• Secret Sex

    I’ve been around Christians long enough to know that they like to talk about sex. In fact, I know enough about internet traffic to know that only one thing is more popular than a post about sex. In fact, most of you are reading this because you clicked on a link with a keyword you like to click on, “SEX” and are wondering what the secret is all about.

    What’s the one thing more popular than a post about sex? A post about sexual behavior Christians “shouldn’t do but like to talk about.”

    – Homosexuality

    – Cheating

    – Masturbation

    – Pornography

    – Getting caught looking at gay porn and masturbating.

    Here’s some data behind this Christian propensity to search for and click on things about sex. Notice the #1 read item at YMX over the last 2 years by a wide margin… it’s an article called “Solo Sex” and its about masturbation. In the 2 years that article has been on the site it has averaged 25 readers per day! Likewise, my blog data shows that most of my google visits from google searches arrive on terms such as “Christian dating” or “Christian sex.”

    Proving this point further, stop for a second and think about this: “Why are you reading this post? What about the title ‘Secret Sex’ made you click here?” Did I trick you to come here with my blog title? Did you click on a delicious link I served on Twitter? Or were you googling something like “Christian love advice?”

    Here is my theory, disagree with me if you like. I think that internally many evangelicals are wrestling with sexuality. I don’t mean they are worried about their gender preference or even secretly longing to do sinful things. I think that within Christian circles it just isn’t safe to talk about sex which leaves many adult Christians very immature in how they handle sex. So the result is that we talk about sexuality in very immature fashions. (And then we wonder why students have messed up views on sexuality!)

    While in non-Christian circles it isn’t unusual to have some safety within your peer group to talk about sex in an intelligent manner, I know I’ve never found Christian friends willing to have a serious conversation blushing it off as either “naughty” or diverting to childish jokes. (Of course, maybe its just my friends?) So while it may be normal and/or healthy to seek out talking with a peer about something intimate… in our circles we repress that discussion and look for answers privately.

    And I’m not sure that’s a good thing.

    I wonder if that repression of the discussion, which in and of itself is amoral but breaks a Christian taboo, is exactly what leads to the gross sexual dysfunction within many churches and marriages. Why can’t Christians just talk about sex? Why do Christians scour the internet searching for answers?

    Sidebar: Of course it could also be that there are so many people out there googling anything to do with sex that this disproportionally elevates the click through rates of posts about sex… that’s a theory worth contemplating without devaluing the overriding question.

    So, what is it?

    – Victorian cultural leftovers permeating Christian culture?

    – Fear?

    – Our mommy told us never to talk about sex, just learn about it the way she did in the library?

    – It should just be repressed. Asking this question proves that Adam is a pervert and just likes to say “sex” a lot.

  • Oops. A little over technology

    It seems my eagerness to spread the word about the YS podcast may have actually hurt our distribution a little. I think the right word is “counterproductive.”

    With the new format for the podcast I thought it would be helpful to cross-publish it a few places. So you may have seen it pop up on Facebook, Myspace, YouTube, and Blip. This is fine, and the numbers of viewers of the podcast have been great.

    The factors

    1. Blip.tv. Blip is cool because it has a great interface. As a content publisher I love the fact that I can upload a video, it gets published there… then I can select a bunch of places to crosspost. So I upload at blip and it does all the work for me to send it other places. (Facebook, myspace, twitter, and blogs)

    2. iTunes. Unfortunately, one of the places it sends the podcast is iTunes. And since we already use another way to publish podcast to iTunes the double feed gets both banned! (iTunes fixes the problem, but it is embarrassing and ends up making the show harder to find for th 24 hours it takes.)

    The lessons to learn.

    Being overeager sometimes has negative results. My initial reaction to “put it everywhere” had some negative implications.

    Good content will get found. To the core of my web-being I know this to be true. I know that less channels is better for content than more channels. This was just a case of trying to jump ahead of the curve… and in the end it hasn’t worked out.

  • Quick Note to Investors

    The sky isn’t falling. As all of that money pours out of Lehman Brothers, Fannie Mae, Freddie Mac, and other financials today… just be reminded of one thing. That money is leaving one place and going somewhere else. As you know, there’s a bull market somewhere. It’s not like all of those investors are taking that money and putting it in their savings account.

