• We Eat Our Young

    We Eat Our Young

    Hamster cannibalism is not uncommon. When a hamster gives birth, she may feel pushed to eat some or all of the new pups. This may be a response to lack of resources (like food, space, or protein), fear of a perceived threat, or some type of confusion.

    Source

    Humans eat their young, too. 

    Two stories about teenagers came on the radio today while Megan and I drove to school.

    Story One

    IRVING — Ahmed Mohamed — who makes his own radios and repairs his own go-kart — hoped to impress his teachers when he brought a homemade clock to MacArthur High on Monday.

    Instead, the school phoned police about Ahmed’s circuit-stuffed pencil case.

    So a kid does something really cool, that few teenagers could do, makes his own stuff… brings it in to school to proudly show off to his teacher… and gets arrested.

    It’s outrageous. 

    A student is smart and gets arrested because administrators don’t see him as smart, they see him as a threat.

    How can you say you love teenagers, dedicate your life to youth ministry, and NOT be outraged by that?

    Story Two

    Somewhere else during Morning Edition there was a story that started out like this, “He was on his way to school, running late– because you know, he’s a teenagers– and when he got there…”

    I looked at Megan, ourselves pushing hard to get to school on time, and said “Because you know, all teenagers, all 46 million of them, are late all the time because you know… they are teenagers.”

    The Bias Against Teenagers

    It’s hard to listen to media bias against teenagers when your 9th grade daughter is sitting next to you. Megan is amazing in so many ways… her friends are, too… and yet two stories in short sequence paint a picture of adolescents as sub-human buffoons who are destined to fail.

    So I turned off the radio and we had a great conversation that started like this, “In the media, teenagers are incapbale until they aren’t. They are either idiots who can’t do anything right or they win 6 gold medals… but the fact is most teenagers are just like most adults. But you never hear that because it doesn’t sell.” 

    The Need for Allies

    As youth workers we know that these bias exist and yet we are largely silent. An incident like this happens in suburban Dallas and you are left to wonder… “Where are the youth ministry people? Why the silence?”

    It makes me wonder… What would it look like if youth ministry were good news to teenagers?

    • What would happen if you were an advocate for the teenagers in your life?
    • What would it look like to correct a bias when you hear it?
    • What would it look like if people saw you and thought to themselves… “I better not talk crap about teenagers around that lady, she’s CRAZY about teenagers.”
    • What would happen if teenagers in the community looked to you as an advocate?
    • What is possible when the teenagers in your community knew you had their back, that you’d step up for them, that you’d leverage your voice and power for them?

    Friends, we are not hamsters. We are humans made in the image of God. Teenagers are made in God’s images.

    My daughter needs more advocates. Our daughters need advocates. God’s children need allies to stand up against a culture that eats it’s young, that leaves them feeling terrible about their status, that reminds them every day in subtle and not-so-subtle ways that if they don’t climb Mount Everest they are a complete failure.

    May it never be true!

    When a teenager is maligned in the media, so is the image of God.

    Advocate.

    Ally yourself with your tribe.

    Leverage your power and voice for the people that you say you serve.

    And when you do? Stand back and watch what God can do.

  • 4 Things I’m excited about for Open Denver

    4 Things I’m excited about for Open Denver

    On Thursday night I head to Denver for our second annual Open Denver event. Open is a movement of one-day training events built from the ground up to support & advance youth ministry locally. It’s unlike anything else out there.

    • Most of the presenters work right in the region, so they live the local context every day.
    • While we provide national level support, the local leadership team is in control.
    • We keep Open cheap— really cheap— at $25/$35 depending on when you register to make it accessible to anyone.
    • It’s cheap because none of our speakers get paid. They are doing it because they want to give back to their local community and they want to see youth ministry advanced in their area.
    • Speaking of money, we give most of it away. This year Purple Door Coffee will receive 34% of the profits at Open Denver. The local organizing team will also get 33%… so we’re not just tapping the local youth ministry network for favors. To keep things transparent we actually publish our budget on the website.

