A couple weeks back I wrote about our free retreat. I just got back. It was a quick, but profitable time.
I’m more convinced than ever that when you are good news first, not only will the Good News be received, but the news of Good News will spread like wild fire as a result.
Last night the whole group shared some intimate details of our story. At the core we found a deep need for our Heavenly Father to step in and our desperate need for our community to become our family.
There is great hope, there. To have a heavenly Father that literally can’t betray you, leave you, and is bound to never forsake you is a promise too important to miss.
Half of my brain is thinking, “Wow, we’ve stumbled on a great way to minister to hurting teenagers.” But the other half of me is thinking, “Wow, we’ve stumbled on an amazing way to minister to every teenager.”
Our culture is wounded and destructive. But praise be to God that these wounded students cry out to God from Genesis 50:20, “You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives.”
Disorganized. Uncommitted. Unreliable. Unprepared. Unprofessional. Immature. Hot-headed. Last in, first out. One-dimensional. Sloppy.
Youth pastors are disposable.
These are the words used to describe our profession by outsiders.
Youth ministry needs a makeover. While that makeover may need to include some changes in strategy this is really a makeover of something far more important than how we look.
If this were a marketing issue some would argue that we need to think about re-branding our profession. (Kind of like airline stewardesses became flight attendants.) You are already seeing some people try to shift their verbiage to say, “I’m a student pastor.” But that’s not the kind of makeover I’m suggesting.
I don’t think we need to change the name of our profession as it serves us well. Ultimately, this isn’t a marketing problem.
We need a new identity.
See, the list of things I posted above aren’t really true for most youth workers I’ve met. And while you could throw up your hands and claim that a small number of people are giving us a bad name I don’t think that this is the problem, either.
But let’s be honest for a minute. There really is a little bit of truth in all of us within those descriptions. Just like there is probably the same amount of truth in that with each person on the planet.
What I mean by “we need a new identity” is that we need to think of ourselves differently.
As I engage with oodles of youth workers each year I’m a little bit disappointed how the things above are actually how many in youth ministry think of themselves and are even proud of it. There’s a certain arrogance in saying things like, “Yeah, I don’t dress like a normal 29 year old.” Or “Of course I was late, I’m the youth pastor.”
The stereotype we have created for ourselves, created our persona around, and even forms the identity of our community doesn’t accurately reflect the work that we do or the work professional youth workers do.
We’ve type casted ourselves and it is killing us from the inside out.
This is a thinking issue more than it is a reality issue. We in youth ministry need to start thinking of ourselves differently. We need to apply some sober judgement of ourselves and think about ourselves and our ministry in more positive ways.
Most youth workers are hard working, loyal, loving, thoughtful, amazing people. In fact, most of the people I know who work at churches and parachurches are actually inspiring to be around.
There is a difference between not taking yourself too seriously and not being taken seriously. There’s an important distinction between having a fun-loving attitude and loving to be made fun of. And there’s a big difference between being uncomfortable with the respect people naturally give pastors and feeling comfortable with a certain amount of disrespect.
It’s my prayer that those who call youth ministry a profession would aspire to a new level of sophistication. I hope that we shed our whiney exterior and instead identify ourselves as faithful, creative, passionate servants willing to do whatever it takes to reach this generation with the Good News of Jesus Christ.
A year ago today the sale of Youth Specialties from Zondervan to YouthWorks became official. On December 16th, 2009 I was on burning bush patrol. My prayer for wisdom was simple: “God, make it clear what I’m supposed to do.”
As I went to the office that day– I was almost giddy to see the day come. Not because I knew something no one else did and not because I was particularly excited about the deal actually closing and what that could mean. It was mostly that the staff was exhausted from waiting. I was firmly in that camp. I needed the deal to be done so I could move on with my life.
A coyote wandered our office parking lot as we waited for the HR people to arrive from Zondervan. It was an ironic and ominous sign. In my state of nervousness and exhaustion the scavengers arrival was infinitely amusing.
Walking into that day I had four completely different action plans. The circumstances had forced me to build scenarios in which only one had me staying on at the new Youth Specialties. (I’m a husband and dad… of course I had plan B, C, and D.)
For a person who had always carefully planned out his career path– this day was one of those big and obvious turning points.
I don’t want to go back to that day! Both in memory and metephorically.
Yes, it feels like a year ago.
