This is such a crucial topic. As I unpacked these action steps I sliced and diced a particular segment of the argument.
Forgive the introspection. But I want to dive deeper. Specifically, I think there are three different types of busyness in my life.
Seasonal busyness. When I was a youth pastor FT, that was September & December. September because we launched everything, December because it was Christmas and that’s always crazy in a church. Every type of career faces these… I think they are pretty normal.
Legitimate busyness you just have to push through. This last season was like that for me. Summer 2011 will go down as my most busy ever. But it might also go down as the biggest season of blessing our family has ever experienced. God blessed our socks off for no good reason. It’s been my task just to keep up.
Illegitimate busyness. Where I’m staying busy to hide from something else OR looking crazy busy so people think I’m important.
As I peal back the onion one more layer and look at busyness types 1 & 2– Pride isn’t the right word for describing how I feel about these. But there’s a certain level of satisfaction in pushing through something and acknowledging hard work for what it is.
Then there is #3. For me, that’s where the shame and accountability come into play because I can convince myself that I am so busy for such a good purpose. I’m thankful I have friends in my life who call my crap. I try to label 3 as 1 & 2 sometimes… but a true friend knows the difference and doesn’t let me get away with it.
One thing I know about busyness. I hate when people start a conversation with: “I know you’re busy, but…” I always want to reply by saying, “I’m not hat busy, really.” But then I always wonder… “Why do I look so busy? What is it about my demeanor that makes people think I’m busy even if I’m not?”
What do you think? Are there legitimate and illegitimate types of busyness? Or am I just trying to slice/dice this to justify my behavior?
I helped launched 2 businesses, mountains of paperwork and 27 trips to the bank, and hundreds of hours of “other crap.”
I wrapped up 3+ years of time with Youth Specialties, working like crazy to “finish strong.” (See the bullet point above, that’s a phrase I now don’t want to hear until 2025.)
I wrote several very important articles including the feature for the Nov/Dec edition of Immerse Journal.
I built new sites for McLane Creative, The Youth Cartel, my blog & Marko’s blog.
Started a whole slew of initiatives for The Youth Cartel
Put together tons and tons of proposals for The Youth Cartel & McLane Creative
Done initial work on the first major projects for these two businesses.
Found a new office.
Bought lots of really expensive software & hardware.
Gosh, I need a nap before I finish this list. There’s way more.
The last 4 months have felt like a years worth of work– most of which I was consumed by having a full-time job at YS and trying to do the rest at night.
Normally we vacation for at least a week in the summer. But the summer of 2011 that didn’t happen.
So we’re kicking off fall 2011 with a little mini-vacation, camping in the forests above Palm Springs.
Our family has a rule that it’s not vacation if daddy brings a computer. So all of our electronics are staying home. Macbooks, iPads, Nintendo DSs… and I’m even turning off the email function on my phone. We’re disconnecting for a few days and heading for the hills to recupperate. And if this isn’t enough? We’ll do it again.
My brain is on empty. My soul is weary. And I’m the kind of tired a good nights sleep won’t fix. We need to get away… and read, rest, play… do nothing.
So that’s the deal.
Friday morning we’re packing up a big ole` pick-em-up truck (thanks Brian!). All of us. Mom, dad, Megan, Paul, Jackson, and Stoney. And we’re going to enjoy some pure California fun.
As of 9:30 p.m. EDT Sept. 22, 2011, the orbit of UARS was 110 mi by 115 mi (175 km by 185 km). Re-entry is possible sometime during the afternoon or early evening of Sept. 23, Eastern Daylight Time. The satellite will not be passing over North America during that time period. It is still too early to predict the time and location of re-entry with any more certainty, but predictions will become more refined in the next 24 hours.
Have you ever wanted a mid-morning snack and heard the sudden crack of a sonic boom only to look up and see a 6 ton flaming satellite careening towards your house at terminal velocity?
Yeah, me neither.
But it looks like one lucky winner just might experience this later today.
The sky is falling– literally.
It turns out Ronald Reagan was right all along. We really do need a series of satellites to shoot down threats from space before they do damage to the American people. As it turns out, we didn’t need that to protect against Russian ICBMs. We needed it as protection from our own space junk.
See that crater over there?
— Yeah.
That was Joe Johnson’s house.
— Really? What happened? All I see is a pond with a chimney sticking out of it.
Satellite fell on him.
— Huh.
Question: If a satellite falls on your house do you get to keep it?
