• Still overcoming fears

    Last week I sat down and overcame a fear.

    I’ll be 36 years old next week. There are still moments when I stare in the mirror and have to psyche myself up to do something that makes me nervous.

    When I was a kid I was horribly shy. I would hide from any situation that might make me stand out. I loved to meet new people but I was terrified to talk to them. I was fine with my family and friends. But go to a party where I might not know people? That was really hard. I can think of all the activities I didn’t try (but should have) or things that I quit merely because I was shy.

    Eventually, by the time high school arrive, I was just fed up with being shy. And slowly I forced myself to learn how to be more and more outgoing.

    When Marko asked me to co-author a book with him my voice said yes by my entire guts shuddered. I suppose a lot of people really want to write books. And I know others who have tried for years to get a book contract. But for me? I’ve had several opportunities in the past few years and always found a way to say no.

    I was afraid I’d suck at it.

    Specifically– I know how to write something people will enjoy reading in the 500 – 1000 word range. I’m comfortable with blogs and magazine articles. It might take you 5 minutes to read this post– that’s my sweet spot. But the thought of writing something that might be worth someone’s afternoon or weekend? I don’t know  how to do that.

    Last week I locked myself in a nice hotel room and wrote the manuscript.

    The first half of the first day was hilarious. I turned the internet off in order to eliminate distractions. And then I quickly replaced it with lots and lots of finding ways to distract myself. I went down to see if the water was warm in the pool. Then I went to the grocery store. Then I put the outline for the book into MacJournal and set-up a writing schedule to break it all into bite-sized chunks. Then I remembered that there was a bakery that had really delicious things. Then I went down to the front desk to report something was wrong with my room. Then I put everything away in the kitchen. Then I set up a playlist so I wouldn’t be distracted by a bad song. Then I spent 15 minutes cleaning my bluetooth keyboard because they light in the room showed just how dirty it was and that bothered me. That was followed by an hour of cleaning up the files on my desktop and downloads folder because I’d been meaning to do that.

    Of course, by then it was only an hour before dinner and after dinner I’d promised myself I’d take a walk on the pier to watch the sunset.

    That’s when the red light went off. I wasn’t just busy getting settled. I was trying to avoid the first chapter.

    Dangit. Fear crept in and was literally eating time, getting stronger.

    Recognizing that little inclination was a big deal. It wasn’t just procrastination. It was fear of writing the book. By naming that– verbally saying it to myself– I was able to push through.

    Two days later and two hours ahead of schedule, I finished the manuscript. I barely slept on Wednesday night… just got into a grove, and made it happen.

    It was when I saved the manuscript on Google Docs that I felt this upswell of accomplishment. I’d stared at a fear, one I’d held onto for the last four years, and kicked it in the nuts.

    What about you? What do you do when fear is debilitating? How do you overcome it?

  • Spring garden harvest

    This afternoon we are harvesting the rest from our Spring garden and planting summer stuff. (Cucumbers, zucchini, melons) Here’s the beautiful stuff we just picked!

  • Happy Birthday, Blog

    Today marks 8 years of blogging at adammclane.com. (There was an earlier blog, I don’t know what happened to it.) And I’m marking that anniversary by going back to my very first post. Why am I starting this?

    Why am I starting this?

    Editorial note: This was my first post on my blogger, version 2.0 of my blog.

    Perhaps many people start a blog because they are trying to prove to the world just how smart they are? Perhaps others do it so they can feel like someone is listening to them? Perhaps others do it as a way to share what’s going on in their lives.

    But why am I doing this? Mostly as a way to share with myself, just what is going on. I’m not going to use this as a platform for anything else but… Well, whatever I feel like posting. Quotes. Golf scores. Youth Group talks. Carry-over rants. Interesting articles. Stories about the kids. Whatever I want!

    That’s been my philosophy for the past 8 years. At the end of the day I’m going to write whatever I want!

    It’s hard to believe where this little blog has taken me. From these first days in 2004 when I had exactly zero readers. To today when the things I write before I head off to work are read by a few thousand people by the time I go to sleep.

