Category: hmm… thoughts

  • Fast Wednesday

    Yesterday was a blur.

    I got up early and finally wrote the post about turning Croswell into a charter school. (Actually wanted to do that before the vote, oh well.) Then it was off to the races. Walked to the trolley. Long line at Starbucks caused me to miss my trolley… though a nice mocha and the Car Talk podcast helped me relax and enjoy the wait.

    It was during that wait time that I noticed that Marko activated his new blog theme that I helped create. That was a fun project! His blog is now SEO-friendly, looks a lot cleaner, and helps establish his personal brand a little more. While no work was needed on my part for this, it was just something else to monitor.

    Once I got to the office it was rush around and get ready for the May NYWC conference call. Thankfully, Jonathan helped me out by taking the lead on the Real World Parents newsletter. Traditionally, we each do about 50% of the content and I set it up, test it, and send it out. Taking that off my plate really helped as I worked through the details of the call. Going into it, we were 90% sure what we wanted to do. I wanted Marko to talk in the beginning part about the “why” of what we’re doing at convention this fall, then I wanted to field questions. Despite a massive GotoWebinar fail, the live streaming video portion went really well. Here’s the video from that.

    With that, the first half of my day was done. A co-worker dropped me off at Enterprise and I rented a car (actually, they gave me a sweet Nissan Frontier) and I drove up to Orange County for a quick meeting. I drove up to meet with Dave Gibbons, he’s an author and pastor of Newsong church based out of Irvine, to shoot a quick video about NYWC. The drive went fast as I caught up with some people about other projects… literally, a 90 minute drive felt like 15 minutes. I arrived about 30 minutes early… rare… so I headed into the offices to wait for my 4 PM meeting. (And recharge my batteries!) About 15 minutes later Dave’s assistant asked me to come in and get set-up. Since his office is extremely awesome, setting up only took me about 5 minutes. In the middle of that, Dave came in early from his previous meeting. Literally, I had his shoot ready to go, shot, and I was out the door at 4:01 PM.

    From there, it was off to the races to beat traffic back south to San Diego. I sailed through, making it home at my normal 6:00 on the dot.

    I both love and hate days like this. I love that it is fun, I get a lot done, and the impact is obvious. I hate that there is so much to do that I can’t really enjoy it.

    Nearly a year after starting at YS… I’m still shaking my head at the opportunity.     Yesterday, I spent time moderating a discussion with Marko about the biggest event in my industry. Then I casually drove up and spent time with one of the greatest emerging leaders in evangelicalism. And then I was home by 6. Yeah, I’m not over how much God has hooked me up.

  • Get a Mystery Box, Will Ya?



    Go here to learn more about the project.

    Here’s a fun back story that I didn’t share on the blog or the video. Ian [YS’s media guru] and I went down to City Heights to shoot this piece last Tuesday night. I hadn’t met Christopher before, but Ian knew him from the shoot he did for the NYWC story last year. Reality Changers meets in this very cool office building, a gem of a building in a transforming neighborhood. We were welcomed with a surprise. Each time they meet parents from the group provide a meal to students and they invited us to join in. Let me just say… it was some good eats! But that’s not the cool part of the story.

    Ian and I had an opportunity to sit in on part of their big group program. We were in for a treat as one of the students was sharing about his recent trip to the east coast. See, Reality Changers had helped him change his reality big time. Not only was this young man going to get to go to college, he got to chose between attending Harvard or Columbia. He told us every painstaking detail about his flight, the subway, what he ate, who he met, on and on.

    You know, I knew Reality Changers was doing amazing things. But to hear just how amazing… shocking!

    So, help YS and Reality Changers. Make a donation of $20 or more and YS will send you a box full of goodies.

  • Fail Forward

  • Our Housing Nightmare: Coming Soon

    nightmare_bailey

    Kristen and I have doozy of a story to tell. It will make you laugh. It will make you cry. It will make you call your congressmen. It will make you sell your stock in banks. Most importantly, it will show you the difference between media hype about the housing market and Main Street realities. If you liked The Perfect Storm, you’ll love our story.

    It will start something like this, “In America, we expect stories to have a happy ending.  But this is no fairy tale, this is a real estate story from Michigan 2008. Watch as our American Dream turns into a nightmare.”

