Tag: story

  • My Sanctuary

    Ugh. Another parking ticket. I think I already had about 10 of them. While I never intended to pay them I was still embarrassed to get ticket after ticket for parking in the women’s basketball coaches spot. She never seemed to use it anyway and the walk from the visitors lot was long. Plus, tickets were for rich kids.

    I dropped the ticket on the ground and got back into my 1978 Ford LTD Station Wagon to begin the drive home.

    It was the Winter of 1994 and I was spending a lot of time in Notre Dame’s Hesburgh Library. You might know the building as Touchdown Jesus but I know the building as my sanctuary.

    My senior year of high school was complicated.

    While I did my best to maintain a front that everything was OK, everything wasn’t OK.

    After spending my junior year in Germany with my mom I moved in with my dad for my senior year.

    My hope was to move home and resume my life. My reality was that I’d exchanged one chaotic situation with my mom for an even more chaotic situation with my dad. While his marriage to my stepmom wouldn’t end for a couple more years the volcano of their relationship erupted over and over again. It was pretty rough. I moved in, then we moved out, then we moved back in– on and on this went. I think I moved in and out of that house 7 times in 10 months.

    When we were home I tried to avoid being there as much as possible. And when we lived with grandma I tried to stay out until after she went to bed. I spent as much time as I could at school. But eventually the janitors would ask me to leave and I’d have to go somewhere else.

    Hesburgh Library was on my way home from school. It was both a logical and welcoming place for me to hang out. While I wasn’t a student no one ever asked me if I belonged. As long as I was quiet, doing homework, and didn’t break rules I knew no one would complain. I was good at blending in, knew enough about Notre Dame to fake it if I got into a conversation, and knew they weren’t going to put me in Leprechaun Jail if I got caught.

    So I’d disappear for hours into the stacks to read, research, dream, nap, and explore.

    To graduate I needed to pass gym. So I had little homework. But that didn’t mean I wasn’t learning. I’d grab a novel off the shelf or dig into an autobiography of someone I’d never heard of. They’d refer to a piece of history I wasn’t familiar with so I’d head over to the microfilm and read the New York Times from those days to find out what the author was referring to. Anything to pass the time.

    As the weeks went by I got lost in reading newspapers from the Great Depression. Over time I got pretty good at finding stuff and operating the microfilm… and then I started helping the librarian show students how to find what they were looking for. And that lead to even more time in the library “studying.” (This was a great way to meet female students, by the way.)

    At a time in my life when I didn’t feel welcome at home– or really even have a home to feel welcome in– I felt welcome in the library. More than a place I trespassed at or occasionally got a parking ticket for squatting on the women’s basketball coaches parking spot, it was a sanctuary of comfort and predictability that I desperately needed.

    Do you work with teenagers? Help them find their place of sanctuary. Don’t ever assume that because they look OK or aren’t saying they aren’t OK that everything is fine. Sometimes the best thing you can do isn’t talk… it’s help them find a place where they can just be.

  • Are they tired of your narrative?

    Most individuals, organizations, and companies underperform to their potential. Others miraculously live up to or exceed their potential.

    Why?

    Each tells a story every day and validates it with their actions. Their audience either likes that story (and repeats it) or they don’t.

    Take the example of Wal-Mart. Here’s their mission statement:

    “Wal-Mart’s mission is to help people save money so they can live better.“

    They are the largest retailer in the world. They are the largest private employer in the United States. Why do they continue to grow? Because people understand their mission and like the narrative that Wal-Mart tells. Even when Frontline did their infamous expose`, “Is Wal-Mart Good For America?” all the film did was validate the company’s narrative. Lowest prices, guaranteed.

    People like the narrative, it works for them, and it’s profitable for Wal-Mart. So they keep feeding their narrative with everything they do and their customers keep feeding their cash registers.

    A new product idea or a new narrative?

    When people struggle they tend to swing the pendulum. They drastically change things about themselves or spin their wheels creating a new initiative. Unfortunately, what they are often doing is validating a story that is spinning things further out of control.

    They take the pig that nobody wants, put some different clothes on it, and try to sell it as a different pig. But the world knows its the same stinking pig!

