OK, so in order to really appreciate this video you need to know that Kristen has no moves whatsoever. She loves music. She actually likes to dance and clap to music. But the poor woman… well, she has no beat. And this has long held her back from sharing her dance-worthy moments with the general public.
But put her in an orphanage full of children filled with joy– no problem!
Summer officially began on Memorial Day, 5 weeks ago.
A whole hodgepodge of things have happened.
Why 13 years?
I think the conviction to host this party was born one day last fall as I was stumbling through the Old Testament. Over and over again I saw the phrase, “remember the things the Lord has done.” And as I read that it just kind of hit me… when was the last time I just celebrated something? Like… for no other reason than to celebrate extravagantly in what God has done?
Never. That’s when.
In kind, I gave this party to Kristen as a part of my Christmas gift. She never saw it coming. And since December 25th we had been talking about and planning for June 25th.
The party was a gift to us. The party was a gift for our friends. And the party was a gift for our kids.
It was definitely a gift given and a gift received. About 25 people gathered at our vacation rental for a BBQ. There were times when I would just look around and the only thing I could do was smile!
Thirteen years of marriage may not be a traditional year to celebrate a marriage. But thirteen years married to me? Kristen deserved some recognition.
We did it!
It feels good just to say it. “We had a successful vacation.”
Last night, Kristen and I went for a walk in our neighborhood and this was really the summary statement of our week in Carlsbad.
It was nice to get away while only traveling about 40 minutes from our house. I don’t have any fascinating results to reveal… but here is a hodgepodge of things I’m thinking about last week.
I’ll be getting back to my normal blogging self by the end of the week.
We’ve got this crazy idea that we want to know where our food comes from.
It’s odd for me to think that oranges grow in my backyard but an orange I buy at Vons probably comes from Australia. Walking through your grocery store there are literally foods from every corner of the globe.
Not only do we like knowing where our food comes from, we’d prefer if it came to us locally. Of course, a growing chunk of our produce is coming from our own backyard. But as we learn how to do that (and time that) we’ve depended on the CSA (community supported agriculture) of JR Organics in Escondido. They help us city dwellers maintain a connection with farmers in the country.
Since January, our family has gone over to the North Park Farmers Market each Thursday to pick up our box of produce from the farm. I don’t get to go very often, but when I do Megan dutifully leads me through the various vendors to “our table” where a member of the Rodriguez family takes our recyclable box and hands us a new one full of fresh fruit and veggies.
Yes, we probably pay a little more per item than we would at the grocery store. But we know where the food comes from and we know that the money we pay goes directly to the farmer… no middle man. No corporation. No buyer. No warehouse. Stuff in our box Thursday was likely picked Tuesday or Wednesday. You can taste the difference.
As the pictures show, we went on a tour yesterday. The kids started off with high expectations and were let down that it wasn’t as much fun as Sea World from the time we left the car. But as you can see as the tour goes on, they get more and more excited. I loved watching from a field away (they had an adult tour and a kids tour) our kids running up and down the hills as they explored and learned about farming. At the end of the tour the family rolled out the red carpet and fed us a fabulous lunch of fresh stuff from the farm. Soups, salads, juices, roasted veggies, chicken, and an amazing dessert.
The tour provided a rich afternoon of learning and connection to the farm. As we drove away Kristen and I just couldn’t stop talking about how nice everyone was, how cool the farm was, and how excited we are to see more than 100 people show up for the tour. (It sold out!)
If you live in San Diego county and are looking for a CSA, I highly recommend JR Organics. They aren’t the cheapest option out there, but they are fantastic.
Believe it or not, CSAs exist all over the place. If you’re ready to give it a try, check out this link to find one in your area.
So, today I turn 34. Dang I am old. Here’s how long I’m going to lament about getting older. (One mississippi, two mississippi, three mississippi.)
That’s enough self-pity. I feel better now.
Now back to being bossy.
I’m not much of a birthday guy. I like other people’s birthdays. I love my children’s birthdays. But I don’t really get into my birthday. Maybe I have daddy issues? Maybe I am not over getting a Grover birthday cake when I was 5 when I really wanted a Cookie Monster cake? Or maybe I’m just socially awkward? Who cares… let’s talk about what you can do for me on my birthday.