    The last couple chapters of the real story are yet to be written. When it’s all officially done and the dust has settled, I will write all about it.

    Until then, my friends, just know that we’re doing fine. To be continued…

  • The Double Edged Sword of Awe

    geiserWe are all born with a desire for religious experience. God made us this way. Each of us has had experiences in which the only description of our emotions is awe. These are intimate moments between you and God, a person, or a even location or event. While God intended for this awe to be for Him, our humanity doesn’t reserve them to Him exclusively. It’s a human response of deep connectedness. Most often there is a build-up and anticipation to the experience. You want it to happen so bad, it finally does, and the experience overwhelms you because it is better than you’d imagined.

    Here are some awe experiences people mention as the highlights of their lives.

    – Seeing a bear in the wild.

    – Liftoff of the space shuttle.

    – Sexual intimacy

    tiger_17_425x600– Hitting the winning basket, scoring the winning touchdown, nailing the winning putt.

    – Exploring a beautiful coastline in Ireland.

    – Worshipping with thousands of believers at a conference.

    – Meeting God for the first time at a retreat.

    – Starting your own business and earning your first dollar.

    Most often, these are intensely personal moments of awe. The experience defies description and is often too intimate to even talk about. Even during the moment your emotions run high.

    This is the first edge to the sword. It’s a good edge. The pursuit of this high and the after effects/remembrance of this high produce tremendous energy for people. This religious experience forms a deep bond between that individual and that event, object, or person. It is something they shared that was intimate and powerful.

    Industries exist to help people pursue this experience, don’t they? We seek the awe-inspiring moment and wise capitalists provide tours of Ireland and Yellowstone. Religious events build anticipation for these moments knowing that they will draw thousands of seekers. How many clubs, bars, and dance clubs exist for the sole purpose of a common meeting ground for people seeking a sexual experience? On and on.

    But that sword has a second, more dangerous edge to it, doesn’t it? Once you have this religious experience you seek to have it again. I mean, if the high of that moment… seeing the bear… crossing the rope bridge to a tiny island… having a killer day with a new business… sinking the putt to win the big tournament… it will never be the same as the first time.

    In fact, many industries sustain because they know there will always be people who are seeking the second experience. They are in the exhilaration/disappointment business. They know that a weery businessman will lay down tens of thousands of dollars to go on tours of Ireland again. And then when he doesn’t find what he is looking for he will go to Scotland, Iceland, and the Gallapogos. The sex industry exists because people are seeking a more amazing sexual experience than “that amazing time.” Parents will relentlessly drive their children into sports in hopes that one day their kid will have the amazing experience they did of scoring a touchdown to win the big game. Certainly, many youth groups thrive because teenagers are seeking to repeat an intense religious experience they had at a retreat.  Get-rich-quick schemes work because people remember that one time when they made easy money and they want it to happen again.

    The truth is this. The secret is this. The learning point is this. Once you have that amazing moment, don’t try to repeat it. It will never be the same the second time. When you take someone back to that spot… it’ll be awesome for them… but a let-down for you. If you can’t handle that let-down, just let that awesome one-time experience live in your memory.

  • Saturday Tunes

    Saturday TunesIt’s been a good week. OK, better than average. It’s been a really nice week. A friend was nice enough to watch our kids on Monday and Wednesday. (Last week of their 3 week Spring Break) She took them to the pool, had some wicked great activities, and on Wednesday they went to see Disney’s Earth movie. Tuesday, Kristen stayed home with them and took them to the Kroc Center pool. Thursday was my day, I took the kids to Sea World… fulfilling one of my lifelong desires to see Shamu. I suppose the kids had a good time too. Yesterday, the kids tagged along with me in the office for a few hours and then we drove up to Oceanside to hang with dear friends from Romeo, Fran and Andrea.

    On top of that, we got our State and Federal tax returns. That was a major fast-forward towards our financial goals for 2009.

    Now its the weekend. Kristen is already off to her weekly romp up Cowles Mountain. Later this morning I’ll take the dog to the beach so he can play in the water. In the meantime, I’m chilling and listening to some music. Here are the next 10 songs on my playlist. As always, selected at random and my ratings included.

    #1 Only Want to Be With You by Hootie & The Blowfish ***** [classic!]