There is a baby boy on the floor next to me, crawling around the living room, exploring. Everything in this babies life is defined by one emotion: Joy.
We hold him but his joy is something you behold. It sneaks up on you and slaps you when you least expect it. Bam! Joy, joy, joy, and more joy.
Jackson’s joy tackles you down and forces you to smile. It doesn’t matter how bad he feels or that he’s cutting a tooth or that he’s hungry or has a dirty diaper. He flashes a smile and a hug which melts you faster than a snowflake on the hood of a hot car.
There is something about Jackson, something deep inside of him that sets him apart. I can’t wait to watch him grow up so we can discover more and more why God gave him this radiant, magnetic joy.
Here’s the thing: JT is a baby. There really is something distinctive to him. But imagine how much joy radiates from the Father? In Him we find delight, which supersedes joy. (Psalm 1)
Allow joy to radiate on you today. Allow yourself to be drawn magnetically to the Lord. It’s a choice, it’s something you allow in your life, it’s a filter on your soul you consciously remove.
If you hang out in Churchland you’ll almost never hear of evil in the church. We cover it up with elder approved statements, letters, forced resignations, cheesy happy, clappy worship songs, smiling sermons, and a heavy dose of denial.
I didn’t have to search very hard for those headlines above. All I did was search the term “youth pastor” on Google News; these were on the first page of results.
Evil exists everywhere, of course. Just because people are Christians doesn’t mean they are absent of sin in their lives. But it boils my blood that the profession I love leads headlines with evil instead of the good that we do.
My point isn’t that youth pastors are evil. Far from it. My point is that we can’t live in denial that there is evil.
People in your ministry deal with real evil every day. There is real evil in your life. There are people who are out to destroy you. There are forces at work through the tides of relationships that can elevate or destroy you. There are real temptations and moments of failure which can lead your life into horrible directions.
Life is full of temptresses and tempests.
And we need deliverance from this evil every day. And we need to lead people in a way that seeks deliverance from evil, real evil in their lives.
Because at the end of the day– living a happy, clappy, smiley, existence of denial may just be enabling evil.
Our Father, which art in heaven, Hallowed be thy Name. Thy Kingdom come. Thy will be done in earth, As it is in heaven. Give us this day our daily bread. And forgive us our trespasses, As we forgive them that trespass against us. And lead us not into temptation, But deliver us from evil. For thine is the kingdom,
This is my daily prayer. Literally, it is my prayer every day. Why? Because there have been times when I’ve not been a good dad.
Here’s a painful reality that I’ve had to face: There have been times when I’ve cared more about ministering to other people’s kids while neglecting the needs of my own kids. And as I’ve shared that painful reality I’ve come to realize that I’m not alone in that struggle. It’s a common problem among ministry families and one I think we need to address together.
Your invitation
Kristen and I would like to invite you to join us in an online book club here on my blog where we will be reading, writing about, and wrestling through a brand new book. It’s called, Sticky Faith: Everyday ideas to build lasting faith in your kids by Kara Powell & Chap Clark.
About Sticky Faith
Nearly every Christian parent in America would give anything to find a viable resource for developing within their kids a deep, dynamic faith that ‘sticks’ long term. Sticky Faith delivers. Research shows that almost half of graduating high school seniors struggle deeply with their faith. Recognizing the ramifications of that statistic, the Fuller Youth Institute (FYI) conducted the ‘College Transition Project’ in an effort to identify the relationships and best practices that can set young people on a trajectory of lifelong faith and service. Based on FYI findings, this easy-to-read guide presents both a compelling rationale and a powerful strategy to show parents how to actively encourage their children’s spiritual growth so that it will stick to them into adulthood and empower them to develop a living, lasting faith. Written by authors known for the integrity of their research and the intensity of their passion for young people, Sticky Faith is geared to spark a movement that empowers adults to develop robust and long-term faith in kids of all ages.
Each Monday we will write a brief reflection and some questions specifically geared for ministry families. (It’s open to anyone, obviously all Christians are in ministry to some extent, right?)
And then, just like a book club, we’ll open it up for discussion.
How long will it last?
The book is 8 chapters long, each week we will discuss a single chapter. Don’t worry– the chapters are pretty short.
Here’s the schedule:
October 10th – The not-so-sticky faith reality
October 17th – The sticky gospel
October 24th – Sticky identity
October 31st – Stick faith conversations
November 7th – A sticky web of relationships
November 14th – Sticky justice
November 28th – A sticky bridge out of home
December 5th – The ups and downs of the sticky faith journey
Why this book?
