• Viva la Cartel!

    After three amazing years of working at Youth Specialties, it’s with a crazy concoction of sadness and excitement, that I’m sharing today that I’m leaving Youth Specialties to start a new venture. It’s impossible to put into words the emotions I felt just now as I wrote, then again as I rewrote, and over the past weeks as I’ve meditated on having to write those words. Truly, few jobs could have shaped, challenged, encouraged, and forced me to grow more than these past three years at YS.

    My hope is that I’ve received the gift which my time at YS was and it’ll act as a springboard for my next season in life.

    At the same time, from a different place of emotion, I am bouncing up and down with excitement for the opportunity I have to partner with my friend Marko (Mark Oestreicher) in launching The Youth Cartel.

    I told you it was a crazy concoction of emotions!

    My last day as an official YS staff person will be August 31st and I’ll start my new role with The Youth Cartel on September 1st. I’m still coming to both NYWC in San Diego & Atlanta as a seminar speaker, fish bowl moderator, and presenter in the multimedia area. So I hope to see you at convention! Likewise, with my new role, I’ll have more free time at convention to chat with fellow attendees instead of racing from thing to thing.

    First — A Look Inside My Head

    The last several months have been incredible. The Spirit has been at work in our house, shaking things up and reassuring us at the same time. He has used many people to speak bold unmistakeable truth to us. We’ve had deep, long conversations with trusted friends, and even remarks from others such as, “Maybe your just doing what you’re doing to learn?” Or “I feel like God wants you to dream bigger.” Or even, “We’re wondering just how serious you are about San Diego. Do you want to be here for a long time?”

    Into those messages have come some close friends, acting as a discernment group, helping Kristen and I weave together what we needed to do vs. what our heart might have been telling us. In the last several weeks, as we really dug into this thing, that group of men helped me (specifically) see past my own expectations and limitations and get a plain view of what God was calling me to do. (I’ll have to write about the wisdom of plurality in decisions another day.)

    More important than even those outside voices has been the voice of Kristen. At every turn she’s been bold in telling me the truth. And when I said, “What do you think about this thing with Marko? A start-up is crazy.” She just looked at me and said, “It sounds crazy enough to be a lot of fun.” Yesterday I wrote a post about being bold and courageous. She lives that out better than anyone I know.

    Housekeeping, literally house-keeping. Unlike a lot of ministry moves this life-change means we are staying put in San Diego and have no intention of moving any time soon. I’ve re-upped my San Diego State football tickets and added men’s basketball, as well. I mean… what’s not to love about San Diego?

    Second — A Look Ahead

    Stoked isn’t quite the right word for what I feel about The Youth Cartel. Marko and I have continued to grow closer as friends over the past three years. Originally, I thought maybe God was asking me to start my own youth ministry organization. But as Marko and I shared our hopes and dreams for youth ministry it became abundantly clear we needed to work together. Our byline is “Instigating a Youth Ministry Revolution.” If you’ve ever been with me for more than 20 minutes you know that’s what I’m all about. This venture is all about finding and elevating new ideas, new voices, and a new era of youth ministry. It’s that “sharedness” that drew Marko and I together to do this. As I shared in the video, we have some cool stuff in the works. And I can’t wait to give my full attention to this in September.

    A fun sidenote: This is my second youth ministry start-up. My first, Youth Ministry Exchange, Marko led the way in buying from me in 2008.

    Third — A Look at the Big Picture

    What’s crazier than one start-up? Simultaneously running two start-ups. I’ll be sharing my time between The Youth Cartel and McLane Creative. To some degree, both organizations operate in very similar ways so it’s a natural compliment. I’ll continue growing McLane Creative with innovative design, marketing services, and coaching with my non-church clients. And all of my church/youth ministry related stuff will be part of The Youth Cartel. My hope, long-term, is that I can stay involved with both as they grow, with eventually handing over the day-to-day operations of the design firm to a protege`. (Or even one of my kids!)

    That’s my news. If you have questions, leave me a comment (public) or even use my contact page. (private)

  • Finding Strength in Lonely Moments

    Can you imagine what it was like to be Joshua?

    During your lifetime Moses did just about everything a leader could ever do. He had regular 1-on-1 meetings with GOD! He lead millions of people out of slavery in Egypt. He established the rule of law for those people. While they wondered the desert for 40 years he kept them safe. And, by his petitioning the Lord, they ate every day.

    Then. He dies.

    And your shoulder gets tapped to take over.

    The biggest “oh crap moment” in your lifetime. When a nation mourns the passing of its leader and worry and discontent bubble to the top in their exhaustion. All of that weight is now put on your shoulders.