    #2 Up the Spout by Mateo Messina *****

    #3 O, For a Thousand Tonges to Sing by David Crowder Band ****

    #4 Not To Us/Here is Our King by Todd Fields **

    #5 Afterall by Jason Harwell ****

    #6 Crazy Beautiful by Chasen *****

    #7 Sweet Home Alabama by Lynyrd Skynyrd *****

    #8 Undignified by David Crowder Band ****

    #9 Absolute by The Fray ****

    #10 Earthquake by Family Force 5 *****

  • Getting it right, Getting it wrong

    right-wrong

    Today I can do no wrong. According to Megan and Paul I am the smartest and most excellent father in the history of the planet. Then again, I’ve bribed them into this behavior by taking them to Sea World later this morning.

    It’s weird how in life there is a fine line between getting it right and getting it wrong. Yesterday, I read this post by Greg Stier where he confessed that he blew it in sharing his faith with a couple of guys at a McDonald’s. A fine line. A couple days ago, I posted about our small group having the most amazing night at the beach. It was a fine line there too, wasn’t it?

    This is what I’m thinking about this morning. The more relaxed about whom I am, the more confident that I am that I’m walking daily with Jesus, the more passionate I am about what God is laying on my heart to do… the more comfortable with the reality that sometimes I’m going to get things right, sometimes I’m going to get things wrong.

    I think for too long I bought into the concept that I needed to get it right way more than I got it wrong. The reality is though… when I focused purely on getting things right I always played it safe.

    The next question, is playing it safe good or bad?

  • The greatest small group night ever

    ob_small-group1I’ve done small groups in one form or another most of the last 15 years. I’ve been in high school, college, and adult small groups. I’ve lead middle school, high school, college, and adult small groups. I’ve always wanted a small group that gelled and did awesome things… and I could never make it happen as a leader. Just when I had nearly given up on small groups, along came Harbor and my stupid insane idea to say “yes” to hosting this group after visiting a church one time.

    It’s been about 8 months and I can’t imagine a better community group to be a part of. I’m growing. We’re growing. And I think we’re making an impact on the people around us. Moreover, I can’t think of a better church to be a part of in this season of my life. That may sound like hype… but you need to understand what happened tonight to see why I dig Harbor so much.

    Last week we decided that it would be fun to meet at Ocean Beach for a bonfire. For those who read this outside of San Diego all you need to know if that OB is kind of a leftover surfer area full of artists, hippies, beach bums, and those who can afford to live down there who probably secretly wish they were one too. The beach has these fire pits that are open to the public, just bring wood and claim one and you’re good to go.

    ob_small-group2So our group met at 6:30. In typical form everyone brought something. Wood, hotdogs, a cooler full of water, etc. We got our fire going and started to enjoy an awesome sunset laughing and catching up. Then Keith showed up. Keith is a homeless guy who asked if he could sit by the fire. Soon enough another person from our group struck up a conversation like he’d known Keith since grade school. Hotdogs eaten, water drunk, more sunset enjoyed. Pretty soon Keith asked us why we were hanging out at the beach. He didn’t really wince too much when we told him we were a small group from a church. “So, what do you guys talk about?” That’s when Richard pretty much told Keith the entire sermon from the day before. He read all of the Scriptures and then retold him all of the illustrations and all of us agreed… we were pretty much hypocrites and we were construction zones… we all settled on Stephen’s description of “holy mess.” Yeah, that pretty much explains me too.

    Just when we were all settled into a nice quiet moment another person shows up. This sort of thing happens in OB all the time. (This kind of thing happens to our community group all the time as well.) 10 people having a good time on the beach naturally draws others looking for a good time. So a guy walks up with a couple of his friends. “Hey, would you guys mind if I practiced my fire twirling?” Um… no!

    So here we are. A hodgepodge group, a holy mess, huddled around a fire enjoying s’mores, the perfect sunset, waves traveling thousands of miles across the open ocean and crashing on the shore 50 feet in front of us, and a guy with a boom box twirling fire. “This is the best night ever,” Amy says. She’s right. We all exchange high fives. He does his performance while we all look on. His friends are not sitting with us but are cheering him on. After a couple of routines our entertainer comes over to us and says, “You are in for a treat… a lot more people are coming.”

    ob_small-group3Within 15 minutes ten more fire twirlers show up. Each of them has a few of their friends. 20 or so of us huddle around the fire while people with flaming sticks, fireballs, and numbchucks wait their turn to show off their skills. More hotdogs eaten by anyone hungry. More s’mores by those who needed a sugar fix. And our hodgepodge small group, the holy mess, is completely surrounded by awesomeness. We’re all grinning ear to ear.