    Four Reasons I’m Excited about Open Denver

    1. Hospitality – If you’ve never been on campus at Flatirons Church, you are in for a treat. I’m a small church guy and I pull into the parking lot of a megachurch with certain expectations. Well, when you come to Flatirons prepare to have those turned on their head. Their staff is amazing and we’re super privileged to have them host Open Denver.
    2. Continuity – Last year we had the pleasure to hear Jenny Popp’s story. In the past year she’s taken some big steps and we’ve invited her back to celebrate all that God is doing.
    3. Practical Training – I tend to gravitate towards new ideas in youth ministry. But that doesn’t mean that Open Denver isn’t full of practical stuff. Lots of the breakouts are going to be really, really practical. Perfect for a wide variety of youth workers.
    4. Ideas birth ideas – One of the truly fascinating things about Open is that youth workers hearing a new idea for the first time at an Open event… seeing that it works locally… has a net effect of birthing brand new ideas. This is the net Kingdom effect of what happens when you “Open Source” ministry ideas as opposed to getting caught up on “who owns what.” Give credit where credit is due and advance the Kingdom of God.

    See you there?

    On Friday, I’ll be leading a 90 minute version of my talk, Teenagers + The Small Screen. I’d love to see you there on Friday and/or Saturday for the second Open Denver!

    Register here

  • A Revolution Against What?

    A Revolution Against What?

    “Instigating a revolution in youth ministry.”

    This is the tagline for The Youth Cartel.

    Last December, during our annual retreat, we spent a couple of hours kicking around exactly what that meant, what it didn’t mean, and even spent extended time to list out dozens of areas we’re seeking a revolution in the form of an internal manifesto, of sorts.

    But over the past year I’ve kept coming back to the grounding question about this revolution we talk about… “What are we revolting against?” 

    A Revelation About the Revolution

    A couple of weeks ago, during the benediction at a worship service, our worship pastor answered this question for me. He hung words on something I’d been looking for words on… and it was flat out a revelation for me.

    He said something like,

    This revolution, [he was talking about our church] is about death. We’re partnering with God so death won’t win.

    Dang. So good. And so true.

    See, our revolution isn’t about tearing anyone down or ascribing to a so-called-right-way to do youth ministry or destroying/fighting with/pushing aside other organizations… we’re actually all about celebrating the crazy diversity that is the current state of youth ministry.

    But The Youth Cartel’s revolution? We’re fighting the death of youth ministry.

    Whether by entropy or lack of popularity or being maligned as unimportant— we’re against that. We’re pushing back against that, resourcing, gathering, and encouraging youth workers to fight against those things— this is important!

    We believe specialized ministry by adults to adolescents is vital to the health of the church. It’s to be celebrated widely, innovated within, encouraged from the platform the boardroom and behind the scenes, resourced extravagantly, coached up, taught formally and informally, and then re-taught. Yes, it’s a quirky segment of the church. Yes, some of us are weird. Yes, sometimes it’s a one-eared-mickey-mouse organizationally. Yes, it’s hard to measure. A yes, it’s absolutely a mess.

    But youth ministry is important.

    It’s worth fighting for.

    And it’s revolution worthy.

  • Let High School be about High School

    Today my oldest child, Megan, starts high school.

    While it’s really easy for me to get self-reflective and think about my own high school experience and how having a high school aged child makes me feel old, none of that really matters to her.

    I want to share one thing that I shared with her last week about the start of high school: Make high school about high school. 

    • High school isn’t about preparing for the next thing. It’s about today.
    • It’s not about picking a career. Very few 18 year olds know what they want to do for a career. Very few 35 year olds seem to know, either. Chill about a career. 
    • It’s not about prepping a resume for college. Being really busy and joining 5 clubs and volunteering 1000 hours isn’t going to help you get into a top school. We’re more interested in “college fit” than some stupid number in a magazine anyway. 
    • It’s not about learning job skills. You’ll have decades to work on that. 
    • Your school might require “professional attire” but don’t make high school about preparing for a profession. And if you end up doing a profession you love, you’ll wear what you need to wear and love it. 

    High School is About High School

    Do stuff just because.

    Try new things.

    Do something you love and something you hate.

    Push yourself to learn and let grades take care of themselves.

    Learn how you learn.

    Learn how to study.

    And learn how to get by without studying…

    Complain. Rage against the machine. Dream about making things better.

    Understand that the best parts of high school aren’t even in the classroom, don’t miss the good stuff.

    Make really good friends.

    Waste time with them.

    Laugh until you snort.

    Make friends that you’re OK laughing so hard that you aren’t even embarrassed that you snort.

    Chillax

    Don’t worry about us, we’ll worry about you enough for both of us.

    Don’t worry about college, you’re on the right path.

    Just chillax. Enjoy.

    If you make high school about preparing for adult life or trying to get into the “best school” than you’ll miss out on something great.

    Make high school about high school.

    Enjoy it.

    Get after it.

    Don’t devalue today by making high school about tomorrow.