  • New toys

    Kristen got the new ipod touch.

    Adam got the new nano. (green)

    It’s was a good day.

    Now, what to do with our old ipod? It served us well for more than 2 years!

  • Is Notre Dame any good?

    As a lifelong fan of the Irish, two weeks into the season I am left with this question. “How good are they?” In week one they looked “2007 bad” while in week two they looked like “2005 lucky.”

    Of course, there is irony galore. Just when the nation and especially Irish fans began to look on Charlie Weis as an idiot instead of genius… he gets whacked and will now attain hero status. For those who missed it, here’s what happened to him.

    If they keep up the enthusiasm, and the quarterback continues leading the team to relax and have fun… it could be a great year. Have you seen their schedule? Winning 8-9 games shouldn’t be too tough.

    Not a Notre Dame fan? Or can’t understand why I would be? Here’s a cool video.

  • What’s up with “that church?”

    I’ve had several people ask me about the church in Romeo, so here’s a quick update. I know a bunch of people who go there read my blog… so please feel free to fill in the blanks by leaving a comment.

    Did the church close? Nope, they just changed their name.

    Do they still have services? Yes, Sunday’s most likely. But I don’t know what time.

    Are they in the same location? Yep. I understand they took down the Romeochurch.com sign and now it just says “Stoneridge.” That’s where it is. It’s not a community center (that I know of) nor the offices for a new subdivision development. It’s still at 32 & Campground in Romeo. Same church, new name.

    Do they have a website? I can’t find one if they do. I see the old website is gone which is probably why people are asking me if they went out of business. So apparently adammclane.com is their new website. Welcome!

    Are they the same people? I think the point was that they wanted new people. So they figured if they changed the name the other people wouldn’t see the sign and new people would think they were going to the park and accidentally go to church there. Poof! OK, actually… it’s the same leadership team and I would guess that most of the same people go there.

    Do I like the new name? Yeah, it’s way better than “First Baptist Church.” Here’s a secret… that was the first “baptist” church I ever attended.

    What’s the name mean? Once upon a time [circa 1992], in that very location, a mountain range crested along Campground Road. As you reached 32 miles north of the center of that range a massive ridge line of large stones fell off to the west as far as the eye could see. Hence the most historically accurate name for 32 Mile & Campground is “Stoneridge.”

    I also feel it is sociologically accurate for a community with an alleged marijuana problem to have the word “stoner” in it. (Yes, they have munchies between services.)

    Any other thoughts on Stoneridge? I’m secretly jealous that I worked there for 5 years with a church name handicap and then I leave and they instantly solve the biggest problem in reaching the community.

    My biggest thought on Stoneridge is that I can’t remember the name half the time. So for Kristen and I it has become an ongoing joke. OK, so it’s just me telling the joke and once I saw Kristen snicker about it.

    – Stonemeadow

    – Stonevalley

    – Stonepoint

    – Stonecreek

    – Stonemountain

    – Stonecrater

    – Stoneorchard

    – Stonedbaptist

    – Stonefalls

    – Stoneriver

    – Stonelake

    – Stoneapple

    – Stonetech

    – Stone- did you hear they had a mechanical bull last night?

    – Stonetemplepilots Memorial

    Do you think the church is screwed up and secretly that’s why you left? OK, just between you and me. If it means that people come to Jesus, I hope they do whatever it takes. (Swing dancing, roller coasters, bar & grill, gas station, bookstore, start a parachute club, whatever!) Here’s a revolutionary concept… the church is there to reach the community and equip the redeemed to reach the community. With 3-4% of North Macomb residents currently attending a church I’m just glad they are trying to do something, anything, to bring light to a very dark place.

    If I have said anything inaccurate, please feel free to leave a comment.

  • Finding a church home: We think we’ve found it

    For the first time in our adult life Kristen and I have had the chance to find a church with a tabula rosa. Well, that’s a sensationalist way to look at it since we’ve made the choice before but it was always complicated because it was both a church decision and an employment decision. And at least once (Oroville) we worked at a church we wouldn’t have attended if they had not paid us.

