Tag: ministry

  • Ebenezer

    Photo by cmiked via Flickr (Creative Commons)

    This is it.

    Today is the day.

    I don’t have time for could, woulda, or shoulda. I only have time for results.

    I know the stats. I know the strategies. I know what it takes to get it done… it’s time to get it done.

    [Insert whatever analogy you need to fire yourself up]

    I’m a youth worker. It’s in my blood. It is who I’m called to be and it is who I am. And all youth workers are hard-wired to plan stuff out in August. August is our January. We plan vacations, mission trips, concerts, retreats, camps, and everything else. If it is going to happen in 2010-2011… now is when we lay it out.

    In August, we lay out our dreams for the school year in August.

    August is our ebenezer.

    So that is what I’m doing this August. I’m laying down my dreams. I’m laying down my hopes. And I’m putting aside my excuses.

    I’m tired of waiting for next year.

    I don’t have time to build another year.

    I am getting too old to sit around and wait for something good to happen. Or the right kid to show up. Or the wrong kid to “get it.”

    I don’t want to just hang out with kids anymore without a purpose. We’ve played enough video games, eaten enough pizza, and I’ve been to enough high school games.

    This. is. it.

    This year.

    This day.

    This moment.

    Now is the only time that matters.

    I’ve got no patience for coulda, woulda, or shoulda.

    This is my ebenezer.

  • 5 Ways to Fight Loneliness in Leadership

    It’s lonely at the top.

    For those who work in the church, we all know it. Those who make it for the long haul either succumb to a lifetime of loneliness and don’t have any real friends or we learn to adapt and find deep connection outside the walls of the church.

    But loneliness doesn’t have to be a part of the job. You really can have deep friendships and be in full-time ministry.

    Acquaintance vs. Friendship

    The first few years I worked at churches I confused church members hospitality with true friendship. Sure, I really enjoyed being close with people in the church… but at the end of the day (and certainly in retrospect when you step away from a church) a lot of those people I thought were my friends turned out to be just positional acquaintances. As soon as I stopped being their Pastor Adam they stopped wanting to hang out. Once I stopped investing in their kids there were no more invitations to dinner, golf, and BBQs.

    Of course, we have been able to transition a few of those church acquaintances into true lifelong friendship. (For which we’re totally thankful!) But I think getting there took some time and wisdom.

    A spouse helps but doesn’t really count

    Kristen is my best friend. That goes without saying. But Kristen could never fill the void I needed in ministry as a friend and confidant. When I meet with people young in ministry, I often see them putting their spouse in the friend category. Of course, your spouse will help you curb loneliness! But don’t forget your spouse needs to find true friendship outside of you, as well.

    So, what works?

    Here are five things that helped me get past loneliness and find some healthy friendship while in church leadership.

    1. Find a ministry network locally. Believe it or not, there are people just like you in your own community! Joining a network is a great way to meet people. Go a couple of times, see who you connect with, then take the first step and take that one person out to lunch.
    2. Join a sports club or league. I don’t mean a church league either. Join a league and get outside of your church social circle. Get to know contractors and realtors and other normal people.
    3. Connect with long-time friends intentionally. Some of my best friends in ministry, I only see once or twice per year. The few days we spend together per year are awesome and fill up our tanks. Going to the same conference really helps. But even meeting up for a weekend somewhere goes a long way.
    4. Ignore other leaders who live unhealthy lives. For whatever reason, church ministry attracts workaholics. Looking through job postings at YS I can’t believe how many of them will admit that they want someone to work more than 40 hours per week. Don’t work at those ministries. Go home on time. Make wise use of your ministry time and you’ll have tons of time for real friendship. Never forget that its Jesus’ job to grow the church.
    5. Take the first step! I think I spent over a year completely lonely and out of my mind crazy because I was waiting for fellow ministry people in my community to come find me. It’s not going to happen. The assumption is always going to be that you are busy and your life is full of relationships until you step out first.
  • Best of 2008

    Best of 2008

    Note: I’m on vacation this week. My family has a rule for daddy– It’s not a vacation if daddy brings a computer. Each day this week I’m highlighting my favorite post from the adammclane.com archives. These are oldies but goodies.

