• If Prayer is a Verb…

    If prayer is a verb…

    • You’ll knock on the door of your enemy to say you’re sorry, even if they wronged you.
    • You’ll nail the interview because you studied up.
    • You’ll check your friend into rehab.
    • You’ll get an A on the test because you got a tutor.
    • You’ll confront your boss about the things he says to you.
    • You’ll wait for your neighbors car to pull in; you’ll walk over and talk to them about Jesus.
    • You’ll go back and find that homeless woman and learn more than just her name.

    God can do anything. He’s huge and good and loves it when we seek Him. But sometimes He doesn’t answer prayer because He has already provided an active solution to your prayer request.

    Never forget. Prayer is a verb. Prayer isn’t passive, it’s active.

    What are you praying with your feet today?

  • Place your bet

    Photo by @ Alex via Flickr (Creative Commons)

    A few months ago I went to Las Vegas with my father-in-law for 24 hours. There are at least 4 things hilarious with that statement, right?

    He was running a marathon and needed someone to drive with him from San Diego to Las Vegas and back. I went since it’d be nice to catch-up along the way as well as have lunch with my mom, who lives a mile from the Strip.

    Since my mom lives there… I have been to Vegas at least 10 times. Normally, I like to people watch late at night. The joke has always been that I’m down $11 in slots lifetime and I’m mad about it. I’ve never really been into the games.

    What I learned from 6 hours on the Strip

    Unlike my normal late-night-people-watching, this trip had me up very early, checked out of my hotel, and walking the Strip by breakfast. With more than 6 hours to kill I wandered through a few casinos filled with old people playing slots and a bunch of dealers standing at empty tables.

    Along the way I stopped at a Starbucks. As I sipped my mocha I entertained myself by watching a few scattered games here and there. In truth, like a lot of Christians, I feel really out of place on a casino floor. More because I don’t know what to do than that I don’t feel like I could enjoy it.

    At one casino there was a small crowd around the crap table. It was a morning clinic explaining how the game worked. Perfect… I could kill an hour, learn something, and its free.

    Here’s an observation from that clinic: There is a time to place bets. But once the time has passed it is too late for placing bets. You are either in the game or you are out. The shooter rolls 7 or 11 on his first roll, everyone with a bet on the line instantly doubles their money. If you think about it, every form of gambling has that same timeline. A time to place bets. A time when betting is closed. And a moment when a winner is declared. Cards, slots, horses, lottery, etc.

    When you are playing in the game you have a claim at the table. You can win or you can lose. Your heart beats faster and adreneline pumps. The dealers chatter with you. And the cocktail waitress is happy to bring you a bottle of water or whatever you’d like on the house.

    When you aren’t in the game you have no claim to the table. You can’t lose but you can’t win either. You’re on the sidelines as an observer. No pitter-patter of your heart. The dealers might not acknowledge you. And fat chance in getting a free drink from the waitress if you aren’t in the game. You’re just another tourist.

    Gambling in Vegas is a lot like life outside of Vegas

    It feels like people are so afraid of losing that they just refuse to place a bet at all.

    • College – Where do I want to go? What do I want to study?
    • Marriage and family– Is this the right person? What if it’s the wrong person? Should we have kids? If so, when?
    • Vocation – What do I want to do when I grow up? What if I don’t like it?
    • Location – Where do I want to live?

    People aren’t shy about their shock with Kristen and I because we placed bets on all four of those categories early in life and have continued to “improve our hand” over the years.

    The flip side, experience has taught: In order to win you have to place a bet in the game. And the window for placing a bet is limited. When the time comes to place a bet I already know I want to be in the game because sitting on the sidelines is too boring for me. There are risks and rewards… but I always know I want to be in the game.

    Life’s winners and losers are in the game. But those who hold on, never placing a bet, will never know what winning feels like because they are too afraid to accept the risk of losing. And that, my friends, is losing every time.

  • What if there is no box?

