had a bonfire? What do you mean you just talked to a homeless man all night? What do you mean you watched people twirl fire? I heard there were people their smoking drugs, is that true?” I’m glad to be a part of a church looks at tonight and screams SUCCESS instead of hides in shame, calling an elder meeting to discuss how to break those people up.

    As I drove home it hit me. The magic of our small group isn’t about an agenda. Don’t get me wrong, our leaders try to keep us moving forward. It’s never been about pounding out curriculum. It’s not about the hottest small group resource or DVD series. All of those things are great and I’m happy to have them. But when a small group hits the stratophere like ours has lately… all of those things just seem irrelevant. We get together. Not as a holy huddle but as a holy mess. We invite others in. It’s infectious. We need each other and we all secretly live for Monday nights. For me, this group is a magnet. Who wouldn’t want to be in a group that dyes Easter eggs one week and hosts Burning Man the next?

  • 3 Things I Don’t Want to Hear From a Pastor…. EVER!

    Now that I’m a regular Joe sitting in the pew on Sunday morning, I’ve gotten a chance to discover some things that are awkward for the audience to hear. In short, I don’t think pastors should say these things… EVER!

    1. Talk about your sex life. How gross is it to hear any 40 something year old man talk about sex with his spouse? It’s especially gross for a pastor to talk about having sex with his wife while she sits and blushes in the audience. And Ed Young, yeah… we know sex is beautiful… but no one wants to know how many times you had sex in a week. I think I just puked in my bulletin.
    2. Talk about your past careers. I know working at a church can pretty redundant and boring. And sometimes you feel like your role is insignificant next to the corporate types who write the big checks. Get over it, you aren’t a _____ anymore. You’re a pastor, your congregation loves you, and we know you could make more money elsewhere. Please don’t remind us of that every week, we don’t care.
    3. Using your kids sin as an illustration. Holy smokes this has got to damage kids self-image. Can you imagine the horror of not only being busted doing something bad but then having your mom or dad tell hundreds… or even thousands of people about it? No wonder so many pastor kids grow up hating Jesus. Cough. ***golden rule*** Cough. Cough.

    Thankfully, Stephen rarely does any of these.

    So what do I suggest? I know that these 3 things tend to come up because you need a good illustration. And typically, when I’ve let these types of things sneak in it is because I don’t have time to really research a great illustration. But you know they are “winners” and will go over with the core audience well because it’s personal and the people love you. But, be honest, these three things tend to come out most often when you have little time to prepare.

  • Reigning in Christmas

    This was the 3rd year where Kristen and I really controlled Christmas instead of Christmas controlling us. We’ve always had a desire to keep Christmas in it’s rightful place. It seems like it is finally sinking in and becoming a habit.

    The good news is that anyone can control Christmas!

    Practically, we are celebrating another Christmas paying for everything in cash. (Gasp! You can do that?) Around Thanksgiving Kristen and I discussed how much we wanted to spend and we did a good job sticking to our gift giving budget. (Our big splurge was the new TV. The crazy thing about that is it was the first TV I’d ever bought!)

    We don’t have the best history as far as gift giving goes. Like a lot of couples, we completely overspent for years. In those earlier days of our marriage, when we had more cash flow than wisdom to handle it, we managed to spend way more than we could afford and got used to paying off Christmas debt well into Spring.

    My only encouragement to those who want to make a change is plan early and pay cash. I don’t mean “buy early” as that’s not the best way to get deals. Just plan early and set aside some cash to buy gifts. From there, commit to not dipping into savings or using a credit card.

    Here’s the kicker. We’re less stressed out about it and it gives us a chance to teach our kids about Jesus. Now that Christmas is over I have zero guilt about what we spent. The secret is that the kids are just as happy with fewer, smaller presents, as they were when we spent a lot! The Incarnation didn’t happen so we could get further entrapped! He came to fully release us from bondage. That means the bondage of sin. But it also means that Jesus’ taking on flesh is a reminder that we can be released from our other indebtedness.

    A simpler Christmas is over the top fun. I just hope we can be even more disciplined in 2009.

  • The Personal Preference Sin

    I’d like to talk to some people about a rabid sin running rampant and unchecked throughout the American Evangelical church. Maybe if you’re reading this today I’m meant to talk to you. This is, I believe, one of Satan’s most powerful devices for separating our people. And yet, this sin runs so deep and is so approved that it carries back to some things we hold sacred such as denominations… probably 50% of non-denominational churches founded in the past century are the result of this sin.

