Tag: leadership

  • Public Ministry Prerequisites

    A friend recently expressed a frustration that anyone who works in a church feels all the time. He said, “We just get the leftovers of people’s time, energy, and heart.”

    He said it in a negative way. I affirmed him in a positive way. “That’s the way it’s supposed to be.”

    I get the same dirty look every time I say that.

    Here is what most believers in your church really want to know— but you won’t give them a straight answer.

    In your opinion, what does an “all-in” lifestyle look like?

    When am I doing enough for the Kingdom so that I have the right & responsibility to say no?

    This is the elephant in the room in every church. This is what people in the pews long to know. They all want to hear a simple answer to that simple question.

    They need a checkbox and you give them an essay. They ask for a cheeseburger and you bring them a Power Bar. And you wonder why they just tip instead of tithe? That disappointed look as people meander out of your sanctuary Sunday mornings? Yup, that’s it. They don’t know if they are doing enough. And you won’t tell them.

    Why? Because, as church leaders, we don’t like the answer.

    Mark 12:28-34 deals with this exact question. See what happens when a religious leader asks Jesus, “What am I supposed to be doing with my day-to-day life?“

    One of the teachers of the law came and heard them debating. Noticing that Jesus had given them a good answer, he asked him, “Of all the commandments, which is the most important?”

    “The most important one,” answered Jesus, “is this: ‘Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is one. Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.’ The second is this: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ There is no commandment greater than these.”

    “Well said, teacher,” the man replied. “You are right in saying that God is one and there is no other but him. To love him with all your heart, with all your understanding and with all your strength, and to love your neighbor as yourself is more important than all burnt offerings and sacrifices.”

    When Jesus saw that he had answered wisely, he said to him, “You are not far from the kingdom of God.” And from then on no one dared ask him any more questions.

    I love that last line– ZING!

    You didn’t see religious leaders lining up to ask the Messiah another question, did you? Nope. They didn’t like Jesus’ answer back then and church leaders don’t like it today.

    You can hear the groan of every single church staff member. Why didn’t Jesus implore people to give more time to the church? Why? Why?! WHY?!?!?!

    The frustrated staff

    Every staff member I talk to has the same 2-3 problems. (Youth pastors, worship pastors, senior pastors, children’s pastors, small groups pastors… all of ’em.)

    They have vision for great programs. Great ideas. But they struggle to find the resources and people to implement them.

    They all deal with the same pressure: In order to be judged as having done a good job, a noble ambition, they need the resources to implement their programs.

    The frustrated parishioner

    [Confession: I never saw this on church staff! Like literally… it was there, but I never saw it and no one ever articulated it to me. I didn’t see it until I transitioned from being on staff to becoming a parishioner.]

    Each week, sermons implore them to live out the Gospel in their daily life. At work, at home, with their friends, seek justice, etc. Then they are told they need to keep their relationship with God first and their ministry to their family second. But each week they are also asked to help with the programs of the church.

    They all deal with the same pressure: They have a 40-50 hour per week job to pay the bills, they have kids that need help with homework and other stuff in their lives, they need to keep their relationship with God growing, their relationship with their spouse and kids second… there isn’t much time or energy available after that. And the church gives them 30 hours worth of things they could be doing with the 4 hours they have available each week.

    Frustration by design?

    It’s not supposed to be like that. Jesus, our Groom, never intended a life in His church to be frustrating for the bride.

    Worse yet. Everyone is frustrated and it isn’t working. The church, as a whole, is reaching less people. Our population is exploding and our churches are happy to hold steady. That’s a net loss.

    We need to get back on course with what the Bible teaches us about our daily lives.

    Prerequisites to public ministry

    (These are the things you need to take care of BEFORE you consider anything at church. Otherwise, take a ticket and head to the end of the frustration line. You’ll be there a while.)