    You’ll be glad you did.

    Mr. Keating sums this up pretty well…

  • Stoney

    Stoney

    Perhaps no 6 characters have been harder to type than the 6 characters of the title of this blog post.

    Earlier today, Kristen and I took our much beloved dog, Stoney, to the vet to be put to sleep.

    We were a mess.

    I couldn’t even speak. It was completely the right thing to do, to end his suffering, but it hurt too much for words to come out of our mouths.

    They quickly ushered the bawling couple with the barely-able-to-walk dog out of the waiting room and into an examination room. Prepared for our arrival they’d laid a nice blanket down on the floor. After a couple sniffs Stoney laid down one last time.

    We were a mess.

    An absolute proper mess. The lady asked me something about money and I just handed her my debit card.

    Truth be told, it’s after 2 AM and I’m still a snotty mess. I keep expecting him to bump against my feet under my desk or let out a deep sigh or push open the living room door to remind me to go to bed.

    Stoney has been constantly at our side for the past ten years. It’s hard to even know what to do without him, he’s such a part of our daily lives.

    I grew up hearing the phrase, “Man’s best friend.” And you know what? I am feeling the loss of a best friend right now.

    The past few weeks have been gut wrenching. At our last trip to the vet she let me know that Stoney was in very bad health. He had a heart murmur and at his age that likely meant he had heart disease. We could run some tests but at nearly 13 years old there wasn’t much we could do.

    Leaving that day I had no concept of how fast the disease would take over. Over the past few weeks he went from being short of breath and a little bit slower to taking 20 minutes just to go one block.

    By Sunday, he couldn’t get up the stairs into the house after going potty and he stopped eating. These were both our agreed upon indicators that it’d be time to let him go.

    The older kids were already aware of what was going on… that the time was getting near. We didn’t want it to be a shock to them. When I made the appointment on Monday I let each of them know. We explained it to Jackson, but he’s 4 and it’s really hard to understand. I’m 39 and sometimes death doesn’t make sense to me either.

    Then, after school, we all got on the floor with Stoney and spent some time giving him love and sharing stories about him… I’m so glad we did that.

    Tonight, not really sure what else to do with myself, I made this video. It means a lot to me.

    This dog has been so much more than a dog to our family.

    We will, eventually, be fine.

    But for today we are experiencing the loss.

  • The Cost of Thriving

    The Cost of Thriving

    As youth workers we are people in transition.

    • The teenagers we serve are often in transition
    • The churches where we work are often in transition
    • Therefore we become people engulfed by transition

    A net result of this tribal transitionalism among youth workers is that there always seems to be more people looking for jobs in youth ministry than there are actual jobs in youth ministry worth having.

    Simple supply and demand means that even though the youth worker has usually mastered a role that very few people are equipped [or actually want] to have in a local church– they are usually paid less because there are more hyper-qualified people than great jobs.

    “You don’t do this for the money” they say.

    And that’s true. But if you’re going to stay in youth ministry for a career you’re going to, at some point, need to stop struggling and have access to the resources you’ll need to succeed.

    The Cost of Not Thriving

    Here’s the simple reality. If you’re just surviving, you ain’t thriving, and you won’t last.

    • A cheap apartment will work for a while.
    • A crappy car is charming for a while.
    • Being around people with disposable income while you’re thinking of re-using disposable diapers is OK… for a while.
    • Watching your high school friends talk about stuff they are doing on Facebook that you can’t do is cool for a while.
    • Not going to grad school is going to be fine for a while.
    • Getting handouts, hand-me-downs, and generous gifts for your kids will be awesome for a while.
    • Your spouse will be fine with your work hours for a while.
    • Not having real hobbies or friends will work for you for a while.
    • You can convince yourself that you’re making everyday sacrifices for Kingdom reasons for a while.
    • Changing jobs so much that you’ve perpetually got 2 weeks of vacation will work for a while.
    • Not having a decent budget to work with is manageable for a while.
    • Not being supported or appreciated is alright for a while.

    But here’s what I know. The cost of not thriving catches up to you.

    A long list of my friends eventually gave up on vocational youth ministry. They’ve moved into the marketplace or other church roles– or more commonly– “felt called to plant a church” which is a place where they could have some say in:

    The hours.

    The pay.

    The expectations.

    See– the cost of not thriving for their family meant the long-term cost vs. benefit analysis of perpetually struggling and dealing with job insecurity just stopped making sense. Given the choice between living and thriving, people pick thriving every time.