This week, the San Diego staff of Youth Specialties has been in Minneapolis for a staff retreat called, “Fuse.” (Since it’s about 8 degrees outside I think it should be called “Freeze.”) In some ways it feels like I’m still trying to get to know the YouthWorks staff. My hope this week has been to get past just trying to know everyone’s names and get to the point where I could appreciate what role each person fills.
A year ago I knew a little about what YouthWorks was about and a few things about what they do. A year later I think I’m finally starting to use the word “we” instead of “they.”
This Fall at our National Youth Workers Convention I got asked the same question over and over again. “So, how is the whole YouthWorks things going?” Here’s the four things I tried to communicate.
YS is still YS. While our YouthWorks co-workers have worked hard to understand us– they’ve not sought to change our culture. In fact, if you sense ways in which we’ve changed… please let me know. We are working hard to stay true to our unique place in the church.
Tic Long is where he belongs. There’s no other way to say it. I don’t think my first point would be valid without his leadership. The last 12 months have been a blast– largely because YS has been able to stay YS.
YS is moving forward. We are going to continue to morph and change just like we always have. I’m really excited about YS Palooza— which we are really hoping is our next big thing. And if it isn’t we’ll just have to come up with something else.
The YouthWorks staff are great people to work with. All through the acquisition phase last year we only got to hear about YouthWorks because we weren’t allowed to talk to them. (Weird corporate legal move, there.) My friends who met with them kept saying the same thing over and over again, “They are good people.” A year later… that’s a great way to describe them. Our staff has been well taken care of. We have generous benefits, we get tons of support, on and on. Most importantly, YouthWorks is a ministry and not a business. YS has always been a ministry that did business. It’s fun to be back at that.
It’s no surprise that I’m emotional today. It’s a great anniversary.
We’ve come a long way. And it’s great to point to December 16th, 2009 and say “I don’t ever want to go back to that place ever again.”
Everywhere I’ve done youth ministry I’ve met undocumented students. (Chicago, Northern California, Suburban Detroit, and here in City Heights)
But it wasn’t until I started doing youth ministry here in City Heights that I truly started to understand the difficulty they had in furthering their education and starting their own American Dream.
Think of the uphill battle a student in our neighborhood climbs towards adulthood. Their parents brought them here when they were very young. They were put into an elementary school where they didn’t speak the language. But they’ve overcome obstacles beyond language. A lack of health care, parents with unstable jobs, parents who struggled with the stress of starting a new life in a new culture, (the divorce rate is high) rough schools, the temptation of gangs, the reality of substance abuse, the allure of teenage pregnancy, few meaningful extra-curricular activities, on and on.
And despite everything– these students have succeeded by every measurement tool. tudents with high GPAs, excellent standardized test scores, held offices in their class, been star athletes… the top of their class.
Born in quick sand sucking them towards a failure no one would blame them for. They have struggled, clawed, and fought their way through high school. They are living proof that hard work pays off.
But, as it stands now, the American Dream ends there for all but a few.
As they reach graduation, a waypoint on their way to what they can become, they are faced with a new struggle they might not be able to overcome: Their immigration status prevents them from many academic/financial aid opportunities they would otherwise qualify for. Likewise, their immigration status prevents them from another viable option towards a career in the military.
To put that in perspective in my neighborhood: Future community leaders hit a roadblock towards education and military service and are left with few options towards a bright future.
What does this have to do with youth ministry?
The young adults in that video could just as easily be students in our youth group. And, in all reality, there’s a very good chance that there are students in your group facing the exact same problem. Our ministry isn’t just about preaching Good News, it’s about bringing good news to the neighborhood. See, this has everything to do with youth ministry here in San Diego and around the country!
Photo from Politico (http://www.politico.com/news/stories/1110/45243.html)
That’s where the DREAM Act comes in. Without going into a comprehensive immigration reform and all of its political pitfalls, it helps bridge a gap immediately that most people agree needs to get fixed.
Purpose
The purpose of the Development, Relief and Education of Alien Minors Act, also called the DREAM Act, is to help those individuals who meet certain requirements, have an opportunity to enlist in the military or go to college and have a path to citizenship which they otherwise would not have without this legislation. Supporters of the DREAM Act believe it is vital not only to the people who would benefit from it, but also the United States as a whole. It would give an opportunity to undocumented immigrant students who have been living in the U.S. since they were young, a chance to contribute back to the country that has given so much to them and a chance to utilize their hard earned education and talents.
Would I qualify?
The following is a list of specific requirements one would need in order to qualify for the current version of the DREAM Act.