    1. Love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul, mind, and strength. Are you putting your relationship with Jesus on hold so you can serve? If so, you are being disobedient. No wonder you are frustrated.
    2. Love your neighbor as yourself. Jesus didn’t mean this metaphorically. He meant it literally. If you don’t know your neighbors names and are not actively loving them… then you aren’t qualified to help out at church. Define neighbors: If their property touches or is adjacent to yours, those are your neighbors. God placed you on your block because He is smarter than you are. He wants you to love and serve them. It’s not something you do when you have time. It’s something you make time to do. And it’s more important than helping at youth group or singing in the choir. That’s why it’s a prerequisite.
    3. Love your family. When Megan was 6 she said to me, “Daddy, I wish you spent as much time with me as you spend with the kids at church.”  Six. Years. Old. That’s when I knew I needed an extended break from public ministry. It wasn’t that I was unqualified. And it certainly wasn’t that I was unsuccessful. It’s that things had gotten out-of-order. Never again. If your family is groaning because you are spending too much time at church… it’s time to readjust.

    If you have those things in order than you can consider helping a program at church. And if you don’t have these three things covered, not just in your opinion, but in the opinion of the people in your life, than you need to stop doing public ministry.

    Trust me, the church will endure and prevail. She will be fine!

    To my frustrated church staff friends:

    Here are two things I learned the hard way.

    • You are not exempt. Being a pastor at the church does not mean you can be so busy you don’t spend time with God, don’t love your neighbors, and don’t love your family. In fact, having your house in order is a biblical requirement (1 Timothy 3:4) for leadership because it validates everything you do and say. #1 & #3 are usually OK with church staff… it’s #2 we forget to invest in.
    • It won’t get better until you change your behavior. I think I made the mistake of thinking that I could circumvent this if I created a good enough program or if I just invested in developing leaders more. It didn’t. It only spun more out of control as time went on. The reality was that it didn’t get better until I took care of those 3 prerequisites.

    “Therefore, I urge you, brothers and sisters, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God—this is your true and proper worship.” Romans 12:1

  • 5 things gardens teach us about healthy churches

    Last year, Kristen and I made a commitment to grow organically or buy organically 25% of our families food. For us, that has meant starting and maintaing a garden.

    As they say, inch by inch and row by row– we have watched our garden grow.

    A native suburbanite, I’ve discovered many revelations about my perceptions of a healthy church shattered by the realities of staying in tune with more agrarian things in my backyard.

    The title of pastor is agrarian by etymology. To manage a flock is different than managing a business. Jesus could have chose to describe church leaders as business owners or organizational leaders… but instead Jesus chose an agrarian term, pastor.

    Here are 5 things that gardens teach us about healthy churches:

    1. Healthy organisms replicate. The hallmark of a good plant is its fruit. And the reason a plant creates fruit is simple: To replicate. Conversely, the mission of a church isn’t to grow infinitely, it’s to replicate and make impact on the community it serves. If it isn’t replicating (producing fruit) than it’s just wasting space. (Matthew 3:12)
    2. In order to grow strong you must water & feed regularly. I need to make sure my plants have sun, water, fertilizer, (organic, of course) and good soil. In order for the church to be healthy, you need to do the hard work of making sure you have healthy conditions for your church to grow. Are you teaching good stuff? Are you grounded in your mission? Is your staff team feeding from God’s Word? Are you leading people to be dependent on you… or are you teaching them to feed themselves?
    3. In order to produce good fruit you must weed & prune. Last year, I got enamored with a tomato plant which grew to more than 20 feet tall. It was exciting to see how big that plant would get. But the bad thing was that it choked out the growth of all the plants around it. That taught me a valuable lesson about pruning. The goal isn’t just to have one healthy plant in the garden, to have a healthy garden all of the plants need to be healthy. Which means I need to keep up with weeding and pruning. Likewise, a good pastor weeds & prunes his church regularly. He doesn’t wait for big problems to arise before acting. He nips things in the bud. (A pruning pun for you.)
    4. Everything tastes better when its home grown. We love our CSA. Every two weeks we pick up a great big box of locally grown fresh fruits and vegetables. But, in all honesty, that stuff is no where near as tasty as the stuff we grow in our backyard. And stuff we buy from the supermarket… that’s like ordering a salisbury steak when you can have prime rib. Too many churches go to the supermarket instead of looking at their garden for talent and ideas. There’s nothing wrong with going to the supermarket. But growing your own talent and implementing your own ideas is so much more sweet.
    5. Healthy gardens are a habitat to many species, not just the plants. At any given time I have 5-10 different types of things I’m growing in my garden. But at the same time my garden has a whole ecosystem of other plants, animals, bugs, and crawly things which survive and thrive off of our garden. There are bugs that hang out by our compost heap. There are different little plants supported by the back spillage of our drip watering system. There are good bugs who eat bad bugs. There are bees who pollenate. And there are birds who live in our yard who live off of the bugs. The same is true in a church. When you let go of control and instead chose to create a healthy environment, an entire ecosystem of impact unfolds.