There are a lot of great books out there for parents, but this one is grounded in brand new research conducted by Fuller Youth Institute. Then they took their findings through a series of tests and dry runs to make sure that their learnings correlated. And only then did they boil it down into transferable principles. I think that sets it apart from most.
Like I shared at the beginning, I think parents in ministry sometimes lose sight of their own kids. I’d like to help bring the focus on learning how to raise our own kids for a bit.
I want to be a better dad. Kristen and I don’t have it all figured out. And we’d like the opportunity to learn from others so we can parent better.
Kara Powell, Chap Clark, Brad Griffin, and the folks at FYI are amazing people. They have poured their heart and soul into this project. And I would love to see their hard work benefit families in my life.
How do I join the book club?
Fill out the form below so we can follow-up with you along the way.
Buy the book; read the first chapter by October 10th. (It’d be great if couples joined us!)
Agree to participate in the discussion and contribute to the group. (Guest posts totally encouraged!)
Where do I buy the book?
Amazon.com – paperback or Kindle (I make 6% commission if you buy it this way)
DougFields.com – Pretty sure Doug is selling it cheaper than anyone, I don’t make anything from the sale but I did build his store, isn’t that cool?
[gravityform id=2 name=Jointhe Sticky Faith online book club ajax=true]
Have questions? Leave a comment.
Q1: I’m not in ministry, can I be in the book club? Absolutely! Just know that we’ll be gearing the discussion towards ministry families.
Photo by fortune cookie via Flickr (Creative Commons)
We all know the church in America is in trouble…
More than 50% of Americans, if given a box to check, would label themselves as Christian while less than 10% affiliate with an actual church.
While the dominant suburban white church ignores this reality, we are becoming a multi-ethnic nation. (again)
While the church is typically racially/ethnically homogenous, our society has embraced multi-culturalism.
While church leaders have lacked a thoughtful, tactical response our society has rapidly embraced the philosophical framework of pluralism.
In other words– society is doing things that the church has no clue how to respond to. In any given community in our country on any given Sunday less than 10% of the community is actively involved with a church. (Any church)
The only place the church is seeing growth? Circling the wagons. Big churches are getting bigger, little churches are getting littler, and medium-sized churches are squeezed.
In the last decade we’ve seen three general concepts rise and ultimately fail to reach more people:
Political involvement. The early part of the 2000s was marked by the rise of power of the Evangelical politically. This completely backfired. Society was repulsed by our Scarlet Letter-like tactics to try to change society.
Church planting movement. The last 10 years has seen a massive mobilization of younger leaders to plant churches. Unfortunately, these church plants are ineffective because they are just re-dressing the same pig. While it’s true that lots and lots of churches have closed in the last 20 years and church plants are supposedly out to replace them, the people aren’t fooled. Putting a nice marketing edge on the same old tactics won’t ever work.
Christian hipsters. Also popular in the 2000s was a desire for Christians to quietly embed themselves in pop culture industries like movies, television, and music. The idea seemed to be that if Christians could embed themselves in things seen to create culture we could reach people by interweaving redemptive analogies into our culture. That backfired because it just became a marketing ploy by those industries. (A very successful one at that.)
What does this have to do with the book of Acts? EVERYTHING. The parallels between the first Century synagogue and the 21st century church are shockingly similar. The Jewish people, many of whom had dispersed to other parts of the modern world, struggled to maintain their numbers. Many congregations had shrunk to the point where they couldn’t even hold services because they couldn’t get 10 men there. (Which Jewish law requires for worship.) While they were strictly monotheistic and moralistically concrete, scattered in the Greco-Roman world they struggled to survive.
Several times in the book of Acts you see Luke mention a group of people called, the god-fearers. (Greek derivatives of the word, “theophobes”) These were people who hung out around the synagogue, worshipped with Jews, identified and sympathized with the Jews… but weren’t actually pursuing conversion. This wasn’t a rare thing. This was actually a subculture of people who hung out around the synagogue and in some contexts likely out-numbered the Jews in a community.
They were fans of God, worshippers of God, but they didn’t know God and certainly weren’t on His team.
They just kind of hung around. And the rabbi’s probably seemingly had no idea what to do with them. Maybe they even had conferences to talk about what to do with them? I’m just saying….
Does this sound familiar?
The American church is full of these people. And I think the second half of Acts gives us a few ways to minister to them. Let’s look at a few.