    “Who Are You Anyway?”

    Confession #1: I’ve gotten wrapped up in being called a leader. I fall into the mistake of thinking people want to know what I think. Instead, a true leader defers to the ultimate source of wisdom, thinking, and counsel. The most appropriate thing I can do as a leader is point someone to ultimate truth found in the Bible. And I recognize that sometimes I do that and sometimes I depend on my own talent, experiences, and personal preferences. I used to be so good at saying, “This is what the Bible says: _______. And this is what I would do if I were in your position: ______________.” It seems that the more people want to recognize me as a “leader” the more I want to emphasize the latter instead of the former. The result is that I’m not always the best leader I can be. Ironic, eh?

    Confession #2: I get wrapped up in being called a pastor. I’ve never been comfortable with that title. But as the year’s have gone by I’ve gotten much less diligent in blushing it off when people call me “Pastor Adam.” I don’t know if it’s that I’ve gotten comfortable with what God has done and others recognize that in me or if I just like being called a pastor? Now, it’s true. That is what/who I am. And I am not ashamed of the title. I am not ashamed of my position. And I am not ashamed of my church. It’s not about shame. I recognize that its a sign of respect for my position yet I’ve always been uncomfortable with being labeled any title. Since I entered full-time ministry I’ve always self-reflected and laughed at God’s slapping me… ME… with the title of pastor. Sure… since I was little… even before I was a Christian… I always knew I’d be in ministry. But I also know who I am. I am biblically qualified to be a pastor and yet I know who I am.

    • Above reproach? As far as I know
    • A one woman man? Heck yes!
    • Temperate? I do my very best to not lose it
    • Self-controlled? To the best of my knowledge
    • Respectable? You tell me
    • Hospitable? Check
    • Able to teach? Check
    • Not given to drunkenness? Been good on that one since early teens
    • Not violent but gentle? By the grace of God
    • Not quarrelsome? Not my thing
    • Not a lover of money? How could I be?
    • Manage his family well? Could always do better
    • Not a recent convert? Check
    • Good reputation? Let me know, OK?

    Confession #3: I want to get more wrapped up in my identity as a daddy and husband than as “Pastor Adam.” Closing in on 6 years of working in churches full time and I know well why some denominations don’t let their pastors marry. The demands on the position are over-the-top hard to balance with a family. People think nothing of about calling me late at night or early in the morning to talk to me or ask me to do something. And I’m always tempted to work every day and most nights for youth group, small groups, meetings, and other stuff that lands on my schedule. I really don’t think this is biblical and I should be more disciplined about saying “Can we talk or do this tomorrow?” In the past 6 years we’ve had countless family meals interrupted, countless dates disrupted, dozens of movies put on pause, play time put on pause for other people so many times my kids hate it when I take a call, times with daddy missed for this and that. Spending quality time with other people’s kids while missing the same with my own. Honestly, I hardly ever noticed. But my wife and kids did. It’s tough being married with kids and being married with kids to a church. Only recently have I been doing some studying in the New Testament and I realized… “Wait a minute! These guys weren’t nearly as available as I am and God still thought they rocked as pastors and leaders.”

    Read the rest

    This is one of those blogs posts that has stuck with me. For the last two years I’ve been unwinding myself from being “Pastor Adam” to going back to being “just Adam.”

    I’m thankful for my new life and friendships. And I’m thankful that most of those people know me as Adam and not Pastor Adam. I still don’t know/think that I’m done with being on church staff… but I do know that if there is a next time, I won’t let people call me Pastor Adam. You can have a title with your job. But you can’t ever allow yourself to be that title more than you are yourself.

  • Best of 2004

    Note: I’m on vacation this week. My family has a rule for daddy– It’s not a vacation if daddy brings a computer. Each day this week I’m highlighting my favorite post from the adammclane.com archives. These are oldies but goodies.

