VOTE: Cobra Pit Cleaner Ad

Contest: Submit a Craigslist-styled ad for the video above. (Entries closed, see entries here)

VOTE! Read the three entries below and cast your vote. Winner announced Wednesday morning.


A: Middle-Management Position – Submitted by Kevin A.

Middle-management position has recently become available to oversee a quiver of ground-floor executives hungry for leadership. The selected candidate will demonstrate the ability to think quickly on their feet while maintaining order in chaos. Experience in sorting socks preferred but not required.

In accordance with our company’s new-hire policy, employee’s first check will be held for two weeks.

B: Animal Caretaker Wanted – Submitted by Jason B.

Tired of the rat race? Like working outside with interesting animals? We’re looking for a reliable, venturesome, hands-on person who will clean and maintain an exclusive over-sized worm farm. Previous experience HIGHLY recommended, but not required.

Excellent Benefits include: A swig of whiskey to start each shift properly relaxed. All the Easter egg shells you can find are yours to keep. The company may opt to purchase life insurance on Caretaker (came in handy with last employee).

High-quality broom and pooper-scooper provided. Must supply your own sandals and first aid kit.

Serious inquiries only. Don’t let this opportunity slither away!

Location: Conveniently located just 43 miles from local hospital.

C: Volunteers Needed to Help Stop Impended Cobra Infanticide – Submitted by Matt C.

Are you passionate about cobras and their babies? Does it sadden you to witness the rampant cobra infanticide we see in the news all over the world? Now you can do something about it!

See one cobra infanticide in action here. (warning, this may disturb you)

Wouldn’t it be great if a great big PAPA cobra stepped in to rescue those baby cobras?

We are organizing volunteers on every continent to dress up as PAPA COBRA’S and interrupt cobra baby infanticides as they occur. Here is an example of a PAPA COBRA:

That could be you! You can rescue the baby cobras in your neighborhood! If you are interested in volunteering in a high-density cobra zone like India or Indonesia, please indicate that in your email. We have some wealthy PAPA COBRA donors who’d like to help you fly there to help thousands of baby cobras this summer!

Contact us today by responding to this ad or visiting our website:

VOTE – Voting closes Tuesday at midnight (PST)

Note: Winner to receive a $25 gift card from

By Adam McLane

Kristen and Adam live in Ahwahnee, California.

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