    Take the example of the Big 3 auto makers:

    Through the 1990s and early 2000s they made cars the market didn’t really want but was willing to buy because of brand loyalty. As market share dipped further and they ran out of working capital, a mantra went around that they needed new designs, new models, and they could engineer their way out of the problem. That just validated the story that they made cars people didn’t want.

    Their narrative became outsourcing and layoffs. They hid from their Detroit roots. And when people thought Ford, Chrysler, and GM they thought about out-of-control overhead, plant closings, and unions.

    In truth, they are making the same cars with the same people they always have. (And the same problems.) But they are telling a new story that people like. (and are repeating)

    Are people tired of your product? Are they tired of you? Or are they simply tired of your narrative?

  • The power of story

    I’m spending the next week on the road for work, capturing stories from youth workers in their context.

    Here’s Ryan’s story.

    I first heard about Ryan’s story last year. We met for lunch and than later at NYWC. I love that his story is just like real life, full of ups and downs. Full of moments of questioning and assurances.

    His story is pretty much the way God rolls. When I spent time with Ryan and Ashley last week I couldn’t help but think… “God has them right where He needs them.”

    In God’s wisdom, He likes it when his people are completely dependent on Him.

  • Your story matters

    My drive plan for next week

    Next week, I’m hitting the road and driving from San Jose to just north of Seattle. I guess there are 3 over-arching reasons I’m doing this. Two are a bit secondary and perhaps selfish, which the third is really the justification for everything else.

    1. I love a good road trip. There is something almost magical about driving across our country. If you’ve never done a multi-day drive you won’t understand that statement. My first was “Golf across America” in 2002. My last one was “Travels with Stoney” in 2008. This trip needs a name.
    2. YS is still alive. It’s not that you, my kind reader, doesn’t know that. It’s that a lot of people have an open question… “What’s going on with YS?” And this trip is aimed at answering that question. (This is what’s known as “the business justification.“) Plus, even before all of the changes, I kept begging for this because I knew there was a need to get our staff on the ground talking with youth workers out of the office.
    3. Your story matters. My first two road trips were about my story. (Travels with Stoney was a little more about our families story and our hope for a fresh start.) This trip is about the stories of youth workers. My work has put me in contact with innumerous youth workers… and collectively we have a story to tell. My premise is that as I drive and host these meet-ups I’ll hear (and capture) stories from youth workers which the community will really resonate with.

    What’s fascinating about going out to discover youth workers stories is… it’s all about discovery. I’ve got a rough sketch of who I’m going to meet, but I really don’t have a clue where this is going to go. And what makes a road trip so fun for this format of story discovery is that I probably won’t really get a thread through all of the stories until I’m done. Since I’m telling stories as I go, there’s even a great chance that you will see the thread before I will.

    Another fascinating element to telling people’s stories, one that I’m just learning to appreciate, is that power of telling a persons story to the person whose story is being told. It’s one thing to tell your own story. But it’s an entirely different thing to have someone come into your life and then to other people about you. As I’ve been scheduling my meet-ups and talking to people, I hear them question, “you want to tell my story?”

    You are story worthy.

    Your story is interesting.

    Your story is helpful to you.

    Your story is helpful to others.

    As a child of the King bought at a price, your story has unlimited value.

    “you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your body.” 1 Corinthians 6:20

  • Fear Makes You Stupid

    Yesterday morning I woke up to the news of a massive earthquake in Chile. The world seemed to hold its breath and wonder how bad the damage would be. “If a 7.0 earthquake killed 200,000+ people and flattened Port-au-Prince, Haiti– what would an earthquake 500 times stronger do?”

    Those fears and concerns were legitimate.

    Fortunately, as news reports flooded in, we later learned that while there is widespread damage and hundreds of thousands displaced– Chile was well prepared for such an emergency. In fact, it appears that Chile may be able to handle the relief efforts largely on their own. The New York Times is reporting, “Although the United States had offered aid, Chile’s government had not yet requested assistance. All international relief groups were on standby, and the International Federation of Red Crosses and Red Crescents said the Chilean Red Cross indicated that it did not need external assistance at this point.”

    Chile’s disaster was not equal to Haiti’s disaster– and as those fears began to ease and you could see the media looking for a story to scare people.