    “Joshua. It’s you. You’re in charge. What do we do?”

    Can you imagine what it was like to be Joshua that day?

    Actually. I think you can. Imagining the emotions of Joshua’s that day reminds you of moments you’ve had. Or maybe in this very moment you are feeling that same weight?

    And in a quiet moment, when it all swirls and people are asking you what to do, you take a moment. Maybe in the sanctity of the bathroom or in your office with the door closed and everybody at lunch and you scream into a towel or your garbage can.

    “GODIDONTKNOWWHATTODOBUTYOUHAVETHEWRONGGUYWHAT

    DOYOUMEANYOUWANTMECANTYOUPICKSOMEBODYELSE?OKITSMEILLDO

    ITBUTIMGONNANEEDYOURHELPBECAUSEIMREALLYREALLYAFRAIDRIGHTNOW!”

    Into that lonely desperate crying moment, where you are utterly convinced it won’t be OK because this spot your in is going to expose you for the scared kid you really are when no one is looking: God gives you these words.

    Be strong and courageous, because you will lead these people to inherit the land I swore to their ancestors to give them. “Be strong and very courageous. Be careful to obey all the law my servant Moses gave you; do not turn from it to the right or to the left, that you may be successful wherever you go. Keep this Book of the Law always on your lips; meditate on it day and night, so that you may be careful to do everything written in it. Then you will be prosperous and successful. Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go.” Joshua 1:6-9

    I don’t know what has lead you to that point today. But I know this is God’s encouragement.

    Be bold and courageous.

  • 4 Ways We Hold High School Students Back

    Photo by Megan Ann via Flickr (Creative Commons)

    In reading Robert Epstein’s book, Teen 2.0, the one thing that fundamentally shifted my thinking is that adults lament about childish behavior while simultaneously funding and celebrating it.

    Politely, Epstein says we have infantalized our youth. Maybe we need to take it a step further? We treat our young like pets.

    4 Quick Examples to Illustrate that Point

    1. We spend bagillions of dollars on the Rule of Law and Regulation of Teenagers: In the last 40 years we have created an immense amount of laws aimed at regulating behavior of those under 18. We force them to go to school. We regulate where they can go when school is out. We regulate when they can be out. We tell them what they can wear. Who they can be with. What they can ingest or not ingest. Epstein did a study comparing inmates to high school students and found that men in prison have more freedoms. But magically, despite 18 years old not being a significant number in physical or emotional development, we have decided that those over 18 can do whatever they want.
    2. We Celebrate Low Expectations: We have removed adult expectations from high school students. They can’t be bothered to even get out of bed in the summer, right? Forget the fact that physically high school students are near the pinnacle of their strength and can outwork their parents. Forget the fact that the adolescent brain is mostly ready to tackle adulthood, ever seen what happens when a teenage son asks his mom to help him with his physics homework? And forget the fact that teenagers can do amazing things. (Like say, discover a cancer treatment for a high school science fair) Instead of ramping up expectations for them, in our wealth, we remove expectations of productivity. We even limit the ability to have expectations of our high school students. Instead, we slyly whine about our teenage children at home and what they won’t do. Or a post-college student who has moved home but can’t find the right job.
    3. We have an unlimited spending appetite for teenage sexuality: Think of how many billions of dollars are spent annually preventing teen pregnancy? BILLIONS! But not nearly as many billions as are spent celebrating adolescent sex in advertising, television, movies, etc. Our culture has an obsession with adolescent sexuality. It’s taboo. And that taboo drives our spending on both prevention and celebration. Since we’ve labeled high school students as children, this forces a label that their sexual activities as irresponsible. Meanwhile everything in pop culture celebrates adolescent virility and fertility. (Television, music, news media, movies, etc.) Physically, the average 16 year old is completely ready for sex. But if that 16 year old wants to have a serious, long-term relationship? Oh heck no! We need to prevent it. We argue that they aren’t emotionally ready for a sexual relationship. (Hypocritically, we were but deny that even happened. And our great-grandparents married at 16 and had our grandparents at 19. Today’s teen pregnancy tragedy was yesterday’s normal sexual expectation.) Meanwhile, our Christian constructions argue for waiting until marriage… something which we’ve delayed almost 10 years on average in just 100 years! The average first marriage for a woman in the U.S. is now 26.5 years old.
    4. We Spend a Lot Keeping Teenagers Out of the Workplace: Up until the Great Depression most adolescents didn’t finish high school and entered the trades, farming, or a factory to work full-time. For the most part that is now illegal. We’ve regulated the types of and length of employment adolescents can participate in. We’ve created a false expectation that every student should go to college. (A notion our economy cannot support.) But we’ve created a multi-trillion dollar industry called compulsory high school we can’t bear to let go of or adjust in all of its disfunction. Instead, we now expect that students won’t go to work, earn money for their families, or otherwise contribute because they will perpetually get education for things they don’t want to study. We expect them to consume. And we’ve created industries around entertaining them so they have something to do while not working or not learning. (Sports, video games, summer school, camps, etc.)