    Yes, I am Wasting My Life

    August 31st 2004

    Again this month we are short financially. Grad school came calling. Preschool came calling. Uncle Sam gets his cut in a few days. A combination of expected and unexpected expenses draws a little more money from savings to checking in a constant game of robbing Peter to pay Paul. Life’s expenses are again expensive. Each time this happens to me I start to reminisce about what life could have been like for Kristen and Megan and Paul. Had we stayed on the path of corporate success in Chicago we wouldn’t have this to worry about. The bills always got paid in full. There was always a little extra at the end of the month. We could always surprise someone with a special gift. Vacation? No problem. New tires? How about the best? New clothes? Why not. Yet in the same moments I recall the emptiness I had as I laid in bed at night, longing for my life to be wasted for something more important than getting richer… or more precisely, helping rich people get richer.

    Read the rest

    It’s 2010. I am still here. I am still wasting my life. And I still love every minute of it.

  • Social Media and Youth Ministry

    Today I had the chance to talk to youth workers in East County about all sorts of internet and technology stuff. Here are some highlights of that discussion.

    • It’s important to identify WHY you are a part of social media. Youth workers must get past the passive-praxis response of just doing it because it feels like we should and all the cool kids are doing it. Please pause and reflect on the theology behind what you are doing. I’ve got an article in the Winter 2010 issue of The Journal of Student Ministries which talks more about this.
    • Teens are multi-tasking everything. They watch TV while texting and having a friend over– and both are listening to music on their iPods. This results in some funky relationships where people are “together” physically but don’t talk to one another. Though they might text each other about the movie they are watching. If you need to see this phenomenon go do some observation at Target. You will see teen girls shopping together while talking via text to other people. True confession: I’m guilty of this one, big time!
    • Text messaging is king in youth ministry. You text a student, you know you are getting to them. Do more of that! go unlimited, baby! Engage them where they are with how they are willing to engage you.
    • Don’t forget to go to stuff like games. Technology makes some things easier, but you physically showing up in their life is still a big deal.
    • The new report from the Kaiser Family Foundation on media consumption by teens is mandatory reading for youth workers everywhere. Here’s the link. Don’t come to conclusions, read articles, or do anything else about the topic until you digest this new study.
    • Parent issues with technology are a big deal in some circles. But it seems like there is less of a battle with Facebook compared to Myspace.
    • Fewer ministry dollars and time are being spent on building a web presence as we all just cave in and do stuff on Facebook. I think this is a good thing.
    • Tools like Hootsuite and CoTweet are perfect for busy youth workers. Sit down once a week and schedule Facebook profile messages and tweets.
    • Presence is becoming a major issue. Kids don’t even know how to just sit and have a conversation anymore. Of course, this starts with adults. I’d suggest everyone reads Flickering Pixels by Shane Hipps. I love how he approaches the topic.
    • IRL is back. All of this technology is leaving kids hungry for real life experiences. Events, retreats, concerts… experience are all hot this year. It might not be in traditional ways, but real life stuff is becoming cool again.

    One trend that I meant to talk about but ran out of time with is this: I’m seeing fewer and fewer teens reach out to become content creators. It’s not just that I am around shy kids, it really is that there are fewer teens out there who are contributing substantive thoughts/comments. Attention spans are about that of a flea right now. Which is why sites like Fail Blog, FML, and TFLN are so popular among teens. (Those links are not safe for work) Look at the comment sections of these sites. Nothing of substance whatsoever. There must be $1 billion in text messages sent in 2010 containing either “lol” or “k.”

  • My 3 Caddy Rules for Ministry

    caddy
    CC 2.0 jenni40947 via Flickr

    I’m a golfer. I’ve played the game off and on most of my life. More importantly, I love being around golfers.

    There is a joke among golfers that there are just three rules to a caddy’s job. “Just show up, keep up, and shut up.”

    That’s really how I feel about our burgeoning youth ministry. I’m just trying to show up, keep up, and shut up.

    Show up

    Let’s be real. As a volunteer that is 85%. I want to get there on time, be ready to join in whatever needs to be done, and be present emotionally.