Present the facts and call them to repent, invite them to join God’s team. (Acts 13:38-43)
Raise the bar and demand painful obedience. Look at how Paul dealt with Timothy. (Acts 16:1-4)
Call them to not only hear from God, but respond to him. (Acts 10)
Ask them to examine the Scriptures for themselves and then ASK them to believe. (Acts 17:10-15)
Stop wasting your time and move on. There’s no time for people who are merely looking for intellectual debate. Move on. (Acts 18:4-7)
Call me crazy on this but it’s all over Acts. Stop calling them Christians. Luke was careful to label them what they were and there was likely a community of god-fearers in every synagogue. They knew who they were and they knew what they needed to do to identify with God.
If we keep telling them they are a duck. And they keep acting like a duck. They are going to think that they are ducks.
I took Paul to tonights game between SDSU & Washington State. Here are a random list of highlights.
College football is officially “our thing.” Paul & Megan are really into going to the games with me. The game day experience always includes a trip to Rite Aid (to score candy/snacks) and a ride on the trolley.
I love, love, LOVE spending this extended time with each kid at the games. And my evil plan seems to be working, they are both getting interested in sports. Paul was going to bed and told Kristen, “I can’t believe I spent 6 hours with daddy. It really happened!” (That’s why I added SDSU basketball & Padres baseball tickets to the mix, love going to the games with my kids. Worth every penny.)
I still pinch myself at our season ticket locations. We’re on the 18th row, behind the home bench, and on the 47 yard line. Perfect seats if you ask me. I only wish I had 4 seats instead of 2. Loving my 3rd season as a season ticket holder.
This was a huge game for San Diego State. I think a lot of people expected SDSU to get worse because Rocky Long took over for Brady Hoke. (Who went to Michigan) We are now 3-0 for the first time since 1981. Full of confidence– I’m eager to see how they do against Michigan next weekend.
Washington State was very good offensively. But by the end of the game the Aztec defense was just teeing off on receivers, running backs, and the QB. The Aztec defense played great tonight against an overmatched opponent.
Speaking of defense… there were some monster hits applied tonight by the Aztecs. I’m loving the intimidation factor I see. The QB was visibly shaken after a few hits. And a few WRs dropped passes because they looked up to see if the hit was coming. Love that.
Ronnie Hillman was incredible tonight. 191 yards on 32 carries with 4 touchdowns. He’s one stellar running back. I’m looking forward to seeing him on the big stage next weekend. I hope he drops 200 yards with 5 TDs on a horrible Michigan defense.
Ryan Lindley? I feel like his stock is slipping. Maybe it’s that his receivers aren’t that great. But he threw some awful passes in the 3rd quarter tonight.
The crowd was huge tonight. And it was awesome that they got to see what the Aztecs can do against a quality opponent. 57,000+ in attendance is legit across college football. It seems that the basketball team has fed enthusiasm for Aztec football and that’s awesome.
Of course, 20,000 of those tickets were just to see the Sky Show. That was great and way too loud as usual. I’m not sure why they need to make the event that loud. It would be 50% more enjoyable at half the volume from the PA system. But the show itself? Every time I see it I realize how much I love living in San Diego.
Summer 2011 has been the lost summer. Especially for me. Leaving YS and starting up 2 businesses meant that we didn’t take a vacation over the summer and I’m pretty much fried as a result. In the last 90 days I’ve worked 12+ hours probably about 75 of those days.
Our family is in desperate need of R&R– away from projects, school, and anything digital. Why? Because after next weekend the fall gets going like crazy with conferences, cool projects, youth group retreats, yada yada yada. If we don’t do this we won’t get a break until Thanksgiving.
Here’s the deal
Kristen and I were into backpacking before we had kids so we know the nuts & bolts stuff about setting up camp. But since we’ve had kids (10+ years) we’ve never gone camping without taking 40 middle/high school kids.
What we need is help with fun things to do with our kids while camping beyond the obvious stuff like hiking and s’mores and exploring the woods. We know we need to try geocaching…. but what else?
Leave me a comment with your favorite camping tip and help our family make some memories next weekend.
I’m not an alumni of San Diego State. But I am a neighbor and fan. I love the winning attitude you feel when you walk around campus.
On a campus of 20,000 people it might not feel like you can make a difference. But 12 guys on the basketball court and 50 guys on the football field have helped bring a new level of pride on campus that wasn’t there 3 years ago when we moved in.