    For the past several weeks we’ve been researching, praying, talking, and visiting churches. An interesting part of our search is that we’ve been able to accelerate it because of the internets. (And the Google, as President Bush calls it) Being a web dude, I instantly recognized that there was a correlation between how much I liked a church’s website and how much I liked their church. It may seem like an odd thing to compare to… but a good church has a good website because they recognize it as a powerful representation of their community. Plus, we were able to week out a lot of places simply by listening to the sermons online. You can tell a lot about a church by their messages. Anyway, just a random observation.

    When we set out on this process we were evaluating churches based on a few criteria. (non-negotiables)

    #1 Teaches biblical truth

    #2 Kids are important

    #3 Expectation that we’ll get involved, but respects that this may take time

    #4 Practically passionate about the community we live in

    #5 Values its people, all of ’em

    Enter Harbor Church Mid City. Last Sunday we visited and yesterday Kristen and I had the opportunity to sit down and chat with the lead guy, Stephen and his wife Bradford. When Kristen and I went last week we were blown away by the spirit of this church. Sure, empirically speaking it hits all 5 of the things we want in a church… but let’s face the fact that connecting to a church is an emotional experience. And church last week felt like home. (And it helped that this was a big celebration service and vision casting day.)

    What makes Harbor different from a lot of places we evaluated is its unique design. In the DNA of the church is a desire to reach neighborhoods with the Gospel. This isn’t just a Gospel of words but also a Gospel of social change, mercy, and justice to restore what’s broken eternally and today. Stephen explained that the goal of Harbor (it’s part of a team church planting effort) is to launch about 100 churches in the San Diego/Tijuana area over the next 20 years. In church growth models, they are a multi-site strategy “big church of little communities” idea. So all over the area are linked bodies part of a larger church with the hope of adding a lot more little communities in neighborhoods as opposed to growing one regional monster campus.

    I have to be honest… the big vision for San Diego is interesting but we really just care about our neighborhood! And we witnessed first hand that practically living out. We’ve heard a lot of churches say they want to be diverse but few actually pull it off. As we look around our neighborhood we recognize that these working class folks represent tons of cultures, races, dreams, and hardships. And it was refreshing to see that translated on Sunday morning.

    This is a church who loves kids. As Stephen and I chatted we talked about reaching the lost kids of the community more than we talked about discipling our own. For Kristen and I this echos our hearts. As much as we value a strong children’s program we long to see the two-fold model of evangelism/discipleship lived out in our family from an early age. We recognize that if we want our kids to catch a vision for reaching their peers they need to see mom & dad modeling that behavior. The very fact that the church meets on a school campus and has several active outreaches/ministries/supports within that same campus tells us a lot about the heart of the people. You can’t help thinking about the school’s kids as you worship in their building!

    The church values its people, all of them. One thing that I really like is the strong sense of mission. Like the best missions the core of Harbor craddles the reality that indigenous people are best at reaching their people. So rather than “the experts” the staff seem to position themselves as the enablers. Stephen described this as being a coach rather than a player. And as you think about that analogy you recognize that the coach is powerless in determining the outcome of the game. (Not to devalue life by calling it a game.) Instead, being the coach empowers the people to be the players and also clearly communicates that the mission can only be accomplished when the players play. In most cases, the coach was/is a great player who may feel as it is easier to “do it myself” in order to guarantee a win. But a coach willingly allows others to learn their position and represent the team to the measure of thier ability to play. To hear the leadership describe themselves as a coach rather than a player is powerful in our decision.

    All that to say, we think we’ve found it. As Kristen and I left we were entirely comfortable in telling the kids that this is the place. In the weeks and months to come we’ll gradually get more into the lifeblood of what’s going on. But for now we’re happy to begin the process of making friends.

    A couple other random things I like about Harbor:

    – Structurally, they have a central office which does all the admin stuff. This leaves the ministry staff to do ministry and not worry about details like a bulletin or paying bills.