    Is it no wonder why this period of adolescence has extended from 4-5 years in the 1940s to 13-14 years today? 

    Maybe it is time we reverse this trend? Maybe we need to start by getting out of the way and allowing adolescents to become adults?

  • Leave the Ignoble Behind

    It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, it was the age of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness, it was the epoch of belief, it was the epoch of incredulity, it was the season of Light, it was the season of Darkness, it was the spring of hope, it was the winter of despair, we had everything before us, we had nothing before us, we were all going direct to heaven, we were all going direct the other way – in short, the period was so far like the present period, that some of its noisiest authorities insisted on its being received, for good or for evil, in the superlative degree of comparison only.

    ~ Charles Dickens, A Tale of Two Cities

    Pretty up-to-the-minute for something written in 1859, right?

    Each generation believes it has created it’s own extremes. In fact, it’s an age-old trap that has just been carried forward. The sin of our forefathers still destroys us.

    The litmus tests of extremists are in full effect today and are just as unproductive as ever. Their bi-product is never progress, only pain.

    • You’re either an evangelical conservative or a mainline liberal, chose a side.
    • You’re pro-LGBT or your anti-LGBT, which is it?
    • You’re either pro-union or anti-union, take your pick.
    • You’re a tea party love or a hater.

    As if the middle ground were the enemy. As if being reasonable and understanding all sides of issues were not possible. As if compromise and working things out were akin to selling your soul to the other side.

    In truth, Jesus asks us to reject the ignoble extremes to live in the noble tense middle.

    A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another.
    John 13:34

  • Swinging at the right guy

    Photo by Steve Hopkins via Flickr (Creative Commons)

    In 7th grade I ended up in the principle’s office because I got into a fight. Technically, I was trying to break it up and got punched. But, apparently to a 7th grade science teacher, getting punched meant I was in a fight and deserved to be suspended.

    Within 5 minutes the three of us were sitting in front of the assistant princple awaiting our judgement. Another 5 minutes and I’d be in class again. The student who started the fight just told it like it was, “I was meaning to hit Jeff but I hit Adam on accident, I hit the wrong guy. Sorry.”

    Case dismissed. Hasta luego.

    A lot of people swing at the wrong guy

    • Failing in a class directs a student’s anger at the teacher instead of at his study habits.
    • An honest evaluation of your work makes you angry at the system judging you instead of your lack of results.
    • A spouse takes out the stress of their job on their loved one since they can’t stand up to their boss at work.
    • Your doctor tells you that you’re obese and need to change some habits, and you never go to that doctor again.

    This same principle carries into the youth ministry

    I can’t tell you how many times I’ve listened to a church staff member lament for 30 minutes or an hour about how much their boss or their board or their executive pastor doesn’t “get them” and that if they would just see it from their perspective they’d see that you really are doing the right things. Or that the church is measuring the wrong things.

    My response? You’re swinging at the wrong guy.
    • Maybe you’re measuring greatness with a different ruler than they are?
    • Maybe they get you better than you get yourself and see you underperforming?
    • Maybe your pastor isn’t your enemy, he’s your greatest ally?
    Never shy away from an honest evaluation. I’d rather get an honest evaluation of my work than someone blowing smoke any day. You can always do better. And there will always be someone out there better than you to learn from.
    Never believe you aren’t in a fight. We all struggle against something. It’s part of what makes us human. It keeps us motivated and moving forward and innovative. There’s nothing wrong with being in the fight of your life.

    Just make sure you pick a fight with the right enemy.

    You’ll get a lot further, faster than punching the wrong enemy.

    • Failing at school? Fight your study habits.
    • Failing at work? Fight your work habits.
    • Having a conflict with your boss? Stand up for yourself.
    • Need to lose 20-30-100 pounds? Get mad at the donuts, not your doctor.

  • Homeless Teenagers Among Us

    [Video enclosed]

    The poverty rate for those under 18 will soon hit 25% in America.

    This video from 60 Minutes broke my heart yesterday. While riding the trolley to work I listened to the audio and wept.