    Keep up

    I’m learning. Tonight I came home feeling good because I felt like I learned a bunch of the kids names. I feel like I have a ton more to learn so that I feel like I’m actually contributing. I’ve got to keep up.

    Shut up

    The kids in our ministry could care less what I do for a living, how long I’ve been in ministry, or anything else. I just need to shut up and be there for them.

  • The Hook-Up for Youth Group

    woot

    I was so distracted by convention last week that I failed to really process/understand/comprehend an e-mail I got about our brand new youth ministry. It’s really cool to see people get on board with what we are trying to do.

    Background: About 6 weeks ago I had lunch with two pastors at Harbor Mid-City. Basically, they felt like the time was now to form something more substantial. Christine Brinn had done an amazing job with some of the young women and created an awesome model for mentorship. We wanted to build on that and reach more students. So we quickly formed a team, had 3-4 meetings, and launched last week with a handful of students. Idea-to-launch in 6 weeks. Stellar.

    What we want to do: Our dream is for this thing to be Good News in a holistic way. You can’t be in this neighborhood and think that a youth ministry can just be about teaching the Bible. So we want to meet practical needs… as many as possible. Stuff like, making sure our students get a good meal experience with us. We want to offer educational tutoring. We want to offer leadership development. We want to offer family services. And we want to provide a more substantial level of mentorship than we currently can handle. And we want to get all of that started yesterday because the need is so great.

    The problem: Practically speaking that’s an awesome dream. But as I’ve said a bunch of times… an unfunded vision is just a dream and when we said what we wanted the vision to look like we were really just dreaming. We had 4 adults. We had no where to meet. We didn’t have tutors or mentors for everyone. Pretty much all of the vision was laid out in faith that somehow, in time, God would provide.

    How God hooked us up! This church moves quick… have you noticed? I got an email from Kathy that outlines two amazing things. First, a church in City Heights has made their building available to us. That’s amazing stuff right there! Not only did we get hooked up on a place to meet– we can use it tonight! Second, Kathy made a pitch to InterVarsity over at San Diego State to students about getting involved by offering educational tutoring to students in the neighborhood. That’s right, you guessed it… our tutoring ministry kicks off NEXT WEEK!

    Building momentum towards the rest: These are two awesome things. A place to meet and a gaggle of people wanting to help teach is awesome. Those two things make the dream a little more of a reality. But there are also new challenges ahead. We still need access to family services. We still need people to help provide the stuff these kids need. We still need more mentors. And, of course, all of that stuff requires money we don’t have.

    But for now, I’m celebrating!

  • Towards Holistic Youth Ministry

    degrees-360I’ve been blogging the Harbor Mid-City journey as we head towards a launch of student ministry. Up until now in the life cycle of the church plant youth ministry has always been around– part of the DNA– but never emerged as a priority. That’s changing rapidly as the church has formed to the point where ministering to adolescents is bubbling to the top of needs.

    Here is where we are:

    – We are doing a “soft launch” next Tuesday. 8-10 students are coming to one of the pastors house where we will eat dinner, get to know one another, we’ll crack open the Bible, and break off into discussion groups.

    – We’ve got a core team of 4 to start “youth group” with. (That doesn’t seem like the right term, but it’s what we have.)

    – We are creating a ministry aimed at ministering to the whole needs of our students. So Tuesday night youth group is really just one part of the greater sum of what we’re doing. We already offer mentorship, we’ll be adding to that academic help, regular community service projects, leadership development, and family assistance and probably more stuff as we go. The antithesis of what we’re after is entertainment.

    – For now, we’re focusing on high school and recent graduates. The church has a pretty solid kids ministry and for now, that’s where the middle schoolers will be ministered to.

    – For the first quarter, we are meeting in a house. But an early goal is to secure a meeting site somewhere more suitable.

    – Unlike anywhere else I’ve worked with students… getting rides is a big deal.

    – The concept of plural leadership seems to be in the DNA of what we’re creating. I’ve committed to leading up to 25%. For now that means I’m in charge of content. (Either teaching or lining up the teaching, but helping develop the content for the group.)