    Who woulda thunk? Certainly not me.

    Thanks for reading. And here’s to another 8 years!

  • Sitting down to write

    I’m on a three day writing retreat to finish one manuscript and begin two others. It’s weird. I write 700-1000 words every day before work and it’s not unusual to write a few thousand more per day for my work. But I’ve never actually set aside 60 hours from everything else just to write.

    Some learnings….

    • Working on a book is really jacking with my writing mojo. On a typical morning I can write a 500-1000 word blog post in under and hour. It’s a whole lot harder to write a chapter, then another chapter, then another chapter all on the same topic in a single sitting.
    • This is a skill I think I can get into. What I write every day comes so easily. I think if I had the right space I could be a 10,000 words per day writer 4-5 days per week.
    • Pausing in a solo retreat is an additional animal to manage. Sitting down and creating this space to work on the book was easy. But being alone, taking long walks, eating meals by myself… that’s all slowing me down and making me really self-reflective and I’ve got ideas flying in from every direction. I might need to create writing retreats and solo retreats as two separate habits.
    • I really like being in Mexico. I’m in a small beach town just 45 minutes from home. It has everything that makes me happy. (Minus having my family here) Ocean breezes, long beaches, nice hotels, in-room kitchens, street tacos. We’re a long way from this but it has me dreaming of having a beach house down here.
    • Mexicans are the Americans the typical American thinks they are. I’ve now been down here enough to pick up on some cultural insights. Hang with me for a minute. Most of us who have had exposure with border areas have spent time with the poor or working poor. But when you get a little deeper into Mexico, away from the craziness of the industrial border zones, you start to bump into middle class Mexican families. These are people whose culture is hard-working, prides themselves on their law-abiding nature, are modest in how they dress, and define themselves by being very, very polite. These are the shared values with middle class Americans I wish we could build bridges on.
    • It’s fun staying at a hotel that hosts big, fancy Quinceañera parties. For about $700 you can host a massive party here at the hotel for 500 guests, including food and liquor a tent (or rooftop) and DJ for 8 hours. If you’ve never seen one of these it is somewhere between a first communion party and a wedding. Last night I watched a young woman do a video and photo shoot in advance of her party this weekend. She had a full film crew profiling her complete with a make-up person, lighting director, sound direction, TV-style video camera, and producer. After that she had 3 photographers. Two took pictures while a woman overseeing the shoot laid on the grass showing her all the girly poses she should be making to get the perfect shot. Hilarious to watch.
    • There’s no way to hide from my task. Yesterday I had a period where I fought through procrastination. It’s hilarious when you don’t have any distractions how you can get desperate to distract yourself. I spent an hour organizing files on my computer and deleting stuff I didn’t really need. While it was nice to get that done I totally wasted an hour and was annoyed at myself for it.
    • Nailing down jello is impossible. Since I’m writing on social media and basing so much of my work on current statistics, it feels really weird to quote statistics in a book when the statistics will have new variations by the time this is published. I’ve just had to convince myself that this is why I’m writing about principles and not exact responses to trends.
    • Turning off the creativity. This is non-fiction piece so I’m having to force myself to limit creativity. That’s really hard.

    OK, time is up. Time to turn off the internet until dinner. (I’m cracking my own whip here, people!)

  • Hold On, Dreamer!

    Reject the sleepers gravitational pull! His mediocrity and compromise feels so easy but brings such torment. (Eph 5:14)

    While the old, learned, and supposedly wise stare down their noses at your youthful spirit– lead them by chasing your unfalteringly impossible dreams. (1 Timothy 4:12) 

    Yet don’t be deceived. Those temple-loving Christians want you dead. Your dreams are dangerous to them. Your dream soaked actions threaten their man-made puffed-up power. (Mark 11:15-18)

    Their positions of power are a well-intentioned den of vipers. They’d rather be popular hypocrites than simple servants to the poor, the lost, the widows, and orphans. (Matthew 23) 

    But not you. O, your life itself is shalom. You don’t just study God’s Word— you’re wild enough to live it. (James 3:13-16)