    16 million kids in our country are currently living below the poverty line. That’s an increase of 2 million in just 2 years as families slip from “middle class” into poverty.

    It’s where you live. In your city, town, suburb, gated community, or rural area. And it’s people who never thought they’d struggle. And certainly never thought they’d become homeless.

    As the video shows, millions of kids are now homeless. We hear about foreclosures and we think of the housing market. We forget that those are also displaced people. Families who lost everything.

    5 Ways You and Your Church Can Respond

    As I listened to this story, I thought about how can the church NOT respond?

    I thought about how churches and youth ministries could easily do a few things that could make a big difference. Ministry life just can’t go on as normal with a quarter of the families in our community unsure where their next meal might come from, or unsure if they can stay in their apartment another month, or unsure if they can even keep their families together.

    It’s one thing to preach Good News. It’s another thing to actually be Good News.

    What are some things you can actually do?

  • Start a food closet. There isn’t a church door in America that doesn’t get knocked on every week asking for food. If your church doesn’t have a food closet, start one. If the church doesn’t want one, just start bringing non-perishable food items to church every time you visit. They’ll figure it out when it starts to pile up.
  • Get out of your car and look around. In your routine where you drive everywhere, you won’t ever see the problem among us. Stop driving everywhere! Commit to start walking or riding a bike, and you’ll see things you never thought existing in your community. It’ll do your heart good.
  • Take a family in. There’s a part in the 60 Minutes piece above where they say that most families foreclosed on move into a neighbor or family members house. I know it’s easier to pretend you don’t see what’s happening. But a lot of people in a lot of churches have more bedrooms than people in their homes. Maybe you’ve got a big crib for a reason?
  • Convert some classrooms into temporary housing. It’s sickening how many churches have so much space that goes unused for 6.5 out of 7 days. Spend a tiny amount of money to convert under-utilized space into temporary housing for families so they don’t get split up. Convert a bathroom stall to a shower, buy some used basic furniture, and allow families a place to regroup for 60-90 days.
  • Open your youth room 5 days per week after school. There are some things that are so simple to do, yet we don’t do it because we get hung up by thinking too small. It would cost you nothing to have a volunteer staff your youth room after school every day from 2:30 – 5:00 PM. Hang some signs up at the middle and high schools. You already have space, just make it available to kids who need a safe and quiet place to study overseen by a caring adult.

    • How about you? What are some things you can do, as an individual or as a church, in the next 30 days?

  • Baptism Video

    I love the joy on folks faces as they come out of the water! What’s not to celebrate about such a big step of faith?

    One of the cool parts about being close to the ocean is that churches don’t need a baptismal. You can just tell everyone to meet you at the beach. 

    Speaking of baptism… I guess I’m kind of famous for one I made about 4 years ago. It was one of those things that was a funny concept but I don’t think I’d do again.

    I like the one from Journey this weekend a whole lot better.

    How does your church celebrate baptism?

  • Competitive Advantage

    This clip from Tin Cup highlights the differences between an amateur and a tour professional. 

    Whether you are a casual golfer or a week-to-week preacher in a church. You and the guy on tour are fundamentally different in how you approach your craft.

    What you do is similar! But how you approach it and how it’s carried out are completely different.

    As the movie shows, the tour pro takes calculated risks, repeating the same simple winning swing over and over again, week-to-week, tour stop to tour stop.

    Whereas the casual golfer, even the aspiring professional, has to take greater risks to see lesser rewards, often swinging wildly and taking big risks in hopes that it’ll pay off.

    Having been around PGA and Champions Tour players as a tour volunteer I know that there are a lot of differences between their game and your game. 

    • They will hit +/- 1000 practice balls per day. (Driving range, sand, putting green, chipping)
    • They are surrounded by people who advise them on their game all the time. (People who know what they’re talking about, too.)
    • They only play on courses at the top of their condition. The greenskeeper at a Tour stop builds his whole growth cycle around that week.
    • They have a caddy with them who does all of the math and can tell them exact distances and best approaches to every shot on the golf course.
    • The TV cameras only show the best players on shots that have been edited. Each minute during a tournament 40-50 players take a swing, you only see the best of the best.

    I’m a 12 handicapper on my own. But I guarantee you that if you put me on that stage, in those conditions, with that practice… I’d look a whole lot better than I do normally. Give me a week with those set of circumstances and I’d break 80.

    It’s not that they don’t have skill or talent. It’s that their skill has been put on display in the best possible conditions for them to look good. (They would argue that they rose to this spot just like everyone else. Sure, they take advantage today. But they got to that point with nothing but hard work and rising through the amateur, college, and mini-tour ranks. Fair enough.)