    Later in the morning, the media attention shifted from the earthquake in Chile to a tsunami the earthquake spawned. This is when the full on fear mongering went nuts.

    • Fact: 750,000 people in greater Port-au-Prince are starving and homeless while billions of dollars of aid sits on tarmacs because NGOs and governments are paralyzed.
    • Fact: The president of Haiti has said it will take 1,000 trucks 1,000 days to clear the rubble from Port-au-Prince. The muscle part of recovery hasn’t even begun.
    • Fact: 46 days after the earthquake in Haiti, starvation and disease are happening just 2 hours south of Miami by plane. Thousands of orphans are undocumented and at risk of being trafficked. Widows and elderly have no protection.
    • Fact: 2 million people in Chile were displaced as their homes were destroyed.

    And twelve hours after the Chile quake all of the news media’s attention shifted from actual news stories to a potential tsunami in Hawaii.

    Fact: Tsunami warnings had gone out for more than 4 hours all over Hawaii. There was no danger to life.

    Fact: A potential tsunami is not equal to an actual tsunami. A potential tsunami was used to cover up the real story in Haiti. (The real story is that the church is meeting people’s needs while the NGOs and governments have meetings at the airport.)

    Fact: The news was reporting on lines at Costco/Wal*Mart/Safeway, showing live video of a camera pointed at a computer screen of a Ustream.tv feed, and anchors desperately trying to convince experts that although scientific instruments were saying the tsunami was only creating a 2-3 foot wave– the wave must really be 30-50 feet.

    Fact: This was worse than Geraldo opening Al Capone’s secret vault.

    And yet every news agency was showing live video from all over the state, showing sunshine and waves, interviewing tourists on vacation– all for a natural disaster that had not even happened yet! One reporter asked a tourist, “What is the situation like up at Diamond Head?” The tourist, confused, looked at the reporter and told the truth. “It’s a party up there.” They couldn’t go to commercial fast enough.

    Something is wrong with us. The fear of a natural disaster outweighs an actual natural disaster? The fear of damaged vacation property outweighs the reality of millions of people’s homes in Chile and Haiti? The fear that a tsunami might hit outweighs the reality that a significant disaster has actually happened.

    Fear makes us stupid.

    When will we recognize that fear is our god? When will we stop living in fear? When will we be motivated by compassion that overcomes fear?

  • Americans Love to Hate Winners

    celebrity-plotline

    We have a fascination with the little guy. Foundational to American storytelling is the little guy overcoming adversity to make it big. Americans love happy endings. The movie credits roll when Rocky raises his fists to the sky. Or when the young lawyer wins the big case against the mean corporation. Or when the nerdy sales guy finally marries the hot receptionist.

    A storyline of a champion successfully defending his place in the world would never make it on TV. You’d never see a TV drama about a big law firm protecting their big clients assetts in a positive light. It would be offensive to our American storyline to celebrate the big guy keeping the little guy down. Our culture isn’t wired to believe that is a valid storyline.

    We, collectively, hate the perennial winner. When the Chicago Bulls finally won the NBA Finals we celebrated with Michael Jordan. But when they won 3 in a row that seemed a bit much and everyone was fine with MJ going to play baseball for a few years. We were sick of his winning ways. The good guy needed to go wear a black baseball hat for a while… so we could welcome him back as he overcame being down to come to the top one more time.

    We love the process of becoming a winner. But actual winners become the enemy in about two seconds.

    This plays out painfully in politics. Collectively, we loved Bill Clinton as president. Then we hated him. We loathed his sleazy ways and couldn’t wait for him to leave office. People loved George W. Bush. It’s almost embarrassing to say that publicly– but the people loved Bush! Then they hated him. As time wore on everyone looked forward to him leaving office. Not even Republican nominees for his office wanted him at their events in the last year of his presidency. And now the tides are turning against Barack Obama. Just 12 months ago more than 60% of Americans chanted “Yes We Can” as they cast their ballot. Many cried along with the thousands at Grant Park when Obama won. Many lined up for days to proclaim his innaguration as the greatest day in our lifetime. But now he’s not the little guy, is he? The little guy has become the man and there is something in our collective DNA that must learn to loathe him.

    It’s a little surreal when you look at it like that, isn’t it? Maybe its just hip to hate the President?