    You spend time with the wrong people. You’re more comfortable eating dinner with a pimp or pimply-faced punk as the self-righteous. For you dream that theirs too is the Kingdom of God. (Matthew 9:10-13)

    Your faith is untamed. It’s a raging inferno of purpose. It’s more driven than any model. It’s wide-eyed and beautiful recklessness. Strategy and planning take a back seat when you’re at your best. For the Spirit both comforts and guides. (John 14:16-17)

    You see earthly success as wasteful failure while embracing Kingdom dreams of another way. (Matthew 4:19)

    Christ shines not on your sweet sleep dreams, but on the vivid realities of your waking walking wonderful dreams. (Ephesians 5:14)

    These dreams aren’t just for you, they are you. 

    The Gospel isn’t just for your eternal destiny, it lives through you to renew your neighborhood. (John 1:14)

    Hold on, Dreamer!

    Hold on. 

    Photo credit: Climbing Hands by bhmkim via Flickr (Creative Commons)

  • GIVEAWAY: Teaching Through the Art of Storytelling by Jon Huckins

    What is it…

    It’s the first book by my friend and co-author, Jon Huckins. If you’ve ever thought of integrating fictional storytelling into your teaching this is the book you need. (You realize this is what Jesus did with the whole parable thing, right? Yeah, totally biblical.) It’s a great resource– it flew under the radar a bit because he was a first-time author.

    Who is Jon…

    I first met Jon a couple years ago when I was in Berkeley, CA promoting NYWC. He came to a lunch we hosted and we met briefly. Then a few months later he moved down to San Diego to work with Nieucommunities in Golden Hill. Since August he and I have shared office space, done some life together, and worked our tails off on the Good News in the Neighborhood curriculum. Later this summer I’m fully stepping into Jon’s world by going on his trip to the West Bank. (More on this later.)

    Why I like it…

    1. I think fictional storytelling is a vastly under-developed communication skill. Even if you don’t use it as a primary teaching tool you need to have this in your bag.
    2. This is right out of his ministry. This isn’t an idea that Jon had and he built content around it to support the idea. This started as something he refined in his ministry and then became a book. He’s sharing his secret weapon for capturing the hearts of hard-to-reach teenagers. You need this.

    How you can get it…

    BUY IT. Head over to Jon’s site and pick up a copy. (Also available on Amazon)

    WIN IN. Leave a comment to this post by midnight tonight (May 22nd) and you’ll be entered to win a free copy of Jon’s book.

  • The Prize

    “Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one gets the prize? Run in such a way as to get the prize.”  ~ 1 Corinthians 9:24

    Ah, the prize! I am wired to win the prize. Well, sometimes I am.

    Can I be honest? I’m better at running really hard than I am at knowing what the prize even is! Paul continues, “No, I strike a blow to my body and make it my slave so that after I have preached to others, I myself will not be disqualified for the prize.” Yeah, I’m certainly not beating my body about anything. (In the literal sense.)

    I’ve never met anyone who is truly up to that challenge. Sorry Paul.

    This passage, as familiar as it is, confuses me. It’s really clear what Paul’s prize is– winning souls. (v. 19) But that passage isn’t prescriptive and the language isn’t inclusive to assume that the prize/goal for every Christian is to preach to win lost souls.

    It’s confusing because it is so direct yet so ambiguous.

    Yet for the rest of us. For those who aren’t apostles. For those of us who aren’t hard-wired as preachers or evangelists… we want a prize, too!?! 

    Get Your Prize!

    I’ve learned to love Paul’s ambiguity. While 1 Corinthians describes this prize, Paul life had times where other prizes were his muse. The point wasn’t that his prize was THE prize it’s that God gave him a pursuit and he went after it with his all.

    Let’s us cast off the silliness of prescriptive, exacting prizes and recklessly chase the prize God has laid on our hearts for today.

    Don’t chase Paul’s prize. Chase yours.

    Photo credit: Daniel Coomber via Flickr (Creative Commons)
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  • How to Keep Your Youth Ministry Job

    How to Keep Your Youth Ministry Job

    Spring firing season has begun.