    Our title of pastor is describing something agrarian. For most of us, like myself, we grew up completely separated from all things farming. Perhaps more of us need to spend more time in the garden or in the fields tending to flocks to understand the simplicity and complexity of our roles?

    What do you think? Should seminaries and conferences offer tracks which send you to the farm?

  • How to be a great church leader

    Sometimes I think that being a great leader in the church looks like being a great leader in everyone’s eyes. After all, greatness is not achieved until you are publicly recognized as great, right?

    • I start to read books about being a business leader and think, I want to do that!
    • I like to listen to interviews with politicians who have done amazing things around the world, and I contemplate a life in public service.
    • I’m drawn to quotes of big time leadership speakers plastered all over Twitter. Wow, I want to say things that brilliant!
    • I feed off of and find energy from success stories of non-profit leaders making a big impact in our community. How can I do stuff with that much impact?

    I confess that when I gobble that stuff up I secretly start to aspire to be like those people. I envy their roles, positions, and greatness. I want to measure my success against the big things those people are doing. I would love it if people looked at me and said, “Wow, Adam is a great leader. Look at his list of accomplishments.”

    Yesterday, my pastors message was just the reality check I needed. I needed to be reminded that in Jesus’ upside down, bottom-up leadership economy… it’s the servant who is a great leader. (And not “servant” for the sake of saying you’re a servant leader in sermons, books, or as a public persona in the way the Christian media portrays it.)

    At that time the disciples came to Jesus and asked, “Who, then, is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven?” He called a little child to him, and placed the child among them. And he said: “Truly I tell you, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. Therefore, whoever takes the lowly position of this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven. And whoever welcomes one such child in my name welcomes me. Matthew 18:1-5

    Want to be great in God’s upside down leadership economy? Serve the least of these. (Matthew 25:40)

    • The guy who vacuums the carpet in the sanctuary is greater than the guy playing the guitar in front of the congregation.
    • The nurse who wipes away the vomit from a disabled child’s nostrils at 2:15 AM is greater  than doctor who’s name is on the door.
    • The pastor who visits the sick, has homeless people move in with him, or runs a middle school small group is greater than the pastor who preaches in front of thousands, meets only with the powerful in the church, or assigns visitation to lesser employees.
    • The pastor at the tiny church in a small town people wince at when you mention it is greater than the megachurch pastor in Americas Finest City.

    The good news of becoming a great leader in the church

    • No pedigree required.
    • No seminary degree required
    • No ordination required
    • No recognition from a governing body required
    • No board approval required
    • No website required
    • No money needs to be raised

    All you have to do, to be great in Jesus’ upside down leadership economy, is to serve the least.

    Then he told them what they could expect for themselves: “Anyone who intends to come with me has to let me lead. You’re not in the driver’s seat—I am. Don’t run from suffering; embrace it. Follow me and I’ll show you how. Self-help is no help at all. Self-sacrifice is the way, my way, to finding yourself, your true self. What good would it do to get everything you want and lose you, the real you? If any of you is embarrassed with me and the way I’m leading you, know that the Son of Man will be far more embarrassed with you when he arrives in all his splendor in company with the Father and the holy angels. This isn’t, you realize, pie in the sky by and by. Some who have taken their stand right here are going to see it happen, see with their own eyes the kingdom of God.” Luke 9:23-27, The Message

  • You need clarity and focus

    Paul’s teacher has been on us for a few months to get his eyes checked out. She’d tell us, “He squints to see the board” or “He says he has to sit up front. I think he needs glasses.”

    I assumed, just like his big sister, that he’d need glasses eventually. Everyone in my family wears glasses. It’s an inevitability for McLane’s.

    Until recently, he never complained about not being able to see well. When we asked him to read a sign or move back from the TV he’d just roll his eyes. In truth, there are a number of behavior issues we are dealing with, so we thought this stubbornness about sitting near the TV was just part of his personality.