    – There’s a lot of excitement as we get started. I’d call it naive but the truth is that there’s a lot of experience in the leadership group. We know what we’re getting into and we’re pumped at what God is doing!

    – I think it’s a good idea that we don’t have all of the details, vision, and particulars nailed. Since we already have a solid group of students to launch with… it just seems better to launch with what we have and line-up the rest as we go.

    – We are looking to learn. I’m picking the brains of the urban youth workers I know, putting feelers out to meet more, and our team is all doing the same thing. We know we aren’t inventing something even though it feels like it.

    – Yes, we have a sexy acronymn for what we’re doing. I just can’t remember it.

  • The Dark Side of Attractional Ministry

    dark-side-attractional-ministry

    The dark side of attractional ministry is that it’s a short term strategy.

    True confession–

    I was a perveyor of an attractional ministry model. It never permeated any youth group that I’ve been a part of, but the structure of our last ministry was– at it’s very core– an attractional model within our two biggest demographics. (Children and adults 40+) Time and time again here on the blog I’ve made generalizations about attractional ministry, not just as an outside observer, but as someone who has participated and performed within the model. I critique because I know!

    Three quick reasons attractional ministry doesn’t work:

    1. A life with Christ isn’t entertaining. At the end of the day, a day-to-day walk with Jesus isn’t filled with flash pots, set design, video screens, and compelling skits, and crafted messages for the heart. So the premise itself presents a well-intentioned lie about Jesus.

    2. When the lights go out, people feel empty. Whether its an amazing kids program or a great event for adults. The reality is that people leave feeling empty and longing for more. Just like 2 hours of television doesn’t fill the soul quite like an intense conversation with a good friend, an amazing night of Jesus-y entertainment just leaves you tired and empty. The attractional model had the same effect as a visit to a casino. A huge build up and a huge let-down. (With free drinks along the way.)

    3. It’s unsustainable. This goes in a few directions. It isn’t sustainable in that a single church cannot entertain all the demographics/age groups you will attract. Also, it isn’t sustainable among volunteer and paid staff. (People don’t volunteer to entertain, they volunteer to minister) Lastly, it isn’t sustainable as it doesn’t prepare people to leave your church and fulfill the Great Commision.

    You can’t sustain it as a church

    When we first began our attractional ministry to children it seemed so innocent. The idea was if we could make the kids program awesome, kids wouldn’t want to miss church. We’d target kids knowing that parents would follow and support something that was great for their kids. It wasn’t about attracting money, it was about attracting families. Our hearts were in the right place as less than 5% of our communities families were part of a church. It wasn’t a false Gospel, it wasn’t evil or about self, it was just a short-term strategy that worked very well at first.

    The dark side of that is that entertaining people is an ever-hungrier dragon. Our initial efforts were simple and fun. But expectations quickly swelled. It didn’t take long for us to rethink our plan… we needed bigger casts, more production money, more planning, and if we just upped our game a little bit we could attract more people. When we got to the next level, people were excited and wanted more. Within a very short time people were expecting an experience we couldn’t create. They’d watch television or go on vacation and their expectations increased as they wanted those experiences with a Jesus-twist. More money, more people, more production… this is not a model for sustainability. I don’t care if your congregation is 200 or 20,000. You simply cannot compete in a sustainable fashion with the entertainment industry.

    Your leadership can’t sustain it

    The same truism played out among the leadership. The folly of turning one area of the church into mini-Disney quickly caused unintended consequences. Within a few months I went from ministering to the hearts of people to the host of a three ring circus. I had a hard time getting into spiritual conversations. It always came around to “I loved what you guys did, what’s happening next?” It was such a time-sucker that in all reality… I was the host of a three ring circus who did the bare minimum relationally to be called a minister. The community recognition was useful, the day-to-day reality wasn’t useful.

