Beginning Again After Reflection
Having just taken a 2-week break from my daily blogging routine, I’m coming back at the task fresh from some time of reflection.
Ultimately, my reasons for writing this blog haven’t changed from when I started it in 2004. Back then I said I was starting this blog, “Mostly as a way to share with myself, just what is going on.”
Historically, my blog is at it’s best when I’m writing about my journey. And, speaking just for myself, I feel worst about it when I try to use it for some other purpose.
The Blog I Want to Read
The other day my mind racing with a mix of daily details and dreams for the year to come. My mind latched onto a thread and ran with it. I started to wonder about a blog that I’d wake up to read every day. I asked myself, “What would be a blog I’d actually pay to subscribe to?”
The answer was clear: For me, I’d like to read a blog from leaders about what’s really going on. All the highs and lows of leading people/organizations/movements. Sure, I’d like to hear stories of triumph. But I’d really like to read stories of the messy reality. Self-doubts. Social wrangling. Stupidities gravitational pull. Family complications. Staff issues. Obstacles. Crap.
If leaders wrote about that stuff– I’d pay for that. When I think about it, that’s why I love Mark Cuban’s blog. He’s got enough money to not feel the need to constantly put his best foot forward. He can put his raw thoughts forward because he doesn’t have to care what others think about him. And the result? Butter-mixed-with-honey-on-white-bread-toast.
When a leader constantly puts on a front, placing his best foot forward with some wise axioms, I learn something.
When a leader bravely shares the mess, placing his worst foot forward*, through fear and overcoming the desire to put a bow on it, I learn a ton.
Affirming My Posture
I’ve written long enough to know the value of posture. Some take the posture of authority, positioning themselves as the experts. Others posture themselves as Gomer Pyle, bumbling along from one calamity to the next while readers giggle at their gaffe’s. Some writers are pretty, the way they craft their words is far more powerful than the words they craft.
I’ve flirted, and will continue to flirt, with all of those postures. I’ve never been good at following rules– especially my own.
But I want to affirm an intentional posture I intend to take going forward. I’m going to write more from a posture of weakness than a posture of strength.
Yes– and of course– I’m going to celebrate triumph. In fact, last year was an amazingly triumphant year. And we have plans for 2013 to be even more so.
But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.
*This concept of “the worst foot forward” comes from Scott Rubin’s Soapbox Rant at last years Middle School Ministry Campference. Solid gold, Scott.