    Photo by Marcus S. via Flickr (Creative Commons)

    I think outside the box.

    I’m told that a lot. And I guess it’s true. I mean, if people tell me it’s true at some point it is true.

    Adam McLane is a man who thinks outside of the box.

    When I hear that I think outside of the box I’m always thinking…

    • What if we’re working on the wrong box?
    • What if I’m in the wrong box?
    • What if our box is too small, too big, or too made of cardboard?
    • Why does the box have to be shaped like a box? I mean, is there a person who decided that boxes have to be cube-like? Can’t we build a box around who we are and not start with a box-shaped box?
    • How did we get in this box in the first place and why are we all just here wanting to get out of it in this meeting? Why don’t we just open the box and leave?
    • When did all of this crap get in the box? I think someone is using the box as a recycle bin.
    • Will lunch be served in the box? Because I’m getting hungry.

    What if there is no box?

    What if the box is just a metaphor for feeling trapped by our problems?

    Literally, there is no box. It’s a metaphor. The box isn’t real. You don’t need to think outside of it because the box doesn’t really exist.

    The box is your problem.

    Having your company, brand, ministry, organization “in the box” is the end of creativity, joy, and freedom. When faced with your next dilemna you don’t just need to think outside of the box. You need to get outside of the box. Why?

    Because the box is suffocating you.

    • It’s stealing the creativity you had as a 6 year old with a box of chalk, an empty sidewalk, and an endless summer.
    • It’s stealing the joy you had when you first started at this company.
    • It’s stealing the freedom you experienced as a kid who was just getting started, the one who wanted to conquer the world, and change things.

    Haven’t you seen Toy Story 3? The whole point of the movie is don’t get put in the box.

  • 14 Years of Mutual Submission in Marriage

    On June 21st, 1997 Kristen walked down the aisle escorted by her dad then her uncle Fred led us in an exchange of vows.

    Here we are, 14 years later, still standing next together on life’s amazing journey. This past 12 months have been especially dear to us as we experienced two of life’s great (and unexpected) joys together. First, in July 2010 we ministered side-by-side in Haiti for a week. Second, we walked together through the anticipation, birth, and first 4 months of having Jackson.

    In 14 years Kristen and I have largely not experienced the bumps and bruises so many of our friends have. We’ve had it pretty easy by comparison. We are thankful as we recognize that without an over-abundance of God’s grace it wouldn’t be possible.

    We are far from perfect people. And my flaws must grate on Kristen much more than hers grate on me.

    The secret to success for us

    Mutual love for, respect for, and submission to one another.

    That’s right my fellow conservative friends. I said it. Our marriage is built on an equal footing of love, respect, and submission to one another, as to the Lord.

    Many times in the last 14 years I have submitted to my wife out of respect and love for her. (And, by proxy, Jesus.) In 14 years of marriage I can’t think of a time when I stood in front of her and said, “I don’t care what you think, we are doing it this way. You must submit to me because I’m your husband.”

    And I hope our relationship never breaks down, at its core, to the point where I’d think it was OK to do that.

    In the lead-up to our engagement Kristen and I challenged one another to memorize chapters of the New Testament. I know its cheesy, but for us it was fun, competitive, and become meaningful. (Plus, an easy way to be together alone and keep our hands off of one another!)

    One of the chapters we memorized was Ephesians 5.

    It kind of started as a joke. After all, we were Bible College students surrounded by people who loved to use this section of Paul’s letter to Ephesian Christians as a weapon. And it was totally stereotypical that a madly in love couple would memorize a passage of Scripture about marriage. At least it wasn’t Song of Solomon, right?

    Like many ancient things misunderstood throughout time, as we got to know this passage of Scripture we realized that while at the surface level it felt antiquated and entrenched with man-power-dogma, as we embedded the words on our heart we came to realize the passage is much the opposite. It really has become the basis of our marriage.

