• The scary place we’re at and how we turn it around

    The scary place we’re at and how we turn it around

    This afternoon a group of outsiders are coming to San Diego to attempt to disrupt the San Diego Unified School Districts board meeting as the district debates implementing a vaccine mandate for the prevention of COVID-19 among students 12 and up.

    This debate isn’t controversial or out of context in the least. The district already has in place other vaccine mandates, most recently a mandate that all children have the MMR vaccine prior to entering kindergarten, a state law which stopped repeated outbreaks of measles in their tracks less than 5 years ago.

    Of course, people have the right to protest and free speech. These are enshrined in our constitution. And people have freedom of movement to come to those protests from other areas.

    But our society has seemed to forget that this isn’t where those freedoms end. While you can say and think what you want, you don’t get to do what you want all the time. And, if while expressing your freedom of speech and your speech is wrong… you should also be confronted for being wrong. And if you go too far in expressing your free speech by say, preventing others to that same right, intimidating or threatening people who oppose your view, or are otherwise being antisocial while you express your viewpoint, you should be held accountable for those actions as well.

    Freedom of speech has constitutional limits. And freedom of speech does not equal freedom to create chaos or obstruct public meetings. As those who participated in the January 6th attack on our democracy have learned, you do have a freedom to attend a protest, but you do not have the freedom to kick down the doors to a public meeting and disrupt government without consequences.

    It’s Deeper Than That

    My concern for our society lies not so much with the extremist behavior but in the underlying lack of dialog in our communities which, left to fester, boil up towards extremism.

    We live a society that just doesn’t talk to people face-to-face very much anymore. And we humans need that face-to-face interaction.

    We find it so much easier to just huddle with people who are like us, who think like us, who like the same things that we do, and the net consequence is that there is no moderation. If I put my so-called “social media expert” hat back on for a second, this is exactly what the algorithms do in social media. The math doesn’t care about the sociological impact of doing this. All the algorithm wants is for you to spend more time on TikTok or Instagram so it keeps showing you things you like based on other things you like, which pushes you further and further into specialized buckets of content 100% customized for you. That’s why you see people doing things in public that are on TikTok and not understanding how weird they look. In their minds, “literally everyone is doing the Taco Bell challenge.”

    But you do this in your community, as well.

    You have 5-6 neighbors whose property touches your property. Chances are good that you know the names of 3-4 of them, maybe you even know them well enough where you hang out occasionally. Realistically you chitchat with a couple of them from time to time.

    But you have a couple other neighbors whom you don’t talk to because of something that’s happened in the past. Maybe they rev their motorcycle’s engine early in the morning and you find that annoying. Or maybe they had one too many Hillary Clinton signs for just a little bit too long in 2016 and you didn’t like that. Or maybe they’ve got chickens and you don’t like hearing their noises. (That’s self-deprecating humor for those who don’t know.)

    So what do you do? You ignore them. And that’s the worst possible thing you could do. When you ignore them your view of them naturally gets worse over time and whatever their viewpoint is that’s bothering you gets more pointed because it’s been unchecked.

    I believe our society is drifting into extremes not because of the impact of social media but because neighbors don’t talk to neighbors.

    Monsters, Inc (2001)

    Monsters, Inc

    You’ve seen the movie Monsters, Inc right?

    The entire premise of the movie was that our fears generate the power which fuels the world. (Whoa, I know some of you need to think about that for a second… go back and watch it!)

    And the secondary premise is that once we get to know our fears they aren’t that scary and have less power over us. (Double whoa!)

    Right now, fear has all the power in our society. Fear of disease, fear of controls, fears we’re all going to go bankrupt, fears the country is going to fall apart.

    But you and I can be part of making a difference in our communities by doing the one thing we might fear the most: Talking to our neighbors. Even THAT neighbor whose Harley is too loud or political beliefs are too extreme or whose chickens wake up too early.