    It all made sense when I took him to Lenscrafters on Saturday. He was very excited and talkative about the appointment. As we waited for the doctor to see him, he was a nervous kind of chipper that we rarely see.

    Then he did the pre-screening. He seemed to instantly shut down. There were four machines with simple tasks. In each of them he was excited to do it. But in each of them when the doctor asked him questions he just didn’t answer.

    “Uh oh, this isn’t going well.” I sent Kristen a text.

    When the pre-screening was over I asked him why he didn’t answer any of the questions. “She was trying to trick me. I never saw anything like she was saying I should. I’m not going to answer and get an answer wrong, I only like correct answers.”

    That’s when I started to worry. It hit me. It’s not that he wasn’t trying. It’s that he had just failed all four of the pre-screening tests. Had we somehow missed something all along? Does my son have a vision problem?

    My mind raced to connect the dots.

    Then we went into the big room. The one with the hydraulic chair and big eyeglass contraption. The chair was on one wall and the chart with all the letters was on the other.

    “Paul, there are no wrong answers. This isn’t an eye test. We’re just seeing how we can help you see better. Is that OK?” He shook his head affirmatively.

    She explained what all of the instruments were in the room– so he wouldn’t be surprised by anything. (My heart was pumping a million miles per hour!)

    “Paul, can you tell me if you see any letter on the wall right in front of you?”

    “Letters? All I see is a white wall.”

    She pulled a pen from her pocket and held it about 2 feet from his face.

    “Can you read the letters on this pen?”

    “Of course I can, duh!” He was starting to have fun.

    Within a few minutes she started dialing her contraption to discover the right lenses which would help Paul.

    She flashed the first set in front of his face.

    “Ha! Ha! Now I see the poster on the wall. You weren’t tricking me.”

    On and on this went. Within a few minutes he was able to read the smallest letters on the chart with ease. First with one eye, then the other.

    Finally, she made some measurements and pulled out two lenses from desk. Just as she was putting them in front of his eyes she said, “OK Paul, tell me what you can see now?”

    His face lit up. He quickly started looking around the room. “Wow! I can see everything.”

    A smile was plastered on his face like one I’d rarely seen.

    I beamed at his discovery.

    The doctor turned to me and said, “Your son is profoundly nearsighted. But he doesn’t have a vision problem. He has a clarity and focus problem. Glasses are going to change everything.”

    That was a lightbulb moment for me. My mind started to race at all the times I’d taken him to sporting events or movies and he’d turned to me and said, “Can we leave? This is boring.” Or all of the blank stares when we pointed out historic sites. Or why he burned through quarter after quarter looking at New York City through those big binoculars. Or why he hated playing catch with me in the backyard. Or why riding his bike had always seemed so scary. On and on– the dots began to connect.

    How many of the behavior problems that we pull our hair out over are tied to this one simple thing… He couldn’t see?

    We will soon find out.

    The hour between ordering his glasses and picking them up might have been the longest 60 minutes of his life. We wondered the mall aimlessly. And about every 2 minutes he’d ask… “How much longer?”

    Finally, the time came and the lab technician called his name. As he put the glasses on his face and the technician made adjustments to the frames, I could see his eyes shooting all over. He was reading and discovering everything in the room. It was a brand new world!

    As we left the store he grabbed my arm. “Dad, look at those clouds!”

    What the moral of the story?

    There’s a lot of talk in leadership circles about having strong vision. But vision without clarity and focus on purpose will lead you, your organization, and your teams to become near-sighted.

    It’s one thing to have big vision. It’s another thing to back that up with clarity and focus.

  • 4 Clarifying questions to begin my day

    Am I called to lead or to serve?

    Am I called to give or to receive?

    Am I called to prosper or to sacrifice?

    Am I called to endure or conquer?

  • Exit Strategy

    Huffington PostOver the weekend it was announced that the Huffington Post was selling to AOL for $315 million. The press release will reassure fans that the change in ownership won’t change the core of the business. But it will.

    The only party who really believes that nothing will change is AOL.

    From now on a line has been drawn. There will now be three audiences. Those who loved the Huffington Post before the sale. Those who became fans after the sale. And those who have transcended their love of the Huffington Post through the transition.