Must have entered the United States before the age of 16 (i.e. 15 and younger)
Must have been present in the United States for at least five (5) consecutive years prior to enactment of the bill
Must have graduated from a United States high school, or have obtained a GED, or have been accepted into an institution of higher education (i.e. college/university)
Must be between the ages of 12 and 35at the time of application
For nearly 10 years the Dream Act has taken on many forms as it’s proponents have tried to get the law to pass through both the House and Senate. It has stalled or was killed every time.
But in my world this is a social justice issue. These students have done everything right and the only country they’ve ever known prohibits them from pursuing their dreams. They have looked adversity in the eye and climbed past it’s sneering, snarling teeth and overcome everything to become the embodiment of success our country adores.
It’s time that this legislation passes and they are allowed to move on.
That’s the goal of our high school ministries Winter retreat.
I’m not talking about a cash neutral event to the youth budget. I’m talking about… we’ve got no money so we need to do this retreat for free. We don’t have budget money and our students literally have no cash to offset expenses.
Here’s what we’re trying to do:
Create a memorable, kinetic, outside-of-our-neighborhood, experience with our high school group. We need this retreat. It’ll be good for the students and it’ll be good for the group.
Here’s how we’re going to do it
Beg: I’m not too proud to beg. Especially when it comes to the faith development of the students in our ministry. Fortunately, when it came to location, I didn’t even have to beg. I just asked a Kingdom-minded friend if we could crash his youth building for 30 hours. When I visited Danny Long earlier this fall and saw his facilities (about 30 minutes from City Heights, but far enough into East County to feel completely separate from the urban environment.) I asked if it might be a possibility to use his building for a retreat. Without flinching he was happy to do it.
Next up, Kathy (our youth pastor) asked her cousin to lead worship. Done. Teaching? I’m pretty sure we’ll split those duties. Now we’re out begging for folks to pick up the tab on our Costco run for food for the retreat.
All that’s left is to beg off some programming elements. One of the tricks I learned from retreat-guru Lars Rood [author of an upcoming YS book on doing ministry for cost-neutral or free] was to not skimp on experience. So we are officially on the lookout to bring something to this retreat that our students from City Heights completely unexpected. (Horseback riding, sledding, paintball, or something along those lines.)
Borrow: We’re going to borrow ideas. Darn near all of them. Why spend all the time thinking up stuff when we can take things people are already offering for free and tweak them to work in our ministry/ From activity ideas to theme to kitchen appliances.
Steal: OK, we’re not going to steal anything. But we are stealing victory from the enemy by doing something we can’t afford for free. We might not be a resource rich ministry, but we are a resourceful group who aren’t ashamed to rely on the Kingdom.
Have you ever done a ministry event like this? If so, leave a comment and share your idea. [So I can steal it.]
For the past 2.5 years my job has shifted from being a youth pastor to being a cheerleader, encourager, and fan of youth workers around the country.
And, not surprisingly, I’ve bumped into a lot of youth workers with a shared story. Careers flopping. Getting fired. Financial struggles. And marriages crumbing.
As you’d expect during a down economy (mixed with a season of re-thinking ministry strategies) there are a whole lot of people in full-time youth ministry who aren’t emotionally healthy.
But I’ve also gotten to know some pretty happy and satisfied youth workers. They face the exact same struggles in youth ministry but they seem to have figured out how to manage it. (For lack of a better term)
Rather than share what I think some of the problems are… I thought it would be more useful to share a couple of things that I see, universally, that emotionally healthy youth pastors have.
Two hallmarks of an emotionally healthy youth pastor
Low ownership of the youth ministry program. They tend to have Sunday school (even if they don’t teach it) and a mid-week program with some events/camps/retreats along the way. They seem less focused on being on the leading edge and more focused on doing what they are good at. They see their role as the leader of the program more than they define themselves as the leader of the program. It’s a profession and they can turn it on and turn it off. It’s not a “it’s just a job” mentality. It’s bigger than that as its a healthy acceptance of their role in students lives.
Belonging to adult community.This is the bigger of the two. We are made for community. Healthy youth workers have more than just a couple of friends they see occasionally. They have community. They have a group of people in their life that don’t see them as the youth pastor but as just another knucklehead in a group of friends. This is being a part of a softball league or a fellowship of star trek geeks or even joining a small group from a church across town.
The interesting thing about these two hallmarks is that they are completely within the control of the youth pastor. These are things you can actually do and change relatively easily. You don’t even have to tell anyone. You don’t have to preach about it. You can just do it.
If you are starting to feel like youth ministry isn’t for you. Or if you are thinking that you aren’t really built to do this for the long haul. I’d suggest looking at these two things, first.
