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3 Things I Don’t Want to Hear From a Pastor…. EVER!
Talk about your sex life. How gross is it to hear any 40 something year old man talk about sex with his spouse? It’s especially gross for a pastor to talk about having sex with his wife while she sits and blushes in the audience. And Ed Young, yeah… we know sex is beautiful… but no one wants to know how many times you had sex in a week. I think I just puked in my bulletin.- Talk about your past careers. I know working at a church can pretty redundant and boring. And sometimes you feel like your role is insignificant next to the corporate types who write the big checks. Get over it, you aren’t a _____ anymore. You’re a pastor, your congregation loves you, and we know you could make more money elsewhere. Please don’t remind us of that every week, we don’t care.
- Using your kids sin as an illustration. Holy smokes this has got to damage kids self-image. Can you imagine the horror of not only being busted doing something bad but then having your mom or dad tell hundreds… or even thousands of people about it? No wonder so many pastor kids grow up hating Jesus. Cough. ***golden rule*** Cough. Cough.
Now that I’m a regular Joe sitting in the pew on Sunday morning, I’ve gotten a chance to discover some things that are awkward for the audience to hear. In short, I don’t think pastors should say these things… EVER!
Thankfully, Stephen rarely does any of these.
So what do I suggest? I know that these 3 things tend to come up because you need a good illustration. And typically, when I’ve let these types of things sneak in it is because I don’t have time to really research a great illustration. But you know they are “winners” and will go over with the core audience well because it’s personal and the people love you. But, be honest, these three things tend to come out most often when you have little time to prepare.
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Adam’s Giddy Little Girl Moment
Today we released segment one of two that I shot with David Crowder in Pittsburgh.
Not much makes me star struck in this world. But doing this podcast episode with David Crowder made me all giggly. Seriously, it was kind of sick how excited I was. Next to meeting a U.S. President for a discussion on politics or playing eighteen holes at Pebble Beach with Tiger Woods or doing a follow-up SNL skit with Adam Sandler where we sang a duet of Red Hooded Sweatshirt… I don’t think I could have been as nervous about meeting someone as I was in meeting Mr. Crowder.
Of course, it was not worth being nervous about. He was very cool and easy to talk to. And I felt appropriately silly for being so excited. On top of that, the shoot happened so spontaneously and was so short that it wasn’t worth being giddy about after all.
So, there’s my confession. I’m human and I get excited about meeting people I admire. Mock me. I can handle it.
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Holiday Break redux
After a refreshingly long break I head back to the office today. The grind. The gig. Workski. The ole j-o-b. OK, none of those really apply since I enjoy my job quite a bit. It’s also a day when I crank it all back up. I’ve got blog posts to publish, the podcast to push out, Facebook messages to send, emails to reply to, and a lot more.
So what did I do with my two weeks off?
- Lots of rest. I think I went to bed early and tried my best to sleep in every day.
- Plenty of reading. I’m about halfway done with my third novel, The Hour I First Believed. About 175 pages into it I finally got hooked. I’m hoping to get that one done soon.
- Took a serious look at our money situation. I think it’s always good to start off the New Year with a clear look at what we need to do in that department.
- Kristen and I worked together a lot. I got a taste of her life as she headed off to work and I stayed home with the kiddos. That was awesome. We built and launched Beyond The Zoo, and yesterday I get a good jump on her blog redesign.
- We hosted Dave for a week. It was a good visit. We did a lot, we didn’t do a lot.
- Watched a lot of football and TV. The surprise came a few nights ago when we watched Michael Douglass in King of California.
That’s really about it! It was nice to slow down. It was awesome to spend so much time with the kids.
And now, it’s time to get ready for work. Gotta go.
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Repairing a Wet iPod Touch
The other day our youngest son had his mom’s iPod Touch with him as he headed to the bathroom. Resting the device near the sink seemed safe. That is, until he started washing his hands. Moments later he came back out and handed a soaking wet iPod to his mom.
Fearing the worst we fired it up and were happy to see that it was still working. But on further inspection it was clear that there was some moisture under the screen.