    The end of the school year is a dangerous time to be in youth ministry. With the program year winding down it is prime time for church leadership to make a decision on whether to keep their youth worker for another school year.

    Hint: If you get invited to an unscheduled meeting with the elders in the next few weeks, you’re getting fired. I’m sorry. (Er “forced to resign” which is the same thing but makes the elders feel better about it.)

    I have several friends who are going through this right now. And it really sucks. 

    Here’s two things you need to nail to keep your youth ministry job

    1. Measurables. Oh sure, we talk about the importance of relational ministry. But don’t kid yourself… it’s about numbers. If you want to get paid to do youth ministry (a pay check is a number, by the way) than you better deliver something everyone agrees is measurable and communicate that measurable well. This might be your career, but to a church leader the youth ministry program is just another mouth to feed. (It’s an expenditure.) They want to look at the financial investment they are making and see the results. You’d be wise to start the ministry year communicating clearly defined desired outcomes with  measurables and then preparing a presentation in February/March to show what you’ve done to meet those desired outcomes as well as the measurable impact. Flow charts, graphs, and case studies. If you think I’m being ridiculous… go talk to someone who works at a non-church charity, they have staff people whose sole job is to keep the funding coming by creating desired outcomes and presenting measurables to donors. At the end of the day the only way leadership will continue funding your ministry is to constantly prove it’s working.
    2. Donor relations. Earlier this week I wrote a post called Skin in the Game. As a church staff person you need to know that those who attend the church, especially those for 10+ years, have a lot more skin in the game than you do. Don’t buy the lie that the staff have the most skin in the game at a church… it’s just not true. You are an employee hired to do #1, you are not an owner. I could point you to dozens of friends who have learned this the hard way. They thought being friendly with all the leaders or doing really important, hard work meant that they were safe. Or they thought that if they simply cared a lot and gave everything they had to it that their career would be fine. And then they got invited to a meeting and asked to resign. Spiritually, the owners might be “under your authority” but that doesn’t mean they won’t fire you. I don’t care if you’re the best youth pastor in America. If you don’t deliver on #1 above you’re in big trouble. In professional sports terms, they are the owners and you are the coaches. You job is to win and attract “fans” aka potential owners. If you’re aren’t delivering results than your job is hanging purely by your ability to manage donor relations. Manage those relationships well and you can probably hang on until you deliver on #1. But mismanaging those relationships makes a board decision to fire you a whole lot easier. (Hint: It’s not always the board who are the people you need on your side. Make sure you’re managing the right relationships.)

    When I talk to friends in youth ministry who have just been let go, those are the two things it always comes down to. Measurables and donor relations. (aka “politics.”) You might disagree with me on that, and you can probably point to a case where that wasn’t true. But let me reassure you… nail those two things and you are eliminating 90% of the reasons my friends have gotten fired.

    Maybe this post is too matter of fact for you? Trust me. I’m only sharing to prevent your pain. I know that I’ve taken something so personal, so much a part of you, and so much a part of your faith and narrowed it down to two bullet points for how you can keep going. I know it seems simpleton and I don’t really get your context. But you just need to know the truth. Don’t be naive. We are all capable of getting fired. Manage these two things well and all the other things you love about your job can continue. Mismanage them and you’re in for a world of hurt. It might not be this Spring, but your Spring is coming.

    UPDATE: Brian Berry has a continuation of this post on his blog. Go check it out.

    Tip: Get canned? Check out our free job board over at The Youth Cartel.

  • Garden Update

    This is our 3rd spring with a garden. Our skills are definitely improving. Here’s a quick rundown of how it’s going.