A parent affirming a youth pastor by saying, “My kids aren’t your target audience. Reach the lost.”
What would happen if parents stepped into their role and discipled their teenage children, and at the same time affirmed the church’s youth pastor by saying, “My kids aren’t your target audience. Reach the lost.”
Game changer.
G-A-M-E-C-H-A-N-G-E-R
The reason so many youth workers feel like babysitters or cruise directors is that they are regarded as such by many people in the pews. (And sadly, by their bosses and governing boards who see them as a way to attract or keep parents of teenagers.) The attitude is… “Well, we give money to the church which funds this persons salary and the program they run so we should allow the expert to pour into my kid and I’ll just step back, get the most for my money.”
This makes some logical sense because its visible. But it is missing the point, missiologically and ecclesiologically.
Modern church youth ministry, as a movement, sprung out of parachurch ministries like Young Life and Youth for Christ in the 1950s-1960s who stepped up to answer the call the church would not… reach lost teenagers. It was primarily a method of evangelism. And it operated well outside of the walls of a church because the methods often used to get students interested in the Gospel freaked churchgoing adults out.
In the 1960s and 1970s churches woke up a bit and started hiring youth workers of their own. (Lots were former YFC and Young Life staff) And all of a sudden the vocation of youth pastor started to shift from something that looked like a missionary to something that looked like a pastor.
As things have morphed over the years many youth ministries focus has shifted from non-church teenagers to almost entirely church kids. Youth ministry has gone from being mostly about evangelism to mostly being about discipling church kids with an evangelism strategy which boils down to, “Bring a friend.”
That’s a bad thing! And as I’ve said over and over again… we’re reaching a decreasing amount of the population with this strategy. Some try to dismiss me by claiming I’m just deconstructing. I’m not deconstructing, I’m calling the church to recognize her strategic failure and change!
Personal Example
I’ve always known this to be true. (That my churches job wasn’t to reach my kids, but to reach the lost.) But I suppose economic realities and race make it obvious enough for my dense mind to notice now that we go to a mission-styled church.
I don’t want my church reaching my kids. If I sit in on my churches kids ministry program and it is targeted at my kids I know something is wrong. Why? We’re a mission church in a neighborhood where 75% of the people don’t speak English in their home and even more are not from the U.S.A..
My kids aren’t the reason my staff raises support! I know this and I celebrate it. I’m pleased that my tithe doesn’t help create a ministry paradigm designed to disciple my kids. Why? That’s my job!
Their job is to reach the neighborhood!
Why is acknowledging this important?
It changes my attitude from entitlement to supporting the mission of the church.
It clarifies expectations.
Your Role as Parents
If you are like me, a Christian parent, your role is vital. Deuteronomy 6 is abundantly clear. A life with Jesus isn’t reserved for the temple. You’re to talk about God in all that you do, everywhere you go, and in your own home. You are to impress on your children that your faith is real. If you want your kids to believe in God it is up to you. If you leave it to your church to do you have failed as a parent. (If your church is telling you it is their job tell them they are wrong, they need to hear it.)
Your tithe is an offering to God not a ticket to entitlement to church programs. While it is our role to oversee and make sure that the church is not misappropriating funds– It is hardly an offering to God if it has strings attached to it which stipulate that the church will create programs to entertain and disciple your children.
Imagine
Imagine the freedom it would create to your church staff if you uttered this simple phrase, “My kids aren’t your target audience. Reach the lost.”
I want to encourage youth workers to watch this video twice. Watch it the first time with your adult glasses on. Get annoyed that there are fireworks shooting out of her chest or two boys kissing or even that a girl strips down and jumps in a pool.
Those are the things you are trained to see as an adult.
The second time, put on the glasses of a high school student. Remember what it was like to be one of the people portrayed in the video. Feeling out of sorts. Feeling unpopular. Feeling isolated from the world you wanted to be a part of.
Perhaps now you can see why this message is so powerful? (More than 500,000 views in 24 hours!) Perhaps, just perhaps, Katy Perry is preaching a message you’d also like to get across?
Maybe she’s a prophetess to a generation? (And doing it outside of being a part of the church? Gasp.)
Perhaps we need to learn that her use of art and symbolism to communicate to students is something we need to think about way more than just the spoken word? Perhaps we need to continue to foster ministries that embrace and empower students to express themselves and feel safe? Perhaps we need to celebrate when students break free of peer pressure that’s keeping them down or isolating them and dance with them as they embrace freedom? Maybe the message of this video could be a halfway point to talking about freedom in Christ?