    It’s that the game they play is similar, but completely different from the game I play with my friends. It’s set up for them to look good.

    What’s my point?

    A lot of times we go to a conference, camp, retreat, or a convention and we see a tour pro on their best day, in the best conditions, absolutely NAIL a talk. And we walk away thinking… “Why do I even bother?!? I’ll never be that good. Why not just buy that dude’s DVDs and play them at my church each week?”

    But before you get upset or lament realize this: The talk you’ve just heard has likely been delivered dozens of times. It’s been critically reviewed by an inner circle. It’s been refined, they know when to drop what line, they know how to adapt it to your setting. They have only booked themselves at events they know they’ll play well to. The lighting, sound, and environmental conditions are tailored to their strengths and weaknesses. A professional band set them up. Someone else introduced them. At best, their talk has 1-2 calculated moments of risk.

    It’s not that they are better than you. It’s that given the conditions their talents are amplified and you’re able to see them at their absolute best.

    In the end… the act of speaking at a conference is similar to what you do on a week-to-week basis, but completely different at the same time. They are only thinking about that talk. They didn’t drive the van to the retreat. They don’t have to give a new talk each week. On and on. It’s completely different from what you or I do on a week-to-week basis in our ministry.

    Here’s the fun part: Just like in the movie– you could tell that the tour pros got a kick out of the caddy hitting the big shot on the big stage. There’s a little glimmer in their eye when you take a big risk. They kind of wish they could do it, too. 

  • You Want Who to Do Whaaaaa-aaat?

    This morning I have the honor of teaching at Encounter, the high school ministry of Journey Community Church.

    I’m kicking off a series called Sea Jesus. And basically it’s stuff that Jesus has to teach us while he’s near the Sea of Galilee.

    Like everything else I produce that I’m at liberty to share, I’ve made all of my notes, handouts, slides, and even Photoshop files available in my free section.

    [download id=”18″]

  • Fear is not your friend

    These are scary times. If you allow these times to be scary. 

    The reality is that when you allow fear to creep in you are in big trouble.

    Life is full of things that seem worthy of fear…

    • Big decisions like where to go to college, who to go out with, who to marry, having kids.
    • Big moments like telling your loved ones where you are going to college, who you are dating, that you’re getting married, or that you’re pregnant.
    • Pursuing big huge dreams and taking big huge risks to fulfill them.
    • Failure or being told your dreams aren’t going to be fulfilled.
    • Having a personal failure disclosed publicly.
    • Going broke, going hungry, or even having to move in with other people.
    • Relationships ending, you ending relationships, or relationships just accidentally ending.
    • Saying the wrong thing, at the wrong time, to the wrong people.
    • Unknown-ness.
    • Upcoming known stuff.
    • Unsafe things happening next door, in your house, or even on TV.
    This list never ends, does it? We each, in our moments of vulnerability, have things we are afraid of.
    Likewise, we each have things that we should be afraid of that we’ve learned aren’t all that scary because you’ve been there and done that.

    A fearful state of mind

    Over the years I’ve learned the biggest problem with living in fear of things beyond my control is that fear puts me in a state of mind which increases my ability to make stupid decisions. I remember one of my management mentors instructing me to use fear as a tool of manipulating people to do what I wanted. “When a person buys a car or a house or their spouse is pregnant, that’s when you change their job function or work hours. Why? Because they are so strung out financially that they will just deal with it because they can’t afford to quit.“
    That was stupid advice. Ultimately, I don’t want to manipulate anyone into doing something because they are afraid of the consequences. Fear is a short-term motivator. It’s helpful in an emergency, like when a building is on fire, but you can’t motivate someone to do their best work for years at a time over fear of a job loss.
    In the same way, I do whatever I can to push fear aside. I don’t let fear of the stuff above scare me into a dumb decision. Instead, I push fear aside in those moments. Ultimately, it’s just an emotion and I have power over emotions.

    What is worth fearing? (Not a rhetorical question)

    More like who.

    The Lord. The phrase “fear of the Lord” is found at least 135 times in the Bible.

    Sure. That sounds cheesy right off the bat. But when you allow the reality to sink in that God is bigger, stronger, and in full knowledge of everything you face… it adds a new perspective on things I fear.

    Ultimately, it helps me to know that fear of stuff doesn’t come from the Lord. Over and over again I read in the Bible, when God’s people were faced with impossible odds, “Fear Me alone.”

    Next to that? Everything else is unworthy of my fear.