    “I did all of the right stuff for all of those years and after all of this my family is struggling in several different ways.” So they moved on to something else.

    Not something less, something else.

    Stop Calculating Cost of Living

    The next time you’re in transition– looking for a new job or talking to a church about coming on their team– forget calculating the cost of living. For some reason researching the cost of living leads to churches offering you a package of salary and benefits that’s just wedged between terrible and tolerable.

    But if you want to be in this for the long haul? You’ll need to figure out the cost of thriving.

    And you know what? That might not even be about money. It might be about work flexibility or working from home or flex time or more paid time off or the church paying for more of your housing or grad school or a better conference budget.

    Say no to calculating your cost of living.

    Say yes to calculating your cost of thriving.

  • What’s your stress ball?

    What’s your stress ball?

    There’s no reason to sugar coat it. The past few weeks have been full of stress.

    On top of a normally busy season, work-wise, there have a been a few unexpected curve balls thrown my way.

    I’m OK.

    I’m going to be fine.

    In fact, none of the things causing additional stress are actually bad. So don’t freak out on me or get imaginative about what these stress points might be. A couple are very, very good. But lots of things are happening at once and the simple truth is I’m under a lot of pressure. It’s the kind of pressure you can feel run through your veins– adrenaline, anxiety, fear, excitement, fatigue, on and on. That’s a new and unwelcome feeling for me.

    The result is I’m not at my best. Which frustrates me and causes stress all it’s own because I pride myself at being at my best during crunch time.

    But I’m not sleeping well.

    I’m fighting to stay in a somewhat healthy routine.

    And with a lot to juggle I have a very hard time– concentration-wise– knowing what to do right now, what to do next, and what should wait until later.

    Share Your Tips

    This actually isn’t normal for me so I don’t have a big bag of tricks for coping. I continue to do things like regular walks at night, shorter walks or errands to clear my head throughout the day, staying hydrated, taking time off during the weekends for rest and recreation… stuff like that.

    But that leaves me where I’m at today, needing ideas. What do you do to take care of yourself when you’re under a lot of pressure or stress? Share your tips in the comments.

  • Church: Is it for everyone?

    Church: Is it for everyone?

    Is church for everyone?

    This is a complex question with a complex answer.

    And in a Post-Christian world it’s an offensive question because it cuts to something many consider distasteful  about Christianity: Exclusivity. Ultimately, most Christians believe that Jesus is the only way to heaven and therefore by process of elimination, Christianity is “right” while all the rest of the world’s religions are “wrong.”

    You may have noticed that I used “church” and “Jesus” synonymously. I already said that the question of church is a complex one. Yes, you can be a Christ follower without church. But most people correlate church as being for people who love Jesus and Jesus followers as being the type of people who go to church.

    So is it for everyone?

    At our church we use aspirational language to say “yes” to that question. Language like, “We’re a come as you are church. Part of our DNA is that we want this place to be for everyone.”

    Now, we’re a good-sized church. But we aren’t really for everyone. We’d like to think we are for everyone but “everyone” is a pretty big target. In truth, we’re a church for a certain segment of the population attracted to that posture that we’re open to everyone while we hold open handedly the reality that we don’t know what “everyone” would actually mean.

    I don’t want to get caught up in the idea of “everyone” from a church vantage point. It’s complicated, it contemplative, and ultimately there’s an easy answer for books that says, “Yes, absolutely” and a more difficult one for every day which says, “Well, not really.”

    The church question is interesting but not my point at all.

    What does “everyone” mean? “Does it mean me?”

    I’m not talking about church from the vantage point of church leadership. I’m talking about church from the vantage point of attending.

    Is it for you?

    Is it for me?

    Is it for my friends?

    Is it for my kids?

    What do we mean when we say “church is for everyone“?

    Christians believe that a life with Jesus is better than a life without him. That’s more than about an ultimate, heavenly destination. It’s that we believe that being engaged in the local church is good, it’s a sign of spiritual health and obedience to God. The Bible makes it clear that good stuff happens when we gather together.

    But here’s the thing, a lesson I’m reminded of all the time as a dad: “My job as a parent is both RIGHT NOW and IN THE FUTURE.” I can look at my child and say, “You’re going to church. It’s for everyone, you’re part of an everyone, this is what we do as a family.”

    But that’s like using a credit card to pay for a vacation, right? It’s short-term awesome. Maybe I can push my kid to go to church and pretend to love it because that’s what’s expected in the context of being a part of a church.

    But, welcome to complexity, you might be “solving” a problem by forcing your kid to go to church while creating a bigger problem down the road when they have a choice.