    1. Carrots – We tried a different, more exotic variety this year. They didn’t do anything. It’s time to tear up that spot and plant some beans.
    2. Chards – This is our first time with swiss chard, a regular in our CSA box, and it’s gone great. Once it matures you just start cutting the outsides off that you want to eat and it keeps going. It’s starting to slow down a bit as the weather warms up, I think they are likely going to be done soon.
    3. Beets – Another first time planting. We learned a lot about separating them this year. We planted them in a great big bunch, which made for amazing greenery but relatively small fruit. So we picked the big ones and replanted the little ones. So far, so good.
    4. Green beans – They never took off this year. No idea why, but it was a weird spring, too. So no  telling if it was us or the weather or the soil.
    5. Peas – Third year trying english peas and third year of failing. We have no idea what’s going wrong!
    6. Celery – Huge success with celery. Wow! It got huge, was delicious, and is currently going to seed. We’ll store the seeds for next winter and try planting them.
    7. Strawberries – One of the great things about strawberries is that they just keep going and going. We’re getting a pint or so every day right now, which Jackson manages to claim for himself.
    8. Onions – First time with onions and they turned out great! We harvested half of them this week and we’ll pull the other half soon. Big, pretty red onions. We’ve also been planting green onions and other things with roots that are leftovers from our CSA box… so awesome that it just starts growing again.
    9. Sweet corn – We planted sweet corn about 5-6 weeks ago and the stalks are already up to my waste. So fun to see them thriving, I spotted the first husk today.
    10. Tomatoes – Our neighbor gave us a large patch in our shared way back yard and we filled it up with tomato plants. I just came in from weeding and taping them up, big old bumped crop is coming! From a distance it doesn’t look like much. But when you get inside the gate you can see these plants are thriving out there in the sun. Drip irrigation and full sun is perfect for tomato plants. They are now bushy enough where I’m no longer worried about the summer sun burning them up.
    11. Herbs – We cut our herbs all the way back this winter and they are back with a vengeance right now. Unlimited mint, rosemary, and oregano.

    How is your garden going? 

  • How I Made Facebook Lovely Again

    Oh Facebook.

    You temptress. You instigator. You heartbreaker. You are so freaking addicting and maddening all at the same time. You define paradox for me. 

    Here’s what we all know: You either control Facebook or Facebook will control you.

    With more than 1600 virtual friends… let me be the first to admit that Facebook was starting to drive me nuts. Literally, I felt as if I teeter tottered on sanity. It was just too much.

    But in the past 3-4 months I’ve been able to do a couple simple things that made Facebook much more enjoyable.

    Here’s how I made Facebook lovely again

    1. Manage your subscriptions – I accept friend requests from just about anyone. But here’s a little secret. If I don’t actually know you I don’t want to see every one of your status updates. So I mark you as “Only Important” on my subscription settings. So when I see someone pop up on my timeline and I don’t really know them, they get marked as “Only Important.” Over time this makes a massive difference! Conversely, if someone is in my family I mark their updates as “All Updates.” But most of my actual, in-real-life friends are marked as “Most updates” and that works just fine.
    2. Manage requests – Oh baby, event notifications and game requests will drive you batty. So I kill them all. I’ve never played a single game on Facebook and I block ’em all. I also found that all the game requests were coming from a very small minority of my friends. So not only do I block that specific game, but if you request I play a game I also mark you as “block game requests from this person.” Oh, sweet sanity!
    3. Hide updates from Yahoo, USAToday, and any other site that shares my friends browsing activity – This is your next sanity finder. All you have to do is click the little dropdown on that block of links and mark the “hide” button. That makes it all go away and I never see it again. (I couldn’t take a screenshot to show you because it’s all gone!)
    4. Turn off all notifications – If I want Facebook I go to Facebook. Head over to Notification Settings and turn them all off. I never want to get an email from Facebook. No direct message notifications, no friend requests, no tag notifications, nothing. Also, scroll down to Other Applications and turn all of those off.
    5. Close the tab – I know it’s tempting to keep Facebook open all day. That way when a notification pops up you are able to get right there and see who liked your image or who commented on your status update. Close the tab. The coolest thing will happen! You’ll get your life back and enjoy Facebook even more when you want to. In other words, I don’t let other people’s use of Facebook interrupt my life.

    Taking these measures of control and getting the settings just right has truly made my use of Facebook lovely again. And that’s a sweet sane victory!