Never fear, we have a fix for that! Actually, this works for iPods, cell phones, and pretty much any small electronic advice that’s a little bit wet. Put this tip in your arsenal.
Step One: Power off the device as soon as possible. For an iPod that just means shutting it down. But if it has a battery or is connected to a power supply… turn it off quickly!
Step Two: Dry it off as well as possible with what is visible to you. Don’t take anything apart. Don’t shake it. Just get it dry as possible with a towel.
Step Three: Wrap it in a paper towel and place it a ziplock bag. Don’t seal the ziplock bag! That’ll just make things worse.
Step Four: Place the bag in a window sill or on the dashboard of your car.
Step Five: Give it some time. A day usually seems to do the trick.
Step Six: Take it out of the bag and fire it up.
Typically, this process will remove moisture from circuitry. If it doesn’t fire up it’s safe to say that you have cooked a board or something like that. You can try the process again but if it doesn’t turn on at all it’s not looking good. For us, this process has fixed several phones and, we’re happy to report, removed moisture from mommy’s iPod screen.
What if this doesn’t work? If there is a major problem and this didn’t work I’d suggest talking to my friends at The Pod Drop. Seriously, these guys are better than Apple repair. Typically, Apple will just give you a new one and if isn’t under warranty they will tell you to buy a new one. I’ve seen it myself, the folks at The Pod Drop can bring back almost any DOA iPod. Even better, if they look at it and it can’t be repaired they will likely buy it from you for parts and apply that towards the purchase of a new one.
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The Longest Trip Home by John Grogan
I’m not sure where I first heard this phrase but, as a parent, I think about it all the time. “It’s a parents job to mess a kid up, it’s their life’s work to put it all back together.”
That could be the byline for John Grogan’s book, The Longest Trip Home.
This memoir picks up early in John’s life in the Detroit suburbs. Like a lot of families, John was born in Detroit but his parents sought solace and safety in the burgeoning oasis that developed near the industrial areas of Pontiac in the mid-1690s. His neighborhood was a developers dream, complete with a lake, Catholic church, and outlot where all the families could have a common swimming area.
The truth was that John’s parents chose their lot in the neighborhood because of its proximity to the church. His life was defined by daily mass, Catholic schools, and vacation to North American sightings of the Virgin Mary. They were not a run-of-the-mill Catholic family, they were a Super Catholic family.
The Longest Trip Home is a faith story. Moreover, it is a case study in how we raise kids in the church. Let’s just say John’s parents didn’t get it right. It seems that their primary faith development tools were fear, fear, and fear. As soon as the kids discovered that their sins didn’t immediately send them to hell they were all out of there. While their bodies went to church their brains and hearts never did.
That’s where the mischief started. In youth ministry terms, we’d say John began living a dualistic life. He did his best to maintain a clean cut happy face to his parents. But when they weren’t looking John was into all the things you’d expect a kid in the early 1970s to go through.
John’s story of walking away from his faith begins to slowly turn subtly in his adulthood. As his parents guilt trip him for everything from skipping to church to living with his girlfriend his hatred towards the hypocrisy grows. Yet buried in his annoyance is a seed of questioning that begins to grow.
This isn’t a Christian book. And the author’s life doesn’t resolve into a tidy feel good story. John Grogan is not going to write the Catholic version of Mere Christianity any time soon. But what it does is raise some interesting questions about faith development and our role as parents.
Most disturbing in John’s story is that his story towards faith isn’t about connecting with God, it’s about connecting with his parents. And that, my friends, is something worth exploring.
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Saturday Tunes
I think cabin fever has settled into the McLane household. We are all stir crazy and we are all waiting for the weather to turn just a big so we can go do something. Anything will do.
I think we’re headed to a farmer’s market or some sort of outdoor deal today. Fresh air will do us all some good.
In the meantime, as always, I find a moment of solace with some early morning tunes. Here are the next 10 tunes rattling my ear drums this first Saturday in January. As always, completely random and ratings included.