    Why is this so important? Because as you get to know one another your view of them will change, your views about people with their views will change, and their views about people like you will change.

    For me, the answer isn’t chastising the anti-vaxx outsiders who seek to disrupt a public meeting tonight. The answer is finding ways to engage with them. To talk to them as humans and not as objects of scorn, to truly hear them out and find common ground.

    For you, I don’t know what that means. But I do know that talking to them is part of the answer.

  • Is the world getting worse?

    Is the world getting worse?

    Is the world getting worse or do we just have more immediate access to everything that’s going on in the world so we notice it more?

    Maybe I’m getting old? Or maybe things truly are really bad right now? It’s honestly hard to tell.

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  • Golf is Hard

    Golf is Hard

    Last week, I played in a mens club event and scored awful. Well actually, considering all of the bad things that happened to me during the course of the round, I managed to shoot 90 officially, which is pretty bad for me, I normally would score between 78-82. But I had one of those rounds where my ball just hit every little tree, weird bounce, and a person in my group incorrectly assessed an additional penalty on me because he didn’t know the rules… you know, abnormal stuff that added up.

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  • Muchos Perros

    Muchos Perros

    A few years ago, Kristen and I thought a cool way to serve our neighborhood if we could watch people’s dogs while they went to work.

    We both work from home full-time. (We did it before COVID made it as normal as it is today.) And I’d spoken to a few friends who took their dogs to doggy daycare facilities that were both fairly expensive and inflexible.

    So we looked for an opportunity to make that work.

    That opportunity presented itself when Rover.com popped up. Rover created a marketplace where dog sitters could list their services, manage bookings, and actually host dogs.

    Rover was perfect for us as we started. It let us try things out, make mistakes, and figure out if we actually liked dog sitting or if it was just a weird idea we had on a walk one day.

    Scout and his ball are inseparable.

    Lessons Learned

    • We make the rules. Kristen and I are, by nature, very flexible. But we’ve learned we have to have some clearly defined boundaries or there will be dog owners who take advantage of us.
    • Our dogs are the boss. At the end of the day, if dog sitting isn’t fun for Murray and Ms. Bey, we can’t do it. We’ve learned what kinds of dogs our dogs like being around and we politely decline dogs that don’t fit their criteria.
    • Do things the right way. We’ve learned a ton of skills since we’ve started. And we’ve set some pretty firm rules for ourselves. For example, we always feed dogs separately. It’s a total pain to lock one dog at a time in our kitchen so they can eat. But 100% of dogs are weird about their food and we’ve just found that dogs eat better and there’s less drama if we do it in a controlled way. Doors and baby gates help us manage this very easily.
    • Build the pack. It wasn’t until COVID, when we shut down for a couple months, that it became clear that we needed to ditch one-time dog visitors through Rover and concentrate on building our pack of regulars instead. We now use Rover occasionally to meet new people in the neighborhood, but generally speaking build our pack via referrals and word of mouth. Having a pack of regulars has taken it from a “mildly stressful” side hustle to something that really brings us a lot of joy. I mean, we basically get paid to play with really awesome dogs each day.
    For Honey, water is life. And she loves to “help” me water the plants by trying to drink all of the water.

    It has turned out that, over time, it has become a great way to get to know and serve our neighbors.

    And yes, it pays. While it isn’t lucrative and it certainly has some costs (pet insurance, treats, toys, home repairs) it is worth doing financially. If we advertised a little and were willing to give up more of our time we could certainly make more… maybe even one of us could do it full-time… but Kristen and I both have jobs we really like so this is a nice thing to do on the side.

    And we get to play with really nice, though somewhat goofy, dogs so everyone wins.

    Adam and Shanti, they are a bonded pair.

    How Does It Actually Work?

    We primarily do daycare. For a set fee we accept up to 4 dogs per day for up to 12 hours of daycare. So dog owners drop their dogs off at our house in the morning and pick them up after work.