When I see people in youth ministry looking down on the powerful messages the media is portraying, I get frustrated in the realization that the church continues to perpetrate the same old lie. “If it isn’t our message shared in our way, it must be bad.” (This is a closed theory, like I talked about here.)
And I wonder when we’ll embrace openness and acknowledge that our message is true, and can be open, expressed in ways we don’t have to approve of and still be truth?
It is true. Journey Community Church senior high pastor and NYWC presenter, Brian Berry, hates boobies.
At least, I know for a fact he hates the “I love boobies” bracelets which are all the rage these days with high school students. I’ve heard his rant about them a few times in person, so I was glad he finally blogged about it so I could use this sensationalistic blog title– I’ve been dying to use it:
I HATE THE “I LOVE BOOBIES” BRACELETS!!!
I hate them.
I’ve pulled them off 10 year-old boys on my soccer teams, called out guys in our high school program for wearing them, and questioned girls who walk proudly with them on- the latest of which was earlier today.
—
NO, IT’S NOT ABOUT BREAST CANCER.
Wake up!
No 16 year-old dude is wearing a bracelet that says, “I love boobies” because his mom has breast cancer. That guy didn’t do the breast cancer walk or raise money for breast cancer awareness and if you ask him to give you $10 to fight cancer and skip the bracelet, you’d raise no money. He will happily check your breasts for suspicious lumps however.
My grandma lost one of her breasts to cancer. She was a breast cancer survivor. We constantly teased her for leaving her foam “replacement” boob everywhere. “Grandma you left your boob in the kitchen again”. I can’t imagine in a million years wearing a bracelet that says, “I love boobies” around my grandma who only had one. Maybe I should have bought her one that says, “I love boob”.
I was in vegas this summer for 5 hours on our way to Idaho and asked this teen guy if I could take his pic in circus circus. Read the location as an intentional pun on this stupid pic.
Photo courtesy of Brian Berry
Look… at least he has one that really says it… “I love your boobies”
He has a point. Certainly, they are all over the place and the people raising money are clearly using the word boobies to get boys to buy bracelets which allegedly help raise money for breast cancer research.
I think this is worth talking about with our students.
I’m pretty sure that young men and boys just love boobies and enjoy the opportunity to have a reason to declare it publicly.
Plus, the word “boobies” is fun to say. Just ask my 7 year old.
That post resonated with me because a lot of people in my life are unhappy because they don’t want to be happy. They seem to have a co-dependency with angst. And they tend to take it out on me because I’m a generally happy person.
Here’s a couple of my favorite parts of the list:
No.10 – Having a short memory
Are you one to hold grudges? Do you need the jaws of life to pry forgiveness out of you? Well, don’t expect these attributes to contribute to your happiness or to your overall health for that matter. This ability to forgive and forget, to go with the flow, is frequently cited by researchers of centenarians as being a key factor in their ability to live to see their 100th birthday.
No.5 – Developing a skill
According to psychology professor Dr. Timothy A. Pychyl, the route to happiness is simple enough, “Live it, don’t buy it.” This is especially relevant in the modern world, where instant gratification can be purchased — but only to a point, before it hits a wall.
He quotes a professional base jumper, who says, “You’ve got to have the passion to do your time. If you haven’t done the time, you just can’t get there.” He goes on to argue that only by paying one’s dues through time, effort, devotion, and experience can we, “develop the rich experiences that make life meaningful.”
No.1 – Liking yourself
Liking oneself is arguably the principal characteristic of happy people. It’s been revealed in study after study after study: happy people like themselves. They think they’re pretty great people. They have high self-esteem, meaning they think highly of their own intelligence, they consider themselves to have strong ethical standards and to have far fewer prejudices than others.
If I could be so bold to add one to the list, for youth workers, it would be:
No.11 – Embrace your role as second fiddle
Being satisfied in your ministry role will mean not being the most important person on your church staff. Ultimately, your role is to elevate the overall ministry of the church. When the student ministry is successful it compliments the overall mission of the congregation. The position of second fiddle is nothing to be ashamed of as it often earns many of the perks of the person in charge, but with little of the pressure of being the star. Conversely, the least satisfied youth workers tend to carry an attitude of, “I don’t play second fiddle to nobody, I’m a leader!” This disconnect between their role in the organization and where they see their role leads to dissatisfaction and unhappiness.
What do you think? Is a key to happiness in youth ministry being satisfied in your role that you’ll never be the star?