Three ways that you can celebrate my birthday which will make me smile.
It was fun to just relax at the beach yesterday. We all got a bit too much sun. The water was frigid. (57 degrees!) But we found a good parking spot and set up… and just did nothing. You’ll see in the pictures that the kids had a blast jumping off and playing on a very large mound of kelp and sand.
I guess this means summer is officially here.
I am thankful for Memorial Day weekend. A beach day ahead– but that’s not why I’m so happy it’s the official start to summer. I’m just happy to get May out of the way.
The last 45 days have sucked for us financially. Like, literally, there has been a vacuum attachment having its way with our bank account.
A mistake on a tax form. SLURP. A little fender bender with an uninsured driver. SLURP. Some bi-annual bills. SLURP. SLURP. SLURP. Paying for our summer vacation. SLURP. Going on a mission trip. SLURP. Replacing some broken stuff. SLURP.
Two points of celebration. This series of unscheduled bills brought out all of the temptations.
I logged into Mint the other day and I expected a pop-up to slide down and go… “You’re kidding me right now, aren’t you?” May was a blood bath of a month for us. But we got through it and we’re happy to see it go.
I can’t wait for June. I’m ready to start off a new month.
In part four of this series, I’ll offer some conclusions and solutions for reversing the trend of deifying our children. To catch up on the series, check out part one, two, and three.
This is the important question. Hopefully you’ve read through this series and reflected on the situation, the parents you know, or even your own habits as a parents and thought, “There must be another option.” When baby Rex pops out of his mom’s womb he doesn’t deserve to be worshipped. He’s a child. To deify him really messes him up. And making baby Rex the center of your life really messes parents up, too.
It wasn’t always this way. It’s not meant to be this way. And our society just can’t move forward with it being this way.
I actually think most parents never stopped to think about the goal of their parenting. Just like an engaged couple only thinks about the wedding day (and night) and not the marriage, that same couple thinks about becoming parents but not the goal of raising a child. Then the kid comes and their life gets upside down in a pile of photos and dirty diapers. The default goal becomes the American dream. They never stop to think that maybe pursuing the American dream will be a nightmare.
For me the goal is simple: I’d like my kids to become healthy, happy, and independent adults.
Certainly, I’d love to see Megan or Paul grow up to be more successful than me. I’d love it if they chose a career path that I can brag about to my friends. But as think about that last statement… “that I can brag about to my friends” I guess I really mean that I want to brag about how satisfied my kids are. Are they pursuing their dreams the way I did? Have they found a spouse they adore? Is their work fun and fulfilling?
Wow! That changes everything, doesn’t it? If my goal for raising my kids is that they are healthy, happy, and independent… I really can work backwards from that.
That affords me a working backwards action plan that is reasonable and in line with what I know of God’s plan.
You don’t have to be a psychologist to know this is true:
Rather than try to offer advice for raising a healthy, happy, and independent child– I’ll just off the questions that we wrestle through. We don’t have it all figured out. But we have determined that we will not have a baby Rex. Our relationship with God is primary in our marriage. Our marriage flows from our relationship with God. And we believe (hope, pray, beg!) that if we get that right, there’s a pretty good chance that our kids will become healthy, happy independent adults.
What does a healthy home look like? What role does church play? What are the rules? Are they comfortable and safe in their role as a child? What are the boundaries? What are the rewards? How does a healthy home talk to one another? How does a healthy home motivate children? What type of schedule does a healthy home maintain? How many nights of activities does a healthy home have?
What is the profile of a happy kid? Do they have chores? How are they treated? Are they given autonomy? Do they have friends? Are their lives scheduled? How is success measured? Are they a project to be managed? Are they trusted? How do they acquire stuff? What role does church play in a happy kids life? What role does discipline play?
Can they make choices for themselves? Can they care for themselves? Do they know how to clean? Do they know how to earn money? Save money? Budget money? Do they know what to look for in a friend? Can they handle social dynamics? Do they bear the weight of the consequences for their choices? Can they have conversations with adults?
Today Megan, my oldest child, turns nine. To celebrate I thought it would be appropriate to share nine things that are awesome about Megan.