    Does “everyone” mean “everyone right now”?

    For me, this is where I’ve been on this question of “everyone” most of my ministry– even in the face of pressure by leadership because it means rejecting some implications of the aspirational ideology that we can reach “everyone“.

    It’s complex.

    We say Jesus for everyone but that doesn’t have to be determined at 14 years old.

    • Internally, we know that plenty of on-fire teenagers never become on-fire adults.
    • Plenty of people who completely skip church until their 20s or 30s radically convert later.
    • Plenty of adults don’t go to church today because their parents didn’t love them enough to recognize that they weren’t ready as kids and teenagers.
    • We know that any one church isn’t really for everyone.
    • We have a theological belief that Jesus is for everyone, that Jesus died for all that believe in him, we aspire to reach as many as possible… But we also know that God’s time is not our time.

    “I must bring them also.”

    When I desire to control my kids or teenagers in the youth group I need to take a step back and remember that my role as a dad or pastor is lower case. I might be shepherding this child or teenager. But my role in that isn’t capitalized… I am not the Dad and I am not the Shepherd.

    Jesus ultimately decides who “everyone” is. Consider John 10:7-16 (emphasis mine)

    “Therefore Jesus said again, “Very truly I tell you, I am the gate for the sheep. All who have come before me are thieves and robbers, but the sheep have not listened to them. I am the gate; whoever enters through me will be saved. They will come in and go out, and find pasture. The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.

    “I am the good shepherd. The good shepherd lays down his life for the sheep. The hired hand is not the shepherd and does not own the sheep. So when he sees the wolf coming, he abandons the sheep and runs away. Then the wolf attacks the flock and scatters it. The man runs away because he is a hired hand and cares nothing for the sheep.

    “I am the good shepherd; I know my sheep and my sheep know me— just as the Father knows me and I know the Father—and I lay down my life for the sheep. I have other sheep that are not of this sheep pen. I must bring them also. They too will listen to my voice, and there shall be one flock and one shepherd.

    If this is true than I don’t have the right to force. I can’t possibly know who “everyone” is. Sheep don’t count sheep! And while I can be cooperative with Jesus in His work– I’d be curious to read some commentaries on who people think is the “hired hand”, He has ultimate authority on this question.

    I’ve read this passage innumerable times and missed the text I put in bold. There is the “pen” I hang out in but Jesus has other pens. And whose responsible for those pens? Not me. Jesus.

    Church: Is it for everyone? Yes.

    Church: Is it for everyone? Really?

    I told you it was complicated.

  • Now booking speaking engagements for Fall & Winter

    Now booking speaking engagements for Fall & Winter

    After an insane run of speaking engagements in 2014 I backed off for Winter and Spring 2015 so I could concentrate on family and my responsibilities with the Cartel… both growing really fast! It was too much, too fast, and I needed a break.

    In other words, I said no to a lot.

    With that in mind I want to post publicly that I’m ready to take on a healthy amount of bookings for the upcoming school year. (5-6 in the Fall; 5-6 in the Winter.)

    Here’s what I can offer:

    • A parent seminar on healthy social media habits (Perfect for parents of 4th-9th graders, based )
    • A youth leader training seminar (Called “Teenagers + The Small Screen“)
    • A school assembly, lecture, classroom talk and discussion (Customized to meet the needs of your school. I’ve done this in public, private, parochial
      and Christian schools)
    • Youth group or retreat talks for middle & high school students. (Most often about social media, but I’m open to other topics.)
    • Sunday morning preaching/teaching.

    I’m pretty flexible and will work to meet your needs. Some folks bring me in just to do a single talk while others bring me out and book me back-to-back for 3 days straight.

    New Material

    All of the talks above are constantly morphing and adapting to current trends, data, and movement. So if you read the book, A Parents Guide to Understanding Social Media, and you think that is what I’ve got, material-wise, understand that the book was based on material I was talking about at the time of writing but it’s continually refined.

    Along the same vein, I’ve been working on a brand new talk for youth groups and Sunday mornings that I think is really powerful. It starts with the facts-based approach I take on social media and takes a very interesting turn into a biblical narrative, with a strong personal application.

    Let’s Do This

    I try to keep these things affordable and I’m happy to work with you. Even though it’d be way easier I’ve been able to avoid using a booking agent, which benefits the folks bringing me in far more than it benefits me!

    If you want to talk about a speaking opportunity please connect with me via my contact form. (If you have my contact info, feel free to connect that way!)