    And things will change among the team there, too. They have played their card. The exit strategy now lives in their bank account.

    Why? Its tough to go back to a job in the same way and work for thousands when you know you have millions in the bank. Certainly, they will go back to work. And they will try their hardest to work in the same way as they always have. But everything will slowly change as the fight changes from “beating the man” to “becoming the man.”

    People in ministry know exit strategies, too well

    We live in a low-trust, highly transient culture. Everyone has a price and everyone has dreams that include not working where they work or living where they live. (Some will shake their head and swear it isn’t so. But deep down we all know its true.)

    The dirty little secret of the American Dream is that it implants a deep seeded dissatisfaction with our current situation and a heads-up mentality that to succeed you might need to go where the grass is greener.

    And people in ministry are quick to make moves. I rarely meet a staff person who isn’t willing to at least feel out another opportunity somewhere else.

    Let’s be blunt: This kills your ministry.

    While people who are in your ministry don’t know that you are passively looking, you exude a mentality that people pick up on but can’t quite articulate. It’s like they walk into your office and smell something but can’t quite put their finger on what it is.  But if they looked under your desk they’d see boxes ready to be shipped off somewhere else.

    And then when you play your exit card… it all clicks. They knew you were a fake all along.

    What people need

    2008-2010 taught people that the American Dream is largely a lie. We learned that you can’t mortgage your way to wealth. We learned that companies have no loyalty to employees. We learned that more education doesn’t guarantee you lifetime employment. We learned that corporations can steal houses from hard-working families. And we learned that the next generation will likely not be wealthier or more educated than their parents.

    This has knocked our country off its equilibrium. It has forced Americans to do very un-American things like reject the notion that all people are equal. (Core to the health care debate) Or the central theme that our nation is built on accepting immigrants. (Rejection of the DREAM Act and all forms of immigration reform) I could go on… but it’s not the point of this post.

    We need bedrock. We need leaders in our community who have hitched their horse in our neighborhood. Who declare that they won’t leave our community. We need the talents, voice, intelligence, passion, and tenacity of church leaders who see themselves as ministers to the community at-large and not just the few who pay their rent.

    We need activists. We need leaders who will stand up for the rights of the minority in our communities and hold their hand in the public arena in Jesus name. We need people who have stood the test of time and been the pain in the neck of the good old boys for long enough to see real change.

    We need retirement parties. We need leaders who are willing to stick it out for their career. Who aspire to have a street named after them more than a book with their name on it. We need leaders who recognize that long-term ministry means good times and bad times. We need leaders who recognize that their role may morph. We need leaders who dream that one day they will be recognized for 40 years of service with a cake and a party. (And maybe we won’t be, and that’s OK, too.)

    That’s where church leadership will be in 20 years. The question for you is simple: Will you be here in 20 years or will you be doing something else? It’s up to you.

  • What does restoration look like?

    Here is our old youth pastor, Adam. Photo by Ann Larie Valentine via Flickr (Creative Commons)

    My heart breaks for those hurt by the church. Specifically, for people called to full-time ministry, but gravely injured by the people they were called to serve.

    Hardly a day goes by when I don’t interact with a youth pastor or former youth pastor who was deeply wounded by their church.

    The church treated them like a couch. One day they are the centerpiece of the metaphorical living room and the next day they were moved to the curb and left for the garbage truck to pick them up.

    When you are called to a church you are applauded publicly. People pray for you. You are brought up front to acknowledge that the leadership feels you have been called to be a central figure in the church. But when they no longer need you? They basically kick you out of community, shame you, and write a small check for your private pain, and pretend you never existed.

    While I recognize that there is always another side to their story– it nonetheless paints a vivid picture of what that church really believes.

    • You have to behave a certain way or perform to a certain expectation level or we will kick you out.
    • When we wrong someone, we cover it up with hush money, and we never ask for forgiveness, even when we are clearly wrong.
    • When we wrong someone, we never restore either them or the relationship privately or publicly.

    It just leaves me to wonder about the state of the church. We reach less than 10% of the population on a weekly basis. And we don’t think our private institutional sins impact that at all!