    That sin is personal preference.

    An unfortunate consequence of Modernism as a life philosophy is this concept that you cannot worship in a place you disagree with on some levels. Adopting modernistic thinking as a religious way of thinking has lead to nothing but personal preference sin disguised as “acting on theological conviction.” Whether that preference is musical instruments during worship vs. no musical instruments in worship or modern music vs. traditional hymns or small groups vs. Sunday School or even Arminian vs. Calvinist, forms of church governance, women in ministry, preaching styles, baptism, on and on.

    One day, either today or yesterday, a person decided that they simply could not live with that compromise to their integrity or vision or desire and decided to leave a church to start their own. I am convinced that many of today’s churches were founded because someone got ticked off enough to take their friends and start a “new and more pure expression of worship.” If you’ve ever had a meeting with a wide-eyed green church planter you often hear this notion as their primary justification for planting a church.

    You may be uncomfortable with how I’ve phrased that. So let’s give some examples:

    – John Wesley started a methodist reform movement within the Church of England. As time went on, they couldn’t reconcile that tension and the Methodist Movement was born.

    – Meanwhile in Scandinavia, disenfranchised Lutherans (commoners) who were persecuted by the King’s people over tons of issues separated and started meeting outside of official worship services sanctioned by the King. Eventually, they could not reconcile and the Free church movement was born in Scandinavia.

    – The Brethren church movement is born out of a personal preference issue on baptism in the early 18th century. That groups has fractured further ever since… it’s in their DNA! Some of them have split of theological interpretations of things like eternal security, or whether baptisms indoors counted, or to start Sunday schools.

    – There so much independence bred into the Baptist church movement that no one can even agree on what makes a baptist a baptist or where the Baptist movement originated. Many of my students in Romeo will remember how we read an 80 year old tract in my office called, “What real old regular baptists really believe.”

    – These are the tribes, and decedents and fractures of those tribes, that form modern Evangelicalism in America. In other words… we are a people divided for centuries on an unspoken belief that our personal preferences should divide the Bride of Christ. Division over personal preference is our unfortunate heritage.

    Let’s state the problem more clearly in your front yard. Modernism has long hated contradictions and mystery. While that is a noble hatred in science and has led to the greatest innovations of our day, it has decimated the church. People presume that their personal preferences are more significant than the church doctrine of unity.

    As believers, every one of us would agree with this statement: The church body is a unit. (Singular) And yet, we divide over non-essentials all the time.

    – Style of baptism.

    – How a person is labeled a member.

    – How a person is labeled a believer.

    – What types of sin a person can be involved in and still lead and/or be a member.

    – Who can vote and for what.

    – How we learn best.

    – Worship best.

    – Give best.

    – Serve best.

    – Read our Bible.

    – How we dress.

    – How we act.

    – How we pray.

    Rather than live in those tensions, struggles that fully represent the “the body of Christ,” we chose to divide and group with who we feel most comfortable with.

    Largely, on Sunday morning we go to churches who are lead by people we feel comfortable with, who preach to us things we want to hear, who say things to our kids we agree with, who look like us, sing like us, dress like us, and serve in ways we approve of. When I hear complaints of my friends or when I complain about my church it is almost exclusively about crap that doesn’t even matter!

    We have been lead to believe that tension in church is bad. I believe that it’s time to call the church back together. I believe that when we chose to take our flocks and submit them to one another in submission to Jesus, who longs to break down walls that separate, that we will see God do amazing things.

    I hear a lot of friends openly wonder why the American Evangelical church is not gaining more ground in our society. And yet we, as American Evangelicals, refuse to deal with our personal and institutional sins.

    I’ll quiet this rant by proposing a question. Friend, I covet your response.

    If there were a young friar in a monestary today composing 95 charges of sin against the Evangelical Church, what would he nail to the Wittenberg Door?

  • The Lord’s Prayer, a paraphrase

    This has been my prayer for the last several days. I can’t get it out of my head.

    You are our Father, reigning from above

    You define Holy.

    Bring Your Kingdom here.

    You are doing Your will here and through out the universe.

    Feed us today with the only thing that really sustains us.

    Forgive us for what we’ve done wrong.

    Please help us forgive those who’ve wronged us.

    Help us keep our noses clean; save us from the evil we always find.

    Let us declare that this is Your world.

    All power comes from You.

    All glory goes to You.

    We acknowledge these things will never stop, You will always have all the power and fame.

    Amen.

    We agree.

    I agree.