    – They’ve partnered/joined forces with World Impact to reach the neighborhood. It’s always a good sign when you see an organization attracting other Christian organizations staff members to attend.

    – They dig student ministry. As it fits, I am looking forward to getting involved with students again. I’m not going to wiggle my way into this… but if they want me to help I’ll gladly jump in.

    – Kristen is jazzed about some things they are doing… but really got excited to hear them talking about a babysitting co-op!

    – I like the words “incarnational living” and “community development.”

    – Stephen and Bradford like college football. I think it’s a sign.

  • Goodnight Gospelcom Alliance

    I was pretty excited to have Youth Ministry Exchange join the GCI Alliance back in 2006. In fact, we made a big deal about telling people with over 100 guesses as to what the big surprise was all about.

    I sensed in the last few months things weren’t going well… staff leaving for other places and not getting replaced, stuff like that.

    Yesterday I got news that the Ministry Alliance will cease to exist in mid-December. For the 200+ organizations who look to GCI for assistance and encouragement this was a huge shock.

    Here’s parts of the email I got.

    As the result of a number of factors, the Board of Directors of Gospel
    Communications has decided that the ministry of Gospel Communications as we
    have known it is coming to a close.  This was, obviously, not an easy
    decision, but our commitment is to carry it out in the best manner possible.
    We are currently involved in trying to find good stewards for the various
    ministries of Gospel Communications who will be able to carry those
    ministries forward.

    I wanted to let you know that the decision talked about above means that the services offered to Alliance Ministries (hosting, technical support, training, etc.) are coming to an
    end. Although this is not the path that any of us would have necessarily
    chosen, we are committed to making this transition as smooth and as
    God-honoring as possible.

    Right now it looks like our date for “end of service” will be December 15,
    2008. We are contractually obligated to give Alliance Ministries 60 days of
    notice. The December 15 date will make the transition period approximately
    90 days.

    Here’s my personal opinion. I think that the need for the Alliance may have passed. When it was created back in 1995 this thing was totally needed. Ministries struggled to find decent hosts, small ministries had no practical way to create an online presence without spending tons of cash, and there wasn’t a lot of technical support out there for people just learning. Boy how times have changed! Speaking as a member, having been to the conference, I just don’t see the need for this type of Alliance.

    With that said, I do think there is a great need to keep ministries together. I think that things like traning events and sharing resources is always going to be needed. Further, I think that as ministries get more sophisticated and as high capacity people look for work in this field there will be a greater need for the networking that something like GCI could provide.

    In other words, a retooled version of the Alliance could and will still work. Fewer hoops, increase the help, and loads of churches and ministries will flock to it. Hint: Make it for-profit, ask people to pay to be a part of it, but make it worth their while to pay. Another hint: Dump the hosting and technical support. No need to compete on that playing field with hosts that are so cheap and so reliable.

    What about the Gospel Communication sites? All I know is that there’s no way sites like ThinkChristian.net or Biblegateway.com will go away. They are simply too popular to let go.

  • Pause, Remember, Resolve

    It seems with each passing year the resolve remains that we should not forget that day, September 11th 2008. Here’s a comment I left on Ray Pritchard’s blog last year about the day. Ray was our pastor then and in some ways he is still our pastor today.

    Like many other Calvary folks, my wife and I were in the city at work. I went to work at 4:00 AM that day, just like any other day. I took my lunch break from 6:30-7:30 AM and on my way back I remember looking up at the Sears Tower and making a mental note about the crystal blue sky that morning. It was a beautiful day in Chicago.

    Like everyone else, we were sent home about 9:30 that morning. As we crawled through traffic to get home we listened to the radio, made lots of phone calls to check on friends, and went and picked up our daughter from the babysitter early.

    We were at church that night praying with a lot of other people. I guess, like the staff, we didn’t know what else to do but come together and pray. I remember thinking that morning… will they have a prayer meeting tonight? Maybe we should call the church? But we didn’t because we knew there would be. I guess you guys just had the people’s pulse and knew what we needed.

    My friend Patti Gibbons shared a reflection that I published on the YS blog today, I encourage you to check that out as well.

  • 911 Fun

    HT to Mark