    Sports? Same thing.

    Celebrity? Same thing.

    Business? Same thing.

    Churches? Same thing.

    Pretty much anyone or any thing which rises from obscurity to some notoriety is immediately loathed once they make it to the top. People hate Microsoft. They hate Dell. They hate AT&T. They hate the Yankees. They hate CNN. They hate Rick Warren. They hate Miley Cyrus.

    I don’t know about you. But I’m ready for a new storyline in our culture. I’m sick of the hatred. I’m bored with making celebrities awesome in order to just tear them down. The plot is disgusting to me.

    How about we start celebrating the everyday champions? The ones who never gain notoriety for coaching a freshmen basketball team. Is it possible for our culture to celebrate the Jack & Diane’s of the world? How about celebrating longevity? How about focusing on long term success instead of a parabola of success?

    Of course not. We love creating superstars for the sole purpose of destroying them far too much.

  • My Social Media Event Toolbox

    social-media-toolbox

    Tonight I am packing for NYWC and I thought it’d be cool to capture a gear list. People see me running around and doing a lot of stuff, here is the equipment that makes it all happen.

    – Panasonic HD video camera (podcast footage)

    – Panasonic hand held camcorder (I take 2 of these, use them for daily recap videos)

    – Flip camera (for quick stuff I take from Big Room to Facebook, love it)

    – iPhone (all around communication device. Digital camera, calendar, Twitter machine, Facebook status updates, Mobile Flickr posts)

    – Nikon D60 (only one is pictured but I take two, plus about five 4 gig SD cards. Light and reliable, these are workhorse cameras for me)

    – Lenses (Standard lens, 300 for close-ups and Big Room stuff, wide angle to capture the bigness of some stuff)

    – Camera bag (You won’t see me without this at NYWC. It carries a lot of gear and lenses)

    – Wireless mics (for big video camera)

    – Mixer (for postgame show)

    – Portable hard drive (Hey, I capture a lot of media!)

    – Macbook Pro (Onsite I use web apps mostly, but I also use CS4, Final Cut, iMovie, iPhoto)

    – iPod headphones (Carry 2 sets, they are cheap so if I lose them its no big deal)

    – Media card reader (Carry 2 of these, you never know when someone will hand you a weird media card)

    – Mac display adapters (Got one of each variety– I’m handy like that for my friends)

    – Power cables galore (Convention handbook says you will always find me near an electrical outlet, it’s true! While I pictured one of everything I actually bring one for my bag and one for my room of almost every cable I use)

    – USB, Firewire, RCA, Minijack cables (I bring about 10 varieties, cheaper to carry them than buy them)

    – Business cards (Shoot video/pictures with someone, hand ’em a card)

    – Batteries (Mostly 9v and AA, this picture reminds me I need to stock up on AA)

    – Extra battery packs (I have a spare battery for everything, except my Macbook which lasts exceptionally long)

    There’s actually a lot not pictured here that I use a lot, as well. But this is the stuff I carry with me almost all the time. In addition to this I have lighting, tripods, more electrical stuff… and three full time volunteers!

    Seem excessive? 4 video cameras, 3 digital cameras, enough microphones to hold a press conference… Spend a couple hours with me and you’ll see that I use it all. I work my gear like my golf bag. I play ’em all.

  • Podcasts for Preachers

    podcasts-for-preachers

    Since April, I’ve been a regular commuter using San Diego’s excellent public transit system. Essentially, it takes me an hour to get to work and I use this as me time. While walking, riding my bike, standing on the platform, or riding the trolley I am typically listening to music or podcasts.

    My weekly repertoire includes exactly zero “Christian” podcasts. (Unless you count my own!) What I’ve found that I enjoy listening to most are shows that tell stories really, really well. The other day it hit me that some of the shows I listen to every week would actually be excellent to listen to for those who craft messages each week.

    So, here’s my list of shows I’d recommend preachers listen to in order to sharpen their delivery: (add you own in the comments)

    1. This American Life. I’ve joked around in saying that Ira Glass is the best preacher in America. Clearly, Ira is not a pastor– he’s Jewish. But TAL regularly tells the best stories out there. The pace, the clarity, the way that the commentators often get out of the way and allow the subject to speak. If you are serious about crafting an oral story… you need to list to this show.