  • Dancing with the Fantasy

    Dancing with the Fantasy

    Cynicism takes root when you disengage, when you engage you reside in the fantasy.

    Let me first be careful to define what I mean by “fantasy.”

    Fantasy isn’t the same as fallacy. I mean fantasy in a more emotional sense. Like when you’re on vacation somewhere amazing you are in a fantasy that everyone is having as good of a time as you are. You are able to relax, you pour into your loved ones in a way you couldn’t with the normal daily pressures of life, you have no care or understanding about the day of the week, and you are under the assumption that everyone around you must be as relaxed and having the same good time you are. That’s the fantasy. But the reality is that for most people it’s just a Monday. There’s nothing special going on, at all. The lady cleaning your hotel room or serving your family dinner or the guy who drives your shuttle or the myriad of people behind the scenes making your trip great– it’s a work day for them.

    You are the puppet and they are pulling the strings of your fantasy. You gleefully and willfully shut off your mind to even think about those moving parts. You are living the fantasy and it’s good.

    A fallacy isn’t that at all. It’s when you know you can’t separate what you know is going on behind the scenes and you go through the motions anyway. It’s taking your family on a great vacation, watching them live the fantasy, but in the back of your mind you know you are running from your problems… your car is getting repossessed while you’re on vacation or you’ve just lost your job but haven’t told them because you want them to enjoy the trip or you’ve got cancer but haven’t told your family.

    And so you fake it. You let those around you believe in the fantasy but for you it’s a tortuous fantasy, a lie.

    Ministry is Complicated

    Ministry life is complicated. We all know that. We know too much to enjoy the fantasy is quite the same way. We love our co-workers but we know their struggles, their weaknesses, and “what’s really going on” often takes precedence in our mind.

    Yet, we guide people to live in the fantasy. We even use language to describe it. We want people to be “in” and many churches have even used gambling language to ask people to “go all in” for our ministry. Having been part of both being in a church where people lived in the fantasy and been at churches where we saw people step into that happy place, it’s a beautiful and good thing. Entering into the fantasy allows God to work in wondrous way… things which shouldn’t be possible are and most importantly lives are changed.

    We ask people to embrace the fantasy that our church is “it” and the more they buy into the fantasy the more growth that can happen in their lives. (Just like on vacation, right? If you don’t buy into the fantasy you’ll never relax… and if you don’t relax you’ll never enjoy the experience. So you allow yourself to enter into it. It’s a willful thing, a social exchange.)

    This isn’t bad. We all do it. You can read through Acts and see this played out in the first century church. People dove into the fantasy! I mean, families sold everything they had because it was so good!

    But when it becomes a fallacy it is bad. Especially when it happens at church. When an inch below the surface lies conflict or staffing issues or hidden problems, the staff puts on a happy face and hopes people buy into the fantasy because they all know that it’s kind-of-a-fallacy. The children’s pastor has kids who hate them. The small groups pastor hasn’t been in a small group in 20 years. The youth pastor is a great manager but doesn’t really love teenagers, at all.

    People convince themselves that they love their jobs or that their motives are pure. Yet quietly, behind the scenes, everyone can’t wait for the pastor to retire. Or they’ve experienced the wrath of anger brought down on them by the board when they ask question or dream about things outside of the scope of the fantasy. They mistakenly wondered out loud, “What would happen if our church embraced all kinds of people from all kinds of lifestyles?” And once they stepped out of bounds of the fantasy they’ve experienced something darker… like seeing Mickey Mouse smoking a joint on his break at Disneyland… they’ll never be the same.

    In my ministry life I have a hard time embracing the fantasy because I know too many people who’ve have experienced the fallacy. Confessionally, I think half the time I’ve wondered if I was living in the fantasy or the fallacy myself. So when I go to church today I want to buy in but I struggle.

    I find it easy to disengage, therefore I find it easy to step back enough where I’m no longer inside the fantasy but am comfortable observing those outside while also observing inside those behind the scenes.

    On the one hand this is a valuable vantage point. One for which I’m thankful. I’m able to help those creating the fantasy see what is and isn’t working, what’s believable, what isn’t.

    But, confessionally, sometimes it eats at me.

    Just like at the end of the Wizard of Oz you’re left to wonder… would it have been better to not know? Or are you better knowing?

    For me, engaging in the fantasy is a choice. I chose it. I want it. I have decided that it’s not a fallacy. That my faith is real, that everything I know and have been taught is real.

    But it’s a rational choice.

    But sometimes? I just wish I could go back to not knowing.