#1 Replace Me by Family Force 5 ***
#2 Ancient History by Hawk Nelson ***
#3 Old Love by Eric Clapton ***
#4 You Give Me Something by James Morrison ****
#5 Brighter Days by Leeland ****
#6 Spaceman by The Killers ****
#7 All Because of Jesus by Steve Fee ***
#8 Tell Me Something Good by P!nk **** (Happy Feet Soundtrack)
#9 What a Wonderful World by Louis Armstrong ****
#10 Never Never by Brick & Lace ***
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Launching Beyond The Zoo
As I’ve talked about here a few times, Kristen and I have collaborated to create a new website. In truth, it’s just a convergence of two great passions for both of us… blogging and eating!
The whole point of BeyondTheZoo.com is to help people discover hidden gems in San Diego County. We know that when people come to visit they will automatically check out the zoo. And we love the zoo! Our hope is to help visitors (and locals) discover unique and fun hole in the walls.
Of course, Kristen and I have always loved finding unique places! Wherever we’ve lived we have hunted for special places to take our friends. So, BeyondTheZoo.com is really just fulfilling a lifelong passion and pursuit.
Anyway, this is what we’ve been working on for the last month. So far, it’s been a blast working with Kristen on the design. We’ve taken a lot of what we learned by starting YMX and applied some wisdom, too.
And… we waited to launch it until January 1st so I could fulfill my only New Year’s resolution of 2008. No new websites! This is our first.. I’ve got a few more I’ve been dying to launch.
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Excited about 2009
As far as years go 2008 has been a crazy one. The year started off with me gasping for air between rounds of Kidstown events and ended with a long time of rest and reflection after moving our family across the country and launching myself in a new direction. To quote Mike Yaconelli, “What a ride!”
As 2008 takes it’s last spin on the disco ball known as Earth I wanted to record a few of the things I’m excited about for 2009.
#1 A simpler life continuing. It may sound weird that moving into an urban setting, Kristen taking a job, and both kids now in elementary school is actually simpler for us, but it is. Unlike before, we’re living within our means and building healthy boundaries between our work, play, jobs, and church life.
#2 To social media and beyond! I’m looking forward to the two-fold reality of getting deeper into the social media scene while at the same time venturing into new things.
#3 A hobby with my wife. For the first time in our relationship Kristen and I have purposed to do something together. Those who know us know how true it is that we often have had different worlds. Purposing to have the same hobby of Beyond The Zoo is going to bring us closer together.
#4 Golf. After a 3 year sabbatical from the game I will be resolving to get my game back in shape. I’d love to find a league or a volunteer opportunity to force me to play. How in the world could a lifelong golfer live in San Diego and not play?
#5 A vacation. No idea where we are headed or what we will do. But the family will definitely require a trip somewhere.
#6 A new place to live. Our lease is up in February and we’ve already told our landlady we intend to move. That said, we’re starting to look at places in the SDSU area, City Heights, Rolando, Kensington, or somewhere else near our church. We need more space.
#7 New stuff at Youth Ministry Exchange. Starting soon I will have a weekly column ay YMX. After kicking around a lot of ideas I’ve decided to stick with my passion. It’s going to be a weekly encouragement. Recognizing how little worship and preaching most of us hear as we lead the students… I hope it’s helpful to fill a tiny bit of the void. Plus, YMX’s main site has a brand new look we’re popping out soon.
#8 Some cool stuff at YS. Now that I’m not “the new guy” anymore it’s fun to be around some of our things from genesis through release. I’m excited about increasing my impact at work in 2009. More importantly, I am still shocked that God has allowed me the ability to impact the lives of youth workers through YS. Gosh, that is too cool.
#9 Unloading the Michigan homestead. Hard to believe that our house in Romeo has been vacant since the first week of August. We have a buyer and we’re waiting on the banks to do their thing. Originally, we had hoped that we’d be done with the house by the close of 2008. One way or the other, we will be done with the house in 2009.
#10 Kid Stuff. Megan and Paul have hit the age where childhood hits the afterburner and starts to speed along. Blogging is awesome in that I get to capture little snapshots, literally and figurately, of their lives for posterity sake. Both of their personalities are blossoming and I’m falling deeper and deeper in love with these kids God chose for us.
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