    2. 60 Minutes: Listen to the audio version of this show. (Available on iTunes) This show is always good on TV, but there is something about listening to it as audio only that makes it better. I love the manner in which they track a story. Almost every story uses the same pattern but it never gets old. Also, I love how they tease the stories up front to keep the listening intruiged. The worst part of the show is Andy Rooney. But just hear him as the old man who grabs your hand every week and annoys you.

    3. The Moth: I love this show for two reasons. First, it’s first person stories. Second, it’s a single story per episode. These are stories told live on their mainstage in LA or New York. If you like to integrate testimony into your messages, this will help you.

    4. This I Believe: More stories told in the first person. This concept has been around for decades and has captured the core beliefs about famous people, everyday people, and people in-between for that entire time. Essentially, people write an essay about something they believe to be true and then perform it in their own voice.

    5. TEDtalks: If you had 18 minutes to present your life’s work, what would you say? This is the premise of TED.  This is like the Willow Creek Leadership Conference for everyone else. Each week you’ll see a well-known person make the presentation of their life.

    What would you add to this list?

    I think evangelicals are just coming back to the concept of story. For whatever reason we’ve gotten into a habit that preaching ought to be a lecture instead of a story. But with our cultures fascination of story, many leaders are seeing that in order to preach into people’s lives they have to be a better storyteller.

  • Tammy

    The other day I was driving our truck on the way to pick up Kristen from work. Megan and Paul were in a mood and bickering in the backseat. Among other things Megan was kicking the front seat, annoying my passenger while laughing when I told her to stop. Dave, our house guest, was being good in the front with me.

    In a moment of sheer evil I piped up over the bickering and told the kids a story. “Hey guys, did daddy ever tell you about our other daughter?” Dead silence filled the car. “Yeah, she came before you Megan. (7 years old) One day we were driving along and she was being naughty. She wouldn’t stop kicking mommy’s seat and she wouldn’t listen to daddy when he told her to stop. So daddy stopped the car and left her on the side of the road. Then we had you two. You wouldn’t want to be like Tammy, would you?”

    There are a few moments in parenting when you’re certain you’ve said something that your kids will spend their twenties telling a counselor about. This was one of them.

    Thankfully Megan saw right through it. So did Paul. (5 years old.) Megan said, “Daddy, that’s not true. You’re just trying to get us to stop being bad.” Paul chimed in, “Tammy isn’t real.” [pause] “Is she?”

    Laughter filled the cab and Dave exhaled loudly. He couldn’t believe I’d made up such a horrible tale!

    I think Tammy may be around for a while too. Tonight, as Kristen was putting the kids to bed and reading about Joseph, Megan had an aha moment. “So Joseph was kind of like Tammy, right? An annoying member of the family that everyone wanted to get rid of?” Kristen somehow kept it together and agreed with her.

    Then, as Kristen climbed out of Megan’s bed, my little girl had to get the last word.

    Megan: “Why did Tammy cross the highway?”

    Mom: “I don’t know, why?”

    Megan: “To get to the other side after daddy left her.”

    I never claimed to be parent of the year.

  • I Am Second

    Talk about a site you need to check out. I am second may be the prettiest, most powerful site on the internet.

    What is it? It’s an online ministry designed around a powerful thought: If Jesus is number one in my life that means I am second.

    How does it work? There’s not a lot to the site. Very simple navigation takes you to amazing stories from some famous people and some not-so-famous people. I’m telling you, the stories are amazing.

    Who is behind it? It’s so incredibly done I have a hard time thinking it’s independently financed. So I haven’t figured out if there is a bigger organization behind it. But, thanks to twitter, I was able to find a couple of people who worked on the project.

    Trey Hill Photography

    Ditore Mayo Entertainment

    Apparently there are some TV spots and billboards that are drawing attention to this project. Very cool stuff. I love seeing sites that represent the Gospel message so well. Fantastic combination of message, beauty, and wonderful site navigation.

    Update: I got an email from someone involved with the project who provided me a link to the new I Am Second blog. Also, he shared an interesting LA Times story about American Idol Jason Castro’s faith. Jason’s story is also featured at I Am Second.