    Read Ephesians 5 for yourself. Actually, take 10 minutes and read it 3 different times in 3 different translations.

    You don’t need a commentary to understand what Paul was saying.

    As you get familiar with Paul’s language and read it in context you will see that this isn’t a repressive thing at all. As Kristen and I memorized this passage we fell in love with it.

    Most importantly, we learned that it had nothing at all to do with blind submission for a woman to a man. Why? Because that’s not how Jesus expects us to submit to Him. Like a loving groom, He asks us to offer our hand to Him willfully. And willfully, lovingly, he gave Himself to His bride wholly and completely, even unto death. It’s a beautiful mystery.

    The kicker for the whole passage, and why we crack up that people get hung up on it, is that in verse 32 Paul says, I’m not even really talking about marriage here people– this whole passage is an illustration for the church’s relationship to Jesus! And in verse 33 he adds, “Oh yeah, but a man should love his wife and a woman should respect her husband.”

    Back to the practicality of mutual submission

    In our every day life does Kristen submit to my authority over her as her husband? Only to the extent that I submit to hers. The point of that passage wasn’t blind submission for a wife to her husband. It was mutual, willful, and willing submission to Christ for all of God’s people. We get along because we chose to get along as brother and sister in Christ.

    Blind submission is not an act of love as it is an act of obedience. I expect my kids to submit to my authority and to do what we ask them to do because we are their parents and we actually do know what is best for them. But I also know that to lean into the Shema I must win their hearts… which requires more than a relationship built on obedience, right?

    To expect that of Kristen would be disrespectful to her, our relationship, and her relationship with the Lord.

    Instead, we walk together in mutual, eyes-wide-open submission, love, and respect to one another as we submit arms-wide-open to Jesus.

    We’ve agreed with our very lives to put our relationship as #2 with Jesus at our only #1. As we submit to His will for our lives, we act in concert with one another out of love & respect for one another. And, not to sound trite, we’ve found our relationship with one another pretty simple because we’ve kept one another in the proper place all of these years.

    What do we think about people who take the perspective that the man is the head and everyone else submits to his authority?
    We think they are wrong. And we have 14 years of proof that our way works just fine.

  • Leaders Take You Where You Would Otherwise Not Go Alone

    This is the story of Corporal Sidney Manning of Butler County, Alabama

    July 28th, 1918 – Near Breuvannes, France

    When his platoon commander and platoon sergeant had both become casualties soon after the beginning of an assault on strongly fortified heights overlooking the Ourcq River, Cpl. Manning took command of his platoon, which was near the center of the attacking line. Though himself severely wounded he led forward the 35 men remaining in the platoon and finally succeeded in gaining a foothold on the enemy’s position, during which time he had received more wounds and all but 7 of his men had fallen. Directing the consolidation of the position, he held off a large body of the enemy only 50 yards away by fire from his automatic rifle. He declined to take cover until his line had been entirely consolidated with the line of the platoon on the front when he dragged himself to shelter, suffering from 9 wounds in all parts of the body.

    Source

    You aren’t a leader because of your rank, Corporal Manning had none.

    You aren’t a leader because you went to school, he only went to basic training. You aren’t a leader because you write a book on leadership. Or because an organization calls you its leader. Or because your daddy was a leader. Or because you aspire to be a leader.

    You are a leader when you take people where they would otherwise not go alone.

    When the plan falls apart. When the bad news comes. When fear takes hold. When the enemy is advancing. When there is no where to go but the scary, dangerous place. When what needs to get done is dangerous.

    Only then will you find out who the leader is. He or she looks you in the eye and says, “I will take you where we need to go.”

    That’s a leader.

    Accept no imitation.

  • It’s the Dad Life

    HT to Jerry

    Hi5 to Church on the Move

  • Happy Father’s Day from the Kids

    Making dad proud, silly faces all around.
    Megan showing off her mad origami skills with this handcrafted origami fathers day sign

  • What the Fall of Jim Tressel Has to do with Pastors

    Jim Tressel went from hero to zero in 12 months.