    For overnight care (boarding) dogs get dropped off at the beginning of your trip and picked up when you come home, we charge a set rate based on 24 hour increments.

    We don’t offer dog walking services, we tried that and while we like walking dogs… and daycare / overnight dogs get walked… we just didn’t find it worked for us.

    Roger the Supermutt. He might look big and tough but he’s the biggest baby of them all.

    What if something goes wrong?

    In four years we’ve have only a small handful of minor incidents. Dogs playing hard who get a bump or bruise. Dogs who jump off of things an injure themselves. Really minor stuff.

    But, if something were to go seriously wrong, we have specialty insurance so we’re covered. It’s not cheap! It costs us about 1 months dog sitting income, but it’s important that we’re protected in case anything ever were to go wrong.

    We collect the dogs vet info, we make sure they are up to date on all of their shots and all of that, we pre-screen the dogs (cough, mostly the owner) before we start, that way if something goes wrong we’re good to go.

    We also follow all of the county’s guidelines and rules for operating, we have it set-up as a real business, we pay our taxes and all that, so we’re not taking any wild risks. We’ve had animal control here and gotten the thumbs up. And our neighbors know we do this and since we stay within the rules set-up by the county, they have no problem either. You would think it would be a loud thing to live next door to… but outside of the dogs barking when something exciting happens, like the Chewy box arrives, it’s really not that loud because we’re here with them all the time and help keep things under control. And we clean-up like crazy so it’s not like it smells bad.

    We’ve watched Teddy since he was a puppy. He’s grown up now so sometimes we call him Theodore.

    Muchos Perros

    But yes, when we are fully booked like we were yesterday, it’s a lot of dogs. We can take up to 4 guests dogs at a time. When you include our two… that’s a total of 6 dogs. That’s a lot of dogs that want to sit next to you on the couch or want you to throw the ball or play tug of war. And when the postal carrier comes by… it’ll be loud. But 99% of the time… we just love it.

    We do it because we love dogs and we love serving our neighbors. When we manage it well it’s actually a lot of fun.

    Plus, it was pretty cool to go to Hawaii this year and know that trip was paid for by our pack. Mahalo.

  • Mayor Gloria, Councilmember Elo-Rivera, let’s get Clay Park Improvements done right now.

    Mayor Gloria, Councilmember Elo-Rivera, let’s get Clay Park Improvements done right now.

    Note: I sent the following message to my compatriots in the Clay Park Subcommittee of the Colina Del Sol Recreation Council. But this message needs to be shared broadly and directly with the decision-makers. For the sake of the community we can no longer be patient. We need to get this project done. Contact me at mclanea@gmail.com and let’s finish it.

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  • Fear of Success

    Fear of Success

    I find the biggest thing that holds people back from experiencing success in their lives is an inability to manage their fear. Rather than overcoming their fear they just get stuck.

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  • Full of It

    Full of It

    A good percentage of people in this world are full of crap. And we all need help figuring out who is worth listening to and who is not.

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  • Dealing With Negativity

    Dealing With Negativity

    Ten years ago I wrote about the power of negative content on blogs. At that time, I could see a new trend emerging, a trend that would one day become part of entities effectively turning this behavior into a driving force that was used to divide our country into segments of people who hate one another based on the type of content they follow online.

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  • Sunday morning

    Sunday morning

    It’s Sunday morning. Not early and not late. I’ve fed the chickens and opened up the doors to let the cool air in. The house is still quiet. I’ve just made coffee for Kristen and I. And I just sent Murray out to do his one really cool dog trick, bringing in the Sunday paper in exchange for a treat.

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  • The Best Investment Advice I’ve Ever Received

    The Best Investment Advice I’ve Ever Received

    One of the hardest things about investing your money is deciding who to listen to for advice. There’s a myriad of financial advice-givers out there, both paid and free, and fueled by the internet it’s really easy to find them all.

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