    Among the leaders, people turned on one another when one attractional ministry got more attention or funding than another. Remember that dragon? He always needs to be fed and as he grows he gets hungrier and more demanding. And a church only has so much talent that is functional for entertainment. As expectations for better entertainment attracted new and more people– competition for resources began. Feelings were hurt. Rank pulled. Volunteers stolen. Guilt laid. Moral shrank. Frustration set in. We all wondered in our silence, “How can we spend the same amount of time and money and get a bigger and better product?” We had fed a dragon that now spit fire.

    That’s right… the church staff began thinking of worship services, kids ministries, and adult outreach as product to be perfected and sold to an audience. Before we could figure out what was happening, it all turned into one tragic game a bigger or better. The problem this model was created to solve really just made the original problem ten times worse.

    The whole time I knew we couldn’t sustain it forever. There wasn’t more money. There weren’t more people. The questions went from “what are we looking to do in the next 3-5 years?” To “what are we trying to do this year?” To “what are we doing this quarter?” To “what are we doing this month?” To “what are we doing this week?” In desperation you just get into a survival mode of… how can we get through this week? No one entered into this foreseeing this problem. But that’s how dragons go, I guess.

    Ever increasing expectations + lack of resources + staff frustrations = burnout. I wasn’t alone in feeling burnt out. All of our staff and volunteers felt it. But none of us would admit to it because we were all too busy feeding the dragon. He wanted more.

    You can’t sustain it as a model for walking with Jesus

    The model itself sounds so Christ-like when you start. We justified, “Hey, this is exactly what Jesus did. He drew a crowd, then invited them in to a relationship.” But our theology was short sighted. We forgot John 6, didn’t we? When Jesus confronts those following him with the reality that following him was going to mean they’d have to carry His burden and that in order to follow Him lont-term they’d have to eat his flesh and drink his blood… John writes... “From this time many disciples turned back and no longer followed him.”

    Within a year, the most dedicated volunteers were still following us but the majority had pulled a John 6:66 and gone home. Who could blame them? The leaders were defeated, but still had people coming– expecting to be entertained. Pride set in as we doubled down to say, our plan MUST WORK! We couldn’t admit our mistake or tell those people that ultimately our vision failed. We knew a walk with Jesus wassn’t about fun skits, silly songs, games, and great music. Ultimately, our attractional-style of ministry worked in one way and had devastating effects in another. All the staff hated what we had created. All of the staff lied to themselves that it was worth it. All of the staff openly questioned themselves, “Is this what ministry is all about?”

    A life with Jesus isn’t about making it from one event to the next. It isn’t about getting inspired by an event. Teaching people that by depending on entertainment to draw people is ultimately not the Gospel. It looks like Jesus. It smells like Jesus. But its just a shadow of the real thing. Luke documented this phenomenon in Acts 8.

    Now for some time a man named Simon had practiced sorcery in the city and amazed all the people of Samaria. He boasted that he was someone great, and all the people, both high and low, gave him their attention and exclaimed, “This man is the divine power known as the Great Power.” They followed him because he had amazed them for a long time with his magic. But when they believed Philip as he preached the good news of the kingdom of God and the name of Jesus Christ, they were baptized, both men and women. Simon himself believed and was baptized. And he followed Philip everywhere, astonished by the great signs and miracles he saw.

    I share this story as a warning to my friends in ministry— tough times make us all look for easy solutions. It’s Fall. A lot of churches are in the same position we were in when we started our attractional ministry. They have vision, they have unreached people, but right now money is tight and you think… “If we could only attract 20 more families, we’d be OK. We wouldn’t have to lay off staff.” That’s right where we were when we brought the dragon into our church.

    That dragon may be cute and cudely today– but trust me, it will breathe fire soon enough. He will eat you up, spit you out, and leave you quoting Ecclesiastes.

  • The Youth Pastors House

    3836277637_a71864988e

    Yesterday, I was riding my bike to the trolley when I spotted this beauty. While the saran wrapping of the cars is very well done, the TP job leaves a lot to be desired.

    My first thought? Hey, I wonder what church this person works at?

    Of all the church staff, the one thing that youth workers get right more often than anyone else… good  ministry happens in the home. I’d take that a step further to say, the best ministry happens in the home. It doesn’t have to be your house. But the best stuff typically happens in a house.