    It leaves me with three questions to ponder as I begin my work week:

    • What does it look like for the institution to seek forgiveness?
    • What would it look like if we restored people?
    • What do I need to do to seek forgiveness and restoration of both relationship and position in my life?

    May we become a church who loves its staff as fellow men and women on the journey.

  • Let Grace be our language

    Is grace enough for you?

    Maybe I’m a cynic but I don’t think grace is a hallmark of a lot of Christians. We’re too busy having unrealistic expectations for one another and then wallowing in the disappointment of failed relationships.

    I’m too busy judging you for judging me for grace!

    Let’s get past this oddity of evangelical culture and descend into the heart of what we believe.

    We’re all perfectly imperfect. We need to expect imperfection from the people around us while individually, through the power of Jesus, trying to make our live more like Jesus. Not to celebrate it. But build it into our expectations for one another.

    I sin. I am messy. I hate things about my nature. Loathe even. I sadden myself with my sinfulness. Sometimes I disgust myself.

    Failure is a part of our walk with Christ. Some would say it is the beginning of our walk with Jesus. It’s part of being a leader. It’s part of maturing. It’s part of learning.

    You simply cannot walk with Jesus in a state of false perception of yourself, your mess, and your unique ability to do the wrong thing at the wrong moment.

    Think about it like this…

    The whole reason God created Eve was not for a sin bringing playmate. It was because the Father looked at his creation and said, “Its not good for man to be alone.”

    There is no more alone place than in a broken relationship. Conversely, there is little more powerful on this world than a grace-filled relationship with two people.

    Here’s my encouragement

    Every day you are given the choice between grace and judgement. In all things, chose grace.

  • If you don’t want to play with the big boys…

    Photo by Callan Christiano via Flickr (Creative Commons)

    Stay on the porch.

    I remember my mom saying this when I was a kid. One of us would come home crying because we got a bloody nose or a scraped knee from playing 2-hand-touch football or 21 in basketball, and she’d just kind of sarcastically say, “If you don’t want to play with the big boys… stay on the porch.” I think she said it with a smile– but the message is still the same.

    Getting roughed up is just part of life. When the kids come to ask who wants to play– the wimps stay home and play inside.

    The same is true for church leaders today

    I’m 34 years old. I’m not getting any younger or more energetic from here on out. Welcome to middle-age, baby.

    I know a whole lot of people who work in churches who are about 5 years above or below me. They have all the education and experience they need to lead their churches from the mire they find themselves in. And yet they sit on the porch like little brothers. “I’m not on the board.” Or “I’m not the lead pastor.” Or “I don’t like conflict.”

    They levy excuses like, “I could never say things like you say and keep my job.” Or “I really admire the stand you take on ____.”

    If you are 29-39 years old… welcome to the prime time. If no one else is saying it to you, I will: This is your opportunity. Everyone is waiting for you to do something. If you need permission… it’s not going to happen. Make your own permission!

    I’m tiring of people who are sitting on the porch, waiting to get in the game, being told that they don’t have quite the correct age or position or rank to do anything significant.

    That’s a lie from the mouth of the devil. Wake up! Game on!

    Leaders lead people to where they would otherwise not go on their own. Period.

    Leaders don’t sit on their hands politely and bide their time waiting for someone in leadership to bestow on them magical powers to lead. They lead. It is who they are more than a position they hold.

    In other words, they see that getting your nose bloodied here and there is part of playing with the big boys. That may mean you get fired. So what? That may mean people say mean things about you. So what? That may mean you might have to stand down a group of older men/women in charge. So what?

    At least you got fired doing something. It’s better than getting fired for doing nothing.

    The power to change things is rarely given to you by sitting back and being patient. Just ask Prince Charles how well that is working for him. Power is taken. Power is awarded. But power is rarely given to really good middle managers.

    And the secret is that the people in power are waiting for you to stand up to them and take it. How else will they know you are ready to lead?

    Sitting around on your hands and watching the big boys play until you are viewed as old enough is just going to result in your doing nothing another year. Stop sitting in your corner, reading another Christian leadership book, and get in the game.

    Your community is dying because of your passivity.

    Today is the day. Now is the time. Lace up and get in the game.

  • Wanted: Maladjusted Activists

    No application necessary. Work from home.

    Position available immediately.