    Fire twirlers, hippies, girlfriends, and us. I post a couple of pictures and tweets onto Twitter… and my co-worker Mandy and her husband who live in OB come walking over. How could they resist, right? That’s when it hits me: This is the best small group night ever in the history of human existence!

    You can’t put small group mojo in a bottle. You can’t buy community at a conference. All of the training in the world couldn’t put this magic in a bottle and sell it. We’ve got the real deal in our community group and all we can do is enjoy it.

    As Kristen and I pulled out of the parking lot we roared with laughter. We knew full well that in most ministry contexts, including the ones we’ve served in, tonight would be viewed as an utter and complete failure. “What do you mean you had a bonfire? What do you mean you just talked to a homeless man all night? What do you mean you watched people twirl fire? I heard there were people their smoking drugs, is that true?” I’m glad to be a part of a church looks at tonight and screams SUCCESS instead of hides in shame, calling an elder meeting to discuss how to break those people up.

    As I drove home it hit me. The magic of our small group isn’t about an agenda. Don’t get me wrong, our leaders try to keep us moving forward. It’s never been about pounding out curriculum. It’s not about the hottest small group resource or DVD series. All of those things are great and I’m happy to have them. But when a small group hits the stratophere like ours has lately… all of those things just seem irrelevant. We get together. Not as a holy huddle but as a holy mess. We invite others in. It’s infectious. We need each other and we all secretly live for Monday nights. For me, this group is a magnet. Who wouldn’t want to be in a group that dyes Easter eggs one week and hosts Burning Man the next?

  • Can’t Sleep

    cant_sleep

    Dedicated to Kristen, who always struggles to fall asleep.

    HT to XKCD

  • Digging out and shaking off

    Calendar shows April 15, taxes due

    Digging through paperwork and trying to find missing reciepts for tax time exposed that there was one big area of my life that I had just ignored for 6-7 months: The move’s impact on our finances.

    We did fine through the move. We’re doing fine now. And like I’ve mentioned before, we’re taking all the right steps to be in great shape into the future. That’s not the point of this post at all.

    The point of this post is simple –– there are areas of your life that you simply have to take control. You can’t ignore stuff and hope that it’ll be alright. Nor can you just pretend that it will all go away if you just put it into a nice little pile. In our case, we were fortunate and when I finally did open the vault everything will be just fine when about 5 checks clear the bank. But it could have been a lot worse.

    The same is true for a lot of things in life. I’ve had a longstanding weakness of avoiding things I didn’t want to deal with and foolishly hoping that they would just fix themselves. I’ve even tried to outsmart myself and those around me by over-doing some areas while completely ignore others.

    I have a feeling I’m not the only one who does this.

    – People ignore a project at work and try to distract their failure with success in another area at work.

    – Men tend to focus on work to avoid family issues. (Sorry for the generalization there)

    – We keep our schedules too full to avoid dealing with our walk with God.

    – We focus our ministry around a big event or a mission trip to distract from a larger problem we don’t want to deal with.

    – Kids will pay attention to the TV so they can pretend you didn’t tell them to clean their rooms.

    – High school kids will join a club or even get a job to avoid going to a youth group they are bored with.

    dog_shake_waterThe thing is, Tax Day is coming. The things that we avoid will eventually need to be addressed. It doesn’t matter how much we ignore areas of our life which make us uncomfortable… eventually we’ll just have to deal with them. And it is way better to deal with those things today than it will be tommorow. That’s where accountability comes in. We all need people in our life who lovingly help us draw boundaries. When we were kids we had those people built in as parents, teachers, and church leaders helped keep us on track.

    Adults need to find people in their lives whom they are willing to allow to go there and ask the hard questions. “Adam, what is it that you’re avoiding?” What a tremendous question for self-reflection!

    If you find yourself concentrating too much on one area of your life to avoid another… my only advice comes from my dog. Shake it off.