    Winning had bought Tressel respect in the state of Ohio. First at Youngstown State and then on the national stage at Ohio State.

    As the success increased so did Tresell’s insulation from everyday scrutiny. In the eyes of fans and the administration he could do no wrong. Certainly there were warning signs everywhere. Most notably was Maurice Clarett. As a freshmen, Clarett help the Buckeyes win the 2002 National Championship. But was soon overcome by scandal, eventually being dismissed from the university. There would be others. But none were as vocal or with the national voice that Clarett garnered.

    All the while Tressel’s name stayed out of the spotlight. Clarett was a bad kid from the wrong part of town while Tressel was the misunderstood golden child. This would be the response to every allegation to come. Tressel was unaware of the problem and offenders were dishonest, bad kids.

    Off and on Ohio State players were punished for infractions of NCAA rules. But Columbus is a one-horse town and no journalist dared to take on what everyone was seeing– lots and lots of NCAA infractions. With all of the success in the football program there was lots and lots of money flowing. No one inside of Columbus was going to blow the whistle and risk their livelihood. Everyone claimed Tressel knew nothing.

    The wheels began to fall off nationally during the 2010 season as allegations surfaced that some players had sold or traded some memorabilia in exchange for tattoos. Suddenly, the spotlight was on the program to discover what was really going on. 5 players were suspended for 5 games in the 2011 season by Tressel. This was quickly followed up by a self-imposed 5 game suspension that Tressel took. The spin was that he chose to do it this way so that the players would see that he was the kind of leader who took it on the chin when he got in trouble.

    Fans of Ohio State bought it. (And even revered him more for his valiant leadership.) But the national media and non-OSU fans smelled the rotting corpse of a cover-up in the trunk of Tressel’s trophy room.

    It all crashed down a few weeks ago as Tressel stepped down when tipped off that Sports Illustrated was about to publish their investigation which revealed systemic violations over and 8 year period. The article documents that Tressel wasn’t ignorant of all of the violations. Instead, he was often involved in the cover-up, and in some instances actually orchestrated inappropriate benefits for players and their families.

    Even in his resignation Tressel maintain his arrogant posture. He pretended to fall on his sword and say his resignation was not an admission of guilt but to protect the reputation of the university he loved.

    It won’t work. While Ohio State fans are living in denial. The NCAA will act and the punishments will be severe. There’s a good chance that the NCAA may actually shut the program down for 1-2 years as a result of the systemic problems. In all likelihood, since he’ll have to serve suspensions earned while at OSU at any future NCAA job, Tressel is out of college football for life.

    It is a sad ending to anyone’s career. But was also entirely of his own doing.

    Preventing Tresselgate as a Church Leader

    We live in a time where church leaders are put on pedestals similar to that of Jim Tressel. (At least in Evangelical circles) People identify with their pastor so strongly that it’s not uncommon to associate the name of the church with the name of the pastor. People go to Rick Warren’s church, Bill Hybel’s church, Andy Stanley’s church, Rob Bell’s church, Joel Osteen’s church, Mark Driscoll’s church, John Piper’s church, etc. It’s completely ridiculous that we do that, but we do.

    A dangerous double-edged sword. On the one hand the church benefits from the notoriety of their pastor. On the other the notoriety of the pastor is the largest threat the organization faces to its present reality and future success of large organizations. The net result is that the pastor lives in a protected bubble. That doesn’t mean he can do no wrong. It just means that if he does wrong everyone in his life is going to do whatever they can to keep that from the public since his failure impacts their financial security.

    Practically speaking, how do we prevent Tresselgate?

    1. Leadership Transparency- I’m all about elder rule in a church. And I’m all about staff teams largely governing their day-to-day operations. But elder meetings should not meet behind closed doors with no ability for anyone in the church to intimately know what’s going on, ask questions when appropriate, and foster a sense of transparency. Likewise, the elders should be congregationally selected and scrutinized as overseers of the congregation and the staff. (The staff can’t pick elders– That’s illogical for their role as overseers.) And their meetings should be open to the general public. Just like municipal boards they should have open and closed sessions. But reserve closed sessions exclusively for personnel and legal matters.
    2. Whistle blowers protected- In most secular work environments there is some level of protection for staff who blow the whistle on inappropriate behavior. The #1 reason this got so big at Ohio State was that no one in the athletic department blew the whistle on Tressel’s years of stuff going on. (The SI article documents this well.) There is no protection for church staff. If little things get dealt with without fear of reprisal they don’t escalate to big things later. A little bit of money miss-spent, a little bit of power abused… that’s just life and can be dealt with. But not dealing with it creates a snowball effect that will one day destroy the entire mission.
    3. Time off from the platform- Early in my leadership development a mentor taught me that leadership prowess wasn’t determined by what happened when I was there. She measured my performance as a leader by what happened with my team when I wasn’t there. We need to create that environment in the church today. It’s great to have figurehead leaders who are amazing communicators. But if those people are truly leaders of a movement of God, they will be measured by their ability to put others in their place. Andy Stanley had a nice-sounding sermon a few years ago built on the premise, “What do you do when you are the most powerful person in the room?” The answer to that question is to be like Jesus and disperse the power to your disciples… and then step away. The power of Jesus’ church isn’t central leadership. It’s that it’s empowered every person to be a priest with direct access to the Father! We need to affirm the priesthood of all believers and get our leaders off the platform.
    4. Don’t believe the hype about yourself- I don’t believe any church leader wants to be on a pedestal. Any “powerful” church leader I’ve ever met is wholly uncomfortable with the reverence they receive. It seems to me that gross failures happen when the person starts to believe the hype about themselves. Fundamental to the problem is that many of these people are the most successful people they know. God blessed them and it just happened. If you find yourself on a pedestal do whatever it takes to find some friends where you are an absolute nobody. It’ll do your soul good.
    5. Cheaters never prosper- Eventually, whatever it is that you are hiding will be public. Plausible deniability never works for long. The best thing you can do is to operate a clean program… even if that means you win less.

    What are other ways you think church leaders can prevent Tresselgate from destroying their ministry?

  • These are the people of Wal-Mart

    Make sure you don’t watch this within 2 hours of eating a meal. You’ve been warned.

    HT to Jen

  • Kicking Fat Adam to the Curb

    5:30 AM comes early on a Friday. I look at the time on my phone, “You’re kidding me, right?”

    Tired, groggy, and not feeling it I roll out of bed.

    It’s time for my run. Three days per week for the last 6 weeks. Meh, this isn’t fun anymore. Stoney is the only one stoked about this morning routine. He’s having the time of his life with all of this running.

    A few early morning demotivating thoughts cross my mind as I tried to find my shoes in the dark:

    1. I’m not a role model for health. Why don’t I just go back to bed or make some coffee and find something better to do.
    2. I’m not getting much faster or running any further. The same mile and half hurts just as much today as it did May 1st.
    3. I could just walk. Not like anyone will know or care. For that matter I could walk to Starbucks and no one would know or care either.

    Then I walk by the mirror. And that puts a few motivating thoughts in the mirror:

    1. I am a role model to my kids for health. A big reason they want to play inside and do nothing all day is because that’s what I like to do.
    2. Where did those extra 40 pounds come from? Seriously, that’s not cute.
    3. My running clothes barely fit any more. The same is true with all of my clothes. My shirts are a little less full and I’m pulling up my shorts all the time. I’m kind of digging that.

    Fat Adam yells at Skinny Adam every day. For too long he has won out. It’s time for Skinny Adam to stand up for himself and leave Fat Adam behind.

    Next goal